Hi everyone!

Yup. Another journal
So let's keep the intro short!

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Background
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I've studied pickup years ago (David D'Angelo) with good results. But after and 8 year LTR I totally forgot about it. Life kinda just went on.

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Situation
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I focused too much on work. Especially this last year. My love life paid the price. There were three women this year. Quite beautiful, the Sex was awesome, but I got hyper-needy and ruined each of those relationships.

This made me realize that something was off and I got into pickup again.

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Reason
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So here I am. Why this journal? At the moment it's too easy for my ego to find reasons not to get out there. It feels like I'm sabotaging myself with this. I feel like I'm starting all over again. Which actually feels exciting! So to hold myself accountable I start this journal.

Also I'd love some feedback from the pros!

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Goals
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1. Confidence
I'd like to be able to approach a hot girl without freaking out. Approaching an Opening is my problem here. I simply don't do it anymore. I can get smiles and greetings, but I just never really approach.

2. Sex & Intimacy
Well, I guess this is a no-brainer. I don't need something like "sleep with 100 women this year", but my current love-life is just unacceptable.

3. Future GF
I'd like to find a new long term GF eventually.

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Challenges
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1. Job
I work at the computer all day. Physically I'm in excellent shape (Fitness, Gymnastics, Martial Arts) but the computer-work always sets my mind in some kind of "logical state".
This makes it super tough for me to talk to anyone. I remember this being very different before I started this job. So I need to make an effort every day to get from a "logical state" into a "social state" to make pickup even possible.

2. Accepting Age
This sounds so dumb, but I'm losing my hair and it drains a bit of my confidence. This is so crazy since I'm healthy, got an athletic body, dress well ect. yet my mind just focuses on this one problem from time to time. I guess the mind just likes problems.

So yeah. Both these challenges are inner game related.

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Plan
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Currently I have two main places to go sarging: The City & the Gym.
My current plan is to use my 2-hour lunch break to get into a "social state" by doing the following:

Step 1:
Walk around the City and practice Eyecontact + saying "Hi" (to anyone really)

Step 2:
add: notice/look for things about people I could give compliments on

Step 3:
add: say those compliments to people and keep walking

Step 4:
add: if I feel a certain friendliness in response, start a conversation

Step 5:
add: only approach girls this way

And in the evening keep doing this (+ pickup) at the gym + on my way home + on the weekends.



Yup! I think that's it!

I'd be happy for any kind of advice along the way!
Looking forward to this journey

Soul

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Field Report #1
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Alright, so the plan was set, I slept well and the the sun was shining.
Needless to say I was stoked and ready to hit the city with a good energy.


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The City (lunchtime)
Goal: Get from "logical state" into "social state"
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So lunchtime comes around.
I just start walking.
Feeling good. Feeling strong.

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Dog-Girl
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Before I even reach the city I see this cute girl (maybe a bit too young) with a dog standing around.
What a cool opportunity. Make a compliment about the dog, say "Hi" and see what happens. Easy!

I walk up to her and... keep walking.

The fuck!?
I remember my mind going "Nah, she's too young/You haven't reached the city yet" for some reason.
But that should have been no problem.
Remember: I just wanted to get into state.

Danm! That darkened my mood a bit.
In Hindsight I think this was an important moment.

I gave my mind some "wiggleroom", (not in the city yet) which it used as an excuse not to approach.

I remember that Adam from "The Bowl" (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAPZwf ... ZiFHorTxHA) said he doesn't give himself any leeway at all. For this very reason. As soon as he's out the door he starts approaching to get into state.
No wiggleroom, no leeway.
Just approach anyone you encounter.
Give genuine compliments.
Create good Moments. Enjoy the path.

I like this mindset.
Next time I'll hit the city I'll keep this in mind.

The rest of my first city-adventure was... decent. I got some smiles + eyecontact from some Girls and talked a little bit with people. Not as much as I would have liked to, but that's okay. I went out there. I was not hiding in my room.


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The Gym (afternoon)
Goal: Approaching & Pickup
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Even if my first City-Adventure was only decent, I noticed a little change when I entered the Gym.
I was much more in a "social state" than usually. So this City-Warmup seems to be working for me.

I'm greeted by a lot of guys, have some good conversations and immediately get some good eyecontact + smiles from some girls. Nice.

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Onion-Girl
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After a while I notice a certain Girl is also around.
Let's call her Onion-Girl.
Because she has an Ass like an Onion - makes me wanna cry

Haven't talked to her yet. Just eyecontact + smiles + "Hi" so far.
Anyway, I make the decision to approach. But then notice that she's just leaving.
Damn. Even though I get another smile + "Hi" from her, I feel my mood darkening.

So I start training alone.
Feeling my mindset going bad.

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Stop giving a Fuck
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A moment later this Trainer comes along.
He doing all the group-courses like body-fit, step-aerobic and so on.
Interesting about these courses is, that there are only girls.
The workout is great, but all the guys in the gym seem to be "too cool" to join.

So just girls.

Today is Zumba. (Some Fitness + Dance Mix)
Definitely a course more women-oriented. Lots of sexy-ish dance moves.

So this Trainer walks up to me as says jokingly "Yo SoulSoy, the Girls want you to join the Session!"
(Which I found out later, they actually asked for. Thats a very good sign I guess!)

I reply "Haha, yeah, sure, lol!"

But then I think "Hey, why the fuck not?!".
This is exactly what you need.
Stupid ego always wants to be perfect and cool and epic.
You know what? Let's practice "Not-Giving-a-Fuck" for an hour!

So I smile and walk into the first Zumba lesson of my life.
(Upon entering the room I hear one of the Girls say "Woah, he's really coming!")

Unfortunately the really hot Girls are missing this session.
But whatever! I dont care!

So I dance my fucking ass of!
Sexy as fuck!
Like a beautiful heavyweight ballerina!

Not a single fuck was given in that hour and hell, I enjoyed it!
Lot's of giggles (and genuine compliments) from the girls.
I laugh with them. Give compliments & High Fives. Ask and get all the Names.
That felt good! Even if there where no super hot girls around.

Anyway, that really turned my day around!
Kill your ego and just be. This shit really seem to work.

Looking forward to the next day!

Cheers!
Soul

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Field Report #2 - Universe-Facepalm
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Man, I sit here feeling so powerless and lost.
So get this:

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The Univere-Facepalm
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I once read a story about a man who was described by his peers as an "inverse paranoid".

He refused to believe that the Universe always works against him. That he has to overcome or endure. Instead he chose to believe that the Universe is always at work to do him good. That everything that happens contains the opportunity for improvement.

I feel like my Universe is doing a MASSIVE Facepalm at the moment.

Here's why...

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The City (lunchtime)
Goal: Get from "logical state" into "social state"
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So again I go to the city.
I literally see no cute girls.
I enter a bookstore.
Cute girls and books, eh?
But no girl there.

So I stand there, look up and think "Oh come on! I'm here! I want to learn this! Just give me a chance!"

Immidiately two good looking girls enter.

My mind goes crazy.
I don't approach.

Universe-Facepalm!

So I move on to some cafe.

Disappointed I start browsing these Forums.
I see the thread "How to approach a girl that is reading?" and start reading.

Literally two minutes later a cute girl walks into the cafe, sits down at the table next to mine and starts reading.

My mind goes crazy.
I don't approach.

Universe-Facepalm!

I feel like shit and go home.

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The Gym (afternoon)
Goal: Approaching & Pickup
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In the afternoon I hit the gym.
Talk to some guys, do my workout and start to feel a bit better. So I think about pickup.

No girls in sight.

Again I start complaining ("come on, give me a chance... blablabla...").
Five minutes later a hot girl starts doing her workout next to me.

My mind goes crazy.
I don't approach.

Universe-Facepalm!

Seeing a pattern here?

I do.

I shall name it:
"SoulSoys phenomenal Universe-Facepalm Pattern."

It's funny, really.
All those opportunities.
And none of them taken because of imaginary fears and ego-attachment. Man, this needs to change.

Tomorrow is Sunday.
So lot's of time.
Time for a suicide mission.

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The Sunday Suicide-Mission
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So here is what I will do:

1. I'll get up and leave the house early.
2. I don't come back until I have approached at least five girls. If I can't do this until nightfall I'll fucking sleep outside.
3. The expected outcome of each approach is to get rejected. That's okay. I don't care as long as I approach.

So!
There we have it.
Set in (digital) stone for everyone to see!

Wish me luck.

Or better yet:
Wish my Universe a No-Facepalm-Day.

Cheers!
Soul

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Field Report #3 - Sunday Suicide Mission
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So first off I can proudly say:
"Sunday Suicide Mission accomplished!"

Reminder:
The goal was to leave the house and not come back until I had approached at least 5 Girls. Without worrying about the outcome.

It took me about 3 to 4 hours.
That's quite a while for five approaches.
But it's a start and I'm happy.
Also: each approach (missed or taken) gave me some valuable insight.

So let's jump right into it!

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The City (lunchtime)
Goal: Approach five Girls today
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I start the day with a breakfast at a small cafe.
It's packed. So that's good for my goal.
I order, sit down and scan the place for game.

Not too many Girls around. Kinda sucks. But this time I'm not complaining. This time I trust that the Universe is (once again) sending some opportunities my way. So I chill and eat breakfast.

Seeing no point to stay longer I get up to pay after a while.

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Opportunity 1: Cake-Girl
Approached? No
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So I'm waiting to pay. Behind the counter are sweet cakes on display. Suddenly a cute Girl stands next to me and looks at each of them.

The evening before I read an Opener about exactly this situation.
It was something like: "Wow, you have such an intense facial expression, staring at those cakes."

Simple and kinda fun.

Now before I can make my approach the following thing happens:
English is not the native language in my country. And you probably know that when you translate a phrase word by word the result can sound a bit "odd" in your language.

This happend to the mentioned Opener.
And suddenly the moment was gone.

Possible Improvement
Just approach anyway.
Some other openers that came to mind later:
1. "If you continue staring at the cake like this, it will get scared."
2. "Don't stare at the cake like this. We agreed that it's mine!"
3. "So this is how we meet again at the cake-counter..."
4. "Alright. Just like we've planed it. I'll distract them, you get the cake. The we run. Then we eat."

Insight:
This "language barrier" is a problem. It costed me those extremely crucial first seconds. Solution: I need to keep my mind in my native language while approaching.


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Opportunity 2: YogaFu-Girl/Woman
Approached? Yes
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I move on and take a shortcut through a park. The weather is great.
There seems to be some fitness course going on, so I walk closer to take a look at it. Seems to be some strange Yoga + KungFu mix.

I notice a Girl from afar that looks quite promising. Not sure about her age from the distance, but the decision was made. She turns around during a break and throws a quick greeting at me. I greet back. A few minutes later the course ends. I just start walking and approach.

Coming closer I notice that she's about 45 years old.
Bummer. But it's okay. I do some smalltalk and then GG out.

Possible Improvement
None really. Maybe look closer next time

Insight:
One thing I noticed very clearly this time was this "first impulse" to approach: While she greeted me during the break I felt it. It was something semi-concious. Just an impulse that said "Now! Go!". I didn't. I only took the second chance I got. I'll try to act on this first impulse next time.

Anyway. One approach completed


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The Gym (afternoon)
Goal: Approach five Girls today
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So after some walking I hit the gym.
Greeting some people. Feeling good.

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Opportunity 3: Bored/Bitchy looking Cutie
Approached? Yes
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While greeting everyone I notice a cute girl (HB I hadn't seen before.

She walks past me and I smile at her.
She keeps that bored/bitchy face up.
Wow, I hate that. But I don't care.
I'll do my workout and talk to people.

Later I just go for it and approach her at one of the machines.

Me: "Hey, how much more time do you need here?" (smile + eye contact)
She: "I can stop now." (bored/bitchy-face crumbling)
Me: "Nah, it's cool. Do your thing." (smile)
She: "Okay just two more sets." (bored/bitchy-face breaks. She smiles at me. I notice that she's probably not bitchy, but extremely shy and possibly much younger than I would have guessed.)
Me: "Sure. Have fun."

Possible Improvement
In hindsight she really seemed super shy instead of bitchy. If that's the case I think a genuine compliment about her smile would have been good.

Insight
Overall not much of an approach. But it felt extremely valuable because I could get past her guard with my smile and body language. I could get her to smile at me. Also something to remember: bitchyness could be shyness in disguise.


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Opportunity 4: Bowling-Girl (HB7.5)
Approached? Yes + Facebook-Close
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Wohoooo! A first close.
Even if it's just Facebook.

I had talked to her before briefly, knew her name and had teased her about her going bowling a lot when she was younger.

At some point in today's conversation I called her "Bowling-Champ".
She was impressed that I remembered. She was also constantly smiling at me. Guess that's good.

Here's some of the conversation.

Me: "Hey NAME, how was the course?" (smile)
She: "Great. Why couldn't you make it?" (smile)

(some short smalltalk)

Me: "Man, you look so happy today. Why is that?" (genuine compliment)
She: (beaming) "Wow, thanks! I was dancing the whole night in this club."
Me: "Oh, so you're a crazy party girl!" (smile)
She: "Yeah, sometimes." (smile)

At this point I notice her stunning summer dress and feel an impulse to make a genuine compliment on it. I didn't do it. Not sure why.

Me: "You left the course early again. You're such a rebel."
She: "No, it's just I'm going to a Salsa lesson now."
Me: "Oh, nice. Here in the city? I was thinking about trying sth like that."
She: "Oh yeah! You should come! Just come along right now?"

I decline that, but take the chance to ask for her Facebook.

After that we talk for a while longer. Great energy. She introduces me to the Salsa trainer, I tease her a bit and give her a high five at the end. A hug would have been much better, but that's probably not such a great idea in the gym. Being sweaty and all.

Possible Improvement
Probably a lot. Could have done more kino and turned up the heat a little. Also I should have shown my intention more clearly (a compliment on her summer dress could have been the intro to this)

Insight
Girls are fun and like to be talked to.


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Opportunity 5: Lonely Fatty
Approached? Yes
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Not much here. She seemed lonely, I approached.
Nice talk and then I GG'd out.


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Opportunity 6: Stunning HB9.5 Blondie
Approached? Yes
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Boy, suddenly this crazy hot chick walks in. Blond, super hot body, cute face. Damn! I'm feeling good so I catch her eye and give her a quick wave + smile. She gives me a broad smile back.

Later I approach her.

Me: "Damn, you look happy today. Good day?" (smile)
She: "That was ironic, right?" (smile)
Me: "No absolutely not. I genuinely mean it. Why?"
She: "Oh my day wasn't so good. But good that I still look happy." (smile)

We talk and I tease her a bit. I also ask her name + handshake. Energy was good and so was body language and eye contact.

She: "How old are you?"
Me: "Make a guess."

She guesses wrong three times after which I just tell her.

I think I could have done better here but couldn't think of something.
She wants me to guess her age and I guess right at the first try. She's 24. Heew. I want that girl.

Possible Improvement
Unfortunately I didn't go for more. I think I could have asked for a number. Especially when I caught her again later at the lockers. Isolated. Too bad really.

But hey it's cool. I approached an extremely hot HB9.5

Insight
She's hot. I want her


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Wrapping up the Day
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Feeling good.
Not much more to say really
Still a long way to go. But it's cool.


Cheers!
Soul

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Field Report #4 - Rejection and Persistence
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Alright!
Another day, another game!

At work I felt my mind being pulled into "logical state" again:
Solving programming-bugs, talking to nobody, only interacting via mouse and keyboard...

I think I'm slowly beginning to hate that state.

I never really noticed it's downsides before.
Talking, Eye Contact, Body Language... the computer simply doesn't care about any of those.

Especially not using my own voice hits me hard.

So today I did something different before I went to the City:
I went home and just started talking.
Warming up my voice.
In my native language.
Practicing imaginary approaches.
Like an actor behind the stage.

And it worked!
And after 15 Minutes of this, I was starting to feel my voice with confidence.

I think I will implement this into my daily routine from now on.



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The City (lunchtime)
Goal: Get from "logical state" into "social state"
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So I hit the city with good energy.

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Greenpeace Girl
Result: Approached -> Talk, Tease, Kino -> instant-date-close -> rejected
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Almost immediately I notice a cute girl (probably HB 7) standing around. I can only see her from behind and make the decision to approach.

She turns, I catch her eye and smile at her.
She gives me a broad smile back.

I notice however that she seems to be part of a greenpeace-group trying to get donations from people.

Bummer.

But I take it in a playful way:
I jump left and right, imitating a football-player who tries to dodge an opponent. She laughs and joins the playful dodging.

Once I reach her I immediately go into Kino.
Handshake + slightly pushing her.
Good eye contact and smiles.
It's definitely on.

We start talking.
I sprinkle some DHV + Kino in, but let her talk most of the time.
She travels a lot, which gets me genuinely interested.

The energy is great and she totally forgets that she's supposed to get me to donate stuff.

After a while I notice that it's time for some kind of close.
So I aim for an instant-date and ask her for a coffee.

She agrees.

But then seems to hesitate a little and changes her "Cool, let's go now!" to "Okay, let's go in 30 minutes".


Possible Improvement:
At this point I make two mistakes:

1. I agree to her rules.
So I'll have to wait 30 minutes for her. That's bad. It also gives her time to go back into work-mode and reconsider completely. Double bad!

2. I let the energy slip.
The high energy conversation drops a little and she remembers the donations she's supposed to collect. So she asks me if she can talk to me about that.

What I should have done here:

Option A)
Brush it away playfully:
"Oh no, NAME, don't ruin the Disney Magic between us!"

Option B)
Refuse by showing genuine intent:
"No, thanks. To be honest I did not stop for this. I stopped because of you..."

What I unfortunately did instead:

I agree.

Bad mistake! This makes me a regular customer.

So I listen to the sales-pitch and in the end decline the donation.
It's good that I declined (no needieness here) but it ends the conversation in a bad way for both of us.

So I leave, run some errands and come back in 30 minutes.
As expected she's back into full work-mode, has reconsidered and gives me a rejection.

The good thing:
I don't really care. So no needieness.

The bad thing:
I think I could have changed her mind by showing a little persistence here. Instead I just go "Sure, no problem. Have a nice day."

Insight:
Persistence was a new topic for me.
I'll try to keep that in mind on my next approach.

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The Gym (afternoon)
Goal: Approaching & Pickup
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I visit a new martial arts course instead of hitting the gym.
No girls there. So no approaches.

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Wrapping up the day
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Overall I feel like I've grown today.
I did a very solid approach, was unaffected by the rejection and noticed my mistakes later. That's good I guess

Wish you all a nice day!

Cheers,
SoulSoy

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Field Report #5 - Online Game
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Strange Day. Really Strange.
So let's just get this over with.


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The City (lunchtime)
Goal: Get from "logical state" into "social state"
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I did my vocal-warmup at home. Feeling quite good.
But when I hit the City I just couldn't approach.
I didn't beat myself up over it, but it still wasn't what I expected of myself.

I felt good and had some openers ready.
But I just couldn't. Damn.

Possible Improvement:
Well... just approach I guess.

Insight:
It seems to me that at this stage I'm doing better with a concrete goal in front of me.
For Example:
"Hit the City and don't leave until you've approached 3 Girls."

Also I think a Wing would help.
So at the moment I'm thinking about reaching out to the community in closest bigger City.


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The Gym (afternoon)
Goal: Approaching & Pickup
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I don't really feel like it, but I still go to the Gym.
Thats good.

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Onion-Girl - (HB 8.5)
Result: Approached - Name - Handshake
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The Girl with the amazing ass is back. She looks kinda lonely.
Even though this does not seem to be my day, I force myself to finally approach her.
I'm kinda proud of that
(Up until now I just got smiles + "Hi")

We talk about dancing (she's actually a ballet-dancer, damn!) and traveling.
I learn that she will leave the City to go abroad in one month. I also get her Name and shake her hand.

My Eye-Contact is strong.
She seems a bit shy and struggles to keep Eye-Contact.
Not sure if that's good. But my 50% of the conversation are strong. Nice.

Possible Improvement:
Just a thought: She's leaving the City in a month or so.
Actually a good chance, right?
Not sure if I should push for it.
I think so.
I mean, what do I have to loose, right?

Insight:
Nothing really.
Could have gone for more I guess.
I think I should keep the ABC of Pickup more in mind:
Always be closing.

A funny Sidenote:
I talked to one cool guy at the gym about my troubles with talking to beautiful women. While I talk to this Girl I see him walking by behind her, giving me the thumbs-up Kinda funny. Seems to be a really nice guy.


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Bowling-Girl - (HB 7.5)
Result: Approached - Online-Game
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I approach her, give her a high5, we talk, she smiles.
Acceptable, but no real progress here. I got her Facebook already and will meet her on Sunday for a Salsa lesson. All good so far I think.

Later I contact her via Facebook and I think I did well.

Me: "Alright, NAME, it's time... !"
Her: "Time for what, SoulSoy?"
Me: "Finally the time has come!!!"
Her: ":D To start the discussion about ass-staring?" (I had accused her about staring at my ass. She played along)
Me: "No! I won this discussion already. You did stare again today! And I could swear you did a little touching, too -.- This has to stop!"
Her: "Haha, oh you wish Be honest: You like that!"
Me: "You got me! Still, I'd propose that we wear new (ass-protecting) Training-Clothes from now on."
Her: "Hah, thought so! And what kind of clothes will that be? I find my clothes quite fitting. "
Me: "No! Yours are NOT helping with the ass-staring-problem! I'd propose one of the following: a) a Raincoat, b) a Pikatchu-Costume, c) nothing
Her: "Since I don't have the first two options (she has no raincoat?? ) I guess I'll have to go with c But do you really think that helps? "
Me: "No. But I will enjoy it. "
Her: "But then you wont be able to focus on training. "
Me: "True. But neither would you."
Her: "Probably not. But I think I'll be alright with that. "
Me: "Yeah, I mean... we don't always have to Train!"
Me: "Instead..."
Me: "...we can..."
Me: "...do..."
Me: "...what I did yesterday..."
Me: "...secretly:"
Me: "We break into the local Swimmingpool! Just us two! In our "new Training-Clothes"."
Her: "Sounds good! But wait, you really did break in there? "
(I didn't. But know a way in at night. I'll try to get her there)
Me: "I did. Just because I'll leave the City in a few months (time-pressure) doesn't mean I will stop going on adventures.

It was fun. But at night the water is quite chilly. But that shouldn't be a problem once were there together in our new Training-Clothes."
She: "Hope you enjoyed it Why are you leaving the city? ...Uhm, you got some interesting fantasies... (writes longer text)"

And so on.

We both go to bed and I keep it going but can't advance to the next (heat-)level.
But I guess that's okay. I think I'll play it a bit slower with this one.

Also: I'm still learning. So I wont complain.

Possible Improvement:
Probably try to turn up the heat at some point. Maybe transition into real sexual questions.

Insight:
Overall I'm pretty happy with my online-game here. Normally I would ask all kinds of normal/boring questions. This time I kept it light and fun and a bit sexy. That works so much better!


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Wrapping up the day
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The online-game felt really good.
I also like how I can see some kind of network with some cute girls forming.
Although I'm not even close to any lays I think I'm getting somewhere

Well, that's it for the day!
Cheers,
SoulSoy

oh god...dude... why all this mental masterbation.

*look good ( assuming you are though from your posts)
*talk to girls.

She's either in or out. Stop focusing and micro-scanning everything. You are literally hanging onto her every words here

Hehe, damn, you're probably right. I guess I'm kinda making things more complicated than they really are.
Alright. Let's go!