i would like to entitle this report: fuck me.

I went down with some buddies to a show in chicago tonight and decided to open a few girls for practice. My first target was a hb9 standing for the washroom. I was ahead of her and she was directly behind me....so i turned around and made eye contact noting her friendly smile back and looking down confused. She was wearing some wierd ass pink gloves with holes cut out for fingers. Being a hb9 i decided to open with a neg (I had a few drinks in me...big mistake number 1, U think its going to loosen you up...which is does but you cant think straight and sometimes it will kick you in the fuckin ass) Conversation goes like this:

pun(pick up noob): nice gloves where did you get them?

hb9: blah blah some gay store name inserted here

pun: oh the reason i ask is becuase my grandma has the same kind of gloves...but there not cut off like yours...its ok though they still look cute.

hb9: smiles* laughs* touches my arm*

this is when my dueshbag drunk ass friend comes in...he was going around filming everyone and decided to interupt my target shoving the cam in his face...i disassociated him with myself by turning around hoping there was another target to open becuase im not going to call out my friend and let her know i was with him, figured big dlv and i just turned around and read up on a newpaper. she rejected him andcame back up to me, i turned around and said something like

"oh...your still here kind of rolling my eyes and smiling"

hb9: yea and im coming in the washroom with you.

pun: haha i dont even know you and your coming in the washrrom with me? ok fine but this isnt going to be a reoccuring thing.

hb9: walks in and tells me to go piss.

pun: (I see this as a hoop to jump through since it was a command) Im not going to piss first, look at you bossing me around already. You go.

she goes to piss im in the middle of a fuckin story shes done turns facing me about 7 feet away(big washroom) vagina facing me. I fuckin went blank for a second and cuaght my words continuing like it was nothing.

i went to take a piss, she stayed put. talked for about 1 min and then i ejected...in know fuckin sad but this is a huge sticking point for me.

She finds me later...show is going on, i couldnt get a conversation going. But i refused to lean in...she would always lean while i was talking. Since the convo was going no where and we could barely hear each other i knew i was dying becuase when she came up she was very touchy, then my dumbass says something like hands off the merchandise...which was completely uncalled for...realizing this after i said it...i was like fuckkkkkk meeeeee. I ejected tuirning to a near by friend and locking her out of the set. I figured i would get another chance in about 15 min or so when it quited down...but i was wrong. my love was gone.

opened two other sets successfully when i sobered up about a hour and a half later...

do not fuckin drink and pick up chicks....your loose but your mind isnt there and you cant think on your toes...i was scrambling for material even thouggh i have enough to talk for 20 min strait no problem.

again sorry for the long post, fuck me with the half naked chick in the washroom...but she was 7 feet away(big washroom)...im like hmm if i go up there it might come off as creepy.

suggestions for next time? Pointers? What the fuck to do when your in this situation? sticking point with the k-c and f-c. i know it was too much on the negs and i should have bounced to where it was quiet becuase attraction was there. I was not in phase 3 though becuase i tried the push pull and didnt take. So pissed but i learned from this at least. Usually shit works out better than it did today.

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you heard me right the first time