| I was also thinking of calling this post "3 Second Rule Rings True" or "Don't Forget to Bring Your Balls". Anyway, I got a late call from a buddy to go hang out with some friends at this cool bar at around 11:30. I wasn't 100% into it because I was getting ready to call it a night, but I said what the hell. I figured it was just going to be a piss-up, so I didn't go with any expectations beyond having a few drinks.
So, we get there, and the place has a really cool vibe: it's tiny and filled with smoke (Munich is gradually fading into the non-smoking thing) -reminds me of home back in the day... It's pretty full, and there's some pretty awesome alternative/rock music and the place has a house party feel to it. They've even got a fussball table, so me and my buddy are up for a game.
While waiting to play, I notice that just beside me are two girls who didn't stand out because they were dressed pretty casually. On closer inspection, one of the girls is maybe HB5 or 6, but her friend is easily an HB8 - foxy. They're dancing in their chairs a bit and chatting, and I eventually make eye contact with HB8. My German sucks, so I sort of gesture and ask if I can sit on an empty stool by them while I'm waiting to play. HB8 says no problem and slides the stool to me. There was nothing intense, but she gave a friendly smile and kept eye contact long enough to wake me up to the fact that I should be opening.
At this point, I'm thinking of what to open with when my buddy comes up to tell me something about the different rules of fussball in Europe. It only took 20 seconds or so, but it interrupted my train of thought. When I turned back around, I suddenly got overwhelmed with this feeling of awkwardness, and I just kept my mouth shut.
A minute or so later, some drunk jackass walks up to her and starts talking in her ear. She suddenly looked really mad, started putting on her coat, and threw her drink in his face. I lean in to ask if they need help, but they just said they're fine and left the bar. Damn... Who knows what would have come of this, but I think a few lessons really stuck in my mind that I thought I'd share:
1) Keep moving. The 3 second rule is all about keeping your momentum going. Don't pause to think of a snappy opener or anything, just open when you know the time is right. I should have moved right into conversation the second I sat down with those girls and made eye contact.
2) Any time, any place is a pick-up opportunity waiting to happen. I went into the night thinking it would just be a regular piss-up, and having to change that mental frame on the fly cost me. I think it's key to bring your game and have the switch set to 'ON' any time you step out the door.
3) Not opening = a 100% failure rate. AA prevents people from opening, and is often based on the false belief that avoiding rejection is somehow better than getting blown out. However, I regretted not opening all night, and obviously, I'm still thinking about it now. How is that any better than getting shot down?
4) Have some balls. Christ, I let a 20 second diversion from my buddy completely throw me off. I felt like my subconcious was trying to make excuses for me not to open and it latched onto this. The fact that I didn't just turn right back around and open is embarassing...
Anyhow, I'm making more of an effort to look back at lame nights like these and pick up things to iron out for next time. I'm going on about 3 hours sleep right now, and I'm sort of laughing because I've been making a point of opening and chatting with EVERYONE I've run into today to make up for last night. The weekend is here, so now it's time to bring my balls and game and move on...
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