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Hey buddy, mind if I give you some advice?
It's good that you're working on these openers, however please note that there is a flaw in this. You're focusing on the opener a lot, and on what to say after the opener, however the key to getting girls is to not care about getting them. To want them, but not care if you get this specific one or not. Once you actually stop caring, you actually also stop caring about the opener. My openers range from "hi i wanted to meet you" to "you look like jack sparrow". It's not like I'm writing these down, I'm just spouting shit. Why am I spouting shit? Because I don't care.
How do you get to this "not caring" point? You cannot fake it. Therefore you have to reach it. How? By an ABUNDANCE of approaches, an ABUNDANCE of interactions. ABC, always be closing, sure, but once you have an abundance of pretty much everything, you think to yourself, if I don't get this chick, the next one might be a good interaction. And if that one doesn't work, then there's another 100.
Once you have this down, you get to the point where you think "It'll happen at some point or another". You're putting in the effort, you're doing everything within your control, and then you just "let it be". Whatever the universe has in store for you will happen. Maybe the next 100 are all shit, or maybe you're on a lucky streak. WHO KNOWS. It doesn't matter.
Develop a love for the GAME, not for the girl. The GAME is hilarious once you actually play it, once you make it your own. But don't do it for the sake of increasing your "batting average", do it beacuse, hell, why not have fun. Why not have fun on the way to the next lay? You have very little control over getting a lay. You can do certain things, like be persistent, go for the pull, go for the number, talk shit, go for the makeout, but she might have a BF, she might be real busy, have a really bad day, or whatever. Over this you have no control. Not even the best opener will do much for you here. Therefore, if you have so little control, why not HAVE FUN? This game can be tough, but only because you make it so. You have to realize there is very little control over the person you're interacting with. All you can do is possibly spike her emotions and get her invested in you. Other than that, who the fuck knows.
So with this mentality of "I'm doing everything that is within my control, so now I'll just let it be and see what happens and have fun on the way to the next success" the opener doesn't matter anymore. Forget getting the best opener, focus on the big picture. The GAME in general. You can work on specifics, sure, but you are putting so much worth on the opener, or on what to say after the opener, that the girl can feel it. get rid of this caring, and truly have fun in the moment.
So in the end, the opener becomes an opener for YOU. If your mentality is what I mentioned above in quotation marks, and your goal is to have FUN along the way, then you will choose an opener where you are AMUSED. Where you have fun. You will not care about the girl's reaction, beacuse all you care about is your own reaction. If you want to have fun there, then the opener and everything after the opener will take care of that. This is why I get away with so much bullshit talk when I speak with girls. I talked to a girl about crosspuking the other day. Her friend said she crosspuked (where two people puke and form a cross with their streams), and I told her friend she and I should cross puke and that it'll be romantic. Was I thinking about "will this spike her emotions?" NO! I thought that shit was hilarious, because it was the beginning of the night and fuck I can't care less anymore about what these chicks think of me. The game is tough as it is, so might as well have fun.
And you get to this mentality, as I said, by a complete ABUNDANCE of interactions. If you were to go out every day, or 5 days a week let's say, and you dedicated yourself, committed yourself to it, and stopped counting approaches and just approached and approached and approached, hell at one point or another, you're gonna get laid. Maybe quite a lot.
And then you AUTOMATICALLY get good on the side because after so many interactions you calibrate yourself. You realize what works and what doesn't. You get REFERENCE EXPERIENCES, as RSD calls it. There guys from RSD are so good because they have done SO MANY approaches. Literally thousands, and they go out 6-7 nights a week, getting more and more and more experience, live experience. Doing trial and error, for real. That is how you truly get good. That is how you will get the great opener. Do trial and error in real life. You will EMOTIONALLY learn the game, because the game will push you from side to side calibrating you as you go. This burns, this works. And it will also force you to truly learn to self amuse. Because at one point the game really becomes bullshit, so much pain so much hurt, by the end you think fuck it, let's have fun. That's how you get the great story. If you are seeking that by then, that is.
Hey buddy, mind if I give you some advice? If you don't care about getting girls, consider staying home. You've reached your level or autonomous approaching through shit volume. You're a low level telemarketer making 1,000 calls a day so you're suggesting to others to reach this level. You are suggesting for others offer shit because most girls will give you shit responses back any way. . . and you know they do (to you). This is bottom of the barrel crap. There is no other area in life where this is the formula for success. It does not work in academia, sports, nor any sectors of professional life. Hell, you definitely won't make many friends navigating your life this way. And for some odd reason, this seems to be a recurring theme in pick up. "Go amuse yourself.". . . "Go tell them any shit you want." . . . I can think of only one instance in life where this type of advice is given; it's when the circus owner tells its chicken head biting circus freak shows to step on stage to give the audience a show. "Go amuse yourself! Do whatever the fuck you want to do. Pull your dick out and piss on the stage. Bend over and stick my cane up your ass. . hahahah you fucking retard! Hahahah! Dance retard! Dance!" - Do you understand that you are doing this on your own without a circus master forcing you to do it?
The idea of "abundance" is to have an "abundance" of positive interactions. . . an "abundance" of strong attraction. . . an "abundance" of girls who even if they shoot you down out of uncontrollable circumstances (they're on the rag, they have a boyfriend, they forgot to shower, etc. . .) they tell themselves and others, "WOW, that guy is hot!" (And if you've been with an "abundance" of women, you'd know that they are not referring to only you're physical appearance)
The term "trial and error" refers to a system of problem solving through repeated attempts through varying methods until you reach your goal. You start off with the BEST METHOD you can come up with now. Then as you make more attempts, you vary your strategy . . .
Trial and error DOES NOT refer to a system of not giving a fuck about results or doing whatever the fuck you want to do. This is the most retarded bullshit in pick up and we see this again, again, and again. And I am getting somewhat sick of this RFB, DRT, PTC, RGB, Kungfu Pick up system morons who have nothing going for them (Guess why?) other than a legion of equally lost followers taking orders to "dance retard, dance".
Writing up 5 openers is NOTHING. Most guys put more effort into figuring out which porn to jack off to on a Monday night. Writing a little cheat sheet is NOTHING. Most guys put more effort into researching their next game on xBox. Caring enough to think about another human being. . . and telling her something that reflects her life and injects just a tiny bit of "happy" into her day is NOTHING. Most guys put more effort into thinking up which toppings to order for their pizza.
Wow Kasabi, thanks for the flame.
Now, let's back up here a little bit and calm ourselves. Firstly, staying at home, as you said, will not get you anywhere. However, my post indicated that he go out, and go out a lot, in order to turn this theory stuff into practice. I'm sorry, but this is the ONLY way to get better. If there is one thing that will get you better at pickup, it is going out and doing it. Not theorizing about it, not writing down openers, but doing it. Guess what, if you go up to a girl and say "hi" that's an opener, you just opened the conversation. Why write shit down BEFORE you do it? Why not write shit down AFTER you do it? Then you do not only have a new opener, but also a reference for that opener. Is one reference enough? Fuck no. If she had a bad day and gave you a shitty response, and you base the "effectiveness" of the opener on that reaction, guess what, you'll be saying "Oh that opener doesn't work!" However if you do it 10 more times and get varied responses, your perception of that opener has now changed.
If you base your idea of abundance on an "abundance of positive interactions" but...oh no!...you get positive AND negative interactions...oh no suddenly you suck! Suddenly you're shit! WTF? No you're not. You have very little control over how a girl responds that basing how good you are on her reaction to something you said is stupid. There are key elements in pickup that can change a girl's emotions, for sure. However theorizing over it but not actually doing it a LOT will not get you very far. A martial artist may have been taught a sequence of moves, however it will only flow beautifully once he has done it a LOT of times.
Dude I'm actually agreeing with a lot of what you are saying. Once you have the skillset and also the mindset, you are an attractive guy to a LOT of girls, ones who have boyfriends, ones who have that special time of the month, or whatever. But to go into an interaction hoping it will go well is a form of neediness. To try and think of the "perfect opener" is a form of neediness. "This girl is sitting by herself in a cafe, what will get the best reaction?" You will never know what will get the best reaction, and it doesn't matter. All that matters is that you go in, and when you go in might as well have fun with it. After the opener you can calibrate anyway, if she's receptive all you might have to do is be a cool dude and not say anything stupid, or you might have to do most of the talking if she's not open at first...who knows? But you will only learn it after you've done it a LOT of times. And by doing it a lot of times you will fuck up a lot. Maybe you didn't fuck up a lot. Maybe you strategized really well after every single interaction that your results went up like crazy, mine didn't. It took me a long time to go from someone who can hardly have a normal conversation with people, to being able to fuck girls I meet in bars, clubs, streets or wherever else. And the way I got there was made MORE difficult for myself by me trying to think of the best this or that and putting an insane amount of value on what I said or what I did.
If you actually tried to understand my post you might have gotten that I said you have to want, but not care if you get the girl. Caring if you get her is neediness. "Oh man, she's so pretty, I have to have her." For a lot of guys this instills fear. Fear of loss, and thus every word that comes out of their mouths is calculated to the point where they think they might fuck up any moment. However if you do it for the sake of bettering yourself and ultimately finding the fun in bettering yourself, the high level of caring is gone. Your aim becomes to better your pickup skill, rather than actually getting the girl. And as you know the end result of a pickup is a lay. So if you are working on bettering your pickup skills, or like I said in my previous post "Develop a love for the GAME, not the girl", you are fine tuning your skills and thus making the lay more efficient. You indirectly become better at seducing girls.
And well if you don't have fun developing your own game, then that sucks for you dude. I have finally found the fun in game, and I see it in my wings as well. They have developed a love for the game, at getting better at the game, and are going out a lot, doing a lot of approaches, so that they can get better at this pickup stuff. That is their goal. It is not to find "the one" or get this specific girl. And their game has improved a lot.
But whatever man, go flame if you want.
CHAT
