| Time to write down some thoughts I am having here, since I feel they are worth for me retaining and following them in the future. It is 1 AM, I cannot sleep, my mind keeps racing on. I said in my last post "I feel entirely satisfied with how things are going for me game wise", but that is not true. Sure, I have been getting consistent results in the 4 months I have been back into this game (consistent results meaning laying at least one new girl a month... I could probably aim for more but, honestly, I cannot be bothered)... But at the same time, it is not like before. I don't really feel happy nor fulfilled by this stuff no more. I mean, I WOULD get unhappy if I didn't get my results, but still.
So, as I was laying here, wondering what has changed about myself or my life so much that I don't feel fulfilled by this game no more, I had a sudden realization... Thinking back, it is not really the sex I miss (not as long as I get laid often enough). What I really miss is the beautiful moments I got to share with people from all walks of life thanks to this game. Mostly girls, but also all kinds of other people. I guess there is something inherently attractive about a man who's got his act together. And I realized what's wrong with me right now. My drivers have changed over time. Back when I came into this game, I was young. Hungry. Emotionally deprived. So when I went into my interactions, I did so because I was craving the emotional attention, not because I cared about my results. Results followed as a consequence of my interactions, but they never were what drove me.
Right now, I am a superficial douchebag. Also, I drink too much way too often. Like, I always cut down on drinking and control my game when I feel it is time for me to get laid once again, and then I feel pretty good about myself and "like a pretty cool guy" for a while... But man, looking at it from a distance, it is no wonder it doesn't fulfill me anymore. There is a time and place for things, and I should probably accept it is time for me to move on.
So this is the state of my game as I envision it in the future, and I am willing and motivated to turn it into reality: I want to focus more on quality. As in, not quality of the girls (OK, that as well), but on the quality and depth of my interactions with them. Come to think about it, it is no wonder I am getting bored. In the end, sex is amazing, but every lay is "the same". Girls, however... Their personality... Every girl is different and has an entire world to explore and discover. Lovely unique traits and characteristics that are just meant to be loved. I want to focus on building deeper connections with the people surrounding me. Not just girls I want to do, but everybody around me.
I feel like I need to run my game much more steadily. Instead of using it as a tool to get laid whenever I want, I want to turn it into a way of life. I want to always be on the outlook for quality people, and use the momentum to put them into my life.
I want make my game less result dependant. I want to play for the pure joy of it. I want to make this about the journey, not the goal. Hell, I feel like results could skyrocket with this new mindset anyway. I don't want to go into an interaction knowing that I want something out of it... I want to come into an interaction... As a genuine person, as a GIVER. I want to give girls a chance to interact with me. To join me on a journey together that, even though don't know how it will end, I am sure will be beautiful. This genuinity, paired with the absolute lack of neediness that should result if I really take this mindset in, has the potential to further grow my game.
I have been there before. For some reason, I didn't realize this until now... But THIS is it. This is why this used to fulfill me and now it doesn't anymore. I have made a mistake, and turned this beautiful way of life into a mere tool, perhaps because of a lack of knowledge about myself and what motivates me. And I want to remedy that.
In the coming days, I will think of a concrete action plan to make this happen again. But this is it. My personal goal. Finally something I feel is worth working towards again.
Edit with tools:
- Meditate. Stay focused. Every moment of the day, as long as you are out of the house, focus on who you could be talking to right now. Open new people, and go deeper with those you know. Always have your act together. Own this game.
- When you go out sarging, do not drink excessively anymore. Focus on talking. Talk to as many people as possible and go into your sets knowing that they are in for a load of fun with you.
- Do the above two for a while and come back here to analyze my feelings and results.
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