DAY 83: celebrating one year in the game with a date.
The most beautiful girl I've spent an afternoon with.

This post is a bit special since today is my first anniversary in the Game. I'm actually really glad to report that I've had a date with the most beautiful woman I've been with so far.

Context.
Already one year in this forum... Time goes really fast. I'm obviously not the man I wanted to become, but I'm sure in a good way to get there. I ask Swiss Girl to join me in Paris so we could have our coffee. We've been texting each other a few times and she seems adorable.

Goals.
- Have fun.
- Show dominance.
- Escalate until holding her hand.
- Seed another date.
- Be in the moment.
- Build momentum.

Strategy.
- Have fun: smile a lot, joke around, challenge her...
- Show dominance: take the lead, play on eye-contact...
- Escalate until holding her hand: use KINO gambits (lead her with my hand in her back, high-five, take her hand in the crowd, ...)
- Seed another date: get material (hobbies, interests... ) to seed another date.
- Be in the moment: activate the passive observer and pay attention to where my thoughts and emotion are going to.
- Build momentum: kill micro-avoidance, speak to people, focus on being good in the first 30 minutes...

____________________________________________________________________

Summary (for lazy people): She is basically a gorgeous angel and even if I showed dominance and social skills, I had hard time to escalate and show her my intentions... Still a good result too but I have to find a way to be better at showing my intent.

Getting a coffee.
I came 10 minutes late and called her since I couldn't find her at the meeting point. I've only seen her once so I was a bit worried about not recognizing her. As I was calling, I noticed a cutie that could be her... Little after, the cutie picked up the phone. I remembered she was beautiful, but I didn't expect her to be the most GORGEOUS girl in the place.

The weather was good, we rapidly started to get a conversation flowing. I was confident and pretty proud to have such a goddess next to me. Her accent was so cute. I took her to the coffee shop and we had a drink together. We started to speak about travel and all. I was really passionate about Brazil, New York and all. As I was doing good eye-contact, I noticed her AMAZING eyes. She's a golden eyed blond girl. Her eyes have more sparkles than the Eiffel Tower at night. Do not let me start with her smile.

Going to the Christmas market.
I told her we should go to the Christmas market. I lead her with my arm in her back. We only walk through the crowd though. At some point I took her by the arm to show her some nice stuff in a store. We kept on getting to know each other better.

Going to the park.
We went to a park and sit for a while. She took picture of some building after I asked her. She put me in the frame and took a picture. I was nicely surprised but I wasn't looking at the camera at all. She was so damn cute. We finally got to a Startbucks and kept talking, we didn't have any awkward moment during our conversations but I was starting to feel pressure. My balls were hurting me like crazy. Stopping masturbation has some down effects. I was also starting to think about how to escalate but I was not figuring it out. I was not really creating any tension except when we asked some tourists to take a picture of us. I was amazed on how good we look on that picture.

Ending the date.
We agreed on doing something next week together. I kisser her good bye the "normal" French way and then I just couldn't take it anymore. I took her in my arm and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Why not the lips? Guess it didn't fell congruent then... but as always I keep wondering why I didn't afterwards...
____________________________________________________________________

On the strategy.
- Have fun: I had fun, I was smiling a lot and she liked that.
- Show dominance: I took the lead, was social with people around me.
- Escalate until holding her hand: definitely a sticking point for me, showing my real intention is something I just don't do well. I need more experience in dating.
- Seed another date: that was easy... could be cinema... could be a place we talked about
- Be in the moment: yes I was good in that! I was not anxious at all, I've started to be in my mind a little at the end since I was worried about my incapacity to escalate.
- Build momentum: I did a good job when I spoke to the waitress and all.

On the game.
- Showing my intent (and escalating) is a sticking point for me: it might be related to my ego being afraid of getting rejected.
- I'm socially good, I can hold a conversation without effort.
- I can date high-level women.
- I need to calm down. I'm getting way to much excited about this. I've not even kissed her. I've done nothing but the opportunity is at my door. I have to take it.
- The date was too long I think, but I'm having hard time not to stay in date with someone I enjoy this much.
- I need to focus on going on with my life, she can't be a priority, I might lose everything.
- I need more experience in dates.

Coming next.
- I'll ask her out, a cinema maybe.
- Going out Monday night.


She was too gorgeous to be true.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

^Hey Daniel . . . this is the one. Palm read k close. Do it.

Quick Update.

Here's a very small extra to my last field report. To be honest, it was not good at all and a lot of details are missing. I wrote that under the influence of crazy feelings that girl created in me.

List of IOI's.
I was not really focusing on IOI's while I was with her, here's a list of indicators that I now remember.
- As we asked some people to take a picture of us, we were posing head to head.
- She showed me a picture of her sister
- She showed me a picture of her nephew (he was damn cute)
- We hugged when we said good bye, I kissed her on the chick.
- She looked at me in the eyes.
- She wanted to take a picture of me.
- She was enjoying listening to me speaking about Brazil, New York...
- She said the French accent in German was cute
- She asked a lot of questions about me

A sticking point.
I'm not good at escalation or showing/saying my intention. It goes without saying that this is related to a fear or rejection (ego). I managed to get the number of that girl, she likes me and asked me out. She texted me because she wanted to have a drink with me. She's spent her time talking about her family, asking questions about me. She had a wonderful smile, she deserved that kiss.

Setting up another date.
She's leaving Paris on the 23rd, I'd like to organize a cinema (we'll be in a warm place) and get a drink with her afterwards. I thought about Wednesday or Thursday. Pressure has got high since the first date.

Daniel..

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Quick Update.

Small update on my actions to cool down.

About the pressure.
The pressure has been increasing. She basically is the type of woman I've got in the game for. I spoke with Munroe on the chat a bit and I came to the conclusion that this pressure is a good sign. It shows I'm dealing with more and more challenging women. I was not nervous at all during the date, I just failed to escalate properly, but I was not nervous or anything. I've made huge progresses since the beginning. I've integrated a lot of good things I can see it, but I still have a lot of things to work on, including being more direct.

I want her. There is not a single thing that makes me doubt about that currently. Let's make it real. It's as simple as that.

Going out.
I went out yesterday night with French Natural. I wanted to calm down a little and release the pressure, and even gaming other women to have another perspective on my situation... I was really confident. I've met a old friend from pre-school in the bus. We started to talk. It was funny to notice how embarrassed he was at some point while he was talking to me. I was confident, dominant. At some point, the train was full and a woman was hesitation in coming in... The doors were closing, I looked at her and told her to get in, there was enough room. My friend was totally surprised. It was obviously nothing, but less than 1% of that damn train would have the courage to speak to a total stranger and help him out. I was that guy, and that was giving me instant value in that train (David Wygant is right about "talk to anybody").

I've finally went to the restaurant with French Natural. We spoke a lot about Brazil and all the girls he succeeded to get. I was listening without even being envious or anything. At some point, I told him about Swiss Girl, how beautiful she is. He told me something that Insert already told me in this journal. He said I was a sweet heart. He referred to Miss Sunset and the sunset date I've tried to set up with her. Maybe he's right, I might be sweet heart. It's maybe why I was bad at escalating in that first date.

After the restaurant we went to a small bar in the center of Paris. French Natural is a king when it comes to bar game. The bar was kind of empty but he quickly opened a two set of young girls while we were sitting. I was not really well located to get into the conversation but I was amazed to witness that. In the mean time, I've had some interactions with the waiter. French Natural has this set of habits that makes him good in night game. A guy came to us to ask for a chair. I would have tell him "sure take it" but French Natural asked him for a beer in exchange. That was really good, it triggered a nice conversation after it. I could to that.

Changing my mind about the date.
That night opened my eyes. I don't want to take Swiss Girl to the cinema. I have to take her to a bar with music and fun going on. I have to take her where I wouldn't struggle to escalate. I've just sent her a text to inviter her to a Brazilian bar right next to where she lives. If she accepts, I'll be playing home tonight. I have to get that kiss. I'll be prepared.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Quick Update.

Here's an update on the date I wanted to plan tonight.

Setting up the date.
As planned, I asked her out. I offered her to have a drink with me tonight. Unfortunately she was not available.
Too bad. I know it's legit. I remember a Brazilian girl told me she was leaving soon. Now the thing is I wanted to see her before she left, so exactly said that to her.
The message is not perfect but at least I'm stating what I want. I thought I'd see how she react and see afterwards. The downside of this is that I put the pressure on her. I'll see if I get a reaction out of this and opened her again tomorrow if not.

Daniel..

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Badly translated... why?

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

hey man,
I read your whole journal over a course of a week or so, you came a long way bro, you should be very proud. Even thaugh i was pretty disapointed reading the part of you getting really lazy this last month and shit, im really glad you managed to get a date out of Swiss girl. Since the begining i wanted to tell you this, dude why dont you go out at night more, go to a club? Their must be a club in Paris! Even tho you dont have a wingman, whats so bad about going by yourself, as we all know, night game in a club or party, is easier in a way! I garentee you would have fun, and be around loads of HB! Step out of your comfort zone and try it, exemple, you probably saw the pickup artist season 1 and 2, these guys were goign to the club, one by one aproaching and getting numbers. Also you may have heard of keys to the vip, these guys, go to the club alone, and try to beat their opponent! If you have seen the pua season 1 or 2, they are complete afc starting out, then some of them manage to get numbers, That could be you Regarding Swiss girl, even tho you have had a sort of date with her, dont stop your routine, still aproach, dont give up your goals for a small amout of success, keep plowing trew that shit and those sets. Also about you learning guitar, i have been playing for about 9 months now, my dads friend gave me his guitar, Tip Getting a good guitar will help you learn quicker and itll be less frustrating, if ever you need a few good begginer songs, pm me, i have great songs to play to girls. Learning guitar is hard at first, but when u get it, your golden.
Please keep up your journal, no more slacking off, reading your journal is really interesting keep it up! keep up your meditation, gym, your work and of course your game..
Big fan
Ezalex

Hi Daniel!

I'm new to the community (but I've been reading stuff for 3-4 months and read bunch of books).
I have reasonable success with women, with about 2 f-close a week (and it has improved lately due to the pu material).
Do u still live in Brazil? I live in SP and my friends are reluctant in learning the material so, if you need a wing, just let me know!

@EzAlex.

I should go out at night more but my social circle isn't really into having fun in bars. On a logistic note, I live 40 minutes away from Paris in transport. Going by myself is indeed an option I've never tried.

I do have to step up out of my comfort zone. I feel like I'm just a harmless friendly guy. I need to be more direct.

Thanks for the tips, it appreciated.

@wb00.

Hey buddy, I'm not in Brazil anymore unfortunately. I would have winged you with pleasure though. I wouldn't say 2 f-close per week is having a reasonable success in the Game! Great for you buddy.

Please have a drink in Vila Madalena in my honor!

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Quick Update.

Here's a small update on how I feel.

Swiss Girls texts.
She didn't reply to my "I want to see you before you leave though". That was a bit disappointing but what could she reply to that though. I've came back to her yesterday and open a convo with small talk "how was yesterday night? Did you find a gift for you nephew". The goal was to ask her out again. She replied two hours later:
I've answered her:
No answer.

Being frustrated.
I know beating myself up is not going to help. Yet I can't really help it anymore. I think it's paradoxically a good sign though. I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and I'm freaking out. It's also the sign of a weak inner game to be honest.

I somehow managed to go from a situation where a gorgeous woman asks me out to a situation where I'm struggling to get a second date? Come on. I have regrets about that date. I could start a huge list of "I should have ..." but it would be counter productive. Yet something is now pretty obvious to me: something deep in me makes me sabotage myself. Something deep in me makes me unable to tell girls how I feel about them. Something that makes me be perceived as a friendly harmless guy. Every time, at a few centimeters from the finish line, I fuck up. I have to figure this out. Where does this come from?

Next actions with Swiss Girl.
The date was good, we looked at each other in the end and all I did is hug her and kiss her cheek... It makes me want to slap me in the face. But I need to calm down. I'm already having all the symptoms of AFCness, including my old-friend: one-itis. In addition, I didn't fuck up entirely, I just won't probably see her before she leaves... tomorrow. I thought about calling her that day and try to be clearer about my intent or wait Christmas and "ping" her. I think I should stay back a little since I'm not thinking clearly anymore. Plus I have no chance to see her before she leaves anymore.

What's next.
I'm gonna take my guitar right now and learn some chords to relax. A good friend is coming to Paris this week, I'll go out with him and take action no matter what. I want more numbers. I have successfully integrated some good traits that allowed me to generate attraction at a random party even though I've not been gaming for weeks. I successfully attracted a A-class woman. I'm not saying this in a "she's so special" way. I'm saying this because from what I've seen, she's the type of woman I'm in the game for. I want to meet more women like that and I want to kiss them. But again, for now, let's calm down.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Haha... I've just read my last post... I'm doing it again... lol

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Let's try a little exercise. Go ahead and give yourself 20 to 30 minutes to just relax and remove the 'reactive emotions'.(The emotions you feel while reflecting on what happened.) Remove the analysis. Remove the regrets. Just focus on the situation and allow yourself to feel those core emotions during and directly post to the "Fuck up". Meditate on this and then write it down. Describe these emotions as vividly as possible. Describe these emotions as if you were explaining them to somebody who has never felt these emotions before and you want that person to feel these emotions as you do. Give it a shot . . .

@kasabi.

I started by writing two paragraphs trying to analyze those feelings... but I then realize you said no analysis... Well it's actually hard to remember those feelings a day after (which proves that I'm not my feelings since I can't barely remember those).

I guess I felt powerless. I had some guilt since I was the only one I could blame for that. I had everything in hand but I didn't cross the finish line even though I'm working on this race for so long. I felt frustrated from being fooled by that good feeling of actually being in the race. I was already picturing myself in the finish line, but by doing so, not only did I slow down, but I stopped. It actually happens a lot, not killing it, just going far enough to prove that I can do it. I felt ashamed of being so lucky in general (I have nothing to really complain about), and yet being the only one to stop myself. I also felt stupid for feeling so insecure afterwards for something so non-important. It's not that I thought that everything was over, but I've wasted a beautiful opportunity. I was tired from "the Game" and bitter realizing how hard I've tried figuring myself out but had still no idea what I was doing. Then I thought about this dog I recently stumbled upon, who didn't look sad at all about it. lol (I eventually even shared it in the chat)



Maybe I should actually admit that I will never have any idea of what I'm doing in life and just go away with it.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Quick Update.

Here's a quick update on the Swiss Girl situation.

Receiving a text.
After playing (lol) some guitar, I went for a walk in the center of Paris. I helped some tourists, went to see some paintings in a museum, got a coffee in a Starbucks to get warm and went to l'Ile de la Cité to sit for a while in front of Notre Dame. As I was going there, I noticed some girls checking me out. Good girls. At some point I looked at my phone and saw a a message from Swiss Girl:
I could have felt super excited and all but it wasn't the case. I basically felt stupid for freaking out the night before and being so AFC about this whole situation. I am the one making things complicated.
I'd like to thanks Don Draper for helping me out to clear my head from all these PUA concepts in my head: show intent, don't give power away, being nice, being too nice... Everything was messed up.
That was actually kind of cute. She's actually worried that I don't understand her text messages... lol. Let's reply my own way.
I'll make sure I'll see her in a few weeks.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

^This (forgetting actual emotions and/or consciously ignoring them) often occurs as a defensive mechanism. Shedding light on this dynamic of your cyclic behavior pattern will hopefully offer you some tools for correction.

So, let's get to it:
I've highlighted the things that seem to me to be more emotional based rather than analysis based. So let's get to the second part of this exercise. The following is what you have in your emotion "list":
Now meditate on only ^this. Let go of the Swiss girl and other 'pick up' related scenarios. Go back to your personal history of events as far as you can remember and point out the event(s) that triggered an overwhelming amount of the emotions on your list. You won't need to 'search' for it. . .

We can continue this exercise through this thread or pm's.