| Upon reflection I realize that the emotion I feel isn't embarrassment. I'm pissed off that I didn't handle this shit better. I'll set things up for you.
I go to my photography night class. There's this chick at the table in front of me I notice staring at me in my peripheral vision. I glance up at her, and we start giving each other funny looks. This goes on for about an hour. The professor gives us a 10 minute break, and we both kind of drift over to each other indirectly and start talking.
Me: Do you have an eye problem?
Girl: *smile* no...
Me: Well then why were you undressing me with your eyes?
She comments on my labret, and I ask her if she has any piercings or tatoos. She doesn't. I mentioned the tattoo on my ass, and she tells me that she's heard of me, and that it's great to finally meet me. I feel amazing.
I tell her she needs to come over to the NCM (student organization building) after class and shoot some pool and meet some of my friends. I stomp her ass at pool and rub it in. She brings me to the cube introduces me to a few friends, mostly jackasses. My friends are coming into town the next night and I tell her to go out with us and catch a flick, maybe have some drinks afterward. Of course she will, she says. Number close, and I'm out.
The next night she's a bit late meeting me and my friends on campus. I send them ahead to get decent seats and she eventually shows up and we make our way to the theater. I'm hilarious, she's laughing, things are golden. We pull into the theater and she gets a call. It's one of the jackasses I met in the cube. I ask what's going on and apparently she blew off plans with some other friends to go out with me. So I feel good. But things soon get worse.
We meet the jackass in the lobby and get seats. Cloverfield sucks. Don't watch it. Anyway, I reach over and grab her hand during the movie. She has big hands. I really don't like her friend at this point because he's making jokes about the movie, and that's my job -- he's not even funny. The movie ends. We get up and walk out back into the lobby with my friends and the idiot she invited along.
Enter her Ex-boyfriend. Lets call him Tim, although I don't know he's an ex at the time, but it's obvious that the three of them know each other. He's plainly trying to out-alpha me, which isn't tough considering he's quite a large man. I decide to introduce myself.
Me: *extend hand* Hi, I'm Joseph.
Him: Oh, I don't have a name.
Me: How unfortunate!
Him: Actually, I'm Tim.
The entire group walks outside, her friends and mine. She is standing between me and Tim. Tim looks at her and says, "You riding with me?" She looks between me and him, and then down at her feet, and says "uhh..okay". In a pissed off manner, I say "Okay, well I'll see you at Canes!" (we were going to get a bite and then head to a pub for some drinks after the movie.)
I get there, he's sitting next to her talking to her. I'm hanging around trying to work my way into the conversation with little success. I get my food, and we all sit down at a booth. Jackass is next to me, my date -- if I can even be permitted to call her that at this point -- is sitting directly across from me, and Tim is sitting next to her. We talk for a while and eat. During that time I find some things out about him. Namely, that he's her ex. A girlfriend of hers shows up and mentions something going on a mutual friends house. We're all done eating and walk outside. She plainly and vocally doesn't feel like going to the pub for drinks, but rather to this friends house. I say, "Well, do you want me to let you go now?" She nods, gives me a strong hug and we part ways. My friends and I go to the pub and they buy me beer to cheer me up.
Other than the photography class I have with her, we have a MW english class, that we had agreed we would have lunch together afterward. I go to class and sit down. She comes in and looks at me. I don't look back, but notice her staring. In photography thursday night I don't look at her or try to communicate either.
A few things I could have done that could have made a big difference:
At the theater, my friends were in a small bubble not far from where Tim, Jackass, and my date were standing. If she was going to talk to Tim, I think I should have punished her and walked away. By standing there and competing for her attention, I'm rewarding her for not being exclusively mine.
I should have done the same thing at canes. I should have taken a chair and sat next to my friends, and not said anything unless it was a clever playful neg. Obviously I'm trying to freeze her out now, I want her to know that I'm pissed off at her and I want her to think that I don't care about her at all. If she tries to talk to me, I'll tell her that she can start by explaining what the hell happened Friday night; Why she let an ex crash into our date, why she arguably spent more time talking with him than to me, and why she left with him. I also want to know how he got invited. Was he one of the friends she ditched to be with me, or an ex she still spends time with, and who invited himself along once he knew some skinny white boy was taking her out?
I appreciate any input or constructive criticism. This is the first date I've been on with a black chick, probably one of the worst I've been on in a long time.
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