Please analyze this. Bad night for me.

My "gf" (haven't F-closed yet, don't see her often and haven't gotten the chance. we have been "together" for one week) calls me to pick her up from college at noon. She was with some friends and kisses me on the CHEEK. We then went to her house are chatting on the couch and I try to go for a kiss and she says "no". (She has been sick lately, stomach infection or something like that) so I didn't make a big deal about it.

I stare at her and she doesn't look back at me. Seated at the theatre I tried to hold her hand and she pushes my hand away. Then she says she tought I wanted to grab her leg and we finally hold hands (soo lame, wtf I am 25!). I was trying to play with her hand in a sorta sexy way...rubbing between her fingers slightly and crap like that.

Now, she said she didn't wanted to go clubbing cuz she doesn't feel ok. While at the movies a girlfriend calls her and NOW she decides she wants to go WITH HER to "look around". On the cab I tried to hug her but she resisted.
I asked her "are you upset or something?" and she says "not at all".

I dropped her and her friend at the clubbing zone and I went away to meet up with some friends. Now, HOW LAME AND PATHETIC THIS IS?

I mean, she said she didn't want to go out but as soon as her friend calls her she decides she wants to go "just for a while to look around". She didn't kiss me, hold hands, let me hug her, or anything. What she DID LET ME DO was to pay all cabs, movie tickets, food, and use my cell phone credit. She doesn't even take her wallet out when we go out cuz she is positive I am going to pay for absolutely everything!!

I feel and AM an absolute tool. This girl doesn't give me sex, she doesn't give me tenderness or care, she doesn't call me, she didn't buy me a fucking card for my birthday (but for her girlfriend's bday she bought something). She doesn't sit besides me at most places, she doesn't act like a girl who likes me AT ALL cuz she doesn't like me at all.

Furthermore guys, I was playing with her on the cab and told her "you never had a super sexy guy like me taking you to lots of cool places uh?" it was playful as I see it because she mentioned being stomach upset from so much good food and drinks. Her reply was "I HAVE HAD ACTUALLY" and I stared at her like WTF? and she tells me:

"you want me to lie to you? I think that is what you want". I said "no, I like honesty".

Geeez, I am sure she is quite uncomfortable with me around as her "bf". She didn't kiss me at all today, no hands, no interest, no attraction.


I have done a pretty good effort with this girl. I have showed her different sides of me, kind, tender, rude, sexual, innocent, alpha, caring, cocky, a dick, but all in all I haven't got her truly interested in me.

Guys please don't make my same mistakes, I am thinking of dumping this girl in the next couple of days.

cheers guys, please comment, flame, bash, whatever.

I had a girlfriend who was exactly like that one.

First thing to do: Dont let her feel that you havent nothing better to do than being with her. Its important that she fights for your attention, coz u are busy but u take your time for her coz u got no excuse to say "sorry i have no time SPAM" It has to look like she had luck to catch you at a moment u werent busy. You got a cool life and you have much better things to do than being with her.

Second thing to do: Dont show her that your emotional state of mind depends on her (what she does, says, moves,...) Dont show her that you suffer coz of her lameness. You enjoy your life and got your emotions fixed. You are strong and relaxed and u dont worry about the way she behaves to you. She is a little extra in your life and not the one and only occupation of your brain.

She is there with you and accepts going to cinema, theater, whatever.. take it as a chance. Even when u already dont want her anymore and most puas will tell you to forget her use her for testing your new skills, well thats what i would do.
Act like u didnt before: Neg her, take more attention to your friends. Tell her with your body language that she isnt attractive as before, etc. Also try to make her friends laugh and they enjoy your presence. Reduce the meetings with her as well. Make her feel she is losing you.


Tyson.

Dorian, buddy, you're a tool. So let's figure out how to get you out of this mess and get you back in your game.

First and foremost, ditch the chick. If she calls you to do something, tell her you're entertaining a young lady of your acquaintance tonight and can't see her. If she starts calling on a regular basis (she shouldn't; she should evaporate as soon as she figures you're fucking someone else when you have the option of being with her), tell her you need your space. If all else fails, tell her "I'm sorry, but I just don't find you attractive," and end it there.

Now let's talk about Pickmeism. This applies equally to you and some of the other guys on the forum, so I'm going to make this a very general thing.

Most of the guys involved in the game right now came into it with some pretty basic self-esteem problems. I'm one of them, so while I sympathize and empathize with your plight, I feel the need to correct the belief on which the plight is based. When a pretty woman shows interest in a man with low self-esteem, he latches onto her. She's picked him, and that provides him a sense of accomplishment and self-worth. There is nothing wrong with getting attached to a woman to whom you find yourself attracted, but doing so before certain criteria are met can be a dangerous and potentially game-fatal behavioral pattern.

You are suffering from Pickmeism if the following is true:
1) You are not sleeping with the girl in question.
2) You consider this individual your girlfriend, signifigant other, or similar.
3) You are not actively seeking companionship from other women due to your affiliation with the woman in question.
4) You are acting like a tool (even a little bit) for the woman in return for her attention, and little else.

If you have not slept with her, she is not your girlfriend. If you have been seeing one another for less than six months, she is not your girlfriend. If she has you buying things or paying for things while giving you little-to-nothing in return, she isn't WORTHY of being your girlfriend and you should ditch her. Move on to the next girl, and play it safter this time.

Shafts two cents... stay in his pocket because I wouldn't have paid for her movie or cab after she acted like that. I would have gave the coldest freeze out in the history of man. I would have actually probley gotten my own cab ride without her. You don't deserve that kind of woman man, Nobody does... I still find it funny though when I see it happen on the streets. But ya I totally agree with Monkey. With me and my new girlfriend Melissa, I told her straight up I agree in equality in relationships. I mean we went to a hockey game and she bought the tickets for me.... so the next outting I bought the food and movie. You don't wanna be in a take relationship. You need to find a girl that wants to be in a give and take relationship.