Last night I went sarjing alone just because I like doing it sometimes.

I Set my alarm on my phone for 25 minutes.

Im at the bar and I see a 3 set. As im passing by them on my way to the bar I open over the shoulder.
Me: hey guys, quick question. Im planning a bachelor party and I need a female perspective on this.
Set: On what?
( I slowly start to turn to them as i talk)
Me: Should I get strippers or not?
( Than I notice the one girl who became my target had a feather in her hair)
Set: (2 of the girls said yes and the target said no)
Me: Why yes?
Obstacles: blah blah blah
Me: Ok, Why no? ( As i look at the target ) ( And Packer youre gonna love this)
Me: But, first. Are those hair extensions?
Target: No!!! Just cause I put a feather in my hair doesnt mean I have hair extensions.
Obstacles: Laughter
Me: Whoa, youre nose wiggles when you talk. Did you know that?
Obstacles: (Laughter) It so does
Me:(Right away before they respond) So, how do you all know each other?
Obstacles: Blah blah blah.
(We fluff for a bit, I dhv and multiple thread the conversation.)

Me: So you guys just hangin out, chilling tonight, or is it girls night out.
1 of the Obstacles: Were waiting for my boyfriend and were gonna chill out. (I.o.d)
Me: Im Derail. And you guys are
(introductions are made)
Target: Hey. You didnt let me tell you why I dont think strippers are cool.(I.O.I)
Me: Alright, tell me but make it quick cause im waiting for a friend to show up.
Target: My brother had strippers at his bachelor party and his friend slept with one and got an S.T.D.
Me: Well, my family and I dont fuck on the first date so I think were o.k. I need to be wine and dined. Too bad youre not my type.
( I point at the 2 obstacles)
Me: You guys seem pretty interesting and im getting a good vibe from you. Put your hands on each side of the glass. You on one side and you on the other.
Target: How do you know..
Me: Wait your turn, were doing something.
(I make the straw fly outta the dring at the target) It was so good.
All 3 girls: HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!
Obstacle: How did you do that?
Me: You did it, its all energy.
Target: NO WAY! Take your rings and bracelets off and do it.
Me: Is she always like this?(to the targets)
Obstacles: Do it again. Please that was awesome.
Me: Maybe later. But ive kinda been ignoring your friend here(I point at the target). You guys mind if I borrow her for a second. Im goin to get a drink at the bar.
Obstacles: Sure. Take her
(We are walking towards the bar)
I begin Kinoing her.
Target: So, how do you know Im not your type?(I.O.I.)
Me: Were too similar, wed fight all the time and id win. Watch.
(We do a thumb war, I let her win)
Me: You only one because you have small hands and my big thumb is easy to grab on too.
Target: Laughter

We grab a drink and stand at the bar where I am dhving and kinoing.

My phone alarm goes off. I pretend its a ring so I answer it and have a short conversation with my imaginary friend who tells me hes not coming out tonight. As I do this im keep an eye on my target who is fixing herself up.(I.O.I.)

Me: My friend is not coming out tonight so I think im gonna take off. Before I go, I want your number. Big Time.
I enter her name in my phone and give her my phone. She types her number in.

Target: You dont have to leave you can chill with us if you like.(I.O.I.)
Me: Alright you seem cool enough.
( I give her a hug and she squeezes me back)
Me: Lets get back to your friends.

Back at the table we fluff for a while. Im telling jokes. We were all just having alot of fun.
Enter the boyfriend.

My target gives him her seat and she sits beside me. I start shooting the shit with him and i find out he is a mechanic. We exchange info because im a mechanic for a job and its always nice to have mechanic contacts. The girls tell him about the magic trick and for a second trick I stick a pen through a bill and pull it back out and there is no hole in the bill. We are all shooting the shit and just having a great time. I have the Targets hand on my leg. Time goes by in a good way.

Me: Well, im gonna go grab a smoke and maybe take off.
Target: Ill come with you.

Outside we are smoking and I cube her and mystery kiss close her.
Me: Are you thinking about kissing me right now?
Target: I wanted you to a long time ago.
We kiss
Target: You are so cool( big smile).
Me: Thanks so are you. You know, I almost didnt come out tonight but im so glad I did because meeting you just made my week.
Target: Thanks, I almost didnt come out either but im glad I did too. You arent like any other guy ive met.
( she kisses me again) I push her off.
Me: Dont get any ideas. I gotta get going soon. Im taking the last subway home.
Target: Where do you live?
Me: (Somewhere in Toronto, but I tell her where I really live)
Target: Well, I live at (such and such) Wanna split a cab and you can grab the subway there.
Me: Sure

We say bye to my new friends. They were all very very cool people. And get a cab. In the cab we are making out and playing around.

Her: Come to my place, you said you smoke weed, I got some up there. Lets smoke.
Me: Sounds good.

We walk in to her place. She lights candles and an inscence, we smoke the joint and put on Sin City and start to watch the movie, I start massaging her a bit.
Target: Oh, I havent had a massage in soooo long. Can you give me one.
(I give deadly massages)
Me: Only if I get one back. Take your shirt and bra off and lay down on the bed.
(She complies)
While massaging her I start massaging her ass and she loves it. I reach around and unbutton her pants. I slide them down and while im massaging her i rub her snatch every now in then. She is very wet after a bit
Target: Put it in.


We had great sex and I left in the morning after breakfast.

Derail Laired

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Looking for Toronto wingmen