Chicago weekend
3 day conference.
Sorry for the long report, but it's a three day event so I might as well throw it all into one. If you want to read it all, great. Otherwise, skip down to the "Crucial Point" part in Day 2, because that's where it gets really interesting.
Day 1.
Landed in Chicago on Friday evening for conference, immediately ran into some guys I know from Seattle and shared a cab with them to the hotel. At the hotel I ran into some people I know from Washington DC, one of whom was a HB8.5 who I've never met before, and I instantly introduced myself. Arranged for her to give me a ride to the function we were all going to that evening and got her number for the purpose before I'd even checked into the hotel, went up to the room, got myself cleaned up and into a smart outfit. Back to the lobby and called her up, they'd already left. I got a ride with some people I know from Boston.
Landed at the function, HB8.5 and her colleagues were in the bar and not going to the main event, but I talked her into going to it later. Negged her for taking off without me. I went in myself and got sat at a not ideal table with some people from Philadelphia.
I text HB8.5 negging her about what a good event she's missing, she replies asking if it has started yet, I let her know that dinner is about to be served and I have a seat beside me if she wants to come in. She calls a few minutes later and comes in. I stand up so she can see where I am, she comes and sits with me (not before the whole assembly of 500 people see this hot blonde being 'with' me).
So I throw in the standard negs about her being late, get her to tell stories about items of her jewelry, find out if she can salsa dance (she can, this information will come in useful later), and I get as many DHVs in as I can about my own activities with the organisation plus the stuff I do elsewhere. All the while I'm getting poisoned by this drunk to my left who keeps hanging over me (despite his wife's best efforts to hold him back) telling us to get in there and kiss. Myself and HB8.5 blow it off as best we can. She gets in a nice little put-down saying "well excuse me Jay Leno!" I high five her and the drunk objects to me "making fun of people." I give HB8.5 a look that says "he's good at taking it but not so good at giving it." I do some subtle kino escalation on her throughout all of this, getting as far as rubbing her back in the "you poor thing" fashion, but never lingering there for more than a few seconds.
After dinner (and the speeches) everyone gets up and mingles by the bar. I promise to introduce her to the movers and shakers in the organisation who she wants to get to know (unfortunately I don't follow through on this) and she goes off and mingles. Rather than chase after her I start opening sets. I stay with a three-set from Milwaukee for a while. I noticed that some of them were waning in their attention, so I rotate the conversation to bring in anyone who starts looking bored and might threaten to dislodge the set, so I keep them all entertained. Strangely enough, my conversation runs dry, the girls aren't terribly talkative, so I pull the plug on that set for now. (They're not going anywhere, the conference lasts all weekend.)
Back to HB8.5 who is now being worked by some guys from the midwest. I go over and introduce myself to the guys, bring myself into the conversation, change the subject to dance, suggest we ask the DJ if they have any salsa music (I'm confident I'm the only guy in the whole gathering who has that skill, I know she can do it because we talked about it earlier, remember?) They don't, but HB8.5 requests the Electric Slide, she gets up and leads it, the midwest guys join her, so I just join in and learn the dance on the fly. There's another song they play afterwards that involves that sort of 'line dancing' setup, so I stay up for that too. The whole gathering is watching this, so I make sure my moves are as smooth and slick as possible.
I go back and mingle some more, do some networking, get talking to some older colleagues of mine, but don't get too embedded in it because I'm just in pure hunting mode. I excuse myself and go back to talking to the girls, bouncing around from set to set, make sure I'm seen talking to plenty of male and female colleagues and the top brass rather than being a wallflower.
I persuade HB8.5 to share a cab with me back to the hotel. We talk our way to the exit, she gets collared by another guy who keeps her occupied. Rather than stand like a lost sheep waiting for her, I open up a passing HB6 (we'll call her HB6a) from Chicago (she's wasted) and run standard neg/DHV combinations on her. It's not hard to keep her attention or keep her amused, her dad comes over and I'm introduced to him. He's heard of me and the great work I'm doing for the organisation, I explain to him some more of what I'm doing and he sounds very interested. If he talks to her about me it'll be in positive terms. HB6a doesn't go away, interestingly.
Eventually HB8.5 dislodges from the guy, I get introduced to him (turns out I already dealt with him online so we have a long chat of our own) and myself and HB8.5 eventually get as far as outside where we grab a cab, just the two of us. During DHV-loaded conversation I mention that I made a movie for marketing purposes, and as we get closer to the hotel I bring up that movie again and say I'll show it to her if she swings by the room on her way to hers. "Do we have to look at it now?" she says, I say yes and it'll only take a minute, and I keep on talking to a different subject so that she doesn't get a chance to come back with an objection. She goes very quiet (I'm figuring she's not 100% in comfort at this point) so I keep talking to fill the void (I only had one alcoholic drink all night, so I'm pretty coherent) and when she comes into my room she turns the bar around to stop the door fully closing. I take the hint.
So I set the laptop up on the desk facing the end of my bed where she sits down, start it running, explain the work that went into making it, go quiet while she watches it, then excuse myself and go to the bathroom (figuring that it'd be better for her to watch the movie alone rather than the two of us sitting in awkward silence). I come back out and the movie's finished, she's doing something with the computer to try and eject the DVD, I neg her about having broken it, and we talk a little more but fuck it feels awkward! I decide not to kino escalate at this point because from her comfort levels it looks like seduction is out of the question, so I walk her out of the room. But I give her a big hug and I go for a kiss on the cheek, which she allows. I prolong the kiss on the cheek and edge closer to the mouth, still no word of protest. I hesitate for a split second wondering if I should go for the mouth, but instead I pull back and let her go. I figure I've got another night to close the deal.
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Day 2
I get up and speak at the conference with a massive DHV, my name is mentioned several times by top speakers.
At lunch I sit with my own people from San Francisco rather than the DC delegation since they're having a private meeting over lunch.
After conference, it's back to the bar where I sit down with the 3-set from Milwaukee. I find it very hard to keep the conversation going here. I have a large library of canned material but for some reason I find it hard to divert into it without sounding like a blatant PUA. Conversation runs dry and there are silences again. I'm just not building chemistry with anyone in this set, but it is serving the useful purpose of social proofing me as being seen with attractive girls.
The whole gathering later bounces to a pub. I get there with my friends from Seattle. I join the Milwaukee set again, but almost immediately move to the bar where I open up a lone HB6 from Chicago (HB6b). This one runs a whole lot better, I'm in good form here. Neg/DHV combinations seem to be working, we goof around with some camera-related stuff (multiple poses, etc.) and there's one pose where she insists that it looks like we're kissing (on the lips) and during the pose I hover about a millimetre from her lips wondering if I should go for it. Probably should have pecked her at least. I friend her on Facebook. She doesn't have an iPhone, so she's envious of how quickly I can do it.
As time wears on I move back to the Milwaukee set as a transition to a neighbouring HB8 from Boston who I open up. She's pretty hot so I just neg neg neg, I figured that the day's conference proceedings took care of enough DHVs. There's a lot of churning between sets here because a lot of guys (who are wasted) are goofing around with these girls. One guy does a great trick which I'm gonna copy. He takes Boston HB8's phone, calls a number, and starts talking into the phone saying "Hello? Yes? Yeah! [mad eyes] AAAaaaaaaaaagh!" And hangs up. He then takes his own phone out and says, "Oh look, a missed call!" He stole her number! "That's so mean!" she protests. At this point I got her number in a more standard way, plus I friended her on Facebook.
Meanwhile, HB8.5 from DC was in downtown Chicago with some college friends. I had been dancing around the issue with her earlier hoping to get an invite to join her, but it never came. I figured it was better to work this crowd, although I texted her asking if she was having fun. She never replied. HB6b is into me, but there's nowhere suitable in this little pub that I could move her to for isolation purposes. (Actually there was, but I couldn't think of a way of saying "let's go over here" without making it too obvious.)
At 2am this whole gathering bounces, some of them to a late club that closes at 5am. I'm alone with HB6b at this point, and she can barely keep her hands off me. Since I'm sober she asks if I can drive this little squad to the club, so I agree to do it (qualifying it by saying "if you're nice to me"). Seattle boys ride in the car.
We land at the club.
Remember Chicago HB6a from the previous night? She's in along with a HB9 (who I saw at the previous pub and was going to open, but didn't thanks to AA) and this incredible sexy young little Middle Eastern HB10, the most exotic chick I've ever seen. I go over to her and get into that set, forcing an intro to HB10 which doubles up as a punishment neg for HB6a who didn't introduce us. HB10 is very strong willed, this girl doesn't so much have a bitch shield but she doesn't seem to have any compelling reason to talk to me at this point, she's focussed on her conversation with HB6a. I run the "how do you know each other" line to try and put myself at the center of the conversation, which succeeds.
HB10 eventually moves to the back of the club with her friends, a UG0 take-away girl drags her off before I can disarm her. Rather than give chase I see that HB6a still has some people in her set, so I move back to HB 6b.
CRUCIAL POINT
After a while I find myself deep in set alone with HB6b. She's giving me the doggy bowl look and I'm nearly ready to start kino escalating with a view to making out.
Then I see HB10 at the end of the bar alone.
Nearly a minute goes by, she's still alone and not going anywhere.
I make a quick mental calculation.
This is a "bird in a hand is worth two in a bush" situation. I'm 100% confident I could be making out with HB6b within the next five minutes. On the other hand, HB10 is at the end of the bar, she's alone, I have some initial ground work done with her, and I'm feeling in the zone. My chances with her are a lot slimmer because I'm not as far along the road with her.
I decide to go for it, drop HB6b and go after HB10.
HB6b and myself are now accompanied by one of the Seattle dudes. I let the conversation drop, Seattle dude picks it up, I back out and promptly move to the end of the bar beside HB10. HB6b is looking over and watching this.
I can't remember my re-opener, but within a few minutes I'm telling a DHV-spiked story about how I ended up in America. The girl is fucking fascinated by it. Remember that empty uninterested attitude from before? That's gone. She's almost in a trance listening to the story, looking into my eyes and touching her hair. She wants to know a lot more about me. I think I'm on to a winner.
I get around into more DHV stories and since I'm getting IOIs I decide to start returning them since I figured that we're in the Mystery A3 phase, so I give her compliments about how complex and interesting she is (utterly avoiding even mentioning her insanely good looks). I don't kino-escalate though, I've just realised that I neglected that part. Chemistry is building here. UG0 shows up and asks if I've ever played Photo Hunt (it's a video game on the bar right beside us). The three of us start playing, but it takes a lot of concentration and it's a conversation killer. This set soon disintegrates, HB10 gets hauled off into a teenage drama situation about a friend who went outside and "lied" about where she was. I just hang with HB6a while all this is going on, and eventually HB10 gets hauled away to the back of the club again.
I had no organised wings to take care of UG0, but then again who would want to run interference on a 0? I looked back over to HB6b who was now being kino-escalated on the face by Seattle dude, and a minute later they're making out, swapping phone numbers, and making for the door.
Not much happens for a while, I join HB10 and co on the dance floor for a song or two, return to the HB6a set, but we're now getting to 5am. I go back to the back of the club, sit down beside HB10 who's sitting alone again, still in an agitated mood because of the teen drama situation, mentions "her boyfriend" (yeah, right, where was he tonight?) and she offers to help me figure out how to get a cab home. She says she'll be right back. I sit there for about five minutes, open a HB5 beside me with a question about how easy it is to get cabs, and I'm just out of the PUA mentality by now because I'm a bit exhausted and I'm genuinely concerned that I'll get back to the hotel safely in a strange city. My iPhone reassures me that I'm within an affordable taxi distance of the hotel. I eject at this point, put in a half-hearted search for HB10, then leave and get a cab with a conference guy from Boston. I got the offer of going to the house of a friend of HB6a, but I turned it down because I was really craving sleep.
Maybe I could have F closed HB6a if I'd gone back with her. Maybe HB10 was looking for me and not getting tangled up in more teen drama. Maybe maybe maybe.
Apparently HB8.5 from DC landed back to the hotel at about 2 and stayed in the bar there for a while with everyone else. It was 6am by the time I got back and there was nobody around.
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Day 3
Nothing much to report. Conference wrapped up early in the morning, spent the rest of the day in the bar with an SF friend, a guy from Philly, and HB6a who was happy to hang out with us. Lots of standard kisses on the cheek to HBs who were leaving (including HB8.5). HB6a seemed delighted to get kissing me on the cheek, she hugged me tightly.
Oh, at the airport coming back tonight I opened up a HB9 while waiting an endless wait for the shuttle back to the parking lot. Ran a little story that starts of with why manhole covers are round (because they can't fall in) and diverted to a humourous manhole-related story from my early childhood.
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Conclusion
Not a bad weekend's work. Pity about the lack of an F close, I had high hopes I was going to get one.
I think I can be proud of the fact that I didn't settle for HB6b when the opportunity for HB10 presented itself. I'f I'd scored with HB6b I would have been wondering if it were possible to have scored with HB10. The universe doesn't present opportunities like that very often, and I figured that you have to take them when you can.
Failure to score with HB6a? It's hard to say whether or not she was up for it. I hadn't really kino-escalated with her and I'm not sure where the comfort levels were. I didn't feel one bit of personal rejection with the HB10 - I truly viewed this whole weekend as like a science experiment and was pretty emotionally detached from the outcome.
Lessons:
- Find more ways to divert into the library of canned routines from common everyday conversation threads. It's also handy to have a list of humorous stories that you can tell based from common everyday objects - makes it easy to keep conversation going. It's like how I once sat down and compiled openers based on common items of womens' clothing.
- The story about how I landed in America is one that I used to tell all the time and actually got bored telling it, but now I know that it can be a pretty effective DHV-ridden routine, so I'm going to optimise my delivery of that.
- If iPhones were heavier they'd still be worth their weight in gold. You can use them for camera routines, friending people on Facebook, number closing, navigating in a strange city, etc.
- Don't forget to kino-escalate, no matter how good your verbal material is.
Biggest lesson of all:
- A bird in hand is not worth two in a bush. A bird in a hand is worthless, and the two in the bush are within my grasp.
Question to anyone who has read this far:
- What do you think of my decision to ditch HB6b (a dead cert) and go for HB10 (nowhere near certain)?
CHAT
