When my friend Jake asked me if I wanted to join the guys to a strip club, I jumped to the opportunity and said yes. The eight of us jump into the stretch limo. I glace around, since I have never been inside a limo before and excitement rushes over me. At the same time being around with a bunch of guys, I feel anxious to see the club, nervous because I’m sweating next to a bunch of attractive guys, timid and shy. Jake tells me to relax as I try to chat up with the other guys and we have arrived to our destination. As I strut in my stiletto heels, this funky smell of musk and sweaty men overcome my nostrils. We head over to our VIP table and wait as our bottles are getting ready. I observe what is going on around me: men with their glazed eyes getting turned on by naked women with massive breasts. As I‘m watching this brunette straddle on top of this unattractive bald man to my corner, Jake tells me this is what I am missing: sexual escalation.
Why I won’t escalate: I honestly do not believe it’s the fear of escalating. I just know that once you cross the boundary of friends to being more friends with a guy, it’s dangerous territory. I feel that up to the point of flirting is ok, but when you take it up a notch, you as a girl end up losing power and he has power over you. I’m the type of girl that likes to have the upper hand in these types of situations. In some sense, being in the friends zone with the guy is less stressful for me.
Rewind things back a few months prior to all this. This guy, Ethan who I thought I was friends with wanted to hangout and told me he’d take me to the art museum and around where he lives. When I texted him and ended up at his city, he was drunk and high and I didn’t realized he was messed up till I got there. We walk up to his apartment and sit on the couch. His arms around me and I didn’t know where to place my hands so I place them on my leg, later on during the movie I place them on his leg. He touches my arm in a circular motion. When he tried to kiss me, he grabs onto my face like a squid and wont let go even if I push him. Several attempts later he keeps going back into his room. Then he says he’s tired and going to bed. So I say goodnight. He sees me outside and says come in to cuddle. Then when we are in his bed he tries to kiss me again. When I wouldn’t he said I could have the couch. Then when I’m sleeping on the couch he apologizes for being a dick and invites me in where he kisses my head and ears and cheek. I squirm and he latches on again. This time when I couldn’t comply he has his back turned to me. ..When I came to see him, I thought I’d be hanging out with him OUTSIDE, NOT at his apartment watching a movie and cuddling. He knew my goal with guys was cuddling at the time and suggested we cuddle. Since then we cuddled a few times but every time he’d try to kiss me and I’d push away. As much as I was attracted to him, I would never want to jeopardize my friendship with his friends over him. Guys gossip and I didn’t want to be known as “the girl that hooked up with that guy.”
Seeing Ethan at the strip club I approached him since we haven’t talked for quite some time. I think this was the moment that I realized we both wanted different things: he wanted JUST SEX and to sexually escalate with me, whereas I wanted friendship and to just cuddle with no strings attached. Sadly you can’t have it both ways, which is why we constantly argue to the point of strangling each other. I wanted him to invest in me, and instead I was investing more into the friendship, which ultimately spiraled downhill after we cuddled. He just saw me as this object, and not quite a person with feelings. I tried so hard to build a friendship, but in the end you can't force someone to be your friend if they don't want to.
I wanted to walk around so I wandered off to the stage where the dancer prances around. It a way it was hypnotizing to watch her move back and forth thrusting her body in a motion that’s indescribable. It was an addictive trance that held me there for a few minutes. After her dance, an unattractive pale thin stripper came up and I walked away.
Brody grabs me and tells me to choose a stripper. When I say I want the stripper that was up on stage, he chooses one for me and tells her to give me a dance. Imagine a younger Octomom with skinny hips and an ass that’s firm and tight. She rubs on my legs as she sits on me and rubs back and forth. The look on Brody’s eyes lits up and to my astonishment he jumps in the middle. He mumbles something to Octomom about how this is his lil sister’s 1st lap dance as she is thrusting back and forth on his lap. He has the glazed look of satisfaction as I am bursting into laughter. Brody can’t stop grinning as I am holding both of their weight on my lap. As the song comes to an end I give Brody a hug for memorable, unexpected 1st lap dance.
CHAT