| This happened in January 2011, only just found it on my computer now.
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This is a report about how normal Rapid Escalation has become for me, and how much it’s just integrated into my day to day life. I was coaching in the city yesterday afternoon. My student was in set and I saw a chick sitting down. I had already made sex eyes with her before when we walked past. She had big deep blue ones like in the cartoons. I went and sat next to her.
Me: Hey. My friend is picking up some chick so I need someone to talk to.
Her: Ha ha ok cool.
[The vibe at this point is already flirty, I’ve casually mentioned that my friend is picking up, and we’re looking into each other’s eyes sexually. She was dressed up to go out and was giving off a sexy vibe]
Me: You have an accent...Irish? (I raise my eyebrow seductively. We’re not talking about anything particularly sexual but the way I say it shows my intent.)
Her: Canadian. (She grins back)
Me: My mum’s Irish. And sometimes people tell me I sound Canadian. What are you doing today?
Her: It's my birthday!
Me: No fucking way!? How old?
Her: 22!
Me: Wow, I turned 22… yesterday (which was true)
[Tension is pumped up here…we’re still gazing into each others eyes, grinning like crazy]
Her: Hahah so it’s still your birthday in Canada....
[She says this very seductively]
Me: Yep… let’s have a birthday kiss (giving her an intense hellfire burn)
(I slowly lean in and we make out intensely for 10 seconds, and my hand runs up her chest and squeezes her tits. She was really getting into the kiss, pulling me in by the shoulders, until I grabbed her tits)
Her: (reacting to tit grab) Hey! You thought you'd just cop a feel, did you? (Playfully but still mock-shocked)
Me: Yep. You can have one back…
(I say this casually and grab her hand and put it on my erection)
Her: Wow! Sweet! I like Australia! (mood totally changed, she’s now super excited)
[I didn’t apologise for grabbing her boobs, instead I continued under the pretence of we both like touching each other, it feels good. When she saw this was my attitude, she realized she liked it, she felt comfortable to be open about her sexuality with me, and was excited to have touched my penis and seen the erection she had given me. It made her feel sexy to know she was making me horny, and she felt comfortable to flow with that feeling when she saw that I wasn’t judging her for it.]
Me: (still relaxed chat like this is totally normal for me...because it is) So, who you waiting for?
Her: My ex-boyfriend. He’s taking me out to dinner.
Me: When’s he coming?
Her: Supposed to be here 10 minutes ago....
Me: So we don't have time to...(I give her sex eyes which imply "I’m going to fuck in a toilet somewhere")
Her: (sounding a bit disappointed) Nah...
Me: (finishing my sentence from before) ...pick flowers and talk about our feelings. That was what you thought I was gonna say yeah?
Her: Hahahah. (She laughs, but she knows what I really meant.)
Me: Ah well you can just have another of these. (Put her hand back on my boner. She left it there for a while, eventually it was actually me that took it off. At the time I was getting too horny and didn’t want to get worked up and not be able to seal the deal in case my student came back)
Me: Anyway where is your ex? (I’m thinking FUCK I want to fuck her right now and she is KEEN)
Her: He should be here by now!
Me: You better get my number quick then.
(She excitedly agrees, we exchange numbers, then my student comes back from talking to a smoking hot Spanish chick, and we openly discuss the pickup in front of the Canadian. We don’t hide the fact that we’re out picking up chicks.)
I say bye, then she watches as we leave to approach 2 hot German chicks.
This interaction went warmly for 10 seconds; they said they were going back to their hostel, I asked if their boyfriends were staying there. They said yes. I said “Cool nice to meet you” and we walked off.
This was interesting for me because while there are rare occasions when it’s appropriate to stay and talk to chicks with boyfriends, this was NOT one of them. Clearly we were there to pick them up. But I could sense that if I hadn’t ejected the student would have hung around chatting to them about nothing for a while so he could leave 'smoothly'. I asked him and he said “Yeah that’s what I would have done haha.”
I was saying to the student, it’s actually pointless for you to pretend to care (they know you don’t anyway), pointless to keep talking to them out of politeness, worried that they'll be 'offended' by you bailing after the boyfriend thing. I reckon it’s more disrespectful to have this weird false intention of politeness and stay hanging around them, driven by some obscure guilt at how they'll feel if we just abruptly walk off.
It’s an example of a situation where a guy will alter his behaviour because he THINK it’s what the girls wants, but it’s actually the opposite....
One example recently was, I was talking about anal sex with my friend and a girl walked into the room, and she said “What are you talking about?” and I said “Anal sex...” and kept talking.
And I realised later that some guys (including myself in the past) have a tendency to censor themselves around women, not wanting to talk about sex for fear of appearing 'creepy' and not wanting to 'offend' women.
I actually think its MORE offensive to censor yourself. You’re subtly implying things like:
-women don't like to talk about sex
-it’s a touchy subject that she would be offended by
-it’s a dirty little secret that nice good girls wouldn't want to know about
-women are not innately sexual
-they don't think about sex very much
-they are not mature enough to talk about “men’s topics” like that
In the act of censoring yourself around women, you are totally denying their sexuality, and excluding them from the discussion. It’s very condescending, not to mention naïve, as to how sexual women really are!
Anyway so the Canadian make out chick texted me at 1am saying “Hey how did you go picking up chicks? I’m busy tonight, but contact me tomorrow!”
I love being able to get so sexual so fast with a girl I just met on the street, in the daytime. It’s a result of my owning my sexuality, and years of practice projecting my sexual intent. The vibe I give off to girls just screams 'non-judgemental seducer that will show you a good time...and make you feel good about yourself afterwards. Guilt free sexual fun from an experienced lover!'
She can just FEEL that vibe that I’m giving off. It’s there in every aspect of my communication: the way I talk to her, the way I look at her, how relaxed I am in her presence, the lack of hesitation going for the kiss, the sexually aggressive kiss, not getting weird when she pretend to be offended about me touching her boobs, being forward enough to put her hand on my boner.
It's a really important area that is often neglected because its scary/outside the comfort zone. So many guys put copious amounts of effort to practice approaching and conversation, and I think an area that a lot of people neglect is physical escalation and creating a sexual vibe.
In a way this is disrespectful to women too: you are denying them the soothing feeling of a mans touch, and being greedy with your sexual energy by not sharing it with women.
I’ve had people ask, “Does this Rapid Escalation stuff really work? I bet if I tried it I would fail…”
It’s not like it works or doesn't work, that a weird way to describe it. It’s clearer to say “Some girls respond well to it and others don't. Some are on the same page as you and others are not. It’s a very efficient way to express your intent and find the girls that are on your wavelength, sexually, socially and energetically.”
Saying “it works” puts too much emphasis on the 'method' as if it’s some fool proof 100% success rate model, when in reality there is no such thing. Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling you a pipe dream at best and an outright lie at worst.
The other thing worth noting with this: is its very clear what my intent is in my eyes, voice and body language before I start doing anything extreme. The girl knows I am there for a sexual reason from the start. So it’s not as much of a shock when I start touching them.
I don’t just walk up and have this pleasant chat vibe and suddenly start creeping them out with some random touch...the fact that they know why I’m there from the start makes it not creepy. The ones I escalate on are the ones I can see are responding to this. Some people read stories like this and think that I’m this way with every woman I meet…far from it. It’s only a small percentage of the girls that I talk to that I escalate on in this way, it’s the ones that I can feel will respond to it, and in many ways they can sense it’s coming and are expecting it because my energy is already tuned to ‘sexual’.
The fact that I’ve put myself through so many escalation training experiences, and that I know I can go up to a woman, touch her, and try to kiss her without hesitation or apology, means that even when I’m not doing any touching, I still give off a ‘sexy guy’ energy. It’s like they can FEEL that I’m the kind of guy who COULD escalate at any moment.
It’s just like how hardened street fighters have an 1000 yard stare and give off a ‘don’t even try to fuck with me or I’ll fuck up your day’ vibe, I give off a ‘I could take you on a wild sexual adventure at any moment’ vibe. It means that when I touch them, it’s no surprise. It’s totally congruent with my energy, and is part of the natural flow of the interaction.
Another thing I forgot to mention: a few minutes before I kissed the Canadian we had walked past this group of 19 year old girls drinking goon and being rowdy.
As I was explaining something to the student one of them yelled out to me “Hey! Dude! You’re really hot! Yeah...you...with the FUCKING suspenders...”
It was in a negative kind of tone like in the same way a pack of guys would call out “Hey slut! Yeah, bitch, you! With the big tits! Nice ass, whore!” and wolf whistle. It was very aggressive and intimidating, even though it was a teenage group of girls.
I was wrapped up in what I was saying to the student, and she didn’t say it that loud, so didn’t even really notice until the student said “Um I think that chick was talking to you.” You know sometimes when someone says something to you but it registers a few seconds late? It was like that.
I thought it was such a fascinating thing to experience for a few reasons:
Firstly, it was funny how the girl was clearly attracted to me but had this element of frustration/aggression in her voice, almost like she was pissed off at me for being so attractive to her. It was like “HEY! ASSHOLE! WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKIN’ HOT!”
I’ve had a chick do a similar thing to a student before. He had a scarf on, and we passed her on the stairs. She muttered “Well I’m so cool with my fucking scarf” at him as he walked past, mocking him out of jealousy, and he didn’t hear her. I said “Dude that chick just tried to open you. Go!” He goes back and opens her with a number close: “Hey. I’m getting your number.” She’s like “YES! Ok!”
It switches from negative frustration and “Who is that super hot guy and why does he make me feel all this insecurity and jealousy” to “Wow cool he wants to talk to me! Awesome!”
I’m sure we can all relate to that feeling, when you see a chick you feel is out of your reach and there is an element of anger/jealousy/frustration mixed up in the emotions. It feels like she’s in a different world to you and you feel like you can never have her, so you project your hate onto her. It seems girls have this same reaction too.
One time I was walking with a group of friends and 2 guys came up to one of the girls and said “Tell me...why are you so attractive...it makes me angry.” It was so interesting how in touch with his emotions he was. He didn’t understand why he was feeling it but he knew what it was. It wasn't the usual passive aggressive sexual frustration; it was aggressive-aggressive sexual frustration.
So it was so funny to hear that very same tone coming from a hot 17 year old girl. In the past I could not comprehend how an attractive women would ever be unhappy in her love life! "She has the highest social value! She has the largest sexual selection power! She can choose anyone she wants, she can just go out and get 10 make-outs easily! She could get laid whenever she wanted! Her life must be perfect!”
It’s such a massive oversimplification of the challenges women face in the dating game. It just solidified that even smoking hot 19 year olds can embody that same frustrated feeling. They are also bombarded with sexual images in the media, have happy couples shoved down their throat at parties and on Facebook, and can feel like “What’s wrong with me!!? Why do I not have a perfect dating life! I feel like I’m the ONLY one who struggles in this area...”
They can be just as insecure as anyone, even more so when they feel like they should have a successful dating life due to their looks, and when the real world results don’t make them feel like that it can really fuck with their reality and self esteem. Then, to make things worse, the one time when they do put themselves on the line and call out to the hot guy that they are flustered over, he just keeps on walking looking too cool for school and ignores them! (That guy was me in this scenario).
The other fascinating thing was...my reaction! I just kept walking, subconsciously trying to pretend that I didn’t notice! We got 50 meters away and I just said to the student “Wow. I totally just had an experience of what its like to be a hot girl and be put in a situation where you're enjoying the attention, but because of the social pressure that’s put on you its easier just to ignore it and walk off!”
How many times have you had a chick who was really into you or who responded well to your approach just get flustered and walk off, or girls you had a really good connection with just flake and not respond at all. James always says “It’s about how they feel about it. Sometimes they can be really into the guy, but in that very moment that the phone is ringing, the pressure gets to them and it’s just easier for them to just ignore the call and push the issue out of their mind rather than having to deal with a potentially awkward phone call it in that moment.”
Or how many times have you had a hot girls number, and put off calling because it’s daunting? I used to catch myself doing this all the time. “Oh ill call her tomorrow.” Then I’d say “No Liam you are just scared. It’s easy, just call her. You can do it.” I always feel better after I do it.
Anyway, girls feel the same way, and I was in that exact scenario! Here I am, an experienced seducer, being cat-called by hot horny 19 year olds in the daytime, and I just walk on by pretending I didn’t notice… when the real reason was because it was a very high-pressure situation to be put under and I didn’t want to have to deal with it! It was just easier for me to take the compliment/validation and keep walking. Of course after 30 seconds I was kicking myself. It makes it very easy to understand how girls can miss out on opportunities with attractive men because they can’t handle the pressure.
Later, when I was talking to the Canadian after kissing her, they all walked past. I had obviously come to my senses at this point and said “Hey! Are you the chicks that were yelling at me before?”
They said “Yeah! That was us!”
I said “Well you need to yell louder next time.”
They said “Is that your girlfriend?” pointing to Canadian chick. I said “Yeah” and put my arm around her.
They turn to her and go “Just so you know your boyfriend is really hot!”
And I yell after them “Nah I’m just kidding I just met her. How old are you?”
They go “Probably not old enough for you!”
And I gave them a laugh and a knowing nod. Right then their tram arrived, and they left.
So in summary I understand why girls bail out of situations that on paper seem to be in their favour. They spend all this time complaining that they never meet any good guys and then when a situation comes up they bail out.
Someone told me about their friend who got approached by a guy she was attracted to and asked for her number, she lied said she had a boyfriend and walked off. The reality was she was single and desperate. 30 seconds later she was complaining “Why did I just do that?! That guy was totally hot! I wish he had my number now!”
And another time I had this happen when I was chatting up these girls in McDonalds, I was being really forward with them saying “Will you be my girlfriend? I’m gonna cheat on you though, I’m a big slut.” And they were digging the role-play. I asked the one who was playing along as my ‘girlfriend’ for her number and she hesitated, and looked at her friends, who also didn’t know what to make of it, the fat friend goes ‘I’ll put it in!’...I knew she was gonna put in some fake number so I said “Hahah you’re gonna put in a fake number right” and she’s like “Haha I was gonna put in my mum!’
And I’m like “Ok cool. Well have a good night.” And walk off. We had a train to catch and I didn’t have time to convince some random chicks to give out their number if they were gonna be weird about it. I like girls who are relaxed and these chicks were really weird and nervous.
I see her 6 hours later on Brunswick St, which is a long way rom Box Hill, and she runs up to me “Hey! You’re the guy from McDonalds! Want my number?!” Then she saved it as “Call me.”
I texted her saying “I’m a slut” and she wrote back “I’m interested in your sluttiness! Come and find me!”
She was CLEARLY into me, but just in the pressure of the situation of me asking for her number, it was easier for her to make me look like a weirdo and miss her chance.
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CHAT
