I'm kinda at a roadblock again.

I pulled up at the petro station in the morning three morinings in a row. First time, I walked in and grabbed a newspaper but the girl was serving a guy.

Second time, I walked outside the station and saw a huge queue so I couldn't approach her. It would have taken ages for it to have died down.

Third time was fucking perfect, but I walked around the station up and down, and again up and down the road. Then bottled it.
And I'm kinda regressing here. I've got a hand written note on it written, 'I just had to ask if you fancy a coffee, then my number?'

And even this, non verbal, passing a bit of paper to her over the counter... has got me pissing my pants. I just want to complete this now. Any ideas or help?

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642

Technical stuff:

Obviously, you will have to find a time when she isn't busy. Perhaps when she gets out of work? Perhaps around her lunch break?
1. No, no, no. . . no paper. Again... if handing over a piece of paper was a good opener, you would have thought of it. We do not defer to a bad strategy just because you cannot execute the proper strategy.

2. The reality is that you DID NOT piss your pants. I told you again and again. PLEASE PLEASE piss in your pants. Please shit your pants. . . literally. Please feint. Please STUTTER. Please sweat. Please hyperventilate. You do none of these things and do no pick up either.

Until you either LITERALLY SHIT YOUR PANTS (a problem we can solve) and until you LITERALLY open your mouth and communicate with a girl, this marks the end of your pick up fantasy. It's over. There's nothing we can do because you are willing to do nothing. There is no magic pill. You either open your mouth and communicate with a girl or you don't. Again. . . the worst things that can happen is that you shit/piss in your pants, hyperventilate and pass out. Then the girl will tell all her friends about some dork who shit his pants literally. She might take some photos of your brown shit. Eventually, strangers might cross your path and laugh at your face because they saw you on youtube. Let me tell you something... even this is a FAAAAR better result than doing nothing. You are living in nothing. You're a ghost, allowing life to go right through you and around you but never touching, feeling, and interacting with it. Do something. Do anything. Just Do.

So I've been to the petrol station three days in a row. I burned the note I had in my pocket that I was going to hand to her as some sort of ceremony to never be a pussy.

Every morning I've been there to grab a coffee, I walked in and the place where she was serving was always empty.

But every time when I go back to my car she appears... So I've just missed her. It's getting to the point where I just wanna stroll back into the station even though I've got my coffee.

In the mean time, I've been running into town to open as much as I can. I'm getting better at using situational openers.

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642

I'm soo ticked off. I'm not sure whether this girl is long gone, but there is a new girl serving at the subway in the morning.
Either she was training her to take over. I might never see her again... And now I'm so ready to open her and complete one simple honest pick-up. NEVER again. Never... will I wait this long. I promise to the Gods looking down upon me.

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642

Day out
So I've not beat the monkey for almost two weeks. And the Friday just gone I felt more dominant and I could maintain EC when I was out in the mall. Not sure if it is a placebo effect, but two weeks into nofap, I've noticed a flatline, paranoia and anxiety quickly come back to me.

Friday, I approached a small asian girl on the information stand in the mall.

My opener was:

Me: Excuse me, I'm kinda lost.

Her: Oh right where do you want to go?

Me: I need directions...
Her: To where,

Me: To your heart. ( I repeated it loud and clear to make sure she heard)

Her: (Looking nervously) but smiling... Sir in that case I can't help you.

At this point I saw she was getting slightly nervous, so I touched her arm and joked, it was just a joke. Turns out she is from pakistan and is getting married soon. We laughed a little and she told me she was from a uni i used to go.

Then today I took the train up to another city. I noticed sometimes I can really be trapped in my head. Like I sat down on the train and a young blonde girl came and sat next to me. I must have freaked her out because half way through she got up and sat in the aisle next to me... There was absolutely no reason to do that, but she told the girls in the other aisle that it was so she could see her station.

I froze and got really paranoid, like I could see all the eyes staring at me and I started getting hot. I still got really bad social anxiety, it's strange sometimes it is high in the sky other times it is not there.

I chose not to let it bother me, I need to try and let it ride or observe it and not react to it. Anyway, cut a long story short I approached in the mall, not the greatest most were indirect bog standard questions, but I wanted to get a line out.

Me: Fancy meeting a girl like you in a place like this?
Her: Haha, what's wrong with a place like this?

Me: Oh nothing, it was just a joke, you're supposed to play along.
Her: haha,

Me: So like... do you sell any trainers.
Her: (seemed keen that someone actually has spoken to her... I think she was interested)

Me: Oh nice trainers, so when does the last train for here leave?
Her: blablah blah.

Me: Um thanks...

Both awkwardly smile, I think she knew I was just approaching. Thing is she wasn't great looking but I didn't have any number closes. I'm still pissing around... I'm still yet to complete one simple and honest pickup.

Things I've noticed... state can fluctuate. It's probably best not to take it personally. The girl who moved, OK maybe I shot her a few side glances to check her out and it was kinda creepy. My eyes dart all over the place. I look guilty.This is my own self punishment. This is a reality... Now I just need to reframe it and move forward. Nofap seems to help. I don't know, maybe it is just that I've been sarging everyday.

It something what I always have to do no matter what. I got a lot to fix.

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642

You've read my posts . . . I am not a fan of "frames". These guys are hosers. There are a lot of "frames" folks in business. The Wallstreet guys talk with you as if they think they are in a football game. Fucking strategy this and fucking strategy that. Kill this and kill that. . . then you go have a drink with them and into the 5th scotch, the "frame" becomes quite different. Hollywood guys are nearly schizophrenic. After a few lines in the boys room, they become Mr. Positive. "Great! Great! Great!" You could tell them that your dog died and they go, "Awesome! Great! Great!" These assholes play their act because it's been taught to them that this is the way to feed themselves and their families. For you. . . the reason for your act is quite different.

Somebody taught you that you suck. . . and somewhere in your timeline, you believed it. You're searching for a 'frame' . . some Mr. Fantastic who will take over for you and sweep ladies off of their feet. That "Frame". . . that "Mr. Fantastic". . .that "Mr. Gigolo" does NOT EXIST. It's a lie. it's ALWAYS been a lie. How do I know? I know this from your writing. Even if you sugarcoated it, I KNOW YOU can interest women. YOU (not some frame) can strike their fancy. You've already accomplished 90% of pick up, over, over, and over again! But you do not dare actually CLOSING because. . . no. . .you're not good enough. . . of course you cannot do this. . . So Goodbye! Who the fuck taught you that you are not good enough? Hey, I am usually pretty chill about everything here but THIS IS REALLY IRRITATING ME. Figure this out. . . then dump it out of your system.

You're close. I see 2 scenarios playing out for you. 1. Somebody will figure you out. She will see your qualities. . . and she will want you for herself. Maybe this will be a good match, maybe not. .. but the point is that she will choose you first. 2 You break out of this vicious cycle and start closing. Close, close, close. Try one night stands. Have a few girlfriends. Try out some crazies. Try out some daddy's girls. Try out worry bugs. Try out nerdy nymphos, etc. . . Then you decide your own future.

Man dude I've read your entire journal in a few short days. I must say that if it wasn't for the progress in your work area and the date in the right hand corner; I wouldn't have known that any significant amount of time has elapsed due to your lack of progression in pick up. Why have you been sitting back and not attempting to close? It's been YEARS, and you're still content with a small approach and a hello. You must take risks!

I'm not going to say I'm the chick magnet of my city, I still experience approach anxiety too. I pussy out too. I miss opportunities too. I later regret not talking to that one girl too. But when I do choose to approach I try and go far. I get some numbers... and I get a LOT if flakes. Does this deter me from approaching a new girl? Some times it does. But eventually you get back out there.

Does a bone decide to forgo repairing itself because it is broken? No it does not. So why should we continue to fool ourselves and not continue pursuing these chicks?

You said you wouldn't post here again until you number closed... and in that year you didn't. Come on brother your just not even trying at this point. I, me the tall, goofy acting, funny walking black guy with zero gym experience (no six pack or muscles) 6'4 235lb formally socially awkward guy number closed. Twice in one week. They were both flakes! But the fact that I stepped out of my comfort zone infiltrated their space and made them (both stories in my journal) laugh and give me their number is one small feat.

You have to go out and try at least man. Kasabi and others can only help us so much. They can't switch bodies with us and get tbe girls it's up to us. Stop being okay with a simple human interaction. A hi and bye is nothing major. These are things you should have tackled during your first few weeks.