FR 10 - # close with HB9 after Xmas dinner

Location: Friend's wife's family's house
Objective: Just eat Christmas dinner and have a mellow evening
Outcome: # close

Oh boy. I'm glad I put on my bling and made an effort to clean myself up for this. I went to this house just expecting to have a quiet afternoon enjoying the company of a family on Christmas day, lo and behold, there's a HB9 there on the loose!

I had a few witty lines ready to drop in as soon as I went through the door to build some comfort since the parents are people I've only met once a few years ago, so I wanted to be able to build some social proof from the get go. I got a good reaction right from the start, and had a real sense of being the source of much laughter.

I was introduced to most of the people in the house except for HB9. I was sampling some bread with pesto, I commented on how good the pesto was and apparently it was the work of HB9. I saw the opportunity and moved to the living room to introduce myself rather than wait meekly for an introduction. I excused my way into a conversation between HB9 and wife, "Are you the famous HB9?"

Got an early opportunity for a neg because she'd forgotten the recipe. Got some early DHVs in there as well (I like to cook, live with two girls, need the food because I was out cycling in the morning). They moved off and I restrained myself from following too closely, it was going to be a long evening in this closed environment so there's no need to worry about competitors. Now there was this other guy who HB9 grew up with, a son of the parents in the house (I'll call him BrotherInLaw since that's what he was to my friend). HB9 is the daughter of another couple who were there as friends of the family. (It took me a while to figure this out, and I let the information come to me in small packets to build up the picture rather than doing an AFC "is he your boyfriend" routine.)

I got more negs in soon again, she responded well to them. During dinner HB9's mom sat me down at the table beside HB9, which I thought was interesting since she had other places she could have put me, or she could have sat beside her own daughter. So the focus of much of the dinner convo was an animated discussion between HB9 and BrotherInLaw. I interjected a few times but only when I had something interesting to add, and it was well researched stuff that they all found very interesting. But most of the time I let the convo flow. No point in trying too hard.

After retiring to the living room HB9 and BrotherInLaw were still deep in a lot of convo, and I started getting jealousy pangs. But I kept it under control instead of appearing needy. I let them work away and exhaust their conversational material while I focussed on building rapport with HB9's dad. The opportunity to converse with HB9 came back soon enough and naturally enough.

That's pretty much how it went for the rest of the evening with the conversation rotating around different members of the group. I just had to make some effort not to neglect my friend. I quietly asked my friend what the status was with HB9 (single or what, I assumed she was since there was no fella here with her, and BrotherInLaw lives out of state) but he didn't know. I dropped that line of questioning when I realised how AFC it was.

When friend and wife declared that they were leaving, I took that as an opportunity to say I was doing the same. I had HB9 almost isolated at this point and was about to suggest hanging out again with her, but she jumped up and moved into the kitchen to get some book that her and BrotherInLaw were having fun reading together before. A few minutes later I got her attention and focussed her on me, held the conversation (avoiding topics that by now I knew BrotherInLaw would use to grab the frame) and got her talked around to the possibility of coming over the bridge into the exciting city to hang out.

Speedbird: "Well gimme your number then and we'll hang out."
HB9: "OK"

And that, ladies and gentlemen, was that. I got her #.

On the way out after the goodbyes I shook everyone's hand and hugged HB9. I should point out that I think I distributed my convo time around the group without focussing too much on HB9, so I think I did OK.

One negative point was where I was experimenting with friend's camera trying to get a feature to work, but had the camera focussed on HB9 for a considerable time while doing it. She looked over uncomfortably and BrotherInLaw remarked about how uncomfortable it is having a camera trained on you. But I spotted that quickly and recovered.

Moral of the story: Always be ready because you never know where opportunities are going to come up.

Very true, I've been out several times at restaurants or other places with no intention of sarging. Although, I try to make it a point to clean myself up each day. I'll be out ordering food, the next thing I know I see someone I want to open, the switch flips in my brain and it's on like "Donkey Kong." It's like the old Boy Scout motto: "Always be prepared!"

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Update: I called her 48 hours after #close, then left it. She just called back a few minutes ago, which is a few hours later, and she's up for hanging out next week.

I think this 48 hour rule is looking good.

I'll carry on sarging to avoid one-itis.

Glad to hear you have your time bridge setup. Very glad to hear you are going to keep sarging. I always think it makes it easier when I know there are others that like me, and she should feel priveledged so hang with me.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Thanks man. Now an update. I got a text from her a few days ago saying:

"Don't know if I can hang out on Sunday. Will call when I return"

I left a four hour time bridge before replying, saying:

"Sure thing. Have a great rest-of-your-trip"

Now she didn't call on the Saturday when she was due to get back. I didn't call her, and I certainly didn't plan on meeting her Sunday. On Sunday at 9pm I sent a text saying:

"Welcome back. Good trip?"

That's where I left it, and yesterday (Monday) I just decided I was going to drop this one. She actually called a few hours later at 5:30pm saying that she still wants to hang out. So I said that I had a reasonably clear schedule for most of the weekend (prolly shouldn't have) and that I'd 'pencil her in for Sunday at noon.' She offered to come into my city, and I said I'd plan something fun to do.

So now what? I need some sort of 'date' idea without it looking like a standard AFC 'date.' I was thinking along the lines of me having to do some shopping for something or other, and allowing her to tag along with me while I do that. Maybe throwing in some trip to the Museum of Modern Art, which I'd have to phrase in terms of me needing to go there for inspiration for some writing I'm doing, and her tagging along with me.

What do you think?

sounds good

itll be good to see what happens on the next update

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You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do.

Sounds good to me too man, I'd go with it!

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

OK, things are going well with the HB8 in my other report, we're due to have a day 2 sometime soon (she was ill today when I called her so she couldn't do lunch). So HB9 from Christmas, I called her up last week and left a message, haven't heard from her since. Last time we spoke (she had called me) we pencilled in a date for Saturday January 26.

So now I'm in the situation I was half hoping I'd get into, more women than I know what to do with! I like HB8, although we're way short of LTR territory just yet and could wind up in the LJBF zone. HB9 would make great LTR material.

I'm thinking of calling HB8 tomorrow to see if she's feeling better and trying to schedule something for Friday, then calling HB9 and trying to arrange something for Saturday.

Thoughts?

Update: I left her a message today when she was at work, she called back. Bit of small talk, then along came the "I'm gonna be totally honest with you, you met me at a bad time in my life and I'm not ready for dating" speech, and I just rolled with it and said "Yeah, okay. No problem. I understand. I hear ya."

She said "well you never know, if our paths cross again some other time then who knows." (An IOI?)

I said, "Yeah well maybe I'll just text you totally at random at some stage and see what you're doing."

She said, "Hmmm, yeah, okay!" She was cool with that. And in parting I fired off a little neg about how teachers have nothing but vacation time (she got the MLK day holiday, I didn't) and she went all "Awwwwww, why do you say that?" and we goofed around with me playfully teasing her about having an easy life and her justifying herself with how hard they work during the week.

So we ended that call on really good terms and I'm gonna set a long time bridge to text her. I'm marking that up in my diary just as a reminder, but I'll consign her number to the 'x' numbers at the bottom of my phone's address book.

Whadayathink? Maybe a month or a month and a half as a time bridge? She should have her shit together after about a month.

On the plus side, this frees up my weekend for Canadian HB8 who was in danger of clashing with this girl, but HB8 is ill and prolly won't be better by the weekend. Looks like a new sarge and fresh batch of numbers is in order! (Although there was that little HB8 MILF from last weekend that I haven't called yet...)