Quick history - 42 M divorced 2012. Very little PUA experience but the girl I have been seeing for the past 18 months was picked up directly from what I've learned here, with some luck thrown in. Since meeting her it has been tumbleweeds. I'm in a bad area for finding hotties, more like a vending machine with old stuff in it than a buffet. Anyway I want to move on from this hybrid relationship and meet some new HB's, maybe even find one I am really into.

At a Mexican place I frequent, a new HB is in there one day recently. I immediately liked her and she took notice of my interest, responding with smiles and flirty looks. However she was inaccessible that day. Several days later I return and this time she is my server. I'm with a friend and his HB (who is quite sexy as it were) and the flirty looks continue.

Her English is decent but not enough to pick up so well on insinuation and sarcasm, but I managed to get a few funnies conveyed to her. The manager is a friend of mine and he stopped by to so Hi. When I asked which one of them she was dating, he said she is single and looking. When she came back I introduced my friends and myself. She introduced herself and we shook hands. It seemed too early to number close but I told her she'd be seeing me there because I have lunch there every week.

The next visit several days later was with a friend for his birthday lunch. She was not our server but came to the table multiple times making small talk, giving me her history (in the states up north seven years, divorced, moved south for better climate, etc) and asking us various things (how long we've known each other, where from etc). It was time to number close! But then they get a big lunch rush and she is wisked away by work. However not before she pulled together a whole crew and did a surprise birthday procession for my friend.

I wanted to see her bad, but I couldn't go back the next day without looking desperate. However I had repaired the manager's laptop and needed to bring it back to him, so I stopped by to drop it off. She immediately came to me to ask how I was etc. I teased her by offering the laptop towards her, which she reached out and said I'll take that! I said nah, this is for your manager. She said well you can still give it to me instead. I said maybe if I get a hug I can think about that. She immediately gave me a nice hug (body felt great, toned and not fluffy). Now a NC would have been great here, but at the moment the manager finally got freed up and engaged me. I couldn't stick around longer without being awkward so a 10 foot smile and see ya had to suffice. I left very satisfied with the physical elevation.

The number close.. Several days later I took my employee to lunch for his 90 day review. He was dressed sharp and had an iPad going over something work related. Again she was not our server but she came over to say hi. She seemed a bit stand-offish.. I introduced my employee as my boss (why not?) and she said hi then departed. Perhaps giving us some space so I wouldn't get in trouble with my 'boss'. She returned about 10 minutes later and I did a NC. I put the phone in front of her and said "Put your number in and I will call or text so we can go out." I had already established she was off on Tuesday. She complied with first and last name (verified on FB) but darted off pretty quickly afterwards. Rest of the visit she was stand-offish but was playing Mexican love songs from her phone through the audio system and making eye contact like crazy. She also turned up the volume considerably.

I texted her that evening just with a "Hello J___, now you've got my number too!" message. I expected if I waited a couple of days she would definitely text something back, but no.

Five days later I take the plunge.. I go there for a weekend lunch. Cold. She did say hi how are you but that is it.

This week I had a visit with my real life PUA friend and mentioned the situation. He recommended texting her and putting the question to her in the form of settling an argument between him and me. The argument being he said I moved too slow and I said I moved too fast. Last night I followed through. Her answer: "I'm gonna be honest, I have a boyfriend right now".

From there I may have screwed up the dialog and after a couple of back and forths I got the "Ok we can be friends!" reply. She advised that she met him when she moved here. (That would be five weeks ago.) I'm not buying it being serious enough to turn down other opportunities. Then again she *did* let me NC her so..

Not sure where I screwed this up initally. Everything went perfect until the NC. I assume she didn't know how to say No! with the traditional Mexican female role being a bit submissive compared to the US units. Thoughts? Input? Gold digger turned off by the boss thing?

I agree with your friend... I think you didn't move fast enough. I heard a lot of excuses in those paragraphs and there are always a lot of reasons to not do something. This can convey weakness. Don't wait for the 'perfect' moment... there is none. Also, valuable objects are scarce, and you made yourself readily available ( DLV).

A number doesn't really mean that much honestly. Women sometimes give it out of sympathy, with no intention of responding.

Unfortunately, the BF defense is rampant. Depends on how much time you want to put in. There are ways around, but I have not had that much success/ or tried it that much. PJ puts a time forward on girls with BFs and tries to connect with them in a few months. I have never done this so I can't advise past it.

There have been stories though of men just not giving up and being persistent. That can work in some cases.

All these points lead to one conclusion.. don't spend too much time on one woman. Remember even the best PUAs F-close (if that was your intent) 10% of their harvest. So you might not have screwed up.

Great info. Yes I need to ramp up my speed. I need to practice but I'm just so picky about my HBs now. I find it difficult to make approaches on anything I'm not interested in. After being in a 13 year deal with one that inflated like a balloon on a tailpipe, I have zero interest in anything remotely overweight. Not sure how to get around that for the sake of getting experience in approaches. Just a huge turnoff for me though.

As for the Mexican HB, I'm not sure how to respond to the 'Ok we can be friends!" text. I feel like it is a dead deal at this point, but I can retain her contact info for a rainy day. It would be nice to state my position (not interested in friend zone but I'm good with being on hold as a future romantic adventure) but I'm not sure any further comms are needed at this point.

Sounds like this went on for weeks.

When you first met her you asked her boss if she was single. Of course the boss said something to her after telling you she was "Single and looking." After that you tried playing it "cool" and came across as weak, shy and intimidated regardless of her advances or level of interest.

All you had to do the week after when she was super friendly was go up to her as you left, got her number and said "Your boss said you're new in town. How about I show you around? Give me your number." You didn't need to wait so long and it didn't need to be awkward. It could have been seen as a friendly gesture and not questioned and left room for you to continue to see her and escalate when you were on a date with her where you could properly game her.

This was totally on you, bro. You took far too long to get her number and she knew you were interested since the first day you met her. At least you know where you went wrong and can work on it.

Next time when a chick is being that friendly and interested just go for the number close there and then and organise to meet up at a later date for whatever reason. For her it would have been a simple "I'm going to show you around. Give me your number."

It was definitely a learning experience. Not sure why I took so long but it drives home the point to close quickly before someone else does! On to the next!