| Fairly old story here, but some of you asked me to post the details. Without further ado, here it goes - my friends, I give you the HB9greek Field Report.
I study at a fairly prestigious London university. If I'm not out sarging, odds are I'm studying in the library with my good friend and pivot, HBcoco. I was discussing possible romantic opportunities with her when she pointed out a real hot blonde sitting two rows away. I thought - no way in fuck, that one's way out of my league. This is a story of my ego boost and a crash of the 'out of my league' frame. Since it was a university setting, I knew I could take my time - I would see her around even if I didn't #close straightaway. After the lecture, I got up and before AA kicked in, I moved to A1
[Ace] I must say, I'm very impressed with your ability to stay awake through his lectures.
[HB] (laughs) But I really love mathematical subjects!
[Ace] Let me guess, an investment banker in the making... You so fit in here! Anyways, I got a class now, but...
[HB] (playfully) Shut up, I'm not gonna be an investment banker!
[Ace] Pinkie promise?
She does. All I've done so far is make her remember me, positioning myself for a reopen in another setting. Couple hours later, I go for a smoke outside the library. She's there kicking the shit with two other dudes and an ugly friend.
[Ace] You again! You following me around? I've had stalkers before, it's not all it's cracked up to be...
[HB] Yeah, you wish...
[Ace] Go on, introduce me to your friends, it's the polite thing to do.
She does.
[Ace] How does everyone here know each other?
One of the dudes leaves, the other was someone she'd just met. I mention I think I've seen him around the gym (little DHV), fortunately he goes to the same one as me. Note to self: don't take chances if it doesn't lead you anywhere. I ignore HBgreek, chat with the dude and her friend - both turned out to be real cool people. I tell the gay kittens story and a joke my little niece told me. I get all three of them laughing.
[Ace] Right, I gotta get going, good meeting you guys.
[HB] You going to the library? I'll come with you.
We have some fluff talk, find two computers and sit down next to each other. I mention I have to get to a conference on Zimbabwean development in about an hour.
[HB] That sounds really cool, I'd love to go but I've got a drama class at 6.
[Ace] You do drama? No way, I'm a performing artist myself. When I was a little kid, I had this awesome uncle who was an illusionist. Every christmas and easter when my entire family would get together, I'd sit on his lap and beg him to show me some magic trick. That's when he taught me the two principles of magic: never reveal your tricks to a non-magician and never perform the same trick twice. Then for my 10th birthday he taught me how to make a coin disappear - it was the best birthday present I ever got, and I was into this stuff ever since!
This is my basic identity grounding routine. Before I read up on that shit, I'd just say I'm an illusionist and leave it at that - but sometimes it gives the dodgy idea I'm into magic to get girls. I got called out on that on a few occasions. Always ground your identity.
[Ace] Anyhow, I'm done here. Come join me for a quick coffee and if you're a good girl I'll show you something cool. (pull out a coin) And I promise it's gonna be more exciting than just making a coin disappear (I make the coin vanish, her jaw drops).
[HB] (grabs me by the arm) How did you do that!
[Ace] Whoa, hands off the merchandise love, this shit ain't for free!
[HB] Yes, but I'm greek, we're a very tactile people.
[Ace] What, like when you want something from a guy? That's not just greek women sweetie, I see right through you. Come on, I only have 20 minutes.
We go outside and grab a coffee. For the first time I notice she's incredibly well dressed - she has a cool bag from a designer I've never even heard of before, and when I take her watch to stop the time I notice a little crown logo on it. If that's a genuine Rolex and I break it, I'll have to sell my soul to the devil to pay her back. I do another grounding routine.
[Ace] You know, a week after I learned this tricks my brother had his birthday. Me and my parents decided to buy him a watch, and I went to the shop to pick one. I find a watch I really like and ask the clerk if he's ever seen somebody stop a watch with their mind. A little crowd of people gathers around; the secods hand stops to move and everybody gasps in awe; but then I try to make it move and it doesn't work! I almost shat a brick, I thought I had broken it, and it was a real expensive one. The longest 20 minutes of my life go by, and it turns out the battery ran out at the same time I was doing the trick - what are the odds of that, huh?
[HB] Everything happens for a reason, I really believe in karma.
[Ace] My good friend is exactly like that. She says sometimes you meet a stranger, and it's like you feel an instant connection with him (point to self) and you know it can't be explained by chance. And you get really excited to see where that new person is going to take you. (notice the SHE-YOU shift. I should have made that NLP routine longer, but I'm crap at hypnospeak. Another area for improvement)
I excuse myself and leave for the conference. A2 is going well, but I don't quite have her yeat.
------ DAY 2 ------
Nothing much happened over the next couple days. I was real busy, and while I did see her around in the library, our conversations were reduced to one-liners. I still tried being cocky funny, got as much kino as I could (hug and a mandatory kiss on the cheek for both hello and goodbye - it was kinda funny when the hello and goodbye were no more than 30 seconds apart, we both laughed). I decided to do something about it.
[Ace] Hey, listen, I'm quite busy this week, but tell me your plans.
[HB] I'm having a bunch of friends round tonight for a party...
[Ace] WHAT!? You're throwing a party and you don't invite me? (playful) I'm soooo not talking to you anymore! (turn around, walk off. She chases me - cat-string in action.)
[HB] (grabs me by the arm) seriously, you're more than welcome to join us.
[Ace] Well, I promised my SPAM I'd take him rock-climbing today... I should be done by 9 though. Give me your number and I'll give you a call if I'm not too tired.
#close. She tells me she lives in Knightsbridge - for non-Londoners, it's the most expensive district of the most expensive city in the world. Her watch really was worth more than everything I own added up.
The apartment turned out to be even more glamorous than I'd expected. I told myself 'pretend you're not impressed, remember, you hang out in places like that all the time'. Most her friends were investment-banker wannabes discussing internship opportunities and interview strategies. Every last one of them brought a girlfriend. As soon as HBgreek introduced me as an illusionist, I became the life of the party for the women. The dudes hated it.
I turned napkins into banknotes, vanished coins, put a signed 10pence inside a sealed can of coke and stopped another watch. I built up my magic routines to a point of near-excellence, and it was finally paying off. I was now that guy - the center of attention, not the approval seeker, but the one whose approval everyone was after. The longest A2 of my life was finally over. It was time for her to prove herself to me.
I took her by the hand to her room. We had a smoke and somehow the conversation meandered onto tatoos. As it turned out, she had an infinity symbol tatooed on her back. She explained what it represented (I'm not gonna bore you with details) and after about five minutes burst out with:
[HB] Do you wanna see it?
[Ace] Erm... Sure? (HB8 turns around, lifts up her skirt exposing really nice legs, really nice underwear that left little to the imagination as far as her ass was concerned, and, last but not least, the infamous tatoo)
[Ace - really thrown off-balance] Uhm... Very nice...
[HB] My ass or the tatoo?
[Ace - desperately attempting to recover] Ugh... both I guess...
Spectacular failure here, but the first situation of the sort I'd found myself in. HOW WOULD YOU GUYS HAVE HANDLED THAT?
Once her guests left, the two of us, her SPAM and some dude decided to watch a movie. HB and I sit on a sofa, the other two fall asleep almost instantly. I slowly reach for her hand. Squeeze. She squeezes back. [Not that I needed IOIs at that stage - I guess I was on autopilot.] My second hand goes around her shoulder. I sniff her hair. She smiles. We cuddle up, and as soon as the film is over she gets up and goes straight to her bedroom. I follow. Is this S1? Wasn't I supposed to be in comfort? Ahh, who cares!
[HB] Listen, if you're gonna sleep here you have to promise to be a nice guy. (SHIT TEST ALERT!)
[Ace - cheeky smile] Would you like to kiss me?
HB goes right for it. We undress, slowly and I can hardly wait for her to take me on the wildest night of my life. My little celebration of frame-crashing.
I did a little push-pull in the bed. I'd turn around and say goodnight, only to have her kissing my neck within the next minute.
[HB] Stop... I really don't want to tell you this, but I have an infection... If you keep on doing that, I'll get so aroused I'll just have to fuck you, but I really shouldn't because I know I'll be in serious pain tomorrow if I do.
I kiss her playfully, throw her off me and say goodnight. FUCK.
Alright, alright, I did end up getting a blowjob - couldn't help but share that. Technically not an f-close - a bj-close, perhaps?
When I left in the morning, I left my Ace of Spades necklace with her until she'd see me again - 'It's something to remember last night by. But I want it back the next time I see you'
Comments please - especially on that ass-exposure situation, I've no clue what the fuck I should have done. I'm glad it didn't mess up the sarge though.
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