Hi Everyone,

I am starting a thread, which is for my personal motivation, and which I hope can be a vehicle for speeding up my learning process, with your help.

It is basically a diary, or an ongoing account, of episodes that I encounter in my daily life, where I would like to approach, but where I often fail to do so. It is my hope that you will contribute your thoughts and ideas, and in this way help me, and others who find themselves in similar situations.

21. November, 2010:

This evening, at around 6 p.m., I notice a very attractive girl inside a cafe, sitting with a woman that I assume is her mum. I decide to enter, and take a seat close to the set, with direct view of the girl, and facing the back of her mum.

I order food, read a paper, check my smart phone, and basically remain calm and engaged in my own doings. I try to display that am a successful guy who can afford to eat at a nice café like this, and that this is all normal to me, which it actually is. Although very engaged in her conversation with her mum, at one stage the mum answers her mobile and the girl looks my way (I look up and notice this). I look into her eyes, and make sure I hold contact until she looks away, which she does after two seconds or so.

I am a little ahead of the set in terms of eating, so I order coffee. Eventually, the set gets up to leave, and the mum heads for the door. The girl, meanwhile, remains standing, giving me what I am sure is an IOI. She stands still at her chair 2 meters away from me, fidgeting with her mittens for 30 seconds, long enough for her mum to look at me, smile, and head out the door. The disinterested thing for the girl to do would be to walk with her mum and fix the mittens as she went. I mean, the mittens weren’t preventing the her from walking.

But, typically me, I do nothing. Well, I smile at her girl, and she notices that I do out of the corner of her eye, because although she is looking at her mittens, a shy little smile moves across her lips that instance... To my ’excuse’ there were three other sets around who might have ‘seen’ me trying to make conversation(!) How pathetic am I? What kind of barrier is this I can’t break through. Aaargh! I get the theory, I just … can’t … move …

In my mind I was asking if she needed any help. In reality, there was just silence, and she eventually left...

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Comments and ideas are very welcome. Best, Lopsy.

Reach down your pants next time, and check to see if you have any balls. If you do find that you do, realize that you are a man and make the approach.

Hah, it's all good bro. Even Style had approach anxiety, It's just part of the game you have to learn to overcome, personally. I hit a night club now, and drink a few beers, not to get me drunk, but to get me buzzed. Then, I start gaming. I've had some success with this, and believe me. I get approach anxiety all the time. But you have to think to yourself.

"It's just a video game, I want to get to the next level" or so to speak, atleast that is what I think.

I can sympathize. I've done the same kind of stuff, too. And I can't say I wouldn't have done exactly what you did in that situation, I may have or may not have. I think the important thing is that you realize what you should have done - which is to say something - and make sure not to make the same mistake again.

I really like the mentality of "There is no failure, only learning experiences." So learn from this and use it to fuel your next approach. Next time you're in a situation where you have the time to think, ask yourself if you'll be more sorry if you approach and get rejected or don't do anything and won't ever know if you would have.

What he said, approach, approach, approach, I was out of the game for awhile, just getting back in. I still get anxiety, but the more you approach the more confident you'll become, and that first night, or day whatever it may be, where your game is solid- It's just an excellent feeling afterwards, number closing, kissing closing, f-closing, whatever it may be. I just had my moment the other night, in a club. I went in, and made out with a chick within fifteen minutes. And I have to say, I'm very happy I found the community.

Stick your head up, approach, and hell. You'll do awesome. It just takes time getting use to the mentality, hell I'm still a noob myself, to all of it.