FR - "London Travelers and Sexy Dance" - Friday Night 4/18/14

Tonight was one of my first nights back out. I had been taking a little hiatus, since my friends had been flaking/getting hooked on some of the first girls that nibbled their bait. They also had demonized me a little bit, since I'm more assertive in my approach, and they are interested in getting girls, but we are all also interested in self improvement and having some respect/love for other people.

I went out to my favorite dance hall, alone. The bouncer knew me, I had been a regular there. He didn't check my ID, smiled, and waved me in. Once inside, I danced with a couple cute girls. One of the girls was visiting from California for a wedding. We had a dance on the floor that was extremely fluid, and exciting. Afterwards, I went to find another dance partner. The way the dances work here is that your partner will typically walk back to where she was standing before you danced with her. She just goes back to where she is comfortable, and I think its generally pretty unconscious. If she is really interested in you, she'll stick around. Makes sense.

So I found two girls who were visiting from London, and was chatting them up. I told them they had to dance because there's a rule posted on the front door of the club that said "if you walk past a certain line, you have to dance." We smiled and laughed. One girl was smaller and more reserved in her body language and persona. The other was more full bodied. They seemed somewhat innocent. They weren't willing to dance yet, so I told them let's go outside and talk where it's quieter. We went outside, and chatted. They told me they walked everywhere, and I said I bet your leg muscles are getting pretty large, let me see. One lifted up her leg, and I squeezed her leg muscle. The other one wasn't really willing to, and muttered I'm not letting you touch my leg, but I ignored it and focused on touching her friends. It was all natural, and fun, then we went back inside and talked more.

Inside, the girl I danced with before was sitting at a table near ours. I went and asked her to dance. She probably saw me chilling with the other two girls. This dance was really sexy, and she was basically gyrating on me. It got me really turned on. I tried to kiss her, but she kind of tilted her head, she probably would've let me if I had tried again. After the dance, we went outside, and sat down at a table. She sat across from me, and I wish I had said come sit next to me but didn't. It really limited my KINO. We were in a rather public well lit spot, and we would've been more inconspicuous if she sat next to me. We held hands, and I was rubbing her legs under the table. Pretty soon, she said, "I need to go check on my friends." I said, "ok, but wait, I want to ask you something." We talked more then she went inside, and found her friends. She was starting to get really drunk, to the point where I felt sorry for her. We danced one more time, and she was fucking up her steps, and basically embarrassing me. I decided not to push it. I was done for the night. I could've went back to the London girls, but I didn't know how to work these two reserved girls. Only the small one was drinking, and they were definitely in observation mode. They had been at the far end of the club, but I had moved them to a table in the center.

Successes - I like how much fun I had tonight. It was cool to be connecting to people more and be less reaction seeking. I like that I unintentionally used the two girls from London as pivots, and created some social proof internally and externally. I like that I had a real sexy dance, and was ballsy enough to try to kiss this girl and massage her thighs. I like that I didn't try to pull the girl, because she was too drunk. Didn't immediately give into "I need to find my friends." It's a biological/mental impulse, and attention can be shifted elsewhere.

Learning points - When isolated with your lady friend, always have her sit close to you to make it easy for KINO. Don't stop trying to kiss after you get the cheek, be persistent. Approach more. There were a few other girls I could've approached before I left, that definitely would've been happy to have some good conversation/interaction.

~AVALO

FR+ - "Street Make-out and taco tongues" Saturday Night 4/19/14

Went to the house party of a earthy girl who I met at a natural medicine open house earlier in the day. Was feeling pretty content, and enjoying myself. Met two girls in the drive on the way in. One said she knew me, but I don't think we did, and I don't know why she said she did. Her friend was real young and an out there electronic music chick. We had a conversation about transcending our bodies once consciousness reaches a certain level, not really something I believe, but entertaining nonetheless. It was kind of a inner circle friend party, reminded me of my high school/early college days. The electronic music chick left with some dude to an electronic music show after we finished talking. I approached her friend who was spinning poi real briefly, and tried talking to her but she kind of blew me off. no biggy, I moved on to the earthy nature girl. She was revealing a kind of ditzy unbalanced side of herself, talking about the 2 drinks she had that afternoon and the weed she smoked mid-day, kind of unattractive to me. Earlier that night, I met her boyfriend who I thought would be some cool nature dude. He wasn't, he's this quiet nerdy guy who works at the 711 near my house. Later I was chilling w/ the birthday boy, who was actually the coolest one there. He had a good mellow, self respecting vibe. She came over and hugged me and the birthday boy. I said something, and then she realized it was me instead of another one of her friends whom she thought I was. She quickly jumped back, and said something about her boyfriend. She immediately called her boyfriend over and gave him a spanking on his bottom. I feel like this was her attempt to show me she had a man, but the fact that she was calling him over and giving the spanking just showed that she was in charge of the relationship, and he wasn't manning up. She disapeared and there was hardly any other girls to talk to, I decided to bounce. I texted her and told her to give my # to the birthday boy who wanted it, and that we'd chill sometime. She never got back to me. Will text her this upcoming week.

Met my one friend who is sometimes legitimately down to game. We were walking down the street downtown, and we walked by two girls. One called the other a bitch, and I stopped her, and said, 'did you just call me a bitch?" She said, "yeah bitch." I said, "you trying to start a fight." She said, "yeah bring it." The whole while we are getting closer and getting in each others face. She looks at my face and tells me she likes my septum ring. I tell her that I like hers, and say,"let's lock em together." We immediately start making out. I'm pushing her against a tree, and grabbing her ass. We banter some more, and then we continue kissing. The whole time my friend is occupying her friend, and the two of them are somewhat in disbelief. The tenor of our conversation is playful of course, but I am creating emotional tension which is exciting. That was my first make out with a stranger on the street, and we started in less than a minute, pretty awesome!

I also talked two girls into kissing each other at a taco stand we chilled at later on. They were there with one of their boyfriends and another guy. I started talking them into a 3 way kiss, but the boyfriend and other guy started moving them out before anything could happen. Unfortunately we started to late, and the bars and people had cleared out for the most part. We opened two other girls off the street about their food they got before we stopped, and I started a playful argument with both of them too. They both claimed to be Mexican, and I told one that she wasn't, and she was all like "how dare you." I pushed through. It definitely strengthened our connection. By the end of the talk, they were telling me they liked me, etc. My one friend was trying to get a kiss, but he wasn't engaging well, and so his girl was pushing to go. Ended up giving each of them kisses on the cheek.

My friend was tired and bounced, and I wasn't as eager to approach solo. He told me that my mission tonight was to meet some other friends to play the game with, and I did. I ran into a guy who I met at Artisan's free pua workshop. We're going to try to chill. I hope we do. I need some other guy friends who got balls, and know how to have a good time. That last sentence sounds really gay, but it is true. I need some wings that aren't afraid to approach and can make the most of the experience.

~AVALO

Monday - LR 4/21/14 - "So it Continues"

Inspiration comes in spurts. This past month I spent in my cave-like room licking my wounds. Now, I'm seemingly back, and I'm revved up. It's funny how quick one can get re-ignited. Today was the slowest day at work I've ever had, so I spent half the day texting girls I know and setting up dates for the week. Basically set up a date for every night of the week. I've even got a few that I'll text mid-week for weekend dates. It's crazy how many opportunities you have, once you change your perspective. I had been in the mental state that there were no ladies available to me. Now with hardly having added to my options, I'm booked for the week .

Tonight, I went out with the girl who I made out with in under a minute on the street on Saturday. She had given me her number, and she actually didn't flake. Crazy! I texted her some ridiculous text on Sunday saying, "What's up my one true love, I like your attitude, etc." I texted her again today and told her how bored I was in the office, and how I needed to get out tonight. She said she was down but needed a ride because she bikes everywhere. I told her "I guess I can pick you up. Just don't try to take advantage of me. Deal?" The whole conversation switched the chase frame, was light and playful, and pretty laid back.

Honestly, I feel like my Achilles Heel in the past is that I've tried too hard, and am not laid back enough. Today with my texting, and our date, I was super chill, enjoying myself, and not "trying to please her." I was still having fun, being playful, but I had a good balance of stoicism and epicureanism (see Tyler from RSD's newest blog's guest speaker to hear more about this. My game is a mix between Tyler and Julians from RSD, but nowhere near there level yet).

Anyways, we went to a show, and our chemistry was good from the get-go. We both talked shit to each other, and were both doing a good bit of push and pull. We were basically telling each other to fuck off, and that you suck, etc. I'd go deeper into the story, but it's late. I ended up hooking up with her, and almost falling asleep at her place, just got home at 2:45 am. I like her, and if I was content to be with one girl, I could end up with her, but you see that's not what this is about for me, it's about a state of mind.

Tonight, I felt like a won a battle over my own neurosis and ego, my own doubt. I was more chill, had less controlling thoughts about my existence, and had an awesome night. I'm curious to see this become a lasting change, and to take more steps towards, authenticity, equanimity, and developing more connections with lovely ladies.

Tomorrow night, one of the guys who I met at the free Artisan workshop a few months back is supposed to come SARGE with me. We will see if he follows through. I texted him tonight about our future gaming, but he never hit me back. I really need some solid fellas that are down, so I hope he follows through.

~AVALO

Thursday FR - 4/24/14 - 'Sour date, benched game'

Ended up going on a date last night w/ a girl who is from where I'm from. We're having fun, she calls me cocky. Everything is good. She then tells me that she invited another friend. I try not to go afc, but the friend is not very engaging, is totally self centered in a boring way, and is on her phone 1/2 the time. The friend doesn't have a car, and the girl I'm on the date w says she'll give her a ride. She's on the other side of the table and the friends arrival cut our sex talk short. I'm like fuck this. It's 2nd time out, and I haven't kissed her, they are being boring now. I bounce to another group of people and start chatting. A cute girl comes along and it's her birthday. We flirt some but my flow is low, and she has a strong connection w an old friend who is part of the group. My date try's to leave w/o saying gbye. I say gbye to em both, and she's gone ice cold. I don't care, she blew it w the friend, and I did too(owning up). If I was a true Jedi, could've saved it, but still a Padiwan.

~AVALO

Saturday 4/26 - FR - "Festival in the park"

My friend whom I'm in a band with called me up and told me about a festival going on right across from my house in this cool park. Sweet, perfect! He rolled over, and we walked to the park. It was slammed full of people wearing crazy costumes, and having tons of fun! If I had a good wing, we could really work this place, if I had been on my A-game I could really work this place. My initial mind state was overwhelmed by all the people, and the desire to go be alone was pretty strong in me, had a full glass of melancholy. We met some of his friends, and they were ok, and my state was low.

We decided to go back to my place and drink some whiskey. I usually don't advocate drinking or drugs in order to change state, but man I needed it. If I hadn't done it, my state would've stayed super low. I hadn't been owning my emotions or responsible for my state. Thankfully once I got a breath of fresh air, and a few sips of the good stuff, I was ready to rock! I approached a guy first who had a jesus on a bike on his shirt, he was cool, and told me about some cool 175 mile marathon he rode. I approached an asian girl at a drum circle and asked her if she danced, and she did the sterotypical asian giggle and said, "no I'm too shy." She then ran away! I approached this banging black chick in a bikini and tu-tu, and asked her "if she was a real ballerina?" She said she wasn't, but then I said I really want to meet a real ballerina, and I think all you have to do is walk around on your toes, can you do that? She did, she was fun and playful, but then answered a call, so I bounced. I approached a mexican girl with her face painted, and got her number and invited her to do some acro-yoga with me, we might hang later next week and do some of that acro-yoga, shit is too cool! I was flirting with this girl near this event we were watching, and she was touching me and grabbing at me, I then kissed her on the cheek, and was about to go for the kiss close, our faces were up towards each others, when she told me that her husband wouldn't like it. She showed me the ring, and "I was like, damn, I'm getting deep in this shit!" Later on, I ran into two of the guys who say they are down for pick up, but flake more than Tony the Tiger. We got our picture together and sent it to our friend who actually goes out. It sucks that they never go out, and it sucks that I feel slightly resentful towards them, I need to let that go, just think of them as friends, instead of flaky pua's. I got one other girls number, who liked our music when we were jamming in the park, and was playing along on the air guitar, I think I could've pulled her away to isolation, but my vibe was starting to slow, will try next time regardless.

Overall, it was a good session, because I had fun. My tangible goal was to get at least one make-out, and didn't make it . I probably could've landed one with the married woman if I'd pushed, but am not trying to do that. Went home and watched some free RSD videos. Got to keep my thoughts, words, actions aligned, and be aware of my own state first, then the state of others second.

Saturday 5/2/14 - FR - Kiss from a girl with a boyfriend

I'm not feeling too wordy right now, but had an interesting night tonight. Went out to my favorte dance hall, which I've mentioned in a prior post, and immediately zoned in on a single lady at the bar. We started chatting, and our vibes were immediately congruent. I was being myself, she was being herself, it was awesome. Tyler from RSD would approve. I touched her a few times, and our legs were brushing against each other beneath the bar. She told me that I shouldn't ask for her number because she has a boyfriend, and I told her the PUA line, it's cool, "he can make us breakfast." She liked it, she was more flirtatious after that. We danced, and I was turned on, our bodies fit together well. I grinded on her, and she didn't seem to mind, it was pretty awesome. We were kissing on the cheeks, some, it was getting hot, and I landed one on her lips. She said she needed to go outside to smoke, so I gave her a spanking, and she walked off. As I figured, she didn't come back. This has happened to me before, I just don't want to be needy and follow them. Next time, I'll say, "I"ll come with you," not be needy, and just keep the vibe going and go outside with them. I've let a lot of cool ladies slip away because of this. I danced with a few other sexy girls, and learned that after trying to make them dance the way I want to, it feels better to just go along with what feels good. I learned this years back dancing, but forgot. I knew it was more fluid, but now I know it's more sensual.

There was also a cool moment, where an older gentleman came up to me and shook my hand. I was distracted prior, and it brought me out of my head. I'd like to go out sometime soon, and just go up to everyone, say hi, and give them handshakes without an agenda. It's kind of a newbie mission, but I think it could be beneficial, and really create a good vibe.