| Field report #5
Mistake reviews at the bottom.
Location: Downtown San Francisco
Date: Sunday December 2nd, 2007
Objective: Try some openers and see what happens
Outcome: Cheek K-close with hired-gun sales HB6, which I'd consider 1/2 a kiss close
Went to Union Square armed with a book about linguistics. Did a quick survey of the area, walked back and forth outside the square, saw an Asian HB7 sitting on a low wall near the edge facing into the square. Went in and sat a few feet away from her.
Me: "Mind if I join you?"
AHB7(smiling): "Yes"
Me (sitting down): "Yes you do mind or yes you don't mind?"
AHB7: "Er, sorry?"
Me (slower): "Yes you do mind or yes you do not mind?"
AHB7: "Er, I sorry, I mind? Not sure."
Me (smiling): "I asked if you mind if I join you..."
AHB7 (looking very confused): "Er, er"
Me (Laughing and waving palm down hand): "It's okay"
AHB7: [look of relief]
Carried on reading and was gonna leave it a minute before using my main opener, i.e. reading out something really interesting from the book. Thought about it from the POV of how much work it was going to be to communicate since her English clearly wasn't very fluent. Decided against it. [see MISTAKE #1] Then her phone rang and she walked off and met her friend.
Eject.
Bounced across Market Street to the Emporium, checking out some HBs on the way, they were entranced by some kids doing dancing hip-hop. I stuck around for a minute and moved on to stay on schedule. [MISTAKE #2] Went upstairs under the dome where the leather chairs are. Visa credit cards have taken over the middle of it with some 'private event' but there's still a handful of couches around the outside, again facing inward. Saw a HB6 chatting on the phone with an old lady a few feet away from her. Walked around and assessed the situation, decided to target HB6.
Me: "Mind if I squeeze in here?"
Two ladies move apart. The old lady starts chatting to me, and I chat away amiably for Social Proof purposes, then resume reading. HB6 doesn't let up from the phone conversation and eventually I get a look at her hands. There's a diamond ring on one of them, and she gets up and leaves while still on the phone, old couple comes and takes her place.
Eject.
Walked around the outside of the other side of the couches. Saw an AHB8 sitting on a couch, an Asian dude a few feet away from her on an iPod. I don't think they were together. There was no back on this part of the couch, I used this as an excuse to justify Approach Anxiety and walked on. [MISTAKE #3]
Walked around the mall looking for targets in the seating areas. Went down to the food court. Patrolled the area as if looking for a good meal, but also keeping an eye out for HBs waiting at the back of the lines. Didn't see any after checking out a handful, decided to order soon because I was hungry [MISTAKE #4].
Saw black HB8 eating alone at a 6-seater table and decided to target her [MISTAKE #5]. Ordered Mexican food at the adjacent food place and got electronic ticket. Approached table with BHB8.
Me: "Mind if I join you?"
BHB8: [Gestures hand up in the affirmative, mouth too full to talk. Bitch shield at 100% if body language was all to go on.]
Sat down two seats down from her, facing the same direction [MISTAKE #6]. Sat and read while waiting for my food, ate it, read some more. She left, I left. Never got as far as a proper opening.
Eject.
Back up to the top floor under the dome. Saw HB6 selling cosmetics at a little stall. I'd been accosted there before by a HB9 doing the same job about a year ago, now I planned to go in for an opinion opener on cosmetics for men and what women think of it (think it's gay just because I take good care of my grooming?). Lady being served. Sat on a couch and bided my time. Lady moves off, time to pounce.
HB6: "Hi"
Me: "Hi. What have you got?" [MISTAKE #7]
HB6: [small talk mostly coming from her, how are you, where are you from, what do you do, who are you shopping for, about what I'm looking for, etc.]
Plenty of chat, got some family-related DHVs in, negged her about the pointy boots ("Nice boots, they'd be good for walking through a headwind"). Ended up agreeing to buy something [MISTAKE #7] which I kinda needed as part of my grooming regimen but boy was it expensive! Her sales pitch was very good, which I used to neg her. I asked about her work schedule and negged her about working too hard. She said that I could try the stuff out and come back tomorrow and get a kiss and a hug. I negged her about how I hope the hug is free. I used the opener about male grooming and got about five more minutes of conversation from it thanks to an anecdote I told her about a comment I'd gotten from some loser a few years back when I bought a can of Axe. When she gave me the receipt she said her name was on it.
Me: "Well why don't you put your number down there too so we can pick this conversation up again?"
HB6 (regretfully): "Er, I have a boyfriend. And he works in the mall."
Me: "Oh, shit, [looking around] we'd better be careful then!"
HB6 (laughing): "You know what, if I didn't have a boyfriend I'd love to hang out with you."
Me: "Oh well." [as if to say "it's your loss"]
I insisted on hugging now, and she gave me a big hug and offered her cheek for a kiss which I duly planted there nice and slowly. Said our goodbyes and I left. I saw her again when going down the escalator and I smiled and saluted her, she smiled and waved back.
Back to Union Square. Saw a HB8 sitting on a low wall with a bum chatting to her. (Say what you like about bums, they must have zero approach anxiety. They are one sociable bunch of people. I wonder how many cold approaches they make in a day. 1000?) I looked down, glanced at him and smiled at her as if to say "I feel your pain." She returned the smile.
Walked on into the square, over to the other side. Targeted an AHB8 sitting by herself at the end of a three-seater bench.
Me (setting bag in middle seat to block any interlopers): "Mind if I join you?"
AHB8: [ignore. Bitch shield at 100%]
Couldn't get a good look at all of her fingers to see what the ring situation was, she was clutching a coffee cup. Read for a few minutes and tried the 'interesting fact from the book' opener, although my voice was a bit lowered. [MISTAKE #8]
AHB8: [ignore]
Sat for a few more minutes.
Eject.
Went back across the outside of the square. HB8 was still sitting on the wall minus the bum, but she was flat out talking on the phone. I sat down a few feet from her and resumed reading. Her phone conversation went on and on until I got bored. And it was getting cold. Decided to call it. [MISTAKE #9]
Eject. Retired for the day.
Mistakes review and lessons for future:
1 - Should have persevered, language barrier be damned. Have a backup simpler conversation thread ready in the event of a language barrier, and be prepared to use it when targeting Asian HBs who might not be fluent English speakers.
2 - Don't rush to the next location just because you've planned to. If you're passing through a target-rich location, stick around whether it's on your itinerary or not.
3 - Try to fight Approach Anxiety. Be aware of what your emotions are doing and why, be aware that the excuses are coming into your head with an ulterior motive. If you find yourself walking away from a potential target, it's okay to change your mind and go back.
4 - Patrol the whole area first, don't use hunger as an AA-justifier. Take your time and seek out the targets.
5 - Try to find a target whose food has not yet arrived. People aren't going to be as talkative when their mouths are full, they'll be very talkative when killing time waiting for food.
6 - Sitting parallel is not always a good idea, especially if you're at a table where there are opposite seats. In that situation, sit two seats down but in the facing direction. I think sitting parallel is okay on a park bench because there's no empty seats opposite, so there's no option of leaving empty seats opposite and it doesn't feel as weird.
7 - That was the start of the sales pitch and I walked straight into it. I did kinda need the products she was offering, and they are very good, but they were very expensive. I'll be able to recycle some of them as Xmas gifts but a more experienced PUA would have gotten the kiss close without spending a penny.
8 - Speak up. Don't be shy, no matter how high her bitch shield. Worst case scenario, she'll ignore you. It'll be embarrassing, but it won't kill you and she'll probably feel more embarrassed.
9 - Should have zipped up my jacket and stuck it out no matter how long the phone conversation went on for. It's not like I had nothing to read to kill the time.
Remarks: The playful cheek kiss close with the hired gun was probably not a major achievement, but it was something. Before I became aware of the Game I wouldn't even have gone for that or gotten it. Makes me think that a weekend job in retail would probably help my game. Sales girls should be thought of as training wheels for PUAs since there's no Approach Anxiety with them.
Public areas generally have the seating facing inward. This makes it easy to discreetly survey the area from the outside and lock on a target. Lesson learned - these are good locations.
Throughout the afternoon I kept formulating openers in my head for any loose HBs. This is good practice.
I'd be interested in seeing how an mPUA would have handled the ones with the seemingly impregnable bitch shields, or the ones with the language barriers. I seem to remember Style writing about how he went skinny-dipping with and F-closed some girl who only knew a few words of English.
I can't say I've opened very many 'sets' yet, mostly focussed on lone targets when in the street situation. I think sets are easier to open in a nightlife setting. What do you think?
My satisfaction with the mission: 65%
I've only been at this for a week and already I have 5 field reports in, so that's something.
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