| Here's my report from the mall today...
I went there all excited with full intention of just bursting in there and talking to every girl there with whatever thing came to mind.
As soon as I walked in the door, the approach anxiety set in. I saw several lone girls or sets that I could have approached. I saw a girl
sitting at a table, and if I had more balls, I would have walked up to her and said "hey you look cool, what's your name? Mind if I sit
and talk with you?" She was hot. But I didn't. (If I did do this, what kind of things should I have talked to her or asked her about? how
do you continue a normal conversation?)
Then, I was standing in line at the food court. These two girls behind me. I couldn't think of anything to say... but after a few minutes of
waiting, I said...
Me: Do you guys know the best places to go downtown on a Tuesday?
Them: No (in English accents)
Me: Are you guys from here?
Them: No.
Me: Where are you from
Them: England (they named a specific part, but I forgot what they said)
(I forget the exact words, but the rest of the conversation went something like....)
Me: What brings you here?
Them: Vacation.
Me: Are you visiting Disney World (I live in Orlando)
Them: Yea, probably
Me: It's overrated.
Them: What parks have you been to?
Me: All of them. But none in a while. It gets boring if you live here.
Them: Yea, it probably would.
Silence....
Me: Is there Amazon in England? I'm about to have a book published. (which I immediately sensed came across as bragging and I see what you guys
are talking about). It became clear that it should be about their enjoyment and not my own or my own bragging. Also, it became clear that I
would have to care about their emotions. (truly care.... empathize)... in order to get anything.
...I think that was about it.... looking back on it, I could have asked for their number. I could have asked if they wanted to hang out with me
and my friends (if I had any, which I don't, especially not cool ones or anyone they would want to hang out with)... but I didn't. I could have
added value to their vacation if I was better at it at the time.
Next scene:
I walked into the Prada store...
I asked one of the clerks about Prada bags and why they are considered so prestigous. She said they are made in Italy. I pretended I was considering
buying a gift for my female cousin. She showed me the $2000 bags. I asked, "how many bags do you sell in a day?" She said, a few. I said, "how does
anyone have that much money to spend on a bag?"... one of the other clerks was hot and I wish I could have thought of something to say to her, but I
couldn't, and then you know they can sense the apprehensiveness and approach anxiety, and I think they think "something must be wrong with this guy if
he can't approach me." And maybe they are right.
Next scene:
I went to the Gucci store....
I just looked around, but one of the clerks was real hot and looked real classy and at this time, I wish I was wearing my suit. I think it works in
certain settings. I was going to try to find her and ask her about colognes, but I couldn't find her, so I didn't do anything and I left...
Next scene:
I walked by a makeup store loaded with girls.... at first I walked past, then I knew I had to go in there and say something...
I walked around the store for a while, then stood next to the hottest girl there and said...
Me: I'm trying to prepare for my next drag show. What type of foundation do you think would look best on me?
Her: Not here.
Me: They don't sell foundation here?
Her: No, you should go to (and she leaned close to me and bumped her shoulder into mine... which doesn't happen by accident)
Me: Where can I get it?
Her: (the name of some store)
Me: Is there one here in the mall?
Her: Yes.
Me: Cool... I'll have to go there....
...then I considered asking her for her number, but was too pussy to do it.... plus I only talked to her for about 30 seconds... I should have used
a false time constraint and maybe invited her to something? (anyone got suggestions?)
... then as I left, I knew I had to do some kino.... so I smiled at her and tapped her on the shoulder with my hand twice... I don't think it came
across as creepy.... looking back, I should have made more eye contact with her when I was talking to her.... I think I looked down at the makeup
counter....
...after that encounter, I was feeling pretty good... she was really hot.... but then it occured to me that if she would have continued talking to me
for about 5-10 minutes, she would have discovered more about me.... and I think she would have ended up thinking I was creepy.... because I tend to
come across as creepy sometimes.... I think about sex a lot.... I can't stand next to a girl without thinking about sex.... I have even asked girls if
I can eat them out after knowing them for 10 minutes...
Then, I started wondering if something is wrong with me that I am creepy... am I any more creepy than anyone else (I think so... but I've gotten a lot
better over the last year or so)...
How do I not be creepy? or should I just accept it? I read a book that said "make eye contact, don't linger," and a few other things. But what if even
my eye contact is creepy?
Next scene...
I went into some store that sold men's clothing. The clerk was super hot.... she asked if I needed anything, I said I'm just looking.... I looked at the
price of a suit jacket and it was over $800, as opposed to the ones I get for $12 at Goodwill, so I knew I wasn't going to buy anything.... she asked
again if she could help me.... I said, "no, I think it's too expensive...".... I should have said something else that would have got her talking to me...
What do you think I should have said?... I could have gotten her to invest some time in me.... could have had her handing me clothes one after the other...
Other events....
One time I was standing outside the mall drinking an iced mocha coffee drink from Panera. There was a girl sitting there by herself. I didn't say anything,
I could have said.... "these drinks are so much better than the ones at Starbucks."
Then there is the fact that I have gotten no where close to a conversation that lasts any more than 30 seconds or consists of anything but mostly
"functional" openers and factual topics...
The great Erik von Marcovich (Mystery) says that you have to be talkative or it won't work. I am naturally introverted, but I think I can fix this...
Other notes and questions:
"The Mystery Method" says that life is divided into three parts: health, wealth, and "love/relationships"... I realized that I have been neglecting my
health. I have been smoking, drinking, sleeping irregularly, neglecting to go to the gym. I have to improve that. I recently read a book written by
a professional female wing called "Inside Her," and it described the routines of people like Winston Churchill.... and how he stuck to the same routine
every single day....
I noticed that it takes balls to be honest with girls. To just walk up to a girl and say "you look cool," or "you look hot, I want to talk to you."
I have not been able to do that yet.
Do you ever talk about the game with girls? Is that a definite bad idea?
How much do looks matter (for a guy)? The other day, I was talking to a girl online and we were sexting and she told me she was single and we made plans
to meet at a hotel. Then, she asked me for a face pic. I sent it, and she stopped talking to me. I was like "what the fuck?" I didn't know I was ugly.
In high school, people used to call me handsome. But to be fair, I had just rolled out of bed and had been smoking cigarettes for about a week straight
and just took it in a bathroom mirror. I probably could have sent a better pic. Then, I asked two people if I was ugly. One said she didn't think I was
hot or ugly. The other gave me a 7. And the other said I wasn't ugly, but that I looked tired and unhealthy in that pic. (due to the health neglect)
Do you guys peacock in any way? What do you think if I wore an all white suit? I think I should probably just be normal. A few weeks ago, I would go
downtown wearing Kanye West glasses (shutter shades), a hat that I literally bought peacock feathers and stuck them in them, custom made shirts that
literally said things like "I <3 Eating Pussy" and equally outrageous things.... 5" platform shoes and even a wig at one point.... I though this was
helping me... that's how stupid I was just a few weeks ago.... To be fair, about 100 people took pictures of me or with me.... and I got maybe 5 phone
numbers and people would always come up to me and introduce themselves (more so than before) and would even talk to me like a normal person as if they
didn't know I had the stuff on.... then a bartender talked some sense into me... she said that would never work and I should just dress normal...
Is dancing important? How do you dance with girls at clubs?
Do you find it hard to talk to family afterward? After spending your life trying to get girls, is family life boring? For example, my stepdad is
dying of lung caner at age 53, and I'm out at the mall? selfish? I visited him for several hours the day before, though.
Do you agree with the statement that there is no reason not to hit on every girl you see?
What should I be seeking? Sex, or to just show them a good time? Should I be seeking to improve their life in any way? Do you agree with the statement,
"it's whatever they want." One time a guy told me that's how he realized how to get laid is to just give them whatever they want.
What do you do in awkward silences?
I noticed and realized for good that alcohol is not a legitimate tool for handling approach anxiety, just like it says in the books.
How can you get a girl back? Not to sound like "one-itis," but there is this girl I was talking to that I messed up and I would love to try to
go back to her new and improved and show her that I'm different than I was and that it would be worth her time to talk to me. I used to be a loser
who sat at home when we talked, now I have a life and much more happy and enjoying life. "The Mystery Method" says that it is possible if you come
back brand new... new car, new income, and, most importantly, new girl (or many options)... have you ever tried to do this before?
I noticed that smiling is so important. It makes a person good looking instead of ugly.
Although I never tried one, I think I know that using any kind of "far out" opener, such as "Do you think magic tricks work?" is pretty stupid, although
maybe I should try it just once to see this for myself.
After I went to the mall, I went out to dinner with my family and some friend of family. It was for someone's birthday. A girl there (not related to
me) said something that wasn't stupid... and for some reason, my brain thinks "shut up b****... that was so stupid," before I even listen to what
she says. Why do I do this? What is wrong with me?
It feels good to know that my value is no longer based in real estate that I don't have yet. I didn't mention that the whole night except at the dinner
with family and friends of family.
I have read that the guys in the books that became PUA eventually became addicted to the responses they got from the high-energy approaches they make.
Have any of you experienced this? I want to get there. How do I do it?
I have trouble looking other guys in the eye and being friendly, yet assertive at the same time.
I look forward to converting approach anxiety to approach excitement.
I read in another post that the girls are rooting for you. They want you to succeed and not be the same as the other guys. That is good to hear. I just
wish I knew how to do it every time.
About 3 weeks ago, a drunk girl at a bar came up and put her number in my phone. We talked for a little bit (I was drunk too, so I didn't remember
too much about what we talked about)... she told me I could crash on her couch that night, and I ran a very bad version of "evolution phase shift" and
when I rubbed her thigh, she told the bartender to put my tab on hers ($25)... I went to the bathroom, and by the time I got out, she had ran away and
was getting in her car, driving home without me.... three weeks later, I was going through my phone (drunk) and decided to text her and pretend I didn't
know who she was. She didn't know who I was. I texted a bunch of stupid drunk shit saying "want to come over for a candlelit dinner? Want to snuggle? Can
I cook you a quesadilla? Do you like them? Can I give you a massage? Then she asked what I did... I told her I work about 3 hours per week and just collect
rent. She said that was a turn off because it felt like I was bragging about money. She also asked what I looked like. I said I was too ugly to send a pic.
I was kind of joking around, but earlier, a girl had decided not to meet me after I sent a pic. She said she didn't ask for a pic, but that she thought my
lack of confidence was also a turn off. The girl was 35 years old. I am 28. What do you think of that interaction?
I remember that in the books, even Strauss had AFC moments like approach anxiety after he became good at it.
How do you talk about serious matters with girls. Such as the fact that my stepdad is dying of lung cancer at age 53 and my brother's good friend just
died in a car accident at age 24, and his other friend was driving (age 18) and he is in critical condition and facing manslaughter charges. It tends
to be a buzzkill, but on the other hand, it's real and there's a funeral coming up soon.
I noticed that many of these girls tend to lead more innocent lives than I do. For example, the two girls that travelled all the way from England just
to go to Disney World. But maybe they would like some naughty fun? Especially while on vacation?
I need some cool guy friends. I don't have any. My only friends are my younger brother (age 20) and his friends, but none of them would be cool to go out
with and approach hot girls... but might be better than no one. How do I find some?
How do you guys set up your house? (especially bedroom) to cater it for women?
I might go out again tonight and post something about that. I feel like my approch anxiety has been cut in half just today and it occurs to me that some
people have been doing this since middle school, which kind of makes me angry, depressed, and just.... it sucks that I've been missing out this whole
time... but no time to dwell on the past....
I do believe this is the first thing I've ever posted that could be considered a true "field report."
I also think I noticed that I have to calm down my anger. I have always had an anger problem. I get mad at little things like when technology malfunctions
and I go crazy and start yelling to myself. There is a bar that doesn't let me in there any more and I think it's because I was getting angry at my
computer one day.
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