Yeah, I'm not discouraged or anything like that. Just try to be intentional about what my mindshare is dedicated to.

Nothing of substance to report today. No girls at the co-working. No girls at the climbing gym. The girl I'm hanging out with on Saturday did tag me in the comments of a post on IG, so that started a good little exchange. Good that I'm top of mind, I suppose.

To continue last night's thoughts... a few things to remind myself, as well as clarify for anyone reading.

1) Interest is a pre-requisite.

Especially in these closed-group situations. What I suggested yesterday was done so in the presence of suspecting this girl is into me. That's why I said it should be socially attuned, but that probably wasn't specific enough. I think some blatantly direct comment like that would not be such a good idea to a girl you don't believe is attracted to you in at least some way. Does it have to be a major sign of interest? No. Some lingering eye contact, a stolen glance across the room, or even the position of her feet while you talk is sufficient enough. This is why it pays to learn how to read what a girl is saying non-verbally.

This goes right to what I've said about game for about 3-4 years now. Game, in the most elegant terms, is simply building your value and life to the point where a lot of high-quality girls are naturally interested in you... and then escalating/progressing/not fucking up once they are. What I'm describing by being direct is simply the second half of that statement. The not fucking up part is super important too, but that's a topic for another day.

2) The delivery is the important part.

When you make an initial, playfully direct statement like that, you have to balance two opposites.

On the one hand, you have the playful part. So yeah, you probably want to smile and have pretty relaxed body language. But too much of that... too much laughing and head nods or whatever the fuck else you might do to break the tension and nerves... that just makes you look soft and uncomfortable with the whole thing.

On the other hand, you have the stalwart, shameless sexuality. Too much of that... too much unflinching, intense eye contact, too close body positioning... you're going to be creepy, particularly in a context like I described yesterday. Just be proud of who you are, comfortable in your own skin, and not ashamed to find a girl attractive. Act like telling her she's hot is NOT A BIG DEAL because hey, it's not!

That's the essence here: whether she approves or not, you still find her attractive and you're basically just bringing that fact to light.

3) More than anything else, this is a habit.

I said this yesterday, but I think it bears repeating. I used to have responses like this on autopilot. Now I don't. The habit was broken. So now guess what? It's tough to start up again.

That's because anything that is even slightly uncomfortable or anxiety-producing is going to be very hard to do unless it's largely an automated habit.

And yes, it's OK to feel a little anxiety when telling a girl you hardly know, in a tightly interwoven social group that you want to slap her ass. Anyone who says otherwise is either a sociopath or clueless.

The bottom line is if something makes you uncomfortable, you are probably never going to entirely get rid of it. But you will be able to overlay the habits and mindsets on top of that anxiety so it never has a chance to bubble up and actually interfere with your behavior.

If we accept that premise, the next question is how do we build the habits? My thoughts on this are one small step at a time. Or in other words, reframing success to be just one small increment above what you're doing now.

Client's office all day.

Came straight home. No exercise today. I've been thrashing my body pretty hard lately and it caught up with me the last couple of days. I need to give it a little bit of time to recover.

I tried to get TrainerBabe out tomorrow, she had other plans already.

The short text exchange...

DB:
I'm craving sushi. I still think we need to hang out. And tomorrow's Friday.
The planets are aligning TrainerBabe.

TB:
Lol the planets are not aligning. I had sushi last night, and tomorrow I will be at a fundraiser lol

DB:
You must be in the wrong solar system.

TB:
It's very possible.

DB:
You can only resist me for so long you know.
My flirting skills are really good.

TB:
Lol omg haha

So yeah... I don't really know what my interpretation of her interest levels is at this point. Any time I've tried to move to hang out, she's been busy and has yet to counter-offer.

But at the same time, my other trainer friend (the good wingman I mentioned) says she likes me so maybe she's just playing a bit hard to get, or is completely clueless or shy.

If I had to guess, I'd say she's interested but is just kind of shy/intimidated by the added pressure of the visibility we have within the social circle. If we got together, a lot of people could find out in short order and blow it out of proportion.

Now, realistically, the only way that would happen is if she wanted it to because I'm fine just flying around under the radar, but that's beside the point in her mind, I guess.

But the "Lol omg haha" response to my I'm going to flirt with you line was basically what I've been talking about all week. It's amused shock. Like "I can't believe he just said that but at the same time, it's really refreshing that he did."

My hope is that if she is scared this could get blown out of proportion if she sees I'm trivializing it, she'll at least know I won't be the one to do so.

I've always thought that it's always a good idea to just sort of acknowledge the absurdity/awkwardness of trying to date a girl, and to make the dynamic of guy-chases-girl as in the open as possible. We all know those things to be true, we might as well just put them out there in a way that's fun and puts everyone at ease.

That's all I've got today.

Here's an update on the TrainerBabe situation...

The other trainer asked her what was up. Why she wasn't agreeing to hang out with me.

She was like "I don't want to get involved with him if he's moving soon."

So...

My first thought is "OK, that's reasonable. Fair enough."

But this response from here is a symptom of the overarching issue I brought up last week. I've not been sexual and aggressive enough with her.

The translation of what she said is actually: "He's boyfriend material, I'd end up liking him, and I don't want to have to deal with the emotional fallout of having a guy like that move."

That's cool.

But here's a mental exercise: if a girl viewed you as someone who could release her sexual frustrations and have a fun little fling with, would she care where you were in three months time? Probably not.

What I'm saying is that if I'd been more sexual and dominant in my game with her, she'd see me as a fun short-term option and I'd not be dealing with the issue right now.

My thoughts on this have always been that this is a spectrum and it's best to not occupy either extreme.

The first extreme being: ALL SEX / NO LONG-TERM MATE POTENTIAL.
--This is a great way to play if you just want a bunch of new notches in your belt and care nothing about having any of those girls hang around as fuck buddies or open relationships or whatever. It's a great way to fulfill a fantasy that (I believe) most girls have of being fucked roughly by some sex-crazed animal of a man she hardly knows. I've done this many times. It gets old after a bit because you put a lot of work in and never get to just sit back and say "Hey, let's Netflix and chill tonight.

The second extreme being: BOYFRIEND MATERIAL
--If a girl sees you as boyfriend material, you'll run into the problem I'm having right now. She's attracted to you, she likes you, etc... and this makes her act differently. It's just a woman's nature. When they see a prize they go into overtime trying to analyze the shit out of how to lock it down. And if there's no sexuality to cut those irrational female spirals off, they will go out of control, which I don't ever believe is to a guy's benefit. Like I've said before, I think a lot of game is just eliminating the things that don't benefit you, whether they be conversational topics, frames, whatever.

So ideally, at least for me right now, is being somewhere in the middle. Being hyper-sexual, but softening that by just basically being me. In other words, not to sound like a ego-maniac, but by default I'm going to get put into the boyfriend category because I've got so much positive stuff working for me. So if I set a sexual foundation and then just let the girl discover the longer-term value, I can bang the girl very quickly and then just let it unfold organically to something more if we click. That's basically the game I've played on every girl I've ever kept around and who ever fell for me. Dirtbag with a heart of gold (and a lot of other positive value).

So is it over with TrainerBabe?

I don't think so.

What it will take now is directly handling her concern and making her see whether or not it's consistent with the self-image she would like to have of herself.

Probably something along the lines of me saying "I'm type of person who values the kind of fun, meaningful experience between two people that makes life memorable regardless of the timelines placed on it...I'll throw caution to the wind and usually it's worth it no matter what happens. I realize that kind of live for today mentality isn't for everyone, so it's totally cool if you are truly looking for something long lasting and meaningful because obviously, that wouldn't work for us."

This is, in my opinion the ethical way to do this as well. I spell out the frame and give her my honest assessment of the life and the situation... but allow her to disregard that frame without consequence from me (like guilt or awkwardness) if she truly does want a long-term boyfriend only. That way she can make her own decision and I haven't manipulated her into anything (which I also know how to do, but will not).

Probably a conversation best had face-to-face but if I don't get a chance to speak with her by the end of this week, I'll just take it to text.

Been a while since I posted.

I was stressed and needed to recharge. Took some time off. Went to Lake Tahoe. Skied my face off. Spent time with family. It's been a good few weeks.

Back to the normal schedule tomorrow.

Then, end of this month, my lease ends. I'll then spend about 6 weeks living in my parents basement before I head back to the islands at the end of May. Finally. It's been 25 months.

That alone will be about a 10x in my quality of life. I've been daydreaming and thinking about it a lot. I get really pumped thinking about where my life will be 6 months from now.

So the goal right now is just handling some logistical shit and setting myself up to hit the ground running once I get boots on the ground.

As I mentioned when I first re-appeared in January, that basically means social life, dating life, and related issues. Everything else in my life is right where it needs to be, so my focus will be on those things. Getting reintegrated with my old friends and making new friends will be a priority over women, but it's those two things are so overlapped it's kind of a useless distinction.

I suppose that's one reason I have had little desire to post lately. I feel like the next 2.5 months are just kind of a warm-up. They don't really mean anything right now. The only real thing to do is take time to cherish moments with the people here while I'm still around.

On another note, trying to get myself into the groove earlier today...

Walking out of the grocery store, I make a comment to the cute Asian girl in front of me. She has shoes with flowers on them. I tell her like them, ask where she got them.

She says you can custom make them on Nike.com. She keeps talking, which is a good sign. Says you can also get custom writing on them too and shows me it says "STRONG" on the tongue.

I shat the bed here because she also had workout clothes on so that was a pretty good opening to find common ground since I'm bout dat lyfe too.

But I just kept talking shoes and she got bored.

Ha. Nice little warm-up. Hopefully more to come this week.

Back in the co-working spot today. Not much to report there. I was digging out of an email hole all day, so pretty much just kept my head down and got to work. It's amazing how that stuff adds up.

After that, chiropractor and then gym.

As luck would have it, all three girls I've been gaming at the gym were there today. And all three are basically dead-ends now. Here's the update on each of them:

TrainerBabe... this is the one I've mentioned most. The one that didn't want to get involved with me because I'm moving. I basically did what I said I was going to do, which was reframe the whole thing as a live-in-the-moment type of thing, but give her the option of really saying NO, she just wants to look for something long-term. And, to her credit, that's exactly what she did. I admire it. She was like, I'm being very purposeful about who I date these days. And she's since started seeing some other bro. I've kept up the direct flirtation though. No sense it turning off my attraction. She enjoys it and it let's her know I'm still a sexual option if she changes her mind.

Similar thing happened with the other girl who I said I suspected had a boyfriend. She mentioned it very casually while we were texting one night. Long-distance thing, she said she was going to see him for the weekend.

I just let it pass in that moment. But a few days later we were at the gym messing around doing handstands and shit together. She's legit, former gymnast. The interaction was highly flirtatious and fun. So at one point she finished one and I just looked right at her and said "Dammit, why do you have to have a BF?"

So she was like "Say whaa?"

Then I said "Yeah, two things about that... A) when you mentioned him the other day, I was like, AHH, this is terrible news. And B) that's cool but it doesn't mean I'm going to stop staring at your ass."

And she was like "BAHAHAHA, that's OK, you can stare at it" with a coy little smile.

Now we've got that out of the way and I can still just flirt with her without shame... and hopefully she'll intro me to some other babe to bone. Too bad though, this girl is the complete package.

Today we chatted for a while, I winked at her a few times, she giggled and so on. Good situation with her, but I'm not gonna try to "BF destroy" or whatever the loser PUAs say you should do. That's his girl and as long as she wants to be with him, so be it.

The last one is another that I hung out with once, then she kind of disappeared. She was there today too. I went up and talked to her a bit. Then I straight up asked her why I hadn't her from her in a while. She was super apologetic. Said some really bad personal stuff has been going down. I'll take her for her word on it. She seemed to be in a pretty serious place mentally/emotionally, which is not her usual demeanor. I just told her that was cool and tried to have a normal empathetic conversation with her.

In any case, that means my top 3 prospects are now all kind of up in smoke. Guess I better go find some new ones.

Maybe got a lead on another today when the trainer/wingman I've talked about before introduced me to yet another hottie at the gym. She's a new client of his. Sexy blond with a wonderful ass. He'll try to hook it up for sure. I'll try to throw more lines out this week too.

Well, not a whole lot going on today. Client stuff all day. Probably have about 10 days like this left between now and the end of May, so they're not so bad.

On another note, it's incredible how my well-being and "mental health" are lately. Feeling pretty great. Optimistic. Happy. Energetic. Fulfilled. Confident. Things just keep getting better and better for me. The funny thing is, that's probably partially reality (like I mentioned yesterday), but also partially just my interpretation. As they say, perception is reality. I think I'm just really pleased with where my life is right now, and where it's going, and that puts rose colored glasses over all my thinking. Which is pretty fucking great.

Pretty lax day today.

Woke up.

Lifted.

Then climbed with TrainerBabe and GymWingman (I guess that's what I'll call him now?). That was the first time I've done the 11am Wednesday climb with them in a while. I forgot how great those sessions are. The gym is practically empty and it's just the three of us hanging out and having a good time together. Real good stuff. Plus I can flirt with TrainerBabe the whole time

Came home, showered, got dressed, and had a bit of food.

By the time I walked over to the coworking spot, it was already 2pm. I'm just ramping up a new project so it doesn't require too much daily effort right now. Pretty awesome.

I worked until about 5:45pm and then my biz partner and I ate sushi with a girl in the industry. The weather was perfect today too so we sat outside. It was pretty glorious. And I didn't have to pick up the check.

All in all a near perfect day. Throw an ocean and some babes in and it would have been spot on. That's coming. Very soon.

Good weekend in the books.

Friday, I worked for a bit. But I changed up the pace some and just posted up at a Starbucks for a few hours. There was one decent girl in there, head down, working, which I balked on. I'm not big on making approaches like that. She was working. BUT, one of the baristas in there was DOPE and at one point she was on a break or something, just sitting and eating by herself. That probably was a more workable situation. EH.

From there I hit up the climbing gym. I got one of my buddies into it a few weeks back and now he's hooked. Came with me. It's cool that I've added something positive to someone's life. Not to mention it's just fun to climb with him. He's a cool guy. I've known him from probably 11 years or so now.

Also, FINALLY, this Asian climbing babe I've been crushing on was there. Turns out she sprained her ankle and was out for two months, which is why she was absent.

Few things...

She's super sexy, 25ish years old, and fit. I'm in love.

She's nice, friendly, helpful. She's better than me and has kindly helped show me how to do some tough routes in the past.

I have ZERO idea what the deal is with her. This is only the third time I've spoke to her.

The first time, was just a "Hi, nice to meet you" and 2 min fluff talk kind of thing.

Second time was when she helped me out on a couple routes. She was nearby while I was making some attempts, so I just asked her if she knew how to do them. That alone was nothing. But I went on my way climbing, going to a different part of the gym. Maybe 30 minutes later she came over and just started talking to me. Asking all kinds of questions (i.e. a sign of interest), particularly when I usually climb. That was a big sign of interest and like a dunce I dropped the ball on just taking her number so we could coordinate. Literally lost two months of communication time because of that since she hurt her ankle just a few days later.

Anyway, when she walked in on Friday, I was all the way across the gym and she lit up and waved at me. A few minutes later, I was done with what I was doing and went up and said hi and she came and climbed with me and my buddy for a bit. Nothing too exciting about any of that except she was "incidentally" touching me a lot and giving me lots of attention and interest. She's a long-time regular so she knows everyone so eventually, as the gym got more and more crowded, out time together kept getting interrupted and that was that.

So... all in all that seems pretty good, yeah? I agree. The only reason I say I'm a bit confused is I'm pretty sure I overheard her mention her boyfriend to one of the other people. Could be mistaken though. Or she could be like several other girls I have in my life right now who seem to be into me despite being in relationships.

I'll likely see her this week. I think I'll just ask her.

Friday Night...

Not a huge night.

But I went out with a couple college friends to watch basketball. One of my buddies' wives showed up with two friends. One was sexy (the other, not at all). We hit it off. Had a nice one-on-one, isolated conversation. She seemed keen. I took her number. We'll see what happens.

My friend that knows her, and also has good game and understanding of these things, says she's just out of a relationship and is currently bonkers and filled with weird issues right now. The example he gave was she's been getting guys to take her out to because the attention is helping her feel better about the breakup or some shit like that.

It happens.

Anyway, kind of a red flag.

My thoughts are I'll try to get her out on one date, go full on dirtball, and let the cards fall where they may. Girls will do a lot of stuff for attention but once you start escalating you're essentially calling their bluff and telling them to get in or get out.

I figure that'll sort it out quickly. She'll either go sour and end things or be down for the get down. Either way I'll have only put one date into it. Win-win.

Saturday...

Woke up, killer work out.

Then, around 1:30pm I hit up a St. Patty's Day party at a local Irish Bar that's about three blocks from my place. It was SUPER fun. Live band, good crowd, great energy. I was having a blast. And that means I was free-flowing and fun.

There were only a handful of cute girls in there unfortunately.

The one interaction of note was this...

I'm hungry (from my monster workout, duh). I'm at the bar with the 3 other guys I'm with. Two girls are seated nearby. One's a basic white girl (not my thing). The other's a tiny, light-skinned black girl (my thing). They have a good menu.

I ask them if I can have it.

Basic white girl jokingly says no.

Tiny black girl says "Sure, but don't even bother looking at it, just order the burger." I say something back. I don't remember what. It was probably dumb. But that rarely matters.

I sit down next to the basic white girl. Tiny black girl is on the other side of her. I order lamb stew. It's bomb. I tell the girls. Specifically, I tell the tiny black girl that it's better than the burger. She confesses she hasn't even had the burger yet. I tell her she's terrible. Recommending something she hasn't even eaten. What would happen if I order it and it was shit. She laughs.

I go back to eating my stew.

A minute later basic white girl gets up and some douche bro sits down. He clearly knows my black girl because they immediately are in conversation, engaged, etc...

I take a minute to gather some situational awareness. It seems most of the people around us (it's pretty crowded) are together. They all appear to know each other. That's just good general intel to have, I think.

Anyway, I continue eating my stew.

Douche bro gets up. So tiny black girl is looking at her phone.

I tap her on the shoulder.

DB: Hey, was that guy your boyfriend?

GIRL: Haha, no! We're just really good friends.

DB: OK good, because now I'm gonna start hitting on you, OK?

GIRL: OMG HAHA! What does that even mean?!?

DB: It means you're hot. You cool with that?

GIRL: Yeah, I think so.

At this moment, a different douche bro sits down (intentional cock block). She's so flustered. She introduces me to the guy as her new friend. She's giggling. He's not happy.

I return to my stew and my friends.

Now, this is where a little observation helps. Because this girl stuck around in our general vicinity for a while after that, even though I was generally paying her no attention and just hanging with my boys.

If you tell a girl you're gonna hit on her and then DON'T, if she sticks around, that means she wants you to do it.

That's why it's a pretty good idea to always tell a girl you're gonna do something, and then not immediately do it. If she stays in play, it means she wants that thing.

Of course, the best is if you say something like "I'm going to fuck you like you've never imagined later on tonight." We hadn't quite gotten to that point yet.

Eventually, I re-engage and I've got her in "the bubble." Even though she knows like 20 people in this bar, it's us, one-on-one. Deep eye contact, close body positioning, etc... I was feeling a little rusty. For example, at one point, there was a bit of a silence between us. This is usually a good time to just stare at a girl like you're about to fuck her brains out and not say anything. Tension will rise and she'll break it with a giggle and "what?"

But my rustiness made me go back into conversation. All considered, though, I was pretty happy with how I was doing.

EXCEPT FOR THIS DUMB MISTAKE: after a while her friends come up. It's time to leave. They're all going home. I should have gathered her logistical situation much earlier. Especially because at one point I was thinking to myself "Yep, this is going to be a nice late afternoon bit of stranger sex." That's a great thing. But it should have triggered me to start finding those things out.

Anyway, that's not the mistake. After I fail in getting her to stay and not go with friends, I take down her number... and forget to save it in my phone. MORON.

So that was lost to the game gods.

Fun time though so I'm not sweating it too much.

After that I stayed out for a bit longer but nothing too exciting to report.

Today (Sunday), climbing gym, relax, dinner with parents, and The Walking Dead.

Damn good weekend!

Also, a weekend like this is just proof that I still have pretty damn good game. At times lately, I've been like "Man, I must be doing something wrong to not have any girls in my life right now."

But a weekend like this proves it's not me so much as the structure of my life at the moment.

That's to say, the lack of excitement of late is more a result of the lifestyle I'm living lately just not being very conducive to meeting a lot of girls. The large majority of my time is spent either in a co-working office where there are no girls, in a client office where there are no girls, at gyms where it seems like I know every sexy girl there but they're all taken, or in my apartment. I haven't been doing much else lately, and I haven't had a lot of desire to go out a lot lately either (cold weather... now that's it's getting nicer, I'm noticing that's not so much an issue either).

Anyway, it's a traffic vs. conversion type of thing. Very little traffic lately.

And I'm OK with that. Another 8 weeks and my whole day-to-day changes to back what it was when I was journaling in 2012. Which is to say, very easy to meet lots and lots of babes and a lifestyle that's almost a joke in how much fun and adventure it allows.

YES.

Not much to talk about today.

Worked. Lifted. Went grocery shopping.

No babes anywhere

But somewhere in there, I swelled up with a tremendous amount of pride today, sort of at random...

It was pride in accomplishment. Because under the surface of this boring day, there's a few years of hard work and a level of automony, freedom, and flexibility MOST PEOPLE CAN ONLY DREAM ABOUT.

I started work at around 9:45am today. I was finished at 3:45pm.

Six hours, done at whatever time of the day I wanted to do it. That's pretty cool.

And six is actually probably a little more than necessary. I think I can get away with about 5hrs of work a day in the next few months (and certainly not 5 days every week).

What's even cooler is that I make great money doing it. Do I make a million a year? No. But I'm a nice part of the way there and I don't think seven figures is out of the realm of realistic expectations in the next 2 years or so.

But the best part... the part that fills me with pride and confidence is this:

THIS IS ALL SELF-MADE.

I made this happen. No one else.

I put in the effort. I paid my dues. I went through the hard times of building this skill and then turning it into a reliable source of income for myself. There's no elite degree attached to it. No old boys club that handed me the golden keys. No easy way in other than to be good.

There's no one that made this happen except me. It is MY achievement.

No matter what happens in my life, nothing can take this away from me. It is part of my story now.

Do you have any idea how gratifying that is?

How empowering?

And it's a virtuous cycle too.

From my eyes, my life is a story of success, repeated.

One big, audacious goal after another... ticked off and handled. Sure I've failed, but only temporarily. Because anything in my life I've set my mind to has been achieved.

But I'm no special snowflake. I simply take action that I know will move me forward, in everything I want to achieve.

I've said it until I'm blue in face: LIFE IS ABOUT MAKING CONSISTENT PROGRESS, NO MATTER HOW SMALL BECAUSE IT ALWAYS ADDS UP TO GREAT ACHIEVEMENTS.

So fuck saying this guy's lucky or that guy's got it all.

You see someone with something you want... go do something right away to move yourself even one small step closer to getting that thing. Then do it tomorrow. And the next day. And then the day after that too.

Try that.

Sure, shit will come up. Doubts and tough times and moments when you want to quit.

But whatever it is... making more money, getting more girls, putting on some muscle, being a great dad or son or whatever... I promise you this:

If you can go to bed 300 nights a year in a better place than you were when you woke up that same morning... in a year or two, you won't even recognize your life anymore.

This is your one life. Be relentless about it.

Another standard day.

There was a new hottie at the gym today for once. Half-Asian, skinny, tall. But she was pretty much head-down exercising the whole time so I'll just have to hope she comes back.

There's a tatted up girl that's been coming in lately too that I need to strike it up with. She's super fit. Short hair, which usually I'm not a fan of, but she pulls it off beautifully.

It took a few months of pretty conscious effort, but I've got a lot of good social momentum at this gym. I know just about everyone who's social (ie the people who actually talk to others). When I walk in, multiple people are like "Hey Daniel!" and if I let it happen, I can easily spend an hour shooting the shit with one person after the other.

That's pretty cool. Certainly puts me in the top tier there, status-wise, which is probably why several of the hotties there think I'm a boss.

I don't know how much benefit that status has socially though, beyond in perhaps sparking attraction in girls.

A lot of these friendship, with the exception of a small handful, never develop to anything outside of the gym. Maybe that's my fault. Maybe that's just the nature of the beast. Likely, a combination of the two.

Honestly, right now, none of it really matters. But I'm just thinking ahead to when I move and engrain myself into new environments, new groups, new activities. I want to spend my time doing things that a) I love doing and b) build out my social life and make real connections.

Anyway...

Onto some girl-related thoughts.

I was watching a presentation on sales today. The guy basically said: selling boils down to two skills. Opening the sale and closing the sale.

That really reminded me of some things I said a few years ago about game: namely that's is really nothing more than interacting with a lot of girls and escalating on as many of them as possible.

So this had me thinking about game in the context of sales funnels, which is something I sort of mentioned the other day.

So where does it all start?

With the marketplace.

If you don't live in a place where there are a lot of available girls that meet your personal standards, you're basically fucked.

Example: If you're exclusively attracted to Latin chicks and you live in Japan, you'll never get very far.

Common sense.

SOLUTION: be in a place where there are a lot of single, available girls that you fit you're particular preferences.

Then, how many of those girls are you actually coming into close proximity to?

It doesn't matter if the market is chock full of your dream girls, if you sit inside all day, you're basically fucked.

This is like traffic generation. SOLUTION: Build a lifestyle, social life, and daily schedule that crosses your path with lots of girls.

Then, how many of the girls you come into close proximity to are you actually interacting with?

I don't care it if you cold approach, get introduced, fart in her face, are so good looking that she comes up to you. At some point, you have to talk to the girl. SOLUTION: approach, have friends introduce you, etc...

From here, the distinctions get a little less clear.

But I think the next metric is how many girls you interact with are into you within the first 5 minutes.

Remember: I think there's no such thing as building attraction. She's basically into you or not before you ever even open your mouth.

SOLUTION: dress well, carry yourself with great posture and body language, have rock solid voice tone and subcomms, don't be a fat slob, maximize your looks, etc...

This has almost nothing to do with the actual things you say. In other words, you're the product and if the product sucks, you're fucked no matter what. So improve the value of the product.

After that, I think it's how many girls who are initially into you do you establish a sexual/romantice dynamic with?

This is basically, in some way, indicating interest to her. SOLUTION: Touch her, tell her she's sexy, look into her eyes, flirt, blame her for being hot, etc...

After that, how many of those girls do you close the deal with?

After the dynamic is set, you should be CLOSING HARD. If you're losing a lot of girls after some nice, pleasant conversation and after they initially seem hooked, it's because you're being a pussy, plain and simple. SOLUTION: Be a shameless dirtbag.

After that, I guess it's how many of the girls you nail do you keep in the capacity you wanted to?

If you just wanted a one-night stand and the girls are consistently clingy, there's something you're subcommunicating that leads them to believe they'll get more investment from you. If you want a relationship and you always lose the chick after the first bang, you either suck in bed, gave off a weird vibe after the bang, or didn't balance overly aggressive and sexual game with some heart of gold stuff like I harp on all the time. SOLUTION: Varied.

I suppose there are a couple of takeaways, but in keeping with the OPEN and CLOSE comments that started me thinking on this, these are the most important:

1) Regardless of what the PUAs and other morons tell you, the NUMBER ONE MOST IMPORTANT factor in your results is how many girls (that meet your standards) your life enables you to talk to in a day, week, month, etc... Great game and being a super high-value guy don't matter for shit if there's no one to put them in front of.

2) Once that's taken care of, the next most important thing is actually being a great guy. If the "product" you're offering is garbage, only garbage girls are going to want it. If you want high-value girls, you - the product - need to be high-value too. This also becomes important later in the "funnel" - to keep girls, the more interesting your life is, the deeper you are, the funnier you are, the more money you have, etc.... all of that is super helpful for "retention." So build yourself into someone worthwhile in as many ways as possible.

3) At this point, you're talking to a lot of girls and a big percentage of those girls are into you. So all you have to do now is escalate and close. In other words, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS GAME OTHER THAN BEING ABLE TO ESCALATE. Forget trying to build attraction, DHV, and all that other nonsense. Just try to put your wang in one of her holes. If you've taken care of 1) and 2) above, it won't take too long.

Went out of town again. To visit my grandfather.

Anyway, back to the daily grind today.

At the climbing gym, I may have blown an OK opportunity.

OK in that she was very into me and decent looking (perhaps a 7). I guess if she were better looking I would have put in more of an effort. Maybe I'm too picky.

Not a whole lot to it. She started climbing near me. She initiated conversation and then we had fluff talk for a bit while we traded attempts. She was flirting, making incidental physical contact, etc... Basically every sign you can think of that she was into me.

That was basically it.

I say "blown" because I probably should have grabbed her number or pushed it ahead in some manner. It would have been as easy as saying we should climb together sometime...

Or since the conversation drifted to going out and weekend plans and all that... that we should get together over the weekend or something.

Like I said, a slightly hotter girl and I would have found a way to push ahead. My game is always tightest with the uber-hot girls. It's when I really come out, am completely sexual and present, and operate on a level that's almost unbelievable.

But in reality, this was certainly cute enough and I was just making excuses, being lazy, and acting like a puss. They can't all be perfect 10s.

I had an interesting weekend. Along with it, came a few insights.

First, let's backtrack to what I wrote last month (two posts above this one). Essentially, I laid out a few different checkpoints that I think are pretty helpful in figuring out where one is losing chicks. A poon funnel, if you will...

Now, as I was looking at that, I basically said to myself: once I'm in a better "market" and once my lifestyle and daily life change to put me out and about more, I'll be getting more chicks.

Essentially the logic is this: if I close the same number of girls, simply having more girls "inputted" into the system will result in getting more.

This is 100% true. It's simple math and yes, I don't currently live a lifestyle that really is conducive to getting a TON of girl. So a pretty simple change to a better market and daily lifestyle would yield big increases.

And the change happens next month, so it IS a BIG leverage point, especially since it basically happens at no opportunity cost.

But I'm now reconsidering if it's the MOST IMPORTANT leverage point. I don't think so and here's why...

5 MIN PULL THWARTED BY RELENTLESS DUO OF GAY COCKBLOCKERS

Haha, gotta love a good headline.

So I went to Scottsdale, AZ with a group of 5 other friends. All good buddies from college.

To set the scene: Scottsdale, unbeknownst to me until they started planning the trip, is PARTY CENTRAL. We stayed at The W Scottsdale which is literally on the block of ~10 big bars/clubs. It's also the site of a crazy, Vegas-style pool party on Saturdays.

There are a ton of hotties there as well. They're everywhere. And they are nice, friendly, and down for fun.

So it was super legit.

I'm going to start at the very end, Saturday night, because that's the 5 min lost pull, which is where the relevant story comes in...

We arrived on Thursday and partied pretty much straight through. The result was that by Saturday night most of the group was down for the count. Not me and not one other guy, though. Why? Because we have giant balls, that's why.

Also, we're the only two single ones. The rest are married. So yeah, that may have something to do with it too haha.

Anyway, we're at one of the bars that's right next to the hotel. It's a good scene. But a long day of drinking and partying at the pool party that afternoon left me a little tired and a lot hungry.

I tell my buddy I'm leaving to go grab some pizza.

I go. Two slices. One pepperoni. One peppers and onions.

I immediately face the peppers and onions like whoa.

So now I'm walking back towards the bar. This area is bars everywhere, mind you... so there are people out on the street everywhere. I'm facing the pepperoni as I walk. I see two guys in an animated conversation and a beautiful Persian (perhaps?) girl with long, long black hair standing next to them, unengaged in their conversation.

She's bored. Excellent.

I walk up to her: "This pizza is legit. Wanna bite?"

Her: "Hmm. I don't know."

Me: "You sure, it's bomb."

Her: "OK... lemme try..."

I feed her pizza. Probably think to myself I'd rather be feeding her dong.

She agrees, it's good pizza.

Somehow, during this, I've maneuvered myself to be leaning against the tree she was standing next to. You know, too cool for school style ahaha. When I get really into this mindset, I have total nonchalance. Worried about nothing. Very slow mannerisms. Slight disinterest (but countered by touching and eye contact and direct statements). Etc...

We fluff talk. I crush the rest of my pizza. Nonchalantly, of course.

She's now all-in. Digging the DB flow. Facing me full-on. I have hands on her hips, gently pulling her closer. Deep eye contact. She's starting accept/close in and press up on me. Fuck, I love hitting on hot chicks. It's a rush for me.

Now we get our first interruption. Let's call him FatGay.

So FatGay comes up, with clear animosity in his body language.

I obviously don't know he's gay at this point. It doesn't matter. Because what I do know is he is clearly not a fan of me putting my hog in this babe. Thus, I am not a fan of him.

He interrupts. Tries to physically pull her away. But she's in a trance, paying no attention to anything but me. Seeing that it's a losing proposition, he turns to me.

FatGay: Who are you?

Me: Daniel [epic disinterest, like I'm basically talking to an annoying homeless person - just keeping the focus on her. I feel like this is the best way to deal with guys who are ruining your flow, just pretend they don't exist and are annoying little inconviences].

FatGay: I'm FatGay.

I'm literally ignoring him now, and just keeping talking to the girl, so he just walks away. The girl (never got a name), tells me not to mind him. He's gay and protective.

We go back into our bubble. It's been perhaps 3 minutes at this point.

We're at it again, just fluff talking, now mixed with logistics recon.

I tell her I'm just in town partying. Staying at The W, which conveniently, I can literally point at since it's like a block and a half away. The W is a very nice hotel, so I'm assuming I get some sort of intrigue on that too.

She's falling further in. Pressed up against me. Completely unbroken, dooey, submissive eye contact. I pull her closer. Tell her she should come back to the hotel. That I have champagne in the room. We'll party. I have a room to myself so I'm not worried about getting back there and having other people in the room.

She gives the expected... "I just met you."

I just maintain eye contact, expressionless. The tension skyrockets.

She breaks it... "But gosh, I could get lost in your eyes all night."

Me: "And I'll certainly be keeping you up all night."

FatGay reenters. Again, tries to break our trance. This time the girl tells him to go away. He leaves. Goes to talk to the other Gay.

We're back in the bubble. Out of context, as if a deliberation in her brain has just ended, she looks up at me and says "OK, I'll go back with you. Let's go." I hadn't even said anything to that effect.

Of course, it's not going to be that easy. The two Gays have a taxi and are in the street being like "Come on! Let's go!"

The other one, SkinnyGay, runs up and starts talking to the girl. They talk for 5 sec, I don't what. He leaves. She says to me "OK, let's go."

We start walking away but I can hear the chaos erupting behind us.

We get about 20 yards, holding hands, when SkinnyGay runs up and grabs her other hand. He's dragging her away. For a moment, she is crucified between us. I'm like, fuck this, too much to deal with... and I let go of her hand. The last thing I see is her looking right at me... literally SADNESS plastered to her face as she's being dragged off.

That was that.

So... what was the realization?

I'M NOT PULLING HARD ENOUGH.

There were basically two points there where if I had grabbed my balls I could have kept this girl. The first was just when the fat one was trying to "AMOG" me. I should have just told him the deal and to stop being a jealous little pussy. The girl would have been on my side, so it very realistically would have likely worked.

If it hadn't, the same thing when the skinny one dragged her off would have been effective too.

In either case, I needed to take control of the situation and if I did, my chances of closing would have gone up dramatically. I learned long ago that once a girl is into you, the game is more-or-less moving forward and plowing through obstacles. If you don't do that, you will LOSE all sorts of chicks. Just like I did here.

Which is why I brought this, the final night of the trip up first. But really it was just the last event in a handful that happened over the three day period. The straw the broke the camels back, and made me sit back and look at all this a little more carefully.

Just a few hours before this, for example, I had a girl all over me. Alone in the back hall leading to the bathrooms at another bar. She was basically like, I want you but you don't live here and I don't want to have a one night stand.

Come on!??! Really??? If I had a nickel every time I heard that...

But I didn't push very hard when she said that, didn't push to get her so horny those thoughts disappear (which is actually quite easy to do)... and that was that. That should have been a layup.

Earlier that day, at the pool party, I was making out with a gorgeous black girl. But she was with her sister and getting her out of her sister's overwatch was tough. Tough, but not impossible. I even had a good opening because I needed to go back to my room at one point. "Hey come with me... tell your sister you'll be gone for two minutes because we're just getting that bottle of orange juice I have..." BOOM. GAME OVER.

And on top of all that... I even had a girl IN MY BED MAKING OUT on Thursday. Her friends were blowing her up because she was their ride home and she just disappeared to come back with me. I should have just turned her phone off and told her they were adults. Easy peasy. Instead I let her answer the phone and get caught up in the drama, ruin the moment/momentum we had, and she was like "I gotta go. I'm their ride and they're are pissed."

The point is: I said I need to put more girls into play. And that's still a valid statement.

But, more importantly, I need to close the ones that get the deep into the "funnel" before I do anything else. I think there's a greater return on effort there. It's essentially a cost-free gain if I just grab my balls.

After evaluating all this, I did a bit of a mental exercise...

In the last year, I either boned or got dome from eight girls. I guess that's an OK year by most guys' standards. For me, its well below what I'm used to.

So I went back and counted... and there were about 15 additional girls who got to these deeper parts of the process... where it's definitely on and where logistics and closing the deal are all that's left... and I lost each of them.

So that's 15 girls that I didn't hook up with that realistically, were highly probable. They were deep into the funnel, which is where uncertainly is usually lowest, if you close hard.

Even success with just half of those would have doubled the number of girls I hooked up with over the last year.

That's a pretty significant turnaround.

There's one silver lining in all of this.

If "number of girls opened" and "closing hard" are the two biggest leverage points for QUANTITY of girls.

I think "being a high-value guy" is the biggest leverage point for QUALITY of girls.

And that's the silver lining. As I was looking back on those 15 or so "lost" girls, it was pretty encouraging how high-quality they were. A very high baseline. Since they were all past the point of mutual interest, that's a pretty good indicator that I'm attractive to a generally very high level of girl.

So I feel good about that. Just gotta bring out a bit more scumminess to close 'em down

I read your entire journal cover to cover. Bloody brilliant! Im just curious about how I can improve my kino skills and attraction stuff? What was your system of learning escalation and making it congruent to yourself? Because it really seems like you figured out your own style and improved it which is what i want to do.

_________________
Omnia Mutantur Nihil Interit

Everything changes, but nothing is truly lost.

Hmm...

I don't know if I ever really "learned" escalation so much as just realized that it was a huge leverage point and then just committed to doing it.

And I think that's what made it congruent.

Here's what I mean: I've always thought all that shit like attraction routines and DHVing and anything where you're actively TRYING to win a girls attraction always felt stupid. Not to mention I think it's a terrible perspective - I have to do this to EARN a girl's interest. Whatever.

Look: some girls will like you, others will not. I'd rather not worry about the ones that don't want anything to do with me and just focus on fucking the ones that do. For me, that's how I've always made this whole thing fun and enjoyable. I'm just a horny fucker who wants to bang a lot of hot chicks. So I just started escalating on all of them and that seemed to sort things out pretty quickly.

As far as style, again, I just do what's fun and what comes to me in the moment. I think I've said this before but I think that's some combination of subcommunicated/contextual cues, verbal statements, and downright physicality. I guess the nature of the situation dictates the severity and degree that any of those three things is used in a particular moment. I think what I mean is that you need to find something that pushes the severity/sexual energy of the interaction perhaps two steps beyond where she might think it's gonna go.

For example: if I meet a girl out for a date and we're sitting side-by-side but she's angled towards me (hips and feet particularly), that's a contextual cue that she's keen, but if we've just been sitting there chatting, the sexual energy is probably pretty low. Since she's keen, it's our job to ramp it up.

In this situation, the loser does nothing. Maybe he doesn't even read her body language cues. Maybe he does but he thinks if he continues to tell cool "DHV" stories or connection-building anecdotes about his life and hers that she will just succumb. He's right, she will succumb. To going on lots of interesting, time-consuming, and expensive dates with this guy every weekend... while some stud invites her over to fuck at his place each Tuesday after work.

The guy with a slight budding set of balls may read her interest and hold eye contact and say "God, you're fucking beautiful." He may even gently put his hand on her legs while he does it. And yes, he might get laid, but it'll still probably be a slog because he's only gone one step beyond what she might be expecting. He hasn't blown the doors off this date. He's created a slow boil... which works... but he hasn't riled her up in a way that will have her calling her BFF the next morning saying "OMG, you will not believe what happened on my date last night. Meet me for brunch in 20 minutes!"

But the guy with a big set of balls. He's going to take her interest, the tiny little bit of body language she's giving him, and he's going to fucking set it on fire. Like a freaking ray of sun being shone through a goddamn magnifying glass. Fuck the slow boil. The best, most enjoyable time you will ever have with a girl (new or old), is a fun, playful time that's interjected with EXPLOSIVE sexual energy.

So what does Mr. Big Balls do?

Well, he sees that body language and holds the eye contact. Deadpan and silent. And just lets it build. And build. His eyes are steely. He's probably envisioning fucking her doggy style. And she'll see it. See the primal lust burning in his eyes, but also feel like maybe, just maybe, there's a part of him that's still not been won over, and she'll inevitably say "Hahaha, what????"

That's when he'll lean in, grab the back of her neck, pull her ear to his mouth and say "You have to stop looking at me like that... [LONG PAUSE WHILE SHE WONDERS WHY]... or I'm going to have no choice but to throw you over my shoulder and take you home with me."

Boom. Two giants steps beyond what she's expected. Beyond anything she's probably ever experienced in her entire life. And I promise you this, if you do that right (and if she's interested to begin with, duh), she will surrender to whatever you have in store, willingly and happily.

And if you think that's too fast or won't work on most dates or whatever... here's a challenge: next time you are one-on-one with a girl and you get a little contextual clue of interest from her (eye contact, hip position, direct compliment, etc...), just hold the silent eye contact. That's your only standard for success. Just get that far and then I challenge you to come back here and tell me that you didn't feel like you could do or say ANYTHING in those moments while the tension was rising.

I'll probably be posting a bit more now. I'm less than two weeks away from moving. And that's when everything I've wanted for a long time will come together. It's started to MOTIVATE the hell out of me. Filling me with new energy and passion for all sorts of stuff: game, sex, social life, personal development, income growth... just about everything. So much win going on right now and feet haven't even hit dirt yet. I am fucking AMPED.

Here's an interesting interaction I had today:

So I went to the climbing gym around 11:30am with the two trainers I climb with most often.

We get there, warm up and bit and then go to climb in the very back corner.

Sitting in front of one of the other walls as we walk passed, preparing to climb, is a lone, sexy, young brunette girl was climbing by herself.

So we get to the wall we're climbing and the way the gym is laid out, where she was climbing was in full view of where I was climbing (and vice versa) but across the gym. There's maybe a half basketball court of space between these two walls. Keep in mind, it's around noon, so there's me, my two buddies, her and maybe one or two other people in this entire area. It's quiet and calm.

I mention this because it helps to understand how I read this girl's interest levels and how that played into us eventually getting into a nice little "bubble" interaction (the best kind).

So anyway, right after we start climbing over there, I notice this girl looking over. Another minute later, I notice her looking over again, and we make eye contact and hold it for just a second. I think that's important. I don't think you necessarily have to smile and wink or even do anything other than NOT scowl, but making eye contact at least hints to her that you two might be playing the same game together. As an added little bonus, both times I noticed this, I was talking to my buddy, so I seemed nice enough.

A minute later and she has moved to a wall closer to ours. She glances over again.

At this point, we're "speaking."

And look: I know that a girl who is simply checking me out more than likely likes long hair. How do I know that? Well, I have long hair and it's VERY POLARIZING. Meaning many girls hate it. But the ones who don't love it and hence love me. The point is, you have to know what your strengths are. My hair was up, so I took the band out of it, let it fall, ran my hands through it and then put it back up. Just like every girl in the world does 10 times while she's working out. So it wasn't odd or blatant but it was a pretty big signal I sent her way. I bring this up because I don't think I stress enough how, especially in relatively cold situations like this, it's very helpful to be highly situationally aware and to try to open things up before you ever start talking.

So wouldn't you know, a minute after this display, she walks over and starts climbing the exact same problem me and my buddy had been working on. She doesn't get it and I walk over and tell her what she might try with her feet on the part she just fell on.

And boom... we're off. Immediately completely open. That shouldn't be a surprise. In girl-speak, she had practically screamed across the gym that she was interested in me.

We ended up chatting and climbing together for the next hour-ish (my two friends left early on in that hour too, so it was complete one-on-one).

She was super interested. Asking questions, taking interest, facing me with complete body language and giving me full eye contact. The conversation was standard but here's the one thing I want to point out...

It came out pretty early in the conversation that I'm moving next week.

That's important because it then becomes the entire context around the flirty, get-to-know-you conversation we were having. In other words, where's this going?

So eventually I tell her I have to get going and she says "So when are you taking off again?" I tell her next Wednesday.

She asks if I'll be back at the gym again before then. I tell her maybe Sunday and Tuesday. She says she's here all the time so maybe we'll see each other. Again, clearly COMPLETELY into me. Basically searching high-and-low for another opportunity to see me.

Now here's where I'm clearly rusty and not pushing or escalating on autopilot. Because after that I was basically like, "Well, it was nice meeting you too. Hopefully I'll see you here again before I head out."

Remember: I believe in always progressing things. There's no progression there. And honestly, if I wasn't moving, that'd be OK. There'd be plenty of time to push in the future.

But on short notice, with a quick-fling as basically the only option...

There are about a million ways I could have played it better.

I think something completely open and straight-forward would have been best. Something like "So listen, you seem like a really fun girl, I've enjoyed talking to you, and I think your pretty cute... which makes it kind of a shame that I'm just now meeting you a week before I move."

She would agree and I would have then had an opening for one more step of progression which could have been going to lunch right away (it was around 1pm at this point)... taking her number to go grab drinks later in the evening... or as a last resort, coordinating to climb together again before I go.

It would have been as simple as her agreeing and me then saying "OK, well, I tell you what, what are you plans the rest of the day? Are you free tonight? OK good, let's grab drinks at XYZ spot."

Boom.

The point is, with so much interest and the obvious elephant in the room of me moving, the best thing to do would have been to just acknowledge the entire situation, mutually agree that we should still hang out, and then use that to subtly open the frame that since time is so limited it means there some very no-strings attached sexy time ahead of us.

Urgh. I really hope that now that I'm getting back into a much more daily habit of hitting on chicks, things like this will once again become second nature. Always be pushing.