This is from the Eurotour (a 10 day traveling bootcamp through eastern europe lead by James Marshall) (theeurotour.com). I wrote it sometime around September 2010.
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I’ve had 4 toilet sex rejections in the past 24 hours. I don’t frame them as failures though, they’re just reference experiences of me pulling the trigger and it being a good idea. Way back when I was first working on trigger pulling during my 10 second makeout missions, even when I got rejected I felt GOOD that I took action. Most of the time the girls respond well anyway.
Note that in all of these cases the girls still gave me their contact details, and were warm towards me.
I took a risk and showed that I’m honest and open about my sexuality. ESCALATION IS ATTRACTIVE.
Doing stuff like this it shapes my identity of 'I’m a sexual guy, I’m comfortable with that, I have a magnetic sexual energy, girls can feel that, I’m the kind of guy that fast sex is normal for, I don’t hesitate, I pull the trigger, whether she accepts or not is her choice, it’s my duty as a gentleman to honour her inner goddess by letting her know I find her sexy in a respectful way.
First one was a cute little vixen who was with a girl one of our students was picking up. It's my job as coach to wing him, so I honourably took one for the team and set about seducing her. I hate my job.
She was able to play back, she confessed she was a weirdo, and within 30 seconds we were planning our naked superhero adventures.
Next night we met them at a hookah bar, after 8 days of Eurotour mayhem I was in that state of being so tired that I was relaxed.
James always talks about the social economy, to remind you not to over invest, and keep a balance exchange. As a side effect of my tiredness, I’m starting to understand the power of only smiling when it’s earned... I don't have the energy to be excited, so I look very neutral/calm/relaxed most of the time.
On the date the girls said "You are very serious...". I just nodded solemnly.
And later in the convo, when I'd grin just a bit...their faces would light up. : )
There'd also be times where I'd be animated talking to one person, or respond positively to someone, and I'm sure the girls would have seen that and fed into the loop of "this guy doesn't just dish out smiles to everyone, but he does smile sometimes, we just have to work for it"
Again, another paradox presents itself: that very day during daygame, I was running a drill about SPAM positive vibes and validation for free, and complimenting strangers without expecting anything in return.
I guess this (like anything) is still selfishly altruistic... You're trying to get good feelings by making other people feel good.
Anyway at the hookah bar, my girl went to the toilet. I went too, and when I came out I spent ages washing my hands, drying them, washing them again etc so that we’d be alone together at the sink at just the right time.
The girl came out, there was a moment of awkward over politeness which I swiftly capitalized on and converted into sexual energy, by sliding up behind her as she was drying her hands, putting my hands on her hips, turning her head into mine and kissing her.
She grinned, I smirked, put my finger to my lips and lead her into the stall. She gasped, I lead boldly, closed the door, slammed her against the wall and kissed her again.
She passionately kissed back, her lips we so soft, and she danced with my rhythm sensually.
She resisted any further escalation, so I said "Do you want to come to my hotel tonight?" but she said no. We went back outside.
Same thing the next night: cool double date with the same girls, pulled her in the toilets, she didn't wanna fuck.
I asked her the next day on facebook chat, she said "I don't have sex with someone after only knowing them two days!" I’m glad I asked, it cements in my mind that it wasn’t that I fucked up my escalation, but that our sexual realties were just not compatible.
Me and Tim left the date, on the way out we saw these other two hotties. It was a perfect example of the necessity to be adaptable/flexible with your ‘game’ (for want of a better expression). They were sitting in this thin 1m wide section, on top of a 7ft drop to the stairs, with only one entrance, blocked my chairs. Tim said "that is like the most retarded logistical nightmare ever ".
So he went and said "we gotta go to dinner now but you're really cute" to the one with the big tits. (In saying that, most chicks in this part of the world have big tits, hers were MASSIVE in comparison)
Tim has this idiotic habit of putting on this pseudo foreigner broken English accent when talking to locals. It's so patronizing to them and actually makes it harder to understand what the fuck he's talking about, coz he's purposely mispronouncing words in some futile bid to make them feel more comfortable with their limited English.
The big titted chick turned out to be half British, making Tim look quite the fool. It didn't really matter, she still seemed to like him.
Talking to my chick, she said something about some Australian she'd once kissed.
The energy was already sexual from the start and proceeded to ramp up rapidly.
I was about to type "Then I turned on my seductive energy" but I realized, it's actually the opposite...
What I'm really doing is turning OFF my "normal, socially safe" energy, and allowing my natural state of raging sex Viking to shine through unfiltered.
It's not something I have to consciously do anymore, I'm just running with my feelings. Initially when I saw her across the room, my heart skipped a beat, I turned to Tim and said "woaaahhhh she's hot!!l" so I just rode that energy to its natural expression.
So much of this seduction stuff can be more about unlearning bad habits than anything (eg hiding intent, playing it cool, not looking them in the eye).
Our eye contact was sexual, I was touching her, it was like we were dancing, the sexual energy shimmering between us. I leant in and whispered in her ear "This will sound crazy, but would you like to come to the bathroom with me..."
She pulled back and said in the same calm voice "no... I don't want to, I'm trying to be a good girl now"
Combined with her eye contact and vibe, she means "You are fucking sexually magnetic and I would love to be ravished by you, but not in this context...I'm still coming to terms with my sexuality and this is too slutty for me to indulge in right now".
We still took sexy photos and when I hugged her goodbye I kissed her neck lightly. Got her Facebook then we bailed.
The next day doing daygame, I walked past a chick with the biggest tits I had seen so far on that trip. They were real, and huge. Like....sooo big. I cant explain. Like the size of watermelons, but awesome shape and sexy. I let her and her friend walk past, made sure my student was in set, then sprinted back half a km for her.
"Hey" I said, a bit breathless. "I saw you back there."
"I saw you too…" she said, dripping with seduction.
We walked and talked, she was asking me some awesome questions. Some were typical boring conversation filler, but even those felt good coz her energy and vibe told me she actually gave a shit about the answers.
Got her number, met up with her the next night.
I just realized that when I meet chicks now it's like we already know each other, and that's probably a product of me not being nervous. It makes me think that most of the girls I've met up with who it's been weird/awkward with in the past have has the potential to be cool/normal/relaxed, but my nervousness/weirdness used to dash any chance of that side of them blossoming in my presence.
My relaxed energy makes girls relax around me, in a good way, it’s like we can get down to really getting to know each other much faster. It’s meaning I’m having a lot of ‘deep’ romantic encounters in short periods of time on this trip.
I took her to the same cafe as the one that I’d try to fuck the other girl in the day before (chosen coz I knew the toilet logistics of that venue hahah).
2mins later Tim walks in with his fuckin’ date! I was pissed for a second, worrying he'd make it an awkward double date, when I had to move fast coz I was due to meet another chick with Zanna after this date finished.
He didn't say anything to me the whole time... and sat at the next table across. They left after 25 mins. The next day he asked me where I took my girl. I was flabbagastered. He was so fixated on his date literally had no idea I was sitting one table away from him! Props to him for being in the moment I guess.
Anyway the energy between me and my girl was amazing. After about 10 minutes I asked her to come to the toilet with me.
She said "no, I'm not that kind of girl", which launched us into a lengthy discussion about sluts, one night stands etc. She told me she doesn't like one night stands, and I said I bet she'd had a bad experience... Correct. I pointed out that you can't base your whole realty on one experience.
The convo went for ages, and about 3 or 4 times I'd start touching her hand or her arm, neither of us would comment on it, but every time she’d pull her hand away, and the convo would just continue as if nothing happened.
After she really got a clear picture of my worldview/attitude to sex/women, she started reciprocating my touch. We running our hands over each others arms, I'd whisper in her ear and brush my stubble against her neck and cheek, I'd run my finger over her soft lips, and shed smile and part them slightly, she’d touch my face and neck, I’d trace my hand on her upper chest and down, cupping her HUGE HUGE tits in my hands (till she’d say ‘don’t doing that’ in the cutest Serbian English accent ever).... the whole exchange felt soooooo good.
After a while she did that thing girls do when they’re horny where they tilt their head, looked down at the ground sheepishly, and said
“How do you know this? The way a woman wants to be touched? It makes me feel.....soooo... (blush)....Serbian men do not do this....”
She could clearly see she was having a sexual effect on me too, and then was worried I would be angry about getting all worked up and being unable to get off.
I informed her that since I've been having so much sex lately, me not getting laid is a total non issue, I’m happy to just bask in a woman’s sexual ambience. The energetic exchange we were having with our eyes and hands was as much a powerful sensual experience as sex...The moment I shared with her far outstrips some of the more average sex experiences I've had.
I was totally open and honest with her, telling her about the other romances I'd experienced days earlier, and the way I spoke about it all made her really comfortable communicating with me on that level.
“You're like Don Juan” she said. “You find something beautiful in every woman.”
During my MM days I tried many a time to cultivate this impression of me as a ladies man/seducer, and it never seemed to stick. It's cool that I've come full circle where I can tell girls about my job/my reality, and it has a positive effect, making me look honest and sexual, instead of making me look like a status and attention-seeking poser.
That's coz it's actually true, the reality of me as a seducer and ladies man is self-evident. The self is always coming through, you can't fake that stuff, and no amount of DHV stories and routine stacks will change that.
Another funny thing that still happens to me is females being able to sense my sexuality really strongly, but guys being totally unable to see it, and being baffled how girls are attracted to me. Girls can FEEL the energetic level that I’m vibing on, but most guys cant connect with it. I guess that’s part of the reason I attract some haters in the community, and why some people that question whether I can pick up... because in their reality, they can’t see how a weirdo like me could be attractive to women.
There were many times where I’d be commenting on how good my own ass feels to no one in particular, or prancing around the swimming pool alone like a sissy, doing fish impressions and talking in a silly voice, or off in my own little world humming "See you in Hell" by Grim Reaper and headbanging, or whatever other strange body movement I’d be joking around with, and one of the students would look me up and down like "what...the fuck... How is it possible that this guy picks up?"
Which feels kind of cool to defy so many preconceived ideas about what's attractive.
Even Tim would do it every third day or so. I'd be making the cups and dishes talk to each other, of flailing my arms around and making whoosing noises like a cross between a squid and a bird of prey, or just swaggering around in my underpants muttering to myself or checking myself out in the mirror, and he'd go "seriously... How do you pick up???"
James said it too, at 4am sitting around drinking in Prauge, and I said some weird comment about a giant penis washing machine. He looked up and said "It's too late for you Liam. You've crossed over. There's no saving you now, you'll never be normal."
I take that as a compliment. Seeing as I've been who I am my whole life, I don't really perceive anything I do as "weird" it just seems normal to me. My family are a bit weird, so I think my inner child was never repressed, but allowed to blossom in our house and has stayed with me since.
My dad used to do stuff that would fuckin piss me off so much, talk in weird voices, make really lame jokes, and seemed to have a total lack of a awareness about how un-cool he looked.
But I realize now, he didn't CARE that I or anyone else thought he was lame. He wasn't doing that stuff to show off, he was doing it for his own fun. And heaps of my friends used to pick up on that and thought he was really funny/cool.
I do lots of weird stuff all the time for fun, even if I'm just walking by myself I start imagining all these funny situations and playing them out in my head, and then kind of walking and pulling a face in line with that. It means I'm always having fun, even if no one else is around. And there’s a voice in my head that goes ‘what if someone sees?’ and then the social freedom voice goes “GOOD! I HOPE someone sees. Deal with it, social fears!”
I think it helps me as a coach, coz I'm a living example of the balance between moulding and developing your personality without having to be someone else or fundamentally change who you are. Guys who have done private training with me have said that before. "You seem human…I can relate to you. It’s like you’re just another weird dude like me".
I'm still an eccentric, quirky weirdo, it's just that I've adapted that to allow me to meet and form connections with women.
On the last night in Belgrade, I was third-wheeling for Zanna, we rocked into a near deserted jazz bar at 1am.
I saw another chick who was third wheeling (stuck with a couple), and after allowing some bullshit excuses to be decimated by the sledgehammer that is my inner game, I walked over and made eyes to her. I commented that she was third wheeling too.
We started chatting, it was very sultry and suggestive from the start. Smoky, relaxed jazz bar seduction FTW.
At one point her older eurotrash artiste looking male friend introduced himself (with a mixture of contempt and aggressive indifference) and asked my star sign. I engaged him in some friendly banter, and went back to talking to the girl, and he turned back to the other girl.
When I went to take a piss, I thought of how uncalibrated it would have been to frame that guy as a threat and tried to AMOG him. The joke is, he actually probably was trying to bust my balls, but coz I'm not paranoid and didn't interpret it like that, my friendly tourist reality trumped his surly faux-art - pessimism.
Also, when she went to take a piss, I was sitting there alone at the bar. On paper it seems pretty simple what to do: sit there, do nothing, and wait for her to get back.
But then I'm thinking "oh shit Zanna and his girl are watching me, do I look dumb? How's my posture? Do the guys at the bar think in weird? What am supposed to do with my hands? Does this make me look nervous? " Etc
But I kept my cool and it was all good.
There was a sexual undercurrent of deep-sea tidal proportions running through the whole interaction. The way she looked at me, flashed her eyes and smile etc.
She told me I look like Jim Morrison, that was pretty cool.
She took a bunch of photos with me, one where she planted a big fat kiss on my cheek.
We started touching each others hands, and it's all a bit of a sexual tension blur but at some point I leaned over and whispered in her ear "would you like to come to the bathroom with me"
She said no, but kept smiling and winking. Then I said "so what you really mean is, yes I would love to but I can't right now".
"Yes" she said with a sly grin.
I got her email and we parted ways.
The fact that I didn't freak out when I felt the physical rush of the social pressure sitting alone waiting for her to return from the toilet made me proud. These micro expressions of my inner game are awesome reference experiences, reminding myself that I'm the kind of guy that can sit in that tense space with stability. That’s what gets me the results that I get: being able to feel those tense feelings and manage them in a way that serves me, instead of letting them get in the way of what I want to do.
To say "I don't give a fuck what people think" is not accurate, I care to different degrees depending on the context. And even when I care a lot, it's about a values weigh up… What's more important to me: this random bartender thinking I'm weird for chatting up this girl, or my dedication to improving my confidence and reinforcing my identity as someone who doesn't let fear hold them back?
Easy choice.
I said that to a student at some point in Budapest. He was worried about a social freedom exercise coz the people in the club might think he was weird.
I said "Dude, your putting value on all the wrong things... You care more about what a random chick, (from a country that you are leaving in 9 hours,) thinks of you, than you do about what your coaches and friends think about you, and your self impression.... You have a choice between pussying out and losing the respect of the coaches and students (and yourself)...OR putting yourself out there, possibly getting rejected (possibly not) and GUARANTEEING the respect of your peers for facing your fears and being a badass trigger puller...easy choice."
This is a good example of the coaching principle of "the same question has different answers depending on which student is asking."
If another student had been in the same position, I might not have worded it so harshly. The truth is the coaches don't actually judge everyone on their shortcomings like I was making out, it's just that that was what that particular student needed to hear at that time. It’s like how in The Matrix, Morpheus says to Neo “I told you what you needed to hear”
Another interesting thing he said was "oh I went and danced weird near those girls and now they all hate me".
"Hate you. HATE you...!?!?" I stammered. I could not fathom how he could come to such a grandiose conclusion.
I said "that's actually arrogant of you to say that. To think that they would attribute that much importance to your existence is so up yourself. Bro, they don't even CARE enough about you to hate you. That'd be a waste of energy. Remember that random guy who was on pills 2 minutess ago?"
"No... Oh wait... Which one?"
He could barely recall who I was talking about... This guy had been bumping into people and dancing like an idiot, causing a big scene.
“Oh yeah...the black shirt dude...what about him?’
“So do you hate that guy...?"
"Wow... Of course not...he didn’t even cross my mind... Man. I'm so up myself WTF!"
Cool breakthrough.
Anyway me Zanna and his girl left the jazz bar, into this really plush courtyard at the entrance, where there was a big fuck off grand piano sitting right there waiting to be played.
After a month away from my guitar, and listening to more music than I normally would in a week every day (all the time in the hotel, then every night in the clubs), I was brimming with potential sonic energy.
My only outlet so far had been humming, so when I saw a grand piano, I rushed over and unleashed fire on the keys. I was tearing it up.
It was a cool moment, everyone who had spilled out from the closing bar lounging around the outside piano, in the ye olde traditional architecture of the courtyard, under the cover of the stone roof, the rain torrenting down meters away, all my musical repression exploding through fingers pressing keys lifting hammers striking strings.
I poured my soul out, I was buzzing. This older couple came up and said "Sir, you are excellent. Please have this orange, you deserve it". I'm guessing fresh fruit is worth a lot more in their culture. It was a touching thought either way. Or maybe they just thought I had scurvy and needed vitamin C, coz I kinda looked like a pirate after not shaving or showering much on tour.
Zanna joined me for a jam and we riffed it up.
Eventually me Zanna and his girl wandered off into the rain, all merry and moody at once, dancing and singing through the streets, happy to be in the moment but sad coz it marked the end of an era in so many ways: the end of coaching, the end of all our fleeting romances, the end of my musical contact for at least another fortnight, the departure of the sexy, dangerous Australian men who blazed through town in a cloud of passion and orgasms.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ddq6iUPW ... ideo_title
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