This isn't my first infield journal. In fact, I've been around game and on the forum since 2010. I came a long way since my introduction to the game, and I've done well. I progressed from a hateful little 17 year old shit back in 2010 to a mature, goal oriented go getter. But I decided to stop gaming over a year ago to be in a relationship with whom I thought I would spend the rest of my life. I thought my transformation from loser to lover was complete. Boy was I wrong. I had several issues with myself I didn't even know I had (that I will go into further detail about later on) that caused me to lose the first girl I legitimately loved.

After that I spiraled into self loathing and depression. I had an easy but monotonous, soul sucking job and no goals or self esteem, so I let myself go. That is until a couple of months ago when I decided enough was enough. Every time I looked in the mirror I saw the shell of a man who once had huge dreams and loads of potential. Even when I would go out with my friends (that dwindled from 11 to 2 in a few months), I retracted back into my old shell, lost all my self confidence, my joy, my sense of humor, all the progress I had made over the years.

But even still, once in a while I caught a glimpse of my old self. Something would happen in me and I would come alive, ignighting the crowd I was in with laughter and interesting conversation. And then I would see how I could be if I would only take it upon myself once again to improve myself and my life. It brought me to my knees on many occasions, knowing that I had the potential for so much more than I was, I became bored, angry at myself, and determined I could get myself together again and live the life of my dreams.

I quit my job, took all my savings and moved. I took with me only what I could fit in my car and drove until I found a city that I liked and that I could practice game again. That city was Austin TX.

So here I am again, starting from the bottom, pushing myself in the gym, in the streets and in the clubs, with one thing on my mind, becoming a highly successful, socially adept, interesting, fun, witty, affluent HB10 living on my own terms. This journal is my story part 2.

I hope you all enjoy following my progress.

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In order to get something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done.

Your game should always be in consistent development. It never stops.

You either keep going moving down the road of self improvement and learning. Or you take your foot off the gas, turn a blind eye and in just a few moments you wake up on the sidewalk after crashing into a tree. There are many pitfalls on the way that will take you out and keep you down if you let them, it's the guys that learn from these experiences and get back on the road regardless, having gained new insight and wisdom to help them on their way that become great.

The truth is, most guys drop off within months and never even get past the first hurdle. Consistency doesn't seem to be a word in most guys vocabulary. A lot of guys don't understand this, but game is a lifestyle that needs to be maintained and you constantly have to set yourself new goals and consistently better yourself. There are levels to this shit.

Congrats on starting the thread.

I respect the ambition man.

Like Napoleon hill said ,“Remember,too,that all who succeed in life get off to a bad start,and pass through many heartbreaking struggles before they "arrive". The turning point in the lives of those who succeed usually comes at some moment of crisis,through which they are introduced to their "other selves"

Sometimes you have to go through dark periods in order to grow and improve as a person.

I'm looking forward to your posts

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http://tdiallo32.wix.com/parislifeattraction

PM me for an 8 week SPAM coaching program that will boost your game

The past few weeks I've been hammering it hard. I've been going out to daygame nearly every single day, been going out 4-5 nights a week, and blowing up Tinder for good measure. When I arrived in Dallas about a month ago the first thing I did was go to a club. It had been 6+ months since I had seen the inside of a club and the sheer number of beautiful women was paralyzing. I felt a tremendous amount of anxiety and withdrew completely into my head. I only talked to one guy that night before I left, feeling if I stayed there any longer I was going to lose it.

But thank God things have changed. After about a week I was much more comfortable. I could open sets (finally no more shaking, sweaty hands) and could have good conversations. The third night out I started to feel like myself a little and even got a number close.

The fourth night (Cinco de Mayo) I was determined I would get laid. I hadn't been laid in months and I decided it was time, and now that i was finally out of my shell, I could. So I went out and talked to 25-30 girls that night, trying a bunch of different shit, but I was in such a militaristic mindset like "I'm here for a mission, get laid. Get laid. Get laid," that I had zero fun and I watched as the "average" looking dudes were making out with girls all around me. What the fuck? I thought, as all my sets burnt out after 10 seconds. I was opening fine, I was being funny, but the girls could tell I was in my head and not having a good time, so they would leave. Only four of my sets lasted longer than five minutes that night and I left, completely dejected. My entire life I had been under the illusion, even when my game was bad, that I could have any girl I wanted because that's what my mommy always told me growing up. My reality shattered before my eyes when I finally understood my place in the dating world.

The next day I was morbidly depressed. I was super awkward, the least confident I had ever been, and had absolutely no energy. I felt like I didn't even know who I was anymore. But then I watched a few videos by RSDTyler and understood what was going on. I had just succeeded in the first step of the process of changing who I am and rewiring my brain in the way I want. I had just crushed my ego, my sense of self and my old identity and was free from that moment on of any narcissism I had. I realized that's why my past relationships all failed, because the first time I learned game I became good by learning routines and tricks and basically LYING to myself to tell myself I was a bad motherfucker, but all I was actually doing is, as Tyler Durden puts it, drawing washboard abs on a flabby tummy. When I was spitting game, I was ACTING A CHARACTER, I was PUTTING ON A PERSONA rather than BECOMING a great man who is attractive to women. And I would continue to be that character in my relationships for weeks or even months until I just couldn't do it anymore and the girls would see the real me, the beta male loser that I actually was, and then they would break up with me.

It all became crystal clear and since then I've worked nonstop to try to become attractive from the inside out, rather than the other way around.

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In order to get something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done.

Thanks for the advice and the kind words, parislifeattraction and Natural_Dec.

The last few days I've been out I've been seeing some massive changes in myself. Once or twice a week I will start to see a glimpse of my ideal self coming through, almost like a teaser trailer of me in a few months. It only lasts a few minutes but those minutes are what I live for, whenever I can be totally confident and playful and attract lots of attention, it feels amazing.

Such was the experience I had last Saturday night. I brought a friend along to wing with me (another AFC) and though he's a natural extrovert he was being all shy and awkward and I couldn't get him to approach. I had had enough and had a strange confident energy resonating through my body that night, and I sure as hell wasn't going to waste it, so I walked right up two a two set of HB9s and handed her my phone and asked if she would take a picture of me and my friend. At that point I kind of had an out of body experience. My mind shut off and I was on autopilot for a few minutes, I started teasing the girls about their shitty photography skills, took a selfie with them, and being generally awesome. So awesome, in fact, that ANOTHER 9 approached ME, put her arm on my shoulder and said "I like your beard". I smiled and said "you can touch it if you want," which she did while I made orgasm noises and my AFC friend just stood there in awe because he had never seen me doing this well before. "You're awesome" one of them stooped down and yelled in my ear. I kind of froze for a second when she said that. Literally the previous night I wondered around the clubs by myself like a giant chode, hardly able to open a single set, and now this 9 told me I'm awesome. I knew at this moment the progress I was making was real. That I could change and become awesome again, and I am in fact doing it. The rest of the night I rode that high and though I didn't have any other sets quite as good as that one, I felt like a fucking boss.

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In order to get something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done.

I've been really bad so far at posting the night of or the day after I go out, so after this I'll finally be caught up. Last night pros: was my first kiss close in many months. Cons: I only opened one set all night. Depending on how you look at it, it was a pretty successful night. I talked to this HB7 and her gay friend all night long and bounced them to another club, which was good, but by the end of the night, even though I was getting twerked on like a motherfucker and making out with this fairly hot chick, I ran out of mental stamina and retreated back into my head. Still an awesome night and I'll probably go out with that group again tomorrow.

Tonight on the other hand, was completely the reverse of last night. When I went out I was super introverted, stuck in my head and insecure. I can always tell when I'm being insecure because I'm very aware of every little thing I do with my hands, my posture, etc., and I judge everyone I see, like "look at that jersey shore looking motherfucker, what a prick." Or, "that girl looks like a total bitch." Once I arrived on Rainey street where I was partying I couldn't even go into the club, I just kept walking until I got to a park. It was here that I pulled out my phone and recorded a little vlog that I may upload and include on here at some point just so you guys can see how absolutely petrified I was. But I made up my mind then and there that I was going to not let my emotions hinder me from having an awesome fucking time. I decided I needed to do what the PUAs call "burning the room", which means talking to literally every single set in the club. Not worried about makeouts, number closes, pulling or even having good conversations. Just open and then open again. I totally expected to have a terrible night and go home just feeling happy that I had the tenacity to open while feeling so bad. WRONG.

I started on the street, yelling at a guy carrying two guitars, "Hey that's my guitar!" And when I saw another set going the opposite direction of the clubs I would say, "Umm...party is this way!" People just looked at me stupidly but I just smiled and used the adrenaline rush to amp up my state. I did four sets this way before even going into the club. Once I got inside I decided a great way to open would be to ask for a cigarette (I quit smoking, but I would just throw it away when I got one.) Luckily, I didn't find any cigarettes for the longest time, but what I did find was a two set with a smoking hot 9 and a passable 6 who wanted to talk. So I started talking and realized, these girls are totally fucking normal! And they're being nice to me! A light went off and after having a good conversation and getting a snapchat video with them I moved on and opened a gorgeous 9, and she was super cool as well. Who woulda thunk? At that point I just relaxed and let my personality finally emerge, and I ended up number closing and being invited to her house boat party on Sunday.

But that's when things were just heating up. The personality I took on last week when I talked to those 9s the week before, when they told me I was awesome, was how I ended up acting the entire night. Next I ran up to a bachelorette party and started hamming it up with them, being cocky, funny, the whole nine yards, and for some reason a lot of Mystery Method I had learned years ago started rearing it's head and I amused them so much the bride told me to take them all to another bar. I was on cloud nine. We went and I got her a drink (I don't actually drink anymore), and then I started to get a little awkward when two dudes who were in straight up party mode walked up and started dancing with them like I had been. Oh well, I thought, and opened one more set on my way out, danced with a 7, and then called it a night.

Probably opened around 20 sets all night and not a single bad set. I'm so jacked right now. I'm so amazed and happy that all this hard work and dedication I've put into changing my personality is finally paying off. Yes, I could have escalated (I showed almost zero direct interest in any girl at all), but for me, coming from such a sorry place, I may as well be Dan Bilzerian. Pickup works follks. I'm addicted.

Three weeks ago I loathed clubs. Now I can't wait to go out again.

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In order to get something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done.

As I started writing this post there was a girl in my bed lol. You could say it was a fairly good night.

I met up with the HB7 I k-closed two days ago with her and her gay roomate at a club. At first it was kind of awkward, mainly because they gay guy is always all over this girl, grinding on her and smacking her ass and shit, and he gets super protective of her when guys come to talk to her. It's weird. However he finally left us alone about 45 minutes until closing and we got to actually talk and the pressure was off and we just danced and had a great time. I knew she was ready to be closed because she started talking about sex and saying stuff like, "I don't want anything serious I just want a boyfriend that I can come home to every day and sometimes just stay in on a rainy morning and have sex with." To which I replied, "I think you just described tomorrow morning." When she laughed and agreed I knew it was time.

"Did you know I'm YouTube famous?" I asked her.
"YouTube famous?"
"Yeah, I do pranks on YouTube, they're hilarious." I said, referring to the two pranks I uploaded last year that garnered collectively about 8 thousand views.
"Yeah, come on to my house I'll show them to you."
"Yeah okay."

And the rest is history. I felt better than I had in years, knowing I just went out, by myself, met a girl and pulled her home...that to me was better than the sex itself. I felt like a hunter who was finally learning to hunt. I was so proud I wasn't even nervous to fuck her, and unlike previous sexual experiences I've had where I'm all in my head like "am I doing the right thing? How is she reacting? What is she thinking? Omg I hope I'm doing it right," I just shut that shit out of my mind and did what felt good, and it was amazing. Not sure if it was all the meditation I've been doing or the fact that I used to get laid all the time, but I just got into the moment and enjoyed it more than I had in years.

I'm so jacked, looking at myself in the mirror and seeing my countenance change every day, getting a little closer to my ideal self. Every approach, every good interaction, even every bad interaction is like crack to me now, I can't get enough. I'm so in love with the game and with change and growing as a man, it's absolutely changed the way I think and feel about myself and the world, and most importantly I never EVER pretend to be someone I'm not anymore, or cooler than I am, because I don't fear rejection anymore and I don't need everyone to like me. I'm just me in that moment trying my best and that's all. And that is incredibly liberating and I think it makes me come off much cooler and authentic, and that wouldn't have ever happened to me unless I got out there and crushed my ego like I did when I first started gaming. Your ego will fuck you over, and I think it's what causes most guys to suck at life and with women, it's because they associate their entire self image with a lie, and they're scared of pushing themselves and testing it because they know they'll fail, and thus collapse their entire identity. But the sooner you kill who you think you are the sooner you can become the person you want to be.

Now, off to talk to some more ladies. I wonder if I can pull another one this week...

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In order to get something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done.

wow your transformation is happening really quickly! this is great stuff.. pls keep posting and letting us know how you are doing..

Haven't posted here in a while (terribly sorry) but I have a very good reason! I've been literally going out too much to have the time to write, and I have to tell you, the last month has been the greatest month of my life, the greatest adventure of my life and the greatest transformation of my life. Here it goes...

Right after my last post I ran into someone who changed my life, a pickup artist named...let's call him James for privacy's sake. The night I met him I was having a tough time. Though I was seeing consistent progress every week, at least three days a week I was having a terribly hard time...still struggling with approach anxiety, low self confidence and a general lack of practice. I had no idea what was even possible until I ran into this guy on the street. When I saw him he was opening a two set using something that sounded like Mystery method. So I had to ask.

"Hold on ask him what you just asked me." James said as another pickup artist, an Indian guy with a grey steak of hair down the middle of his head turned the corner.
"Was that Mystery Method?" I repeated.
"Stay right there. We're going to exchange numbers." He said as he went into a nearby bar on 6th street and directly opened a blonde two set.

I was elated, I had finally found someone to sarge with! This guy seemed way better than me, and he was. Turns out these guys are some of the top pickup artists in Austin, who used to run a boot camp company here before "The Game" was even written. These guys learned their game along side Mystery, Herbal, Papa, Adam Lyons, and everyone else I've worshipped for years. I had hit the jackpot.

I sat there and watched as these two pulled five beautiful girls before my eyes and bounced them to the Indian Guy's apartment, all while I watched with my mouth agape, just trying not to get in their way.

"Welcome to our lives." James said smiling as he took some girls onto the patio and I poured us some shots. That was my indoctrination into the real world of pickup, happening right before my eyes. These guys were geniuses to me and I wanted to absorb every ounce of information they were kind enough to give an AFC like me.

Since then I've been going out with them seven nights a week, been introduced to Sam, a guy who, like me, just happened to meet these pickup artists a few months prior and was still learning like me (he turned out to become a very great wing and a dear friend of mine) and several others who were into the game, thought not to the extent that Sam, James and I was, going out 7 nights a week. In the six weeks I've known them I've fucked 3 girls made out with 6 and pulled countless girls to James' apartment.

Though my transformation hasn't been completely uphill and I still have days when I get blown out like a motherfucker, I've gained SO MUCH that looking back on how I was when I first arrived here two months ago, at that club in Dallas where I literally couldn't make myself talk to a single girl, it's night and day.


Tonight was a bittersweet night. I went to a new set of clubs with Sam and the first girl I opened I hooked without even trying. Then we met a couple of average frat boy looking dudes that were there to get girls, but didn't know how. One of them said he had connections with some very important business people that he would give me, so in exchange I told him I'd get him a girl that night. Fair trade off. So immediately I put him in set with a sexy little ginger 8.5 and in minutes I got him a number close and we bounced them to a club across the street.

"How the fuck did you do that?" He asked me. I stood there for a second, shocked at this, because to me this was a non event. This was just another night and I would have a dozen numbers by the end of it. It was then I looked at this guy and saw myself just two months ago, (although this guy has way better general social skills than I did when I started learning) and it really sank in how far I've come in the game; Sam and me both as a matter of fact.

The bitter part is because it was my last night of night game in my immersion period. Monday I move to a nearby city not as condisive for game but better for work, and I will begin my new career selling cars. My plan is to become the best car salesman in the state by alternating between three month periods of sales immersion where I grind it out and put the same amount of effort and dedication into learning sales as I do game (it's all game, after all), and then taking what I learned and the money I made and going into another month or two of game immersion.

It feels weird knowin I won't be gaming every night now, but it will be nice to get on a regular sleep schedule again and get up at 7 or 8am instead of 12 or 1.

If I had to pinpoint the single greatest thing I've learned about game in the past two months, it would be this:

Whenever entering a set, check your frame of mind. If you are approaching to seek validation or approval of the girl, or to prove to yourself that your game is improving, you will get blown out. But if you approach because you have a great energy and you just want to share it and maybe have a good connection with a girl, then they will be all over you.

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In order to get something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done.

Holy shit bro! Sounds like you hit the jackpot! Looks like all that work is paying off, way to stick to it man! All of us guys on the forum are proud of your transformation! Stay gaming bro

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A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.
- John C. Maxwell