Concious decision



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 Post subject: Concious decision
PostPosted: Sun Nov 23, 2008 12:24 pm 
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I have written this girl off as a just a friend as of last night and anything from here would be major damage control.

I met her last week and she had been asking about me all week as I was playing and busting on her when I was passing through the youth hostel during the week.

On the first night together we hung out on the pub crawl and went to a different pub on our own mid way through. Kino escalation was good with a bit of last minute resistance on the first kiss (she said she really wants to but cant, she was really torn about it and I said something about enjoying the moment and we had a really intense make out session). She seemed really, really happy afterwards. I left her for 15 minutes after that to help a friend get into another bar. When I came back it was all good except the next time I tried to kiss her she said she really does not want to and that she is only here for 3 months and promised herself she would not hook up with anyone. I made a bit of a mistake at that point and tried to keep escalating after getting blocked once only to get blocked again, I went to get a drink, she said she thought I had left and she went home.

The next day she came to the markets with me and a friend which was all friendly fun. She had her own party that night (I was at a different one), she left her party to come and join our pub crawl, we enjoyed ourselves in the friend zone and I didn't try to push it. Everyone out last night thought we where in a relationship for some reason. At the end of the night we ended up walking home along the beach and I told her I understood her position and that I did the same thing at times when I travelled though I did make one or two exceptions. I also talked to her about doing what felt right and that I thought she had made a smart decision and to stick with her intuition (she never said what her gut feel was for us I was just assuming that it was not to go forward). Maybe I'm being an AFC but I really don't want to be too forward and make her uncomfortable, maybe I need another angle. She gives me IOI's and when I act on them I'm getting blocked, it seems like she is really torn but has made a decision and is sticking to it.

Just writing this out has helped for me to identify allot of mistakes I have made.

Any ideas on bringing this one around or is she just a cool friend for 3 months?


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 4:20 am 
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Joined: Thu Nov 13, 2008 7:47 pm
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Location: New York
Some women dont know what the hell they want. What I would do is keep trying and if i keep getting blocked then decide for her and say LJBF. Better you saying it to her than her saying it to you.


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 7:52 am 
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Thanks for the suggestion.
I think that the damage has already been done,
I tried a to build attraction and escalate but she seems to know what I'm up to.
We have good fun but she is still acting like a bit of a gf (though nothing actually happens) when we party together.

I have basically decided to write this one off as a learning experience.
She is pretty much just a friend and a bit of social proof, if she stops chasing me around the club so much.


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