To: The Pickup Artists of MPUA

From: Omnipotens Maximus Rex

Subject: Setting Good Precedents

Date: NOV 98


Description

Race: Mixed, (She looks like a Latina)

Ethnicity: Barbadian and Puerto Rican

Height: 5' 3"

Weight: 145 lbs (When Rex initially met her,) Present weight: 215 lbs (Rex knows, she's fat.)

Age: 18 (when Rex initially met her,) Present Age: 34

Complexion: Light Brown

Eye Color: Brown

Hair Color: Black

Hair Length: To the top of her shoulders

Hair Texture: Wavy, (however, she wears her hair in a permanent,)

Known Piercings: Ears

Known Tattoos: A butterfly and a flower in between her shoulder blades. "Cav's" on her right buttock

Measurements: (Possibly 32 D, 29 waist, 30 hips when Rex initially met her,) Present Measurements: Too Hard to Figure)

Hot Babe Rating: 7.5 (When Rex initally met her,)

Code Name: "HONEY"



Briefing

There are times in life when we knowingly or inadvertently reach a crossroads. When the next decision that we make will set into course a chain of events that will forever alter our lives. Be it the decision for some reason to wear a pair a slacks and a dress shirt, serendipitously meeting an H.R. person in what would normally be a mundane commute to the downtown area in your city, and this meeting turns into a job offer. It could be waking up one morning and deciding you need to make a change in your life. Something as simple as opening your mouth to saying “Hi,” to a chick who ends up being your wife, or setting good precedents early on with women. “O.M.R.” has learned the hard way with women and this has led to his zero tolerance stance in regards to women their bad behavior. So Rex can tell you from firsthand experience what happens when you don’t set good precedents and you give women opportunities to fuck over you.

Before “HONEY” “burst on to the scene,” and let to herself go, she was a hot and sexy 18 year old high school junior with a large firm rack. (Rex figures maybe somewhere between a 38 C to possibly a 36 D,) At the time she had a bang in her hair, (to this day I have a thing for Spanish chicks with bangs in their hair,) the prettiest smile and with the cutest of dimples. Rex would dare to say that “HONEY” (along with her friends,) were probably the cutest chicks in her high school, (which leads to the delusions of grandeur and the entitlement complex that she has to this day.)

“HONEY” lived next door to my father and when I came back to New York, he had mentioned me to her, this piqued her curiosity in ya boy, but every time when I went to visit my dad, “HONEY” was either gone or she had just left. Finally, one day she called, (my dad had given her Rex’s contact information,) and we spoke over the phone and ole Rex had set up a date. I met her in Manhattan and I took her to the All Star Cafe in Times Square. A few weeks later (during a phone conversation,) we agreed that I would meet her when she got out of school, to which I did.

When we got to her apartment, her mom and little brother were in the living room and we went straight for her bedroom. Nothing of note happen, and I don’t remember conversation, except that “The Sally Jessie Raphael Show,” was on. (Goes to show you how long ago this was.) In retrospect, ya boy realized what was going through “HONEY’S” head which was, "Why isn’t this muthafucka blastin' the fuck out of my 18 year old black and Puerto Rican pussy?" However, as “O.M.R.” has stated on many occasions by this time he was so at lost with women, (especially the subtly regarding their IoI’s,) that he couldn’t even pick up on the obvious signs that a woman was interested, let alone she wanted to give him some.

“Though Rex may bitch about “HONEY” one of the things that Rex has always liked and enjoyed about her is, “HONEY” is a freak, (though she would only expose her freaky nature to me in dribs and drabs,) and she’s the nastiest and freakiest chick that Rex has had the opportunity of being with, and my most unusual sexual experiences have been with her. Including “Rex’'s Kinda Sorta Menage a Trois,” we'’ve fucked around in a classroom at her school, at "HONEY'S BEST FRIEND FOREVER'S house while her "B.F.F.’S" daughter was home, and the first time we had an intimate encounter, her mother and little brother were in the next room. As much Rex wants to believe it so, I realistically can’t believe that this was the first time her nasty ass fucked guys in her room while her mom was home. So being the demanding, pushy, forward, sexually uninhibited woman that she is, “HONEY” took the incentive.

While, ole Rex is watching TV, ya boy could see out of the corner of his eye that “HONEY” was taking her pants off, but being the “gentleman,” that I was at the time, Rex doesn’t look. Upon noticing that “O.M.R.” sees her undressing, “HONEY” says, “Oh, don’t mind me. I’m just getting comfortable.” so Rex goes back to watching television lo and behold, “O.M.R.” makes a rather particular observation. “HONEY” is naked from the waist down and this is the beta male thought that ran through “O.M.R.’S.” mind as he was watching “HONEY” shuffle a deck of of Uno cards. “Now does she want me to fuck her? Or is she actually being comfortable?

You’ll always here ya boy echo that old pimpin’ proverb of “How you start with a bitch is how you end with a bitch.” and that comment is apropos of “HONEY” and the simpin’ that ole Rex was about to engage in. About a few weeks later, we hooked up again and while on our way to my place, we stopped off at her grandfather’s apartment to which “HONEY” left me downstairs for about an half an hour, (don’t bother asking why I stayed and waited for her.) After getting to my place, when we get into the bed, “HONEY’S” libido kicks into play and she asks ya boy if he has an pornos. (Asking ole Rex if he has pornos is like asking if there are any coca leaves in Columbia, but forgive my digression.) I go and pop in Ed Power’s Black Dirty Debutantes and go to work. I suck on “HONEY’S” nipples and rub her snatch, but when I tried to fuck her, but she’s says, “Lick it first.” Rex says, “Do me.” “HONEY” answer’s “Ladies first. Do me and I’ll do you.” Again, being the gullible dumb ass that he was at the time, Rex proceeds to lick that snatch and give “HONEY” one of the best orgasms she’s had ever had when she says in a rather loud and climatic voice, "EAT THAT PUSSYYYY!" Rex has to admit, despite the simpish beta male cluster eff aspect to that encounter, when he think about, it’s still hot to this day. Of course when Rex seeks some sexual reciprocation, “HONEY” doesn’t want to be touched and tells ya boy to go to sleep.

As I was laying in bed, (madder than a muthafucka,) I was seriously considering kicking her out of my place and to this day I don't why I didn’t. The following morning I woke up, still pissed off and I put on Dr. Dre's "Bitches Ain't Shit," and I wanted to be rid of “HONEY’S” triflin’ ass, however, she wanted me to come with her to Green Acres Mall in Valley Stream, Long Island. I forget how I eventually agreed to this b.s., but ya boy ends up accompanying her to the mall. “HONEY’S” ulterior motive in wanting me to accompany her to Green Acres was that she wanted me to buy a present that she could give at her friend’s baby shower. I stressed to her that the only money that I on me was my rent money. She said that she would pay me back when she got to her house. When we got to her house, she told ole Rex to wait outside to which she never came back out and that was the first of many passes I gave her triflin’ ass and what began our rather strange, strained, cunninglingus filled relationship.

To: The Pick Up Artists of MPUA

From: Omnipotens Maximus Rex

Subject: She Told Me That I Was Too Nice

Date: MAR 99


Description

Race: Black

Ethnicity: African American and Belizean

Height: 5' 3"

Weight: 150 lbs, (When Rex initially met her,) Present weight: 205

Age: 19 (Present Age: 34)

Complexion: Medium, (Kerry Washington,)

Eye Color: Brown

Hair Color: Black

Hair Length: To the bottom of her shoulders

Hair Texture: Wavy (However, she wears her hair in a permenant,)

Known Piercings: None

Known Tattoos: None

Measurments: (Possibly 36 D, 34 waist, 34 or 30 hips, when Rex initially met her,) Present measurements: Unknown (However, she's fat.)

Hot Babe Rating: 7 (When Rex initially met her,)

Code Name: "BOO BOO"



Briefing

"BOO BOO" even to this day is a very cool chick. She's caring, affectionate, playful, (she used to like to fart on me) giving, and she made burritos that rivaled Mexicans. When I started messing with "BOO BOO" I was in the infancy of changing my philosophy with women, I was starting to come out of my "weak-penis-AFC-Poindexter," way of thinking, but remnants of the "old ways," still remained in my psyche.I met "BOO BOO" via my friend's girl and "BOO BOO" and I began talking to each other over the phone. Nothing serious, just friendly, conversations that were sometimes laced with double entendres. Unfortunately, "O.M.R." had to learn the hard way about long distance relationships and trying to hook up with chicks that you've never met over the phone."

Then in December of '98 I happened to be in California and when I got there I called up "BOO BOO" and told her I was there. To this day, it still puts a smile on my face when I think about how excited she was when I told her that I was in CA, then we made arrangements to hook up for New Year's. I would be traveling to Frenso from the S.F. Bay Area, (about 200 miles away.) I was excited yet, skeptical considering that I've always had bad luck with women, so I didn't put it outside of the realm of possibility that she would have me come all the way down there just to stand me up. Also, there was the possibility of of her not being the chick in the picture.

However, when "BOO BOO" got to the train station to pick me up, ya boy was more than satisfied. When I saw her for the first time, I quoted to myself from the Lord Vader's line from "Episode V," when he fought Luke in their light saber duel. "Impressive. Most impressive," and Rex's first words to "BOO BOO" were, "Damn. You are cute." New Year's '98 was to this day, the best one I ever had. It was just me and her, at her crib. We had some Domino's and some alcoholic concoction she made with cider, then after we watched the ball drop on TV, I kissed her, and we retired for the evening. When we were laying in bed, she would lay up under me. "Rex, fucking with around with her," I would move away from her and she would get right back up under me. Finally she was like, "What. You don't want me to lay next to you?" I was like "Yeah. I was just fucking with you." Then ya boy proceed to rub on her stomach, her chest, then her snatch.

When she was riding me, I was saying to myself. "This is cool. I've got this very cute girl riding me and nothing went wrong." From then on for all intents and purposes, we were girlfriend and boyfriend. What separated "Boo Boo" from any chick that I dealt with prior to her was that 1) She spent money on me. 2) She showed me affection 3) She would get on the train for 4 hours and come visit me in the Bay. (We would alternate trips,) "BOO BOO" had bonded with my mom and my sister and "BOO BOO" would always want to bring my sister with us when we kicked it.

Considering that at 27, this was "O.M.R.'S" first relationship, Rex did what he felt was his part, namely give her attention and do things when she asked me to do them. One morning she asked me to make her some cereal. So I got up, and made her some cereal. Another time she asked me to go to the store for her. No problem, the store was only two blocks down the street. I'd even ran a bath water for her. At the time she "claimed," that she didn't perform fellatio. OK, I can do without head. She also informed me that she didn't like doggystyle. To me this wasn't an issue, (as Rex stated earlier, I was still very much an AFC, in addition to believing the nonsense Oprah would say when it come to women and what they wanted in relationships.) One day, she happened to answered the phone and it was my boy Dave, so Dave asked “BOO BOO” how things were going between us. She responed with, "They're cool, but, HE'S TOO NICE TO ME AND I CONTROL OUR RELATIONSHIP." I took the phone from her, finished talking Dave and asked her what that "I'm too nice you," statement meant and what the fuck was that about "BOO BOO" told "O.M.R." that "He didn't have to do everything she told me, and to sometimes tell her no." She also said that Rex "was too nice." I was like what the fuck do you mean that I'm too nice? I told her that she never asked me to do anything outside of the realm of reason and I didn't mind doing things for her, and not to take my kindness for weakness. I also told her that she's ever gave me a reason to be fucked up towards her and if Rex were to be, it would scare her and this day was the start of the end.

One day, we're watching TV and I mumbled "I love you," under my breathe. She heard me and said it and her response was, "Why did you say that?" and it was all downhill from there. had "BOO BOO" came from a broken home that included a crackhead mother that was sometimes physically abusive towards her. When I was doing my evaluation of of went wrong with my dealings with females, I realized that "BOO BOO" equated abuse with love. That for her to actually be treated like a human being by someone she loved was foreign to her and when she actually received love and care, she rebelled against it. Towards the end of our relationship, "BOO BOO" went to LA for spring break to visit some male friends and we all know what happened, another fucking nail in the coffin. In retro I should have demanded that we spend her spring break together.

Finally, in April I went back to NY, but I still called "BOO BOO" as often as I could. I wanted her to come with me, but she declined. The end came one day, in June of '99. She told me that our relationship meant nothing to her and to stop calling her. At this point I had nothing but my pride left. Due to previous experiences for calling women after they've made it plain that they were no longer interested in the Omnipotens Maximus Rex, Rex, decided that when a woman tells me to leave her alone, he does just that and leaves her alone. There would be NO WAY I would "show out," in front of a bitch again. I realized that I would have to look at myself in the mirror and I wanted to know that when I looked at myself, that would be able to say to myself, that I conducted myself like a man. In addition, if I did show out in front a woman, my dad and friends would talk really bad about me. As much as it hurt, as much as I wanted to call, I didn't. Just because I lost a chick, I wasn't about to lose my pride and self-respect.

Then one day, out of the day in August, "BOO BOO” left some contact information for me via my mom. So we started to talk again. But I found out that she had a boyfriend. Again we all know what kind of guy she choose. The dude she ended up with would be three hours late picking her up from work and dude also had a penchant for other chicks, breaking shit, and throwing "Boo Boo" into walls. In her "infinite wisdom," "BOO BOO" decided to get pregnant by this dude and marry him, however, after four tumultous years they later divorced. I have to admit I still have a soft spot for "BOO BOO". She's one of two chicks that I would go against my better judgment for. The other being "HONEY" (my freaky friend) I would love to take "BOO BOO" to dinner and see how's been. My friend Bone, told me her seen her, and "BOO BOO" looks like "her life has been hard," and her cousin Meika, told me that "BOO BOO" chunked up. A few years ago Bone was in Frenso, and he saw "BOO BOO" and "BOO BOO" told Bone to tell me that she said "Hi." When Bone told me that, I sat back smiled and said, "She knows now."


Update: JUN 13

I finally got to see my BOO BOO last year and surprisingly things kinda sorta pick up where they left off. It was like we had never broken up, the thing was she was heavier, (A LOT HEAVIER,) Unfortunately, she never lost weight when she had her daughter who's now 13, despite chunking up on your boy, she's still the same wonderful, happy, cool chick she was when I met her. The thing was I didn't fuck her, which I'm kinda glad I didn't. For the flowing reason, I thought I would have been going to California sooner than when I was going and I wrote her a letter. While in a comic book place, (Rex is a fanboy,) I gave her the letter and told her how I felt about her, which is I'm still in love with her, I'll always will be, and she'll always have a special place in my heart. After I told her that she got mad at ole Rex, because due to the fact we live on different parts of the country and I have no desire to live in California and due to her family situation, a relationship between the two of us wasn't possible. "BOO BOO " felt that Rex should have kept all of this to himself. However, these are things that I wanted to tell her for the longest and I wanted her to know them.

Not only did Rex spend his best New Year's Eve with his "BOO BOO", "BOO BOO" also have the honor of being the best date Rex has ever been on. The night before I left Fresno, she asked me what I like from Subway, (which is either the grilled chicken or the tuna,) and having a picnic, she even asked me what I liked to see women in, (which is a summer dress,) The next day we went out to the dam and had a picnic with a sandwich from Subway, and "BOO BOO" in a summer dress. Even though her weight is problematic, I would marry this girl. She's everything I would want in a girlfriend and a wife. However, Rex would definitely have to put her on the treadmill. I haven't spoken to her in a while, and I need speak to my "BOO BOO." Rex has made a vow not to call "THE HI YELL CHINKY EYED A CUP" until he's spoken to his "BOO BOO."

To: The United Players of America

From: Omnipotens Maximus Rex

Subject: Don't Aid and Abet in a Woman's Fuckery

Date: JUN 04


Description


Race: Black

Ethnicity: Unknown

Height: Unknown

Weight: Unknown

Age: Unknown

Complexion: Unknown (However, ole girl said she was light skin.)

Eye Color: Unknown

Hair Color: Unknown

Hair Length: Unknown

Hair Texture: Unknown

Measurements: 40 D (Old girl told "O.M.R." during course of a phone conversation that she had a massive rack.)

Hot Babe Rating: Unknown

Code Name: None


Briefing

Last year, ya boy Rex went against one the tenets in his personal dogma and he tried to talk to a single mother. Things should of ended when I found out that she had a kid, however, the initial conversation went well and I decided to over look the fact she was a mother. Also, I think the fact she said had 40 D's and was capable of female ejaculation kept ya boy's nasty ass interested. As a matter of fact, I know it kept me interested.

As we continue to talk, Rex finds out more things which were telling me to leave her alone. She was in abusive relationship while she was in college and her baby's father was a dick. He was an absentee dad and she would stress over this, also, his new broad was causing confusion between her and her daughter's father. In addition to all of that, her mother died of an drug overdose when she was a teenager. All the telltale signs of an emotionally unstable chick. Do I bounce? Oh nooo, like a classic simpin' beta male faggot, ya boy still tries to kick it and I ask for the date and she says to check back with her.

You know when you try to date a chick with kids, that you have to schedule dates decades in advance. This was Monday and she said to check back Thursday. Guess what happens on Thursday? She can't get a babysitter. Do I end the phone calls? Of course not, the possibility of getting a pair of 40 D's out will have even Omnipotens Maximus Rex going against his better judgement.I arrange yet another date and I was suppose to meet her after her child support hearing. She said call to call and "O.M.R." leaves a message. "Surprisingly," Rex never hears from her.

When I call, she's either short with me on the phone or when I do talk her, she would say "I'll call you back," and never calls back. I finally arrange another date and again there's babysitter problems. Finally, I'm like "Fuck this." and I don't call for two weeks. Rex's birthday was coming up and so I run the "Birthday Test." My birthday is very important to me, (and in order to gauge a chick's interest,) Rex will start telling a chick a month from my birthday to the week before, that it's coming up. If she remember it, she becomes "girlfriend material." For a woman to remember my birthday shows that she is thinking of ole Rex and her interest is high. Anyway, she fails the "Birthday Test," and as a result I don't call for three weeks.

Like a dumb ass, Rex starts calling her again. We talk and things are going fine. So again, (resuming the exercise in futility,) I asked (yet again,) to take her out. This was Sunday and she said check on Wednesday. I call on Wednesday as as normal I can get in contact with her. Ya boy calls on Thursday. GUESS WHAT? She can't go with me because she's going out with her co-worker. Does good ole Rex end the torment and aggravation? HELL NO!!! The next time I get her on the phone I flat out ask, "Do you want me to stop calling you?" I'm hoping for a "yes," so I can free myself of this hellish purgatory. She said, "No, I want you to keep calling me."

Now "O.M.R." is all fucked up in the game. Ole girl takes my calls and says she wants to kick it, but when it comes time to kick it, she can't get a babysitter or she's going out with her co-worker, and I stop calling for a month. One night, I call about 10:30 and one other end of the phone is this groggy voice that says not "Hi, how are you doing?" but "Why are you calling so late?" Finally, ya boy Rex follows Teddy Pendergrass' advice and he "let it go."


Analysis

The sad part about this whole fiasco is I knew better. Time and time again I kept getting the red flags, but I ignored them and I really beat myself up about that little incident. I tell y'all this delightful little story to tell you this, Rex would've saved myself six months of aggravation if he had only stayed true to his dogma. The same holds true for you guys. You know in your gut, when your first meet a person whether not you should mess with them. Listen to your instincts and you'll save yourself from future problems. After all, it's better to be alone and happy, than be in a relationship and miserable.

To: The Pickup Artists of MPUA

From: Omnipotens Maximus Rex

Subject: Don't Feed the Monster

Date: JUN 06


Description

Race: Asian

Ethnicity: Vietnamese

Height: (Estimated between 5' ft-5' 2".)

Weight: (Estimated between 140-150 lbs.)

Age: 20

Complexion: Fair

Eye Color: Brown

Hair Color: Black

Hair Length: To the middle of her back

Hair Texture: Straight

Known Piercings: Ears

Known Tattoos: Unknown

Measurements: 36 D, 28 waist, 29 hips

Hot Babe Rating: 6.5

Code Name: None



Briefing: Am I Fat?

I equate the female ego to that of monster, and this "monster," is something else. The appetite of "The Monster," is bigger than a morbidly obese person and of course the monster constantly needs to be fed. One of the first things that I learned is DO NOT FEED THE MONSTER!!!! Which brings us to last Friday. There's this chick I work with that I was trying to holla at. (Don't holla at chicks you work with,) Anyway, she'd asked me if ya boy thought she was fat. Where I work at (Office Depot,) there are pictures of all of my co-workers on the wall. This chick had asked me earlier in the week if I thought she was fat (and of course Rex being his brutally honest self,) said, "Yes. Compared to your picture on the wall and now, you've added some pounds." She looked kinda sad and said, "That's fucked up." On Friday she comes to me and we have the following conversation:

Cute Asian Chick: Rex, do you really think I'm fat?

O.M.R: Yes, but you're still cute. Some guys like chubby girls.

Cute Asian Chick: I don't want to be chubby.

O.M.R.: Well, lose some weight.

Cute Asian Chick: Fuck you. (Said in light hearted, but self-conscious tone.)

This chick shot me down on five separate occasions (four times to many) However, my question is this, why does she need me to validate her beauty? She obviously has no interest in me, so what does it matter if Rex feels as if she's fat or not. It's not like I'm her man or I'm fucking her. Is the ravenous nature of "The Monster," so great that it needs feeding from guys that it has no interest in?

To close here's an interesting side note. She told me that she broke off a date with a guy BECAUSE HE DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE KIDS. EVER!!! When I'm out with a chick I'm looking to smash. When women are out on dates are they trying qualify potential husbands and fathers for their kids? I'm was surprised that a chick who just turned 20 yrs old in January is already looking for a "baby's daddy," instead of having a good time.

Subject: Don't Ask Her For Shit

Date: AUG 06
​

Briefing

On Saturday I had just gotten off of work. As I was making my way to the bus stop, I noticed this gorgeous chick, (that was either white, mixed, or Spanish.) She was exactly how I like'em too, short, chesty, (maybe a 36 D or 38 D) and she had a nice ass. I say she was at least a 8.5 maybe a 9. This is how the conversion ensued:

O.M.R.: Hello.

Hot Chick: Hello.

O.M.R.: How are you doing today?

H.C.: Fine. How far is MacDonald Avenue from here?

O.M.R.: That's hella far. It's about 4 miles and it's going to take you about an hour and half to get there. Those are nice boots.

H.C.: Thank You.

O.M.R.: Where did you get them from? My sister is looking for some like those?

H.C.: Chicago.

O.M.R.: How do you like it out here?

H.C.: It's straight.

(During this time she's adjusting her boots and taking a breather from her long journey. She then gets up and starts walking.)

O.M.R.: Where are you going?

H.C.: To McDonald Avenue

O.M.R.: You're going to walk all the way down there?

H.C.: I have to.

O.M.R: Can I walk with you?


The hot chick makes a slashing motion with her hand and shakes her head no. My bus then arrives and I get on it. I hope you guys spotted my mistake, and it was a "rookie mistake," at that. When she got up and started walking, instead of asking her permission to walk with her, I SHOULD OF JUST DID IT!!! NEVER ASK A WOMAN FOR SHIT AND NEVER ASK IF SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND!!!! When you ask a woman for something, you giving her the chance to get out of the conversation and you're allowing the chance for negativity to enter the scenario. Instead of asking her for something, tell her to do it. For example, instead of asking her for her number tell her to give it to you:

O.M.R.: It's been cool talking to you. Give me your number and I'll call you later.

If you at the club and you want to dance, say "Let's dance," and grab her buy the wrist and lead her for the dance floor. If you want to kiss her, go for it. This is how you assert yourself as an alpha male and you're showing the chick that you're confident, a little cocky, and you have no problems in going for what you want. Plus it turns them on. Believe me, if a chick isn't interested she's going to let you know that.

"But Rex, you could have walked with her anyway." Yeah I could of, but I would've been "behind in the count." I would've had to try harder to gain her confidence and that would make her feel insecure. Remember this chick is in a strange city, not knowing where she was, where she was going, with a complete stranger following her. It would've made her feel REAL UNCOMFORTABLE. "Rex, why didn't you just pay her way on the bus?" Actually, I wouldn't have to have paid her way, I could of gave her the transfer that I got. Also, she had started walking off. Finally, I'm a student of Leykis 101, and we don't do that shit!!! Let the bitch walk.

To: The Pickup Artists of MPUA

From: Omnipotens Maximus Rex

Subject: Operation Bang High School Senior

Date: NOV 06


Description


Race: Caucasian

Ethnicity: Italian and Mexican

Height: (Estimated between 5' ft-5' 2")

Weight: (Estimated between 140-150 lbs)

Age: 18

Complexion: Fair

Eye Color: Brown

Hair Color: Brown

Hair Length: To the middle of her shoulders

Hair Texture: Wavy

Known Piercings: Ears

Known Tattoos: Unknown

Measurements: (Possibly 38C, or 34D, 34 waist, 34 or 36 hips)

Hot Babe Rating: 6.5

Code Name: "THE HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR"


Short Term Objective: To secure contact information and a date.

Overview

"THE HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR" is a short, stout, young lady with the fat on her body concentrated in her abdominal region. Though the target is chubbier than "O.M.R." would prefer, she's definitely "doable." The target is a very pretty girl with a cherubic face, puffy cheeks, clear skin, a small nose, thin lips, and a small nose ring her left nostril. Unfortunately, the target has a double chin. "O.M.R." is in the opinion that if the target where to start an exercise regime and form better eating habits, the target could easily go from a 6.5 to a Hot Babe B 9. "THE HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR" is also one of those people who are capable of "height projection." In other words she's appears taller than what she actually is. "O.M.R." knew she was short, but didn't realize how short, until he was within a foot of the target. The target is very curvy with has a nice chest, and a wonderful ass.


Briefing


Personality

Primarily reconnaissance revealed that "THE HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR" is very shy and "O.M.R." noticed that in previous conservation, that the target wouldn't look "O.M.R." in the eye and she's very soft-spoken. Intel gathered last month revealed that "T.H.S.S." is single and when "T.H.S.S." was questioned about potential dates to the Snowball (the winter formal) and her prom, the target said that she would attend the Snowball alone and have a date for the prom. When "O.M.R." asked if the target had a boyfriend, she stated that's who she's going to the with if she indeed had a boyfriend when the prom came around. Recon taken a few weeks back revealed the target may have a bit of "wild streak," waiting to come out and in her entire life, "THE H.S.S." has only missed Mass four times.

The target said, "That she hates going to church. Church would be better if there were "cute guys," but there's only old people there." Recon also reveal that the target is anxiously awaiting graduation so that she can move out of her mother's house. "THE HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR" may suffer from slight emotional problems and insecurities. Intelligence revealed that "T.H.S.S." parents have an acrimonious relationship and the target revealed that the plans for her Sweet 16 fell apart due to the parents inability to get along. Also as with most women, the target probably has issues concerning her weight.

Obstacles: Rust, due to inactivity. Racial differences. Possible scheduling conflicts.


Analysis

"O.M.R." has been inactive for quite awhile and it's time to "shake the dust off." THE HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR" will provide "O.M.R." with that opportunity. What "O.M.R." needs to do is establish rapport and comfort. If "O.M.R." is successful in establishing rapport and comfort, then he'll secure the contact information, thus making the date, more than likely be a "done deal." The target sends IoI's by initiating conversation and it's up to "O.M.R." to make The target see "O.M.R." in a romantic light to facilitate a sexual encounter. "O.M.R." plans on using Louis And Copeland's "How To Succeed With Women" method to secure the ass. "O.M.R." should be filing another report on 30 NOV 06.


To: The United Players of America

From: Omnipotens Maximus Rex

Subject: OPERATION BANG HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR

Date: 30 NOV 06


Mission Status Update


"O.M.R." has come to the conclusion that due to previous experiences that he'll never get over the initial nervousness of that approach anxiety brings. The target is a lovely girl and has one of the qualities that turns "O.M.R." on other than physical beauty, "THE HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR" appears to be happy and smiles a lot and there's something about a happy smiling woman that gets "O.M.R." going. "O.M.R." is very frustrated with himself because he doesn't capitalize on opportunities to take a conversation from the mundane to a number close. "O.M.R." said at the time it was because the "opportunity wasn't right." That's nonsense. When is the "opportunity ever right." There is no right opportunity. You make the opportunity. Here's an example of "O.M.R." not capitalizing on an opportunity to number close "THE HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR."

O.M.R.: I hope you feel better. ("THE HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR" has a cold.)

THE HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR: Thank you. (T.H.S.S. smiles)

O.M.R.: And don't go spreading your germs to everybody. ("O.M.R." hitting T.H.S.S. with a neg)

T.H.S.S.: What?

O.M.R.: Don't go spreading your germs to everybody.

T.H.S.S.: (smiling and laughing) OK. I won't.


Analysis

This was "O.M.R.'S" opportunity to keep the conversation going a little while longer and set himself up for the number close. The issue isn't about success in achieving the short term goal, it's about taking advantage of t he opportunities "O.M.R." creates for himself. "O.M.R." didn't do that and "O.M.R." has to stop letting feelings of rejection and self doubt interfere with achieving the mission. What's the worse that can happen, "T.H.H.S." says "no." It's funny how such a small two letter word would prevent you from doing so much.


To: The United Players of America

From: Omnipotens Maximus Rex

Subject: Potential "Jail Bait,"

Date: DEC 06


Briefing


On SAT 09 DEC 06, "O.M.R." finally got the chance to engaged and try and number close "T.H.S.S." The location she works in is very slow so "O.M.R." entered into a mundane conversation about Christmas, shopping, and the cute baby blue Northface coat she just bought. Here's the attempt at the number close.

O.M.R.: Well, I have to get going now. Can I call you? (This is a rookie mistake and "O.M.R." knows better. Instead of TELLING "T.H.S.S." to give me her contact information, "O.M.R." ASKED "T.H.S.S." for contact information. "O.M.R." but himself in a supplicant role momentarily giving "T.H.S.S." control of the situation.)

THE HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR: HUH???? (bad sign,)

O.M.R.: Can I call you?

T.H.S.S.: Why? (Right here "O.M.R." knows he's "dead in the water," and he's not going to number close. Though "O.M.R." has been shot down, he continues with the conversation.)

O.M.R.: So I can speak to you on the phone. (Another rookie mistake. Instead of this rather weak and lame response, something cocky and funny would've been appropriate.)

T.H.S.S.: Do you know how old I am?

O.M.R.: You're 18.

T.H.S.S.: No, I'm 17. I just turned 17 last month. ("O.M.R." is stunned. "O.M.R." could of sworn that when "T.H.S.S." told "O.M.R." her age and that she specifically said 17. If "O.M.R." would've knew that she was 16 going on 17, "O.M.R." would've never established contact and attempt to engage due to legalities. "O.M.R." feels that it's mendacity on the part of "T.H.S.S." to extricated herself from the situation and eliminate any chances for "O.M.R." to proceed.)

O.M.R.: That's okay, I'll just put you on an eleven month plan.

T.H.S.S.: (Laughs) That's okay. Besides, I'm kinda like talking to someone.


Analysis


"O.M.R." failed to establish enough rapport with "THE HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR." Though she was friendly and responsive to "O.M.R." "O.M.R." also failed to connect with "T.H.S.S." "O.M.R." also didn't engage in any kino and "O.M.R." also failed to make himself an object of interest and desire. "O.M.R." also didn't demonstrate any value. The fact that "T.H.S.S." is "talking to someone," isn't relevant. It implies that she likes somebody, maybe has had sex with this individual and she waiting on him to make it "official." "O.M.R." questions the existence of another party simply because "T.H.S.S." never mentioned him before.


Summary


Though the mission failed and "O.M.R." felt uneasy and embarrassed at being shot down, all and all it was a good experience. "O.M.R." clearly has to "shake the rust off," and perfect his number closing game. In six months "O.M.R." hopes that out of 20 approaches, 10 have correct contact information and out of those 10, 5 are conquered. Thoughts and opinions are greatly appreciated.

Mission Results: MISSION FAILED

To: The Pick Artists of MPUA

From: Omnipotens Maximus Rex

Subject: "THE NEG MAN" Fucked Rex Up

Date: JUN 07


Briefing

It was the third week in June and Rex had just gotten back into NYC on the 6th. I was going to meet my boy, "THE NEG MAN" on Austin St. in Forest Hills. (FYI those visiting NYC, Austin St. is a VERY TARGET RICH LOCATION.) Anyway, Rex happened to have on my black suit with a black button up and shades. My peacocking style is basically going to be "pimp lite." Suits, blazers, hats, wingtips, loafers, ascots, and smoking jackets. No loud colors. It will be very tasteful, but forgive my digression. "THE NEG MAN" (unbeknownst,) to me had arranged a blind date for me. No, he didn't set with a U.G. or a F.G., actually babygirl was cute. She was a dark skinned chick with a very sexy and soft southern accent. Nice rack, I'd say about a 38 C, no visible tats, and SHE WAS WEARING HER NATURAL HAIR. You'd have a better chance finding WMD in Iraq, than you would finding a African American woman without a weave in her hair, to say Rex was pleased is an understatement.

During the sarge, everything flowed nicely and it went by the book. As a matter of fact, "THE NEG MAN" said, Rex needs to conduct every sarge the way I conducted this one. She was making eye contact and laughing at "O.M.R.'S" one liners. I initiated kino by asking to closely examine her manicure and ya boy had my hand in hers, then he gave her hand a slight squeeze, then I rolled her fingers between my index finger and my thumb, then I let go of her hand. The conversation was mostly fluff talk, but I did use this line from The Game.

O.M.R.: You know Alexis, you're a cute chick.

Alexis: Why thank you. You're nice looking too. I like the way your bread is all trimmed up.

O.M.R.: Thanks. I'll be sure to tell my barber. Anyway, you're attractive and all, (Alexis have a big ass Kool-Aid grin on her face,) BUT, (here comes the neg and pointing to some other hot chick,) that chick over there is just as cute as your are. Beauty is common it's something that you'’re either born with or you get from a plastic surgeon. Other than looks, what other qualities do you have?

Then she listed some of her other qualities. I continued on with fluff talk and kino and eventually number closed. However, this is when the problems ensued. "O.M.R." got her number on a Friday night. We all know the rules in regards to when to call a chick after you get the number. So Rex calls on Tuesday to try to hook up a priming date. I reach her while she's at work and she says to call later that day. I call back no answer. Strike One. I call on Thursday. I get her on the phone, she says to call back in ten minutes. Ten minutes go by, I call no answer. Strike Two. One of the things that's fucking me up is I don't have a phone. As a matter of fact I still don't have one. I KNOW!!! I NEED A PHONE!!!....anyway. I happen to be at "THE NEG MAN'S" house a Saturday, so I leave Alexis a message saying that if she wanted to kick it to call me at "THE NEG MAN'S" house so we could make arrangements to hang Saturday or Sunday. No phone call. STRIKE THREE, YOU'RE OUT!!!! What the idiot fucking bitch does do is call "THE NEG MAN" a week later to apologize for not returning my calls. She supposedly was "busy," but we could hang out as FRIENDS, and naturally I never called her back.

"THE NEG MAN" disagrees, but I think he fucked me up and here's how. He explained to Alexis that Rex had just gotten back to NY and "He didn't have my shit together," I didn't have a phone, I lived in a room, and I worked at Marshalls. All of this is in the back of her head. And subconsciously she's thinking, "Damn this muthafucka is doing bad and can't do shit for me and my situation. Never mind the fact that she's moved three times in the past few years and while she's in New York, she's sleeping in some old guy's room while he sleeps on the couch. "THE NEG MAN" said she couldn't be worried about you not having my shit together, because SHE DIDN'T HAVE HER SHIT TOGETHER!!! I tried explaining to him that didn't matter. A woman even if she's "po', broke and strugglin'," and is living in the projects, she's going to want potential suitor to be doing better than she is. It goes back to the evolutionary thing about women wanting security and having their men able to provide for them. Also, "THE NEG MAN" tried to hook one of my other pals up with Alexis. My boy DT wasn't feeling Alexis and thought that she was "too clingy." He cut her off and the cat-string theory went into effect. After removing himself as a potential suitor, she chased after him until he eventually cussed her out.

To: The Pickup Artists of MPUA

From: Omnipotens Maximus Rex

Subject: She Didn't Have to Lie to Me

Date: 13 JUL 07

WARNING: LONG ASS BRIEFING


"And the rules must be obeyed, because they work." The Game Penetrating The Secret Society Of Pick Up Artists, by Neil Strauss

"HONEY" was the last remnant from my AFC days and she has a tendency to pop in and out of Rex's life. One November afternoon in 2004, she popped up in a net cafe I was in and in a playful manner she picked up my phone and walked off with it. "O.M.R." was about to whoop her ass, until I realized it was her. We talked for a bit and come to find out she was doing a paper for school and "HONEY" needed help with it. Rex being the nice guy that he his decided to help her. Bad, bad, and very bad. By extending myself Rex found himself "helping," "HONEY" on lot of her assignments for school.

As ya previously stated in his initial field report about "HONEY", she's a a big freak, I mean porno flick nasty. and one of the things that I liked about her (and Rex hopes to find in another chick,) is that she would come on like a light switch. There was none of that bullshit with romance, foreplay, and mood setting. It seem as soon as figured out she was horny, she was ready to go. The problem was all "HONEY" ever wanted ole Rex to do was to eat her pussy. I didn't mind the few first times, but then after awhile it got fucking ridiculous. "HONEY'S" demeanor is that of an extremely selfish girl with a huge entitlement complex with a penchant for bratty and demanding behavior. (Rex assumes it's the black girl in her,) but at times she could be cool and fun to be with. However, her attitude is more towards the former as opposed to the later.

Due to some family issues, I had left NYC and go to California for almost two years, and during that time we kept in contact with her doing most of the calling. During those calls, she would always ask when I was coming back and say that she missed me. Like most of the guys on this site, we've all been through it with the ladies and it takes a lot for a us to actually start liking a woman and see her differently than the rest of the hoes running around out there. I figured that "HONEY" was different was because she would taking incentive to call me when I was three thousand miles away, Rex was impressed to say the lest. One of the things that I really disliked about "HONEY" is that she would constantly underestimated my intelligence and she felt that I was stupid. At times, when I would kick it with her, Rex would drift off and not catch what she was saying Rex also I has this habit of holding my right hand like he's a fucking retard. Because Rex wasn't interested in her fucking homework assignments (that she wanted me to do,) she would have to go over the instructions several times. In addition, Rex has thick California accent, (think Ice Cube or Snoop Dogg,) people in NYC think I'm from South Down. I'm not. I'm from the San Francisco Bay Area and I also speak with a slow drawl, but forgive Rex's digression. Anyway, she took that to mean, I was slow and she would from time to time ask me if Rex was indeed slow. Never mind the fact we've had deep ass conversations that I knew went over her head. Besides, how slow could have Rex been, "HONEY" always wanted me to do her homework.

The trouble started when we had agreed earlier this year to be roomies and for Valentine's Day Rex got her a card. I fucked up and didn't put her mom's apartment number on card so it came back. However, "HONEY" had moved into a new place. The thing is when Rex asked her for the address to the new place, she wouldn't give it to me. She said that she received mail at her mom's apartment. Red flag and Lie Number 1 "HONEY" told Rex that she moved back into her mother's house. According to "HONEY" she couldn't make the rent. However, when I was still in CA, (during causal conversation,) "HONEY" mentioned that she gotten a bed. I've been to her mom's apartment, (which was a two bedroom.) When "O.M.R." asked "HONEY" why did she get a bed since there was no for it at her mom's, she gave me a bullshit response. I asked her where did she put the bed, "HONEY" said at her dad's house, Lie Number 2. During the interim, "HONEY" "acquired," a new apartment, but when I asked for the address to the apartment, "HONEY" had moved back into her mother's house, Lie number 3. June 7th. Rex is back in NYC and "HONEY" comes over that morning and I do my usual thing with her. Then I notice a tat on her ass that wasn't there when I left. It said "Cav's." Of course, it's either a dude she was fucking with while Rex was gone or her current boyfriend. When "O.M.R." inquires about it, she gave some bullshit story about it being part of her dad's last name. I'm thinking to myself, "On your ass, bitch!!! Maybe on your arm or the small on of your back, but you wouldn't put your dad's name on your ass." Lie Number 4.

We hook up for dinner and here's the thing, "HONEY" doesn't tell me where to meet her. So I get off at Beach 59th St (a subway station in Far Rockaway,) and I to go to her mother's and ring the bell, no answer. So I call and I ask "HONEY" to buzz me up, then she says she doesn't live with her mother. Rex is livid. I now realize that this bitch has been lying to me the whole fucking time. Rex even more pissed because he spent $20 on some roses. Rex goes to Mott Ave (the last stop on the A train,) and wait on "HONEY." It's now it's 7 o'clock. I once took "HONEY" out before and she left me waiting at the Beach 25th train station for an hour. No more of that shit. Rex is giving her fifteen minutes and not a minute more. Rex is thinking to himself, "I should give these roses to some other chick right in front of her. Maybe the other chick would appreciate the gesture." Dinner is cool and we go to The Door Jamaican place on Baislely Blvd. During dinner, Rex sarcastically asks "HONEY" how she was going to explain those roses to her boyfriend when she got home. "HONEY" replied was that she lived with her friend Jackie.Now what she said made no sense and I should of commented on it.

As we parted for the night, "HONEY" mentioned that she was going to ride the van to her mom's house. Rex is thinking to himself, "Why doesn't she just ride the train with me to Beach 59th St?" Lie Number 5. "HONEY" Like "O.M.R." said earlier, "HONEY" is an extremely selfish and demanding bitch with an entitlement complex. Rex has taken her out two times since I've been back, but when ya boy asked her to take me to go see "Fantastic Four," or "Transformers," she would say "It's the guy's responsibility to pay for the date," and our last few conversations have left a bitter fucked up taste in Rex's mouth. They all ended with me saying the same damn thing. "This bitch is fucking annoying." "Who in the fuck does she think she is?" "She's always asking me for money or some sort of favor." Rex is always telling "HONEY" that relationships are reciprocal, however, "HONEY" abjectly refuses to reciprocate. The only thing Rex getting from "HONEY" is pissed off and Rex going to have to rotate her out." I gave "HONEY," numerous breaks that I wouldn't of given any other chick either because Rex is in love with her or (at a minimum,) Rex has developed feelings for her that he's never had for anybody else, (with the exception of "BOO BOO") Rex factors that she's a squirter who loves porn has something to do with the fact he puts up with "HONEY'S" nonsense. Which brings us to the present.

The last few times I called "HONEY" to kick it, she questioned as to why? Now this is a chick who was always down to hang. Now all of sudden she's asking why I want to hang. On Sunday, she brings up that some dude lent her his Beamer and he has two other cars, including an Aston Martin. Rex wonders if these cars are new and if they're paid for and she made a reference to taking her "baby," back his car. Then this bitch has nerve to ask me for $100. Rex says, "I'm not like these weak ass New York niggas. I'm from Richmond, CA and we don't do that." "HONEY" responds with that O.M.R. was one of those "weak dudes," and she needs somebody that "has something for her." Never mind the fact she has a job with the Parks Department making $16 an hour. I thought bitches were suppose to be independent and didn't need a dude's car or dough in 2007?

Just yesterday I called her again to hang out., when I get her on the phone she tells me she's in the hospital in Rockville Center, (in Long Island.) Now Rex is worried about her dumb ass. I ask her does she want me to come out and "HONEY" says call back in two hours. Two hours later she doesn't answer her phone and Rex goes in for the night. In retrospect the hospital thing was probably fantasy and bullshit. Why didn't she just go to a hospital in Rockaway? Just a few hours ago, I call to see how she was doing and I to try to hang with her before she went to work. Again, she says call back and I call back. "HONEY" answers and hangs up. Rex is standing on the street before Guy R. Brewer Ave and Jamaica Ave. Guy Brewer is the street the vans to Far Rockaway are on. I stand on the street few a few minutes debating to make the call. Finally, I'm like "Fuck it." and I call. I get her on the phone, the bitch says "I'm on the phone with my boyfriend's grandmother. I'll call you back."

The thing is my phone is broken and she knows it and that was Lie Number 6. Rex isn't pissed off about all those assignments he did for her. He's not pissed off about $20 I gave her school books. Rex isn't not pissed about that $75 bottle of perfume I bought for when I left California. O.M.R. isn't upset about the South Beach diet books he sent to her for Christmas. Rex isn't even upset about never fucking this bitch. Rex knows the rules to The Game and I willingly and knowingly went against them. The end result is on Rex and Rex readily accept the consequences of disobeying the rules. It's the lying that has me pissed!!!!! There was no need for it. "HONEY" and Rex were never in a relationship and I had to remind her that once. (Another story for another time.) Yet and still, she was acting as if she had something to hide from me. I knew for awhile now she had a boyfriend or was at least fucking somebody else, but why lie to ole Rex about it? It goes to show you what regard she held me in and the importance she put on our "friendship."

When Rex swore off single mothers, (Rex tired "unsuccessfully he may add,") on three separate occasions to hook up with single mothers. The final straw beginning when this chick's child interrupted my sex. Now after defying the rules and regulations of The Game, ya boy comes away feeling bitter and used by somebody I thought to be my friend. My best friends and even my own dad told me to leave "HONEY" alone. I thought she could be the cool chick that I was used to hanging with, however, this incident and another that recently happened has shown me yet again, that THESE BITCHES AREN'T ABOUT SHIT!!!! You try and be nice, romantic, caring, cool, understanding, and all that other shit bitches claim they want, but women can't even give you the FUCKING COMMON COURTESY to be truthful to guys that they claim to be just friends with. The rules HAVE TO BE OBEYED!!!! ALWAYS!!!! Rex isn't going to start lying to bitches. Lying isn't necessary, nor is it essential to be a pickup artist. What Rex isn't going to do is give bitches gifts or buy them meals, unless I'm buying a meal for closing purposes. For now one I'm treating chicks they way they seem to want to be treated, like shit. I'm not ruling out a relationship, but a chick is going to have to show me something in other for me to see her as something more than a living breathing, interactive do-me doll.

To: The Pickup Artists of MPUA

From: Omnipotens Maximus Rex

Subject: The Inexcusable and Brick Walls

Date: SEP 07


Briefing


"THE NEG MAN" and ya boy are on 47th between 7th and 8th Ave. It's a little early so we're looking for some spots to fall into. As we pass the China Club, there's a four set outside of the club, three chicks and a "sweet dude." Then the unbelievable happens, this dark skin, chesty, something, with a "curly fry," weave says "Hi," to ole Rex. Mind you after the Spanish mamis, dark skin chesty chicks are my favorite. Not only did she say "Hi," she was smiling. No need for openers because she just opened me. So what does good ole Rex do?

A) Stop, engage, and number close.

B) Stop, engage, and bounce to another location.

C) Go into the China Club with her and her group. Isolate The Target and fuck close in some dark corner of the club.

D) Return her greeting and keep it moving.

If you guess "D," then you're right and feel free to chastise me. I got to the corner of 47th and 8th and realized what the fuck I had just done. I'm the first to complain about how hostile black women are and here I am ignoring obvious IoI's. This is ABSOLUTELY INEXCUSABLE!!!!! At times I'm in my own little world and I don't pay attention to the obvious. Would I had number closed? Maybe not, but when a chick, especially a black HB 8 speaks to you first and is smiling like the Kool-Aid Man, you've got to follow up just off of g.p.

My problem is the demonstrating value and opening sets, however, I would say my sticking is more with the demonstrating value. My problem with opening sets is that I'll revert back to AFC status and lose confidence and I'll be worried about her rejecting me. The only cure to this problem is to go in set and not worry about getting shot down. Like Mr. Fingers and Louis and Copeland said, "that's no less "No," I'll hear on my way to an eventual "Yes." To solve this problem I'll just have to remember what Mystery said about your not trusting your feelings because they'll only fuck you up at this stage.

This is my real sticking point. After I open the set. I hit a wall and I run out of shit to say. Actually I run out of pertinent shit to say. Now I can go on and on about politics, current events, pop culture, music, why that wack-ass "Soulja Boy," song is going to put rap back ten years. Why is DC bringing back the Multiverse? but that shit isn't going to help me number close, let alone fuck close. I'm good with the kino and the negs. I just need suggestions on demonstrating value and being the guy this chick was to suck and fuck later that night or maybe at week's end.

To: The Pickup Artists of MPUA

From: Omnipotens Maximus Rex

Subject: Christmas Night Sarging

Date: 25 DEC 07

Briefing

Tom Leykis says that his students have four big nights, Thanksgiving, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve, and Valentine's Day. According to Leykis, these are easy lay nights. Chicks are depressed that they're alone for these holidays and are in need of love and affection,especially on Valentine's Day. On Valentine's Day, (according to Leykis,) women are susceptible to to "revenge fuckin'."

Personally, ole Rex didn't have anything planned for Christmas other than reading than reading "The History of The Peloponnesian War." Though my boy Matt did invite me to go to the movies with him and the Mrs. However, lo and behold, I get a call from my trusty wing, "THE NEG MAN" (so called because of his extraordinarily adroit use of the neg.) Rex wasn't counting in hearing from him, but apparently he was back in town because his girl got drunk, passed out on the bathroom floor, and forgot to feed the cats. So he drove from NJ back to Flushing to make sure the felines got their nourishment for the night.

We hit up the Whiskey Bar which is on 47th and 7th Ave in Times Square, being that's is very early, (around 9:30,) we avoid the cover. (Note to those in the NYC Tri-State Area: If you get to the Whiskey Bar early, you can avoid the cover charge.) Unfortunately, due to it being Christmas and 9:30, The Whiskey Bar wasn't even target poor, it was target dead. So we leave the venue to find a more target rich location.

We walked down to the China Club, but it either hadn't opened yet or it was closed for the holiday. Then "THE NEG MAN" opens a two-set. A blonde and a brown-haired chick. (The blonde bore a resemble to Jamie-Lynn Spears,)

"THE NEG MAN" does a little recon and finds out the targets are tourists from Florida visiting friends in NYC for the holiday. He then immediately disqualifies himself as a suitor with the "I'm gay," line and "O.M.R." being the good wing that he is backs up "THE NEG MAN'S" story by saying that "Yeah. We've been in a relations ship for twelve years." "THE NEG MAN" does a little recon and finds out the targets are tourists from Florida visiting friends in NYC for the holiday.

"THE NEG MAN" and I originally thought that Raquel and Desiree were sisters, but come to find out they were mother and daughter. Raq is the blonde that looked like Jamie-Lynn Spears and is twenty-two, about 135 and 5' 3". Her mom Desiree, had green eyes, brown hair, huge rack, same height as her daughter, maybe she was about 125-135 and she's thirty-nine. Though she's looks like she's about thirty. As we're walking down the street back to the Whiskey Bar, Raquel breaks out a cigarette and O.M.R. uses this opportunity to neg her,

O.M.R.: You're going to smoke in front of your mom?

Raq: Yeah. She doesn't care.

O.M.R.: But still that's your mother and you should show her more respect by not smoking in front of her. You're such an inconsiderate child. (Raq's response was basically, "Oh Well.")

The four of us reach the club, the coats come off and we get to see how these ladies are built and proportioned and Raquel is a little bit on the pudgy side. She has a little bit of a roll action going on, however nothing ridiculous. Desiree had a nicer shape, and a much bigger rack than her daughter. As intel would later reveal Desiree does squats as she would say to "keep the cellulite off of her ass." "O.M.R." commented on her boots and asked her why she didn't have her pants tucked inside of her boots. She told "O.M.R." that the pants she had on were capris. Then "O.M.R." goes into the conversation about how everybody can't wear capris, how a woman has to be properly proportioned to wear them, and they have nice thighs. Desiree comments on hers and "O.M.R." gives her thigh a squeeze. "O.M.R." has to admit that my target had some pretty firm thighs. It was very exciting none the least.

Despite the fact that Raq said she only goes for black and Spanish guys, "THE NEG MAN," successfully number closed. Not to be racial, but white guys that grow up in the suburbs have certain mannerisms about them that some women perceive as them being soft and passive. In the case of "THE NEG MAN" we grew up in a ethnically mixed cities of San Pablo and Richmond, California, (which are working class suburbs of Oakland.) "O.M.R." and "THE NEG MAN" have been friends for almost thirty years so and we've shared a lot of the same friends, some of which were from some pretty rough areas. This isn't to say that white guys are soft, they aren't; however, if you grow up in an area where you have to have an alpha demeanor to avoid being fucked with. You're going to have a certain "swagger," about yourself. That's what white chicks who go for black and Spanish dudes like about them. It isn't the fact their thugs or blockboys, it's the mannerisms, swagger, and confidence, that they perceive them to having. Anyway....Rex just find it amusing that "THE NEG MAN" can close all of these white girls who supposedly never go for white guys. Meanwhile, "O.M.R." is engaging in kino with Desiree by asking about her rings, grabbing her hand and running my thumb across her fingers and things are going well. While the fluff talking is going on, she lets ole Rex sip her vodka and coke. "O.M.R." says it's cool but he likes that. At this point, "O.M.R." puts his arm around her and he points to the Macallen 25 yr old. At this point in the sarge, Desiree is referring to "O.M.R." with terms of endearment such as "honey," and "baby." Then "O.M.R." says, "You have the prettiest hair. and "O.M.R." grabs a piece of her hair and runs his fingers down it, with this Desiree blushes and smiles.

By now, "THE NEG MAN'S" girlfriend arrives with her girlfriend, then "THE NEG MAN" merges the two sets and everybody is getting along like old friends. Not wanting to give Desiree too much attention, "O.M.R." goes and does something he rarely does and actually doesn't like, "O.M.R." dances with "THE NEG MAN'S girlfriend's girlfriend. After leaving Desiree alone for about fifteen/twenty minutes, "O.M.R." goes back into set. We talk more and she tells me about her rottweiler that died of cancer and starts crying. Keep in mind, "O.M.R.'S" arm is around her arm her and she has her head on "O.M.R'S" shoulder. This is one of "O.M.R.'S" sticking points, he starts thinking about things too much. We all know what the next move is, however, "O.M.R." is actually thinking about whether or not it's appropriate to kiss close. This is "O.M.R." second opportunity to kiss-close, the first being when I told her she had pretty hair. While debating on escalating things, Desiree goes to the bathroom.

"THE NEG MAN" is dancing with his girl and her girl and notices "O.M.R." sitting on the couch. He waves "O.M.R." over to where he is and asks "O.M.R." what's doing and kindly reminds "O.M.R." that we don't wait on chicks. Gotta love your wing. "O.M.R." number closes and fluffs some more. Then we decide to break out. "O.M.R." tells Desiree that he's leaving and kiss her on the cheek. "THE NEG MAN" says, "You need to kiss close that broad." While "THE NEG MAN" his girl, and her girl get their coats, O.M.R. tells Desiree that it was cool to meet her, that he hopes to see her again and to call him, then O.M.R. kiss her on the lips. It wasn't a passionate intimate kiss, but a kiss on the lips none the less. Actually, this was first time O.M.R. ever kissed a chick on the lips he just met. "THE NEG MAN'S" response was, "It's a kiss close none the less." "O.M.R." disagrees.


Analysis

"THE NEG MAN" says that "O.M.R." needs to escalate kino and push things further and says that "O.M.R." is analogous to Joe D. (the fat kid from The Pickup Artist,) in that "O.M.R." will open strong, neg effectively, build rapport, but doesn't move into the comfort phase and use kino. "THE NEG MAN" also says that "O.M.R." is a little too stiff and needs to relax."THE NEG MAN" also says "O.M.R." needs to conduct himself in set the same way he did when he hollered at Alexis.

To: The Pickup Artists MPUA

From:Omnipotens Maximus Rex

Subject: Tell Her What to Do

Date: DEC 07


Briefing

This is something y'all need to incorporate into your life and especially into your sarging, that is telling women to do stuff. It's amazing what women will do if you just simply tell them to do it. Awhile back, "THE NEG MAN" and I were in a club and I peeped a two set, a thick black chick and petite Spanish chick. I was dealing with my normal case of approach anxiety and opened this dude that was "orbiting," the black chick, (this was the same chick I wanted to open.) We get into a mundane conversation about the Giants playoff game, (the one against Green Bay.) I had opened the black girl earlier, but she had her bitch shield up, and I had also tried to the open the Spanish chick too with the "hairstyle opener." She had her hair up and I asked why she didn't have it down. I negged her by saying it would look better down, but I didn't get much of response.

As I was talking to "THE NEG MAN" and other guy, the Spanish chick came back with drinks. As she passed I said, "Where's my drink? You forgot mine. That's hella rude." Babygirl asked me what I wanted and I told her a scotch. Then I go back to conversing with "The NEG MAN" and the other dude. Then I notice something out of my peripheral vision, the Spanish chick was at the bar. Of course, I'm shocked because when I suggested to the Spanish chick she buy ole Rex a drink, I did it half in jest. Then I say to "THE NEG MAN” "NEG MAN"” she's really going to buy me a drink." Here's where I fucked up, to make it seem like I wasn't waiting for her to come back, I went to the bathroom, when I came back, my black label was waiting for me.

Before this I dabbling with the Mystery Method. I saw the potential and incorporated bits and pieces of "The Model," to my sarges. When I saw that chick at the bar buying me a drink, that made me a convert. Here was a chick who I said no more than two sentences to, buying a complete stranger a $9 black label. I then realized that tall, pasty, Canadian that wore ridiculous furry top hats, and black nail polish knew what the fuck it was he was talking about. Like I always say, Mystery hasn't lied to me yet. I'm sure there's something in the Mystery Method that isn't applicable to me, I have yet to find out what that something is. As I sat there trippin' off of what just transpired, I muttered "Damn," to myself. "THE NEG MAN" asked, "What's up? I told him, "I should have told her no ice."

To: The Pickup Artists of MPUA

From: Omnipotens Maximus Rex

Subject: OPERATION GREENER PASTURES

Date: JUL 08


Description


Race: Black

Ethnicity: Unknown

Height: 5' ft

Weight: (Estimated between 145-160 lbs)

Age: 20

Complexion: Medium (E.g. Condelezza Rice)

Eyes: Brown

Hair Color: Black

Hair length: Shoulder length

Hair Texture: Unknown (However, she wore her hair in a permanent)

Known Piercings: Ears

Known Tattoos: Right arm: Four rose buds with her mother's name in script below the rose buds. Right ankle: The target's name in script. Tramp Stamp: "Respect Me," in script across the small of the target's back.

Measurements: Possibly 38 DD (or bigger,) 32 or 34 waist, 29 or 30 hips

Hot Babe Rating: 6.5

Code Name: "RESPECT ME"


WARNING: LONG ASS BRIEFING


Note: "O.M.R." was hollering at "RESPECT ME" AND "PEACHES" at the same time

"O.M.R." must admit due field mistakes that the success of both of these missions are greatly in doubt. Perhaps some of you will be able to use "O.M.R.'S" mistakes (and avoid them,) towards your own success. I violated Leykis' 101 rule as it pertains to sarging co-workers. Being that "O.M.R." doesn't give a jolly goddamn about is current working situation, "O.M.R." opened the sets. But be advised, sarging co-workers can lead to a sexual harassment suit, civil action, or job termination.

Being a connoisseur of breasts, (especially large ones,) "O.M.R." was immediately attracted to "RESPECT ME." It needs to be noted that O.M.R. is also attracted to short women with large racks. Despite not having any ass at all, (it all went to "RESPECT ME'S titties and stomach,) "RESPECT ME" has a pleasant, affable, and playful personality. If she dropped 30-40 lbs "RESPECT ME" could easily gain a full point on the Hot Babe rating scale. The opening of the set was textbook, and nothing of note to comment on except that "RESPECT ME" made a comment in reference to oral sex and "O.M.R." noted that the target had a proclivity to touch her chest. On another occasion before the start of the work shift "O.M.R." had another opportunity to engage the target. On this occasion "O.M.R." teased "RESPECT ME" about being chubby. As we were talking "RESPECT ME" made a comment about "O.M.R." not liking fat girls. "O.M.R." said, "I don't. You're a lil' chubby, but it's cute on you. I like chubby chicks." "O.M.R." then proceeded to pinch "RESPECT ME'S" love handle. "O.M.R." then discovered that one of his co-workers was trying to sarge "RESPECT ME." The problem was the co-worker is absolutely clueless to the ways of women. "O.M.R." tried to enlighten the co-workers to the ways of the pick up artist, but the co-worker rejected the philosophy outright by saying that books like The Game and The Mystery Method would "bore," him because they read like "textbooks." In addition the co-worker said, "he wasn't that type of guy," in regards to the "spinning plate," theory. The co-worker had opportunities to sarge "RESPECT ME" but squandered the opportunity by not them by not number closing and bouncing to other locations when he had "RESPECT ME," as a captive audience. When "O.M.R." asked the co-worker why he didn't take her for drinks or a meal after work. His reply was, "I don't know where to go." O.M.R." said to the co-worker, "Dude. You need to get out more."

Stone Cold Creamery


One evening work ended early and "O.M.R." was outside talking to some co-workers when "RESPECT ME" left the building. "O.M.R." was conflicted. Technically the target was still my co-worker's set, but "O.M.R." realized that the co-worker didn't know what the fuck he was doing and "O.M.R." knew that the set would eventually stall. In addition, "O.M.R." knew that co-worker wouldn't understand. Conflicted as "O.M.R." was "O.M.R." quickly caught up to "RESPECT ME" and proceed to engage in fluff talk. The fluff talk yielded useful intel, "O.M.R." found out that "RESPECT ME" has a 42 year old "sugar daddy/boyfriend." As a matter of fact, the target had bought him a gift, (a Scarface beach towel.) Feeling guilty, but also having a feeling of "Well my co-worker needs to have better game that "O.M.R'S." O.M.R. bounced "RESPECT ME" to Cold Stone Creamery at Astor Pl. located in the East Village of Manhattan.


NOTE TO RAFC'S:

The most effective way to get your target to agree to a "date," is to ask her right then and there when you have her right in your face. It's IMPERATIVE that you have pre selected bounce locations in mind and you know their hours of operation. For those of you in NYC, the Cold Stone location on 42nd between 7th and 8th is great. Sunday to Thursday, it's open till 12 AM on Fridays and Saturdays it's open till 1 AM. Of course "O.M.R." didn't ask "RESPECT ME" come with him for ice cream, "O.M.R." TOLD her to come. Here's how the conversation went,

​O.M.R.: I'm going to the Creamery.

RESPECT ME: What's the Creamery?

O.M.R.: It's ice cream. The best ice cream you ever had in your life. Come with me.

RESPECT ME: OK.

The Creamery had its desired effect and the target loved it. Using Louis and Copeland's "What do you find romantic?" gambit, "O.M.R." gained more useful intel. Come to find out "RESPECT ME" didn't have any idea what was romantic because she never had anybody treat her in a romantic way. Despite being a project girl from Queensbridge, she desperately wants to be in a romantic, intimate relationship. As a matter of fact, the rationale for the "Respect Me" tramp stamp is because of her previous bad dealings with men, then we had this following exchange:

RESPECT ME: I just want a guy who'll treat me nice and respect me.

O.M.R.: So why do you go for bad boys and thugs who won't treat you nice?

RESPECT ME: I don't go for bad boys.

O.M.R.: Yes you do. Because if you didn't, the moment they disrespected you, you would stop fucking with them.

RESPECT ME: (smiling,) Yeah, you're right.

O.M.R.: Damn right, I'm right. I'm right three fifths of the time.

From Cold Stone, we walked up W. 8th towards the Village. "RESPECT ME" likes to shop, but it was late and the stores where closing. The target started feeling nauseous, so we stopped and she sat at a stoop and from there we sat in park. After finding a place to sit in the park, O.M.R. went to the store for mints. Upon returning, "RESPECT ME" was engaged in conversation with the park bums and a former park bum. This was one of my two mistakes for the night. "O.M.R." let her talk to park bums "ENTIRELY TOO LONG!!!!" The other being my sticking point, not enough kino. From the park, we stopped in a sex shop. "RESPECT ME" commented on the dildos and vibrators being "too big," for her and on some of the outfits. We parted ways for the night with, "O.M.R." kissing "RESPECT ME" on the cheek and getting a hug. "O.M.R." invited "RESPECT ME" to his place, but she declined, citing that she had to go to the "sugardaddy/boyfriend's," house.


Kino Rapport

"RESEPCT ME" is a "touchy feely," type of girl. Before we went to Cold Stone. The target was constantly trying to touch "O.M.R.", but "O.M.R." "laid it back," and wouldn't let her or he would make a C&F comment about no free touches. Now, when we sat near each other, "RESPECT ME" would touch or tickle O.M.R. On one occasion, "RESPECT ME" was engaging in kino with "O.M.R." "O.M.R." returned the favor by running his hand up the target's calf and "RESPECT ME" smiled approvingly.


"O.M.R." Likes His Pimpin'


As previously stated the obstacle in the accomplishment of this mission is the sugardaddy/boyfriend. Further intel revealed that the sugardaddy/boyfriend has a wife, 3 kids and another kid who'll be here in two months. "RESPECT ME" believes The Obstacle when he says he doesn't "like his wife," anymore. When "RESPECT ME" told "O.M.R." of this particular situation, "O.M.R." responded with, "What kind of cluster fuck did you put yourself in the middle of?" When "O.M.R." was discussing with a co-worker (not the previously fore mentioned co-worker.) the details of this particular sarge. The co-worker told "O.M.R." that "RESPECT ME" was at the sugardaddy's/boyfriend's house not only with the kids, BUT HIS WIFE ALSO!!! Despite the fact the sugardaddy/boyfriend is trickin', you have to respect his game. To have your pregnant wife, your broad, and your kids all in the apartment hanging out, now that's pimpin'. Nothing of note is going on except that "RESPECT ME" likes "O.M.R." to walk her to McDonald's or 7/Eleven during the lunch break. The problem is the target is on the phone during the walks and "O.M.R." must put this to a stop. The next time it happens "O.M.R." will inform the target that she requested his company, and in exchange "O.M.R." expects 100% of her attention. During one of these trips. The target is talking to the sugardaddy/boyfriend, then to some guy she wants to meet. At the end of the conversation with the sugardaddy/boyfriend. She says, "I love you." At the end of the conversation with the other guy, "O.M.R." says jokingly, "That's why I can't mess you. You have too many boyfriends." "RESPECT ME" says, "I don't have a boyfriend." Ironically, when "O.M.R." contacted The target to hang out, she says, "I can't, I'm with my boyfriend right now." maybe dude was right there with her. "O.M.R." would like to mention that he left a message on "RESPECT ME'S" voicemail and the call wasn't returned. It needs to be noted that it was the target that asked for "O.M.R.'S" contact number.



To: The Pickup Artists of MPUA

From: Omnipotens Maximus Rex

Subject: Update: OPERATION GREENER PASTURES

Date: 13 AUG 08


Briefing


At 1222 HRS "O.M.R." is on his way to pick up his check from his bullshit job when low and behold he hears his name being called. Looking around he sees no one on the street, but notices "RESPECT ME" in the passenger seat of a black Cherokee with male driver. "O.M.R." figures it's the boyfriend, ("RESPECT ME" now refers to him as her boyfriend,) "O.M.R." initially plans on just waving and keeping it moving, but "RESPECT ME" calls him over. We fluff talk and I use the opportunity to use Mystery's "It's rude for you not to introduce me to your friend," line. "RESPECT ME" then introduces "O.M.R." her friend and we engage in more fluff talk. The target tells "O.M.R." that she called "O.M.R." yesterday, but she had to wrong number. "O.M.R." then gives "RESPECT ME" all of his contact information.

Come to find out, "RESPECT ME'S" quitting the job because her needs are being met and she'll find work elsewhere at her leisure. As "O.M.R." was leaving the job, "RESPECT ME" says that we can still kick it and her BF doesn't have her on "lock down," and all she does is hang out at home with him. When "O.M.R." said he would take her for ice cream, The target's eyes lit up when "O.M.R." confirmed it would be Cold Stone.


Analysis

There's a very good chance that "O.M.R." is in "RESPECT ME'S" friend zone, and the only way to find that out is by going on a date with her again and seeing if she rejects "O.M.R.S" advances. As Mystery said in "The Mystery Method," you have to gauge why a chick is telling why she has a boyfriend. "O.M.R." also has to keep in mind "Yeah, "RESPECT ME" maybe be living with dude, but that doesn't necessarily mean she wouldn't fuck around on him. It's all about how "O.M.R." presents it to her. All this will be found out on our next outing together. You have to wonder though, what kind of guy lets his live-in girlfriend talk to order dudes on the phone and kick it with them? Unless he doesn't give a fuck or he's that confident in his game. In the end that's what's it all about now, who has the bigger fame and the stronger, better game.


To: The PickupA Artists of MPUA

From: Omnipotens Maximus Rex

Subject: 'RESPECT ME" is Happy

Date: 13 AUG 08


Briefing

Rex is in the break room at his bullshit job when at 1225 HRS "RESPECT ME" shows up to pick up her last check. "RESPECT ME" has a glow and demeanor "O.M.R." hasn't seen in her since she first started at the job being that she's is a naturally happy smiley type of chick. "RESPECT ME" has a carefree type of attitude about herself. ("O.M.R." will add it's very sexy...forgive "O.M.R.'S" digression,) as she worked at the job, the smile and the happiness disappeared. Upon quitting, her happy demeanor returns. "RESPECT ME" loudly and proudly exclaims. "I HAVE A BOYFRIEND WHO LOVES ME AND GIVES ME EVERYTHING I WANT! FUCK THIS JOB!"


To: The Pickup Artists of MPUA

From: Omnipotens Maximus Rex

Date: 14 AUG 08

Subject: Message Left


Briefing


On Thursday, (at 1725 HRS,) "O.M.R." is checking his messages, and at 0639 HRS, there's a message from "RESPECT ME." All "O.M.R." is able to decipher for the message is the following:

"O.M.R." this is "RESPECT ME." You'll have to excuse me for calling you so early...." From this point The target is speaking in such a low voice that "O.M.R." can't makes out what she's saying.


To: The Pickup Artists of MPUA

From: Omnipotens Maximus Rex

Subject: There Might be a Possibility of Gettting to Know " RESPECT ME" Carnally

Date: 14 AUG 08


Briefing

At 1745 HRS "O.M.R." returns "RESPECT ME'S" call and learns the following things:

1) "RESPECT ME" AND her boyfriend had an argument and she wanted to come over.

2) "RESPECT ME" feels that the "babies mama," is using the boyfriend and the boyfriend gives her "too much," money.

3) The boyfriend has some "Arab shiek, bin Ladin, Utah polygamist," sect shit going on because this dude has "RESPECT ME" the babies' mama (who by the way is 7 months pregnant) and 3 kids SHARING THE SAME FUCKING HOUSEHOLD!!!!! Is potna pimpin' or what!!!!!

3) The babies' mama is a "dyke."

At these revelations, "O.M.R." has to laugh. This girl's situation has turned into a bad TV sit com.

"O.M.R." then realizes that the set is very much open and it's time to close. "O.M.R." tries to set up a ice cream date for when "RESPECT ME" is finished getting her hair done, but she flakes out and doesn't call back.


Analysis

"O.M.R." thinks it's fair to say that the probability of a kiss close is extremely good and a fuck close is very good. Wish me luck.

To: The Pickup Artists of MPUA

From: Omnipotens Maximus Rex

​Subject: "Rex is Attracted to Pheromones"

Date: JUL 08


Description


Race: Black

Ethnicity: Unknown

Height: 5' 6"

Weight: (Estimated Between 150-165 lbs)

Age: 24

Complexion: Dark (E.g. Serena Williams)

Eyes Color: Grey contacts (Natural color: Unknown)

Hair Color: Black

Hair Length: Weave that comes to her shoulder blades. (Natural length: Unknown)

Hair Texture: Straight Weave (Natural Texture: Unknown)

Known Piercings: Ears and tongue

Known Tattoos: Right arm: "I Love My Mommy," in script. Tramp Stamp: Unknown tattoo across the small of the target's back.

Measurements: (Possibly 32 D 36 D, 32, or 34 waist, 30 or 32 hips,)

Hot Babe Rating: 6.5


WARNING: "O.M.R." HIGHLY DISCOURAGES THE SARGING OF CO-WORKERS! Sarging co-workers can lead to one or all three of the following scenarios:

1) Job Termination

2) Sexual Harassment suit

3) Civil action

Only sarge co-workers if you or your target is about to resign or is terminated from your current place of employment, or you really and truly don't give a fuck about that particular job.


Briefing


"PEACHES" was one of my former co-workers. Being that "O.M.R." is aroused by pheromones, after her looks "O.M.R." was turned on by the peach scented perfume that the target was wearing. When "O.M.R." mentioned to "PEACHES" that he was turned on by pheromones, she commented, "What are you? A tiger?" After physical appearance, personality comes into play and "O.M.R." is greatly attracted to women who are personable, affable, who are always happy, smiling, and "PEACHES" is all of the above. One of her best attributes is her very seductive and sexy smile that she always seemed to be flashing for the masses.

One day while at "O.M.R.'S" bullshit job, we were seated next to one another. Here Rex had an opportunity to engage in some fluff talk and neg the target a bit. "PEACHES" was leaning back in a chair and O.M.R. mentioned not to lean back too far because she might break the chair and fall down. "PEACHES" said, "That's okay, you'll pick me up." "O.M.R." said, "No I won't." Then "O.M.R." proceeded on with his work. The target just sat there kind of astounded that "O.M.R." said what he just said. Though "PEACHES" is on the chunky side, she's VERY PRETTY, and has a very sexy aura about herself. In addition, "PEACHES" dresses her ass off and accessorizes extremely well. With the banter between the two of us and the light kino that was going on, "O.M.R." made the move for the bounce. Of course, O.M.R. went for his "go to," bounce location, Cold Stone Creamery. "PEACHES" agreed and being that "O.M.R." got off of worked before she did, "O.M.R." decided to wait for her. Unfortunately, she got off a lot later than we both expected so The Creamery plan was scrubbed, we opted for McDonald's. The only thing that went on at McDonald's was intel gathering. "O.M.R." found out that the target has a master's degree in sociology and was trying to find out exactly where to ply her trade. "O.M.R." also engaged in some light kino and the date ended with a number close. The other thing of note that happened with "PEACHES" she invited "O.M.R." to walk with her 7/Eleven.

Change of Plans


"O.M.R." texted "PEACHES" on evening about meeting him for a bite to eat. She returned "O.M.R.'S" call and was more than happy than to join "O.M.R." for an evening out. "O.M.R." must admit he had an AFC flashback and he thought that "PEACHES" would pull a "no show." We had agreed to meet at the train station, then "O.M.R." started to second guess himself. "O.M.R." positioned himself outside of the job so he could see her leave. Then "O.M.R." realized what he was doing and then proceeded to the train station. At the train station (after "O.M.R." paid his fare,) "O.M.R." started to doubt that "PEACHES" should up again, so "O.M.R." decided to wait for "PEACHES" at the corner. As "O.M.R." was going down the stairs he saw "PEACHES" coming up the stairs and "O.M.R." turned around and met her upstairs. "O.M.R.S" plan was to take "PEACHES" to a cool bar on 14th St and 8th that had cheap food and beer. "O.M.R." then asked "PEACHES" where she kicked it at? The target replied in around the Times Square area. Somehow Dave and Buster's got into the conversation. Like a giddy little kid with a big ass smile on her face, "PEACHES" said, "I've never been to Dave and Buster's. Let go there."


We're This Far Apart


O.M.R." tries to avoid the Times Square area since the rents are more expensive in that part of town and merchants pass that expense on to the consumer. For example, a Number Two, (from McDonald's,) cost about $5.50, "O.M.R." wouldn't be surprised at the 42nd St McDonald's it's a .75 cents to a dollar more. "O.M.R." has $60 on him. So "O.M.R." is counting those pennies. On the weekend Dave and Buster's charge a cover. "O.M.R." isn't even in the place and "O.M.R." is already down 10 bucks. Fortunately, Dave and Buster's gives you a debit card to play the games.

"PEACHES" is a big kid and is really enjoying herself with the video games. Here's where "O.M.R." makes his first mistake of the evening, I love video games however, Rex enjoys the home versions. "O.M.R." was never into arcade games, so therefore he's is standing by watching "PEACHES" play the games. "PEACHES" asks "O.M.R." why he isn't joining in. "O.M.R." tells her he isn't into arcade games and "O.M.R." was watching those debit card balances. After some coxing, "O.M.R." joins in on the gaming.

After being seated for dinner, "O.M.R." takes a look at the menu and it's just as "O.M.R." suspected, overpriced food. Here's what saved "O.M.R." most of Dave and Buster's dining choices are hamburgers and French fries. Being that he a had burger and fries earlier in the day, "O.M.R." really didn't want to have the same meal again. So "O.M.R." opted for a $7 piece of very rich chocolate cake. Dinner conversation is mostly fluff talk. As with "RESPECT ME" "PEACHES" doesn't know what a romantic date is because nobody has never treated her in a romantic fashion.

"O.M.R." naturally has a dour expression on his face.and has been told by friend's he looks unhappy, sad, or depressed. So the target inquiries about "O.M.R.S" mood. "O.M.R." says he's fine and is enjoying "PEACHES" company. In the back of "O.M.R.'S" mind he's hoping something embarrassing something doesn't happen with the bill. With that in mind "O.M.R." isn't building comfort or escalating kino. Finally, the conversation turns to music. "PEACHES" is naming of the songs being played or some that's currently being played on the radio. "O.M.R." either doesn't like the songs or has never heard of them. Then "PEACHES" says, "I'm trying to find some common ground, but it seems we're this far apart." She illustrates this holding up her index fingers about a foot apart.

Now "O.M.R." is in panic mode and is thinking to himself, "Fuck. Something went wrong in my rapport building and now I'm back square one." It was if "PEACHES" were saying, "I like you. Give me a reason to allow myself to become more attracted to you." After this and especially when the bill came "O.M.R." became more relaxed, unfortunately the damage had been done. The evening end with a hug and kiss on the cheek and after "O.M.R." returned home, "O.M.R." called the target to let her know he got in okay. "PEACHES" agreed to second date, but knowing the nature of females, "O.M.R." knows that was all "Hollywood talk."

To: The Pickup Artists of MPUA

From: Omnipotens Maximus Rex

Subject: Updates on "BOO BOO", "PEACHES", AND "RESPECT ME"

Date: 11 SEP 10


Briefing


"RESPECT ME"

"RESPECT ME'S" phone ended up getting disconnected and I wasn't able to get in touch with her. The last time I saw her I was on my way to work and we hung out for a minute. I established a myspace page and I hit her up. The thing was too much time had elapsed and she had moved on. She would take forever to hit me back and every time she posted something on her myspace it was in reference to her being in love with her boyfriend. The last time I looked her page, she just had a kid.


"PEACHES"

"PEACHES" this is very interesting because I did something very right with "PEACHES." Again I managed to find a chick that ended up getting her phone disconnected. The thing is about a year ago she had left me a message on my voicemail saying she wanted to hook up. However, "PEACHES" is she's very bad at returning phone calls. During last winter, I saw her getting on the train and I thought it was her, but ya boy is hesitant to approach people unless I know for sure it's the person I think it is. By the time she recognized me, the train doors where closing. I should dig up her number or hit her Myspace or Facebook and see what happens.


"BOO BOO"

About three years ago I finally got back in contact with my "BOO BOO". Despite the fact she still has a few issues, (namely she likes to be checked from time to time,) "BOO BOO" is by far the classiest chick I ever fucked with."BOO BOO" is the living embodiment of a lady and she also did the classiest, nicest, and most compassionate thing a woman has ever done for or to me. She apologized for treating me the way she did and she apologized for fucking around on me. In retrospect, she appreciated everything I ever did for her. At the time she thought I was a pushover, but as she got older, went through some bad relationships, she as she put it "realized I was just being a man." When she said that, I realized that everything I did for her wasn't for not. She also told me if she was older, that things probably wouldn't of happened the way they did. I have to admit "BOO BOO" is my "oneitis." If I was in California, we'd probably be in a relationship. Even though she has a kid and is overweight, (what can I say, there's and exception to every rule, and she happens to be it.) We talk a couple times a week and there's something more to our relationship other than friendship. Then again, we were never friends to begin with. We met, fucked, and were boyfriend and girlfriend. When I go home I plan on fucking her fat ass. That's it with the updates, from here on out, all of my field reports will be current.

To: The Pickup Artists of MPUA

From: Omnipotens Maximus Rex

Subject: Statistical Categories

Date: 12 SEP 10


I'm going to break down my sarges in the following statistical categories,

Anal: BF

Approach: A (An approach is defined as every time I open my mouth to holler at chick.)

Blow Job: BJ

Date: D (A date is defined as meeting a chick any other time outside the initial meeting.)

Flake: FL

Fuck Close: FC

Hand Job: HJ

Insta-date: ID (Is define as bouncing a chick to another location after meeting her that same day.)

Kiss Close: KC

Number Close: #C

Number Faded: #F (A number fade is defined as a chick giving me her number, but never taking "O.M.R.'S" calls or agreeing to a date.)

Shot Down: SD

Stood Up: SU

Tittie Fuck: TF

Threesome: 3S


These are the totals of my sarges up to yesterday, the week ending 11 SEP 10 . I'm including the sarges in this journal and the yesterday's approaches.

A: 18, BF: 0, BJ: 1, D: 3, FC: 2, HJ: 3, ID: 1, KC: 1*, #C: 6, #F: 4, SD: 14, SU: 0, TF: 1, 3S: 1**

* Desiree (From Christmas Night Sarging,) When she was leaving "O.M.R." kissed her on the lips,but no tongue. ** I didn't get any head or have sex with "HONEY," nor "HONEY'S BEST FRIEND FOREVER," however, I did have a quasi sexual encounter with two chicks, I understand it's a gray area and appreciate the arguments against it not being so, but I'm going to include this encounter in the threesome category, Rex did denote the tryst with an asterisk.