| This is another short story that just shows how many doors you can open if you approach. From 28th Jan 2011
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Was doing a coaching session in the city yesterday, as we were wrapping up we saw an indie heart throb cutie walk past. Oversized t-shirt (hiding what I would later find to be big juicy breasts), denim short shots showing nice sexy legs, and cool combat boots.
My client wanted to see an approach, so I catch up with her, walk alongside and open direct.
“Hi. I saw you back there and thought you were cute. I’m Liam.”
“Hi! I’m Kara.”
“Where are you walking in such a rush?”
“To meet my mum.”
“Oh no…you're in trouble aren't you. What have you done this time…” I say playfully.
“Hahhaa. Are you from Melbourne?” she asks.
“Yes. You’re not?”
“No, I’m from Sydney. I leave tomorrow.”
“What are you doing tonight? Want to hang out?”
“Depends if mums working or not…”
“What’s your mum do?”
“My mums a stripper.”
“Oh. Interesting job. I have a few stripper friends.” I reply casually.
“So…What do you do?”
“I’m a social freedom coach. I help people change the way they think about the world and themselves.”
“Oh cool! I’m going to be a psychologist.”
“Nice. Ok I gotta go but lets swap numbers.”
“Ok! If mums not working I’ll text you. Actually I just text you either way.”
And it was that simple. My core confidence and powerful inner game mindsets are doing all the work here. The fact that I just assume that of course she would want to hang out with me tonight, that’s what people do on holiday and run with that reality just makes it flow effortlessly. I take the lead, confidently assuming she will follow, and she does.
It demonstrates how easy game becomes when you have positive, powerful mindsets. My mindsets are a byproduct of years of coming up against my fears and limitations, actively exploring them using inner game tools I learned from Shae, and all of the positive reference experiences I’ve created for myself as a result of going out there and trying things out.
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That night, I was in the studio with my band. She texts me saying her mums not working, but then calls me to say that I should come and hang out with them at their hotel anyway. I tell her that we finish at the studio at midnight and ask her how late is too late. She says any time.
On my way there she calls me again to say “Mum wants you to pick up some wine on the way here”. I try to find some but too bad for her, the bottle shops are closed. I get there at 12.30am.
She meets me out front and says “Mum said to make sure you don’t have any knives, and that you don’t steal.”
I let her give me a pat down to check for weapons and we ride the lift up. The tension of being alone together in a silent lift, along with the sexual tension of us looking into each other’s eyes makes my heart race. She’s really cute and I feel myself developing an instant crush on her.
The lift doors clanged open, snapping us out of our love gaze, and she shows me into her swanky hotel room. ‘Room’ is a bit deceptive; it was a fully furnished apartment with high ceilings and a slick modern interior design. Stripping is clearly a lucrative business.
We hang out in the kitchen. I was hung-over from the night before, had been coaching in the city all day and then had been in the studio, so by this point I was really tired. But sometimes I actually find it helps my mood, because I’m so low energy, just using the bare minimum, that it gives me this powerful seductive vibe: I speak slowly, choose my words carefully, pause, am deliberate with my movements and eye contact, and overall am just very relaxed. I was like this all through the 2010 Eurotour, just being physically drained, and the women responded really well to my vibe.
This chick was really cool, in the sense that she was as relaxed about the whole interaction as I was. She kept my eye contact, spoke with confidence, and was very chilled out too.
It was like it didn’t occur to her how ‘strange’ our meeting was. I think it was a case of us both being 'outsider' types: me working a pretty strange job and delving into non-mainstream worlds and paradigms, and surrounding myself with open minded people of a similar ilk, and her living the strange life of being a travelling strippers daughter. She was very mature and relaxed, and said she'd had to grow up fast coz of a messy divorce. From the age of 11 she had found herself having to be a mother figure to her little brother.
It’s awesome when two people meet and you just have that ‘familiar’ vibe and energy from the start, where it feels like you’ve known each other for ages…when in reality, I met her for 1 minute on the street, and had known her another 2 minutes in the lift from the street to her kitchen.
We hung out on her couch for a while just talking, and her 8-year-old brother came in waving some toy sword. He told me about his light saber for a bit and then she took me upstairs to meet her mum…who was smoking on the balcony in a towel…who was also smoking hot. She was very friendly and said to her daughter “You were right, he DOES look like Edward Cullen…” and gave me a seductive look.
We sat around chatting, telling funny stories, as if we all knew each other really well. The mum had just dyed her daughters hair, and said “Lucky we changed it, her hair looked terrible today.” I said “Wow you are very blunt. I like that. It means that when you tell the truth and give a positive compliment she knows you're serious.”
It’s strange writing this out and thinking back to how ‘normal’ it was. Just like ‘Hey. Yep… I’m a guy who just met your daughter on the street today and now we’re all just hanging out like old friends.’
Looking back it was cool to see how much the mum was invested in me thinking she was cool, telling me about her wine business she runs on the side and generally investing in the conversation a lot.
We probably spent 45 minutes talking outside and then we all went downstairs for crackers and dips and chocolate milk.
The mum and kid eventually went to bed…it was like the mum wanted us to be isolated.
Just before the mum went to bed she went to kiss me on the cheek, and we both went to the wrong side and almost kissed on the lips. She said “Oh! That was awkward…we nearly kissed on the lips…haha….well…uh…goodnight!”
And there was a pause, and then the little kid goes “He is too tall for you mum!”
And she goes “Um…what do you mean? What are you talking ab-….ohhhh…ahhhummmm…. Oh don’t mind him…hahah…” she mumbled, blushing.
It’s funny when I look back and describe it in my mind: ’Awesome awkward sexual tension with a stripper, in her hotel room, while she’s wearing nothing but a towel, in front of her daughter, who I met for 1 minute on the street that day’. When I think back on it like that, it really was a strange situation to be in. I like it that strange things like that are normal for me, and only get weird in retrospect when I write it out and think about how other people would perceive it, or how my past self would have interpreted that.
The energy between me and the daughter was so comfortably sexual. The way we looked at each other, it felt like we were already lovers. It was cool because she clearly was very sexually attracted to me, physically, personality wise, energetically…but not intimidated by my sexual energy. For some girls my forwardness/openness about my desires is too much for them to handle, so I love it when I meet girls who are receptive to it. I feel like I understand how women feel when they finally meet a man who just takes control and leads…when you meet someone who’s on the same page as you sexually/energetically it just flows so effortlessly.
Once we were alone together on the couch, she told me she had a girlfriend. I said “No way! I have a girlfriend too…And my girlfriend has a girlfriend. It’s an open relationship. I also have another girlfriend…two girlfriends. But I use the term girlfriend loosely, it just means they’re one of my lovers.”
She was super intrigued by this and kept quizzing me up about it. I explained to her how exclusivity is not a measure of how much I like someone… I can still deeply care about someone if I’m not exclusive with them.
My friend who I was discussing open relationships with recently said “It seems like you’re just going with the whole ‘It’s ok for you to talk to other guys’ thing and taking it a bit further…on one end of the continuum you have guys who flip out if their girl talks to another guy, then guys who don’t mind her having male friends…and then guys like you who don’t mind their girl fucking other guys.”
Then she said “But don’t you get jealous!?” I said “Of course I get jealous. But that’s engaging and stimulating for me. It allows me to explore what part of myself is reacting to the fact that she is with someone else, and helps me hone in on what my insecurities are. When you accept and move past those feelings it opens up new worlds to you. My other girlfriend told me today that she’s just started with sleeping with someone new. Of course that plays on my mind, but I like that I am not holding her back from exploring her sexuality. She is experiencing growth by trying new things with that other guy...and also it allows me to be here with you, guilt free. It’s worth the slight feeling of jealousy, for all those other gains. If she leaves him for me, then I was right to let her go. My mum always said ‘Do you want to be with a caged bird with clipped wings or a majestic eagle that has the power and freedom to soar through the sky and fly as high as they want?’ For me that is a powerful concept, and demanding exclusivity is one way to clip someone’s metaphorical wings. The joke is my parents have been in an exclusive relationship for 22 years…but I think part of that stable marriage came from them exploring different relationship types when they were younger so that when they met they had a lot of clarity about what they both wanted, and the relationship experience to make it work.”
She said “So did you think you'd get laid here tonight?” I told her “I am open to all outcomes but attached to none. And I get laid enough that I don’t mind either way.”
She said “You are very interesting...I’ve never met anyone like you!” I said “Well…I’m not gonna lie, I’ve met people like you. But it's still a rare thing. I don't mind that we're not going to have sex because you are cool and I’m enjoying hanging out with you.” It was the truth. I don't know many facts about her but all the sub-communications spoke volumes: she was open minded, relaxed about meeting knew people, relaxed about sexuality, adventurous, calm, able to hold eye contact…all big wins in my book.
She asked me if I was rebellious when I was younger, and I said “Well not really. I was a very safe kid. I was never a risk taker. If I was going to break a rule, I always made sure I didn’t get caught. I didn't really break many rules in extreme ways, but I think that’s partly what led me to this room right now. Instead of rebelling in typical ways, I directed all my rebellious energy into myself, rebelling against myself, my fears, anxieties, insecurities, limitations...that’s how I had the confidence to come and talk to you on the street, and feel comfortable to come into this strange environment to meet your family and deal with that pressure…because I’ve spent time overcoming all the fears that would have stopped me from doing that.”
I said “So is this cheating?” and start rubbing her leg.
She said “No…because you’re touching me and I’m not doing anything.”
I told her the story of another girl who'd drawn a similar line in regards to escalation (the Fun With Ejaculation girl).
I could see her burning up with the contrast of how good it felt, but her not being able to act on it coz she had a partner back in Sydney. I wasn’t trying to escalate to anything more, it didn’t feel right and I wasn’t that eager in that context. I was happy to just enjoy running my hands over her hands, arms, legs, face and neck, and feeling her shiver with pleasure.
She said “It’s really relaxing…” We were just basking in each other’s sexual energy.
As this was going on we were talking, and she said “I think…you are very confident”. I said “Hmm… Well…yes, I guess I am. But that’s a product of accepting all my faults and limitations. I’m not perfect. I know not everyone is going to like me. Some people think I’m a weirdo, some think I’m a loser. But I just accept all of that. Letting go of those fears gives me a lot of confidence.”
I started telling her about social freedom and what I was like when I was younger, she was a bit shocked that I used to be so insecure. I told her “When I was 18, I didn’t think girls liked me. I had so many bad mentalities. I thought I had to try really hard to impress them, and trick them into liking me by pretending I was someone else. I thought I had to fake that I was a really cool rockstar, or a badboy who got lots of girls. I felt I had to put on a mask around them. But it’s been an adventure overcoming all of that. It’s brought me to this job I love, which is the reason I was in the city today…which is the reason I’m here now!”
She asked me to elaborate.
“Imagine if I had seen you today and thought ‘Oh no… what will people think? They might think I’m some sleazy guy trying to hit on her. What if someone sees me following her? What if she thinks I’m a creep? What if I get rejected?’ If I had listened to all those voices in my head, I wouldn’t be sitting here with you right now! I would have missed out on this whole adventure because of a bunch of silly fears. I love creating these sorts of adventures, and it’s funny to think that it’s just that small split second decision to go and talk to someone that can lead to this whole new story unfolding.”
It was so fun to be having this engaging conversation with her and to be sharing physical electricity with her at the same time, as my hands were tracing over her soft skin.
It’s funny that I’m kind of in the middle of a drought… I’m seeing three girls at the moment but they all have small boobs. So even though I’m getting laid, I have a big tits drought, and I miss them so much. In the past when I’ve had girlfriends who had big tits it’s not a big deal, but when you go ages without having them they become so much more desirable.
So it was awesome to just sit there while talking and be able to cup her tits in my hands, feel the firmness and softness of them and be reminded how great big tits feel.
We sat there chatting for a while, and then mutually decided I should go, because she had to catch a plane the next day. I loved the feeling where we were trying to pull ourselves off each other, but kept saying “Ok lets go…now…ok…now...ok I really should go” but it just felt too good, our bodies being connected. She was sitting on my lap, and she would stand up, and then sit back down. Eventually we tore ourselves apart and I drove home.
It was a cool experience of what’s possible, and a massive inspiration of what can happen if you just approach. Again, imagine if I didn't approach her? I would have missed out on all that fun, meeting those whacky characters in that unique situation and sharing that sexual electricity with her on the couch, not to mention those fine as titties. It was a cool time in itself, but in the bigger picture it’s also a cool reference experience of how easy it can be, and what’s possible when you approach. It was as simple as walking up to her, asking her if she wanted to hang out, and her saying yes. It just cements all the powerful mindsets I’ve been building on for the past few years, makes them more concrete in my mind. I feel like this makes me a better coach because I’m ripping up the social matrix and discovering what’s possible, and it makes me more solid in being able to help other guys jump through that wormhole and come into my reality too.
Because at the end of the day I’m just some dude that decided to do a bunch of stuff that anyone can do. My job is to show them they can do it too.
The mum said she hopes to see me next time she’s down for work, and told me to visit them in Sydney.
It’s so evident how much my inner game is driving this…the confidence to approach, the power to assume that she would want to hang out with me that night after meeting me for 1 minute, being comfortable and relaxed in myself to meet new people in a strange setting and it all being cool.
When you have your inner game sorted, all the logistical stuff just falls into place and takes care of itself.
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CHAT