This girl broke up with her bf recently, we been having contact since then and there's a sexual vibe there.
I'll admit she's a former one-itis of mine and we have been sexual before, never a relationship though. This effects some parts of the game ofcourse.

She came over to check out my new place tonight and we had dinner in the city.

Bad points:
- I paid for dinner without letting her know I expect her to pay next time or pay for her half. First FU and a big one.
- Not being sexual enough (voice, eyes, body language etc.)

Good points:
- I was set on getting some pussy tonight, instead I'm writing this FR... THERE ARE NO GOOD POINTS!

Second big FU is when we are in the liquorstore and I go hold her from behind, she's totally comfortable pulling me in. In hindsight I feel I should've escalted right there by kissing her neck, set the tone of our night. Instead I tried to play it cool and I walked away.

Through the rest of the night I'd kino her some and she'd allow it, but didn't return. At points she crawled back a little.

At one point she wanted to watch some soap oprah, I didn't want to but she insisted. I let her watch it, said "enjoy eachother" and left to take a shit and shower. In the shower I'm thinking and feel I have two options.
A) Go full on sexual, GWM»-style make the ho say no
B) Go cold

We have history and going sexual and pushing it backfired once, so I chose to go cold. FU numero très, nice going fuckface!

Once I'm back in the room I pretty much ignore her by surfing on the computer while she's busy with her blackberry.
Finally we decide to watch a movie but I'm not getting next to her, instead I take a seat in a chair.
All the while she's going like "what are you doing?" "what's the matter?" etc.
I'm like "nothing" and stay friendly
Suddenly she's like "had a nice shower?" and touches my hair. That's all kino I got from her lol. (I wonder, is this a point where I could've flipped it and went for it?)

I simply said I had a great shower and continued enjoying the movie. After this she contacts a girlfriend, asking her to come pick her up and bring her home... The original plan was she would stay over.
YOU DID IT BABY!

Knowing her there might be a chance she didn't plan to stay at all, but that she was simply playing me. However, odds are I was perfectly set on getting some pussy and I screwed it up.

Looking back on it, I think the biggest mistake was not setting a more sexual tone early on.
Also, now I see that after I went cold she gave me multiple signals
- The shower question plus hair kino (lol @ hair kino, is that even customary lingo?)
- She put on an RnB station, she is a house girl normally
- She was a little drunk and she went like "Steve, do you think I'm ugly?"
- She was displaying "seductive" BL
So actually the night probably could've been saved and would've went down as one of my greatest lays ever thanks to my go cold move, IF I JUST had switched back to hot at one of these signals.

The fact that I didn't act on so many signals makes me realize that being around her pushes me into my old frame, because her frame is so strong. She's always had a strong frame and that's why boys are all over her.

WTF do I do next? I feel I have two options again.
A) Staying cold.
Though I feel this would make her curious blablabla ultimately it won't get me laid with her. Also, it feels as if I would be punishing her for the FU I made.
B) Going bold (not cold, bold)
Tell her that we both know we like eachother like that and that we should both stop fooling eachother and ourselves. Then go in for the kill.

But most importantly I must adop a stronger frame. I must take control.



Atleast I had the most fun I could writing this FU, hope you had fun reading it.

ANY comments and thoughts are welcome, especially advice/pointers/etc.

your trying to hard to distance yourself from her if the vibe is obv and shes letting you kino take advantage of it dont make her chase you anymore its obv not working here. It's mind boggling why you would sit in the chair and not next to her during the movie thats the biggest mistake you could've made your move there especially since she was asking what was wrong ect thats basically her telling "you whats wrong with you do you not want this pussy?"in that situation. If you get another shot at her dont be so distant set the vibe early and just increase it as the night goes on you want her in a good sexual mood by the time she gets to your house.

_________________
~Ricky

I can feel what has happened here: you were being cold and distant from her, which made her feel very awkward.

Try the following:

1. Take a shit and shower before you go out sarging or on an additional meeting. Mornings are best so you can go the rest of the day without needing to. Because leaving a girl you're with alone for a long time while you're in the bathroom kinda feels weird for her. Especially if you tell her to have fun without you while you're away. Its awkward for you too, if you were lauging together watching tv for the last half hour instead of in the bathroom, you would be all over each other probably, instead of being in a seperate chair. She must have been wondering why you were even here together if your're not doing anthing.

If u need to take a shower during a day2, take it with her. Or save it for first thing in the morning after you slept with her, and nothing of value will be lost while you're in there.

2. Being too passive.

You should have reacted more to her sexual advances, and framed her actions in a sexual way and escalate off them. Gotta go for it whenever, because waiting for a chance to do something created awkwardness, you mind is too focussed on going for the makeout sessiont hat you lose sight of your goal and fall out of the moment.

Also, simple things like telling her to bring money for dinner, putting on a high energy comedy show/movie instead of soaps, and showing her things ont he internet instead of boring her , make all the difference and create the sparks that maintain sexual tension.


Should have chose C: Just do it! Talking. about the dynamics will pretty much kill them.
You're in the privacy of your/her home, not saying no mean yes.

_________________

Thanks for the replies guys. I agree with both of you that I should've simply escalated. The reason I didn't do that is because I let her frame push me back in my old frame, that's what I think that happened. I need to frame control and adopt a stronger frame.
I never thought of this so explicitely, I'm definitely remembering this one.