| So I went out last night in a mixed group to a music venue. Broke off from the group and opened sets, etc.
Later on I met one of the bands and we went to another venue because they were with one of the girls I was gaming. She actually ended up breaking off from the group and going home, but that didn't phase me.
At the second venue I pretty much opened every set, and ended up doing well with a 2-set of Columbians HB8 and HB6. I realised I had a bit of a problem because the HB6 obstacle was definitely gonna drag the friend home. Luckily a random guy came and gamed the HB6 just as we were outside getting ready to leave cuz the place was shutting.
Based on the dynamics of the situation (I wasn't sure if this guy's game was gonna be good enough to get them out of my way soon), I thought the best call was to say "hey guys my place is just around the corner, why don't we all go get a drink or two there?" General acquiescence ensued.
Now in terms of the HB8, we had mostly danced at the venue, and hadn't really had an opportunity to get the k-close in there. When we got to my place, I laid on the kino so we were hanging out on the sofa and she was sitting into me comfortably, with my arm around her. Once the other two left, I said "let me show you some of these cool photos I framed of my last trip in India." The photos are hanging in the hall just by my bedroom
I put on some mellow music and was showing her the photos. I held her from behind, stroked her hair away to one side and kissed her neck, and then turned her around and kissed her. She was willing, but not as eager as I would have liked. I thought I'd do a bit of kino push/pull, which got me a more enthusiastic kiss the second time around. At this point I thought, right, let's make out some more on the bed and then we're golden.
I took her hand and led her towards the bed, but then she resisted (surprisingly hard!) I thought, ok I know how to deal with this - freeze out time.
I went back over the computer and flicked through some songs. She comes over and is like "are you angry?" I said "no, angry at what?" She said "you know, because I didn't...you know..." I said "oh hey it's cool you don't have to do anything you don't want to. I guess I thought you were outgoing and adventurous, you know, like you said you were" (this was part of our qualification earlier). She said "I am, it's just I think that's too much of a step."
At this point I made a decision to run Adam Lyons' routine.
I said "oh well don't get the wrong idea, I never sleep with a girl I've met the same night. I'm a gentleman, as you can see, and I'll make you up the bed here and I'll sleep on the couch in there."
I went to do that for a minute and then came back. She was just standing in the bedroom looking at me, possibly somewhat confused. I went over and I was like, "no honestly this is your bed, please make yourself comfortable."
After a little bit more persuasion, she lay on the bed while I was away for a minute dealing with the couch. I came back and lay on the bed on my side just talking to her for a while. I think my mistake here was that I told a story which was kind of a metaphor for how a girl was happy by not caring about what other people thought of her and just did what she felt, no matter what the consequences. Despite her first language not being english, she very well understood what I was talking about, and started again saying how she wasn't ready. At this point I figured I was trying to persuade her with logic and words rather than emotions. I was also quite tired at this point and I was honestly losing the drive and energy to try to combat her LMR. We talked a bit more but there didn't seem a right moment to go back in for another kiss, and we ended up sleeping in the same bed but not having sex.
I feel like I AFCed the shit out of this situation, even though I thought I was leading, and I tried two of the best sounding LMR tactics there are.
Any LMR advice?
Do you think I can rescue this situation?
Can I call her and arrange a day two and go from there?
If so, what should my tactics be in terms of re-framing our interaction next time so that I can lead it towards sex whilst both putting this unfortunate episode behind us, and not coming across as needy, or getting LJBFed?
Any other general advice?
Edit: Just got a text basically saying that she had a fun time and wants to see me again. Don't know whether this means there's still attraction, or whether she's preparing her friend zone for a new inhabitant?
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CHAT
