Hi all, *think* this is the right section, it is a bit of an odd one.

Some quick background - I used to be a fairly regular lurker/poster a while back, used the skills to get a top notch girl, we were together for a long while (my post count obviously decreasing, save for the relationship section ), then we split, I've had a break from really pursuing women as I did feel kind of burnt by it all, and now were at present day.

History lesson maybe helpful.

I'm experiencing a pretty odd problem which is severely effecting my love life. Infact it's killing it.

I have a lot of natural skills, I'm flirtatious as a reflex and constantly flit between cocky/funny and tongue in cheek negging as a standard part of my personality. I'm a nice guy with a bad boys mouth. I admittedly am now rubbish pushing the envelope past the point of returned interest (I put this down to me being out of the game for a while) but I am suffering with something else.

I succeed building interest. I succeed getting the girl attracted. She shows attraction AND...

My brain. My male navigation as such, shuts down. It says no. I'm not interested.

I literally will think a girl is hot, rate her as a 7/10, 8/10 whatever and will engineer situations to meet her, do my homework and put in the work and actually get results. But as soon as interest is shown, whether suggestive verbally (flirty leading questions) or practically hanging off me, I lose interest. Not a concious choice, but I find myself literally thinking, "I actually don't like this girl", "I don't want to have sex with her", "I don't fancy her!" etc etc, and in a couple of situations this has ended all sexual performance. My body isn't interested.


I've heard of the thrill of the chase. But with every girl? Their attractive rating falls, my interested dash as soon as I feel like I've got somewhere.

In one case, the girl was then flirting back and I actually still felt like I could get somewhere...but this reflex comes in and sabotages it. I actually changed the subject and then got out there. Frustrated me to say the least.

Anyone have any thoughts on this? I am shy deep down? Not wanting to get close again? Am I afraid that I won't perform? Do I just not like them at all? Is it the thrill of the chase?

Any thoughts, tips, discussion, slap in faces etc welcome. I'm not a complete newbie, as I said, I used to apply the game regularly and get women with it, but now the dry spell has hit because of this weird mental state.

Cheers In Advance.

Riot.

_________________
Using situational openers?
Throwing yourself in?
Able to flow conversationally from every good or bad comment they make?
That's the way its done.
The only game is natural game.

Sounds like fear of future rejection or heartbreak. I've had similar feelings before.

What DO you like about these girls besides her looks? Because often looks do attract us, but once we find out that personality wise she's not as good as we hoped or expected we lose interest. What do you like about the girl besides her looks? Are you expecting anything? Do you think about anything? This isn't unusual, it happens to a quite a number of people. I'm one of them, and it's just natural and you shouldn't worry about it. If it still troubles you though, you can try this out. This is what I still do today.

Take out a notepad, or paper, and start writing what happen. Don't EVER pause to think of waht to say next, if you don't know what to say or your mind goes blank, just write my mind goes blank. This forces you to shut off your monkey chatter, your inner critic, and force you to really let yourself be honest with yourself. It lets your honest side out, do this until you feel like you put all of your thoughts whatever they are on paper. Now go back and reread them, pay attention to your habits and your thought patterns, your triggers, and why it happens the way it does. Now take every limiting beliefs, negative, or things you want to change and edit them with positive things or things you WANT to believe. like:

"I lost interest in a girl after she starts flirting with me" to "I love women, I appreciate them and I know they want me. I simply let it happen, and if I know I have choices. If I don't want them, I simply accept it and move on. It's okay to have choices and I know I am the prize...."

Something along those lines. This is a form of self therapy that I accidentally discover. It really helps you literally SEE the way you think because you are truly in the moment. That's all I can say, if you have any other questions I can look for other sources or give you the best of my opinion. Hope that helps man.


- Nelson

_________________
F*ck it, let's do it

"In order to fill your cup, you must first empty your cup" - Bruce Lee

"Becoming great with women is a by product of becoming great yourself" - Cory Skyy

Thanks for the responses guys, I think it definitely could be that fear of heartbreak. Maybe also a fear of being tied down aswell.

I would further this by saying that it isn't just in a future relationship sense.

I have the talents to be a serious PUA. I read individuals on this board having tonnes of casual sex/fuck buddys/on-off multiple girlfriends and I could be one of them. I find it odd that it gets to the point where I could be getting laid but I really don't want to do it. It's not just a fear of rejection because there is no rejection! I'm the one throwing in the rejection!! I haven't been laid in a while and I find it so frustrating that I can't just put this aside and go for it.

Is it just that I'm 'not like that' and that casual sex is something deep down I'm morally uncomfortable with and I'm looking for relationship rather than pua flings? Or is it just a limiting belief I should fight through?

Riot.

_________________
Using situational openers?
Throwing yourself in?
Able to flow conversationally from every good or bad comment they make?
That's the way its done.
The only game is natural game.

To Riot!:

Before I answer your question, let me ask you a question. What do YOU want? Do you want a relationship? casual sex? multiple relationships? FWB's? What is it? Because to me it sounds like you are doing everything right, but you are unsure of what it is that you want, you're not satisfied and it's really obvious through your posts.

I think the problems lie with you not being congruent with yourself. If you think having casual sex is wrong, and you feel like this is where you're heading then you would do whatever it takes to sabotage it. Sometimes you do it without even knowing about it. If your actions does not match your mental state or beliefs, you will have this internal conflict. Hey, other guys enjoy casual sex, you don't, that means it's not for everyone. Not being laid has nothing to do with it. That is a limiting belief. You just have to accept the current reality and decide what to do with it. Getting laid means nothing because after the activity, you remain to be the same person you are before. You're not happier or worse, you're just you. So get over that bellief. As for casual sex, you gotta look deep down and question yourself, why you think it's morally wrong. Is it religion? Society? Family/friends?

Is this what YOU really believe in? Or is it others belief? You gotta worry about what you WANT and what you believe in. If you want it, know that it's okay to have desires, because it's human, sex is good, everyone loves sex, and as long no one is getting hurt, it's okay. As long as you're not manipulating them, using them, or whatever it is that is morally wrong in your standard, I think it's acceptable. If this is not what you believe in, then don't do it. This is your life man, how you live your life is based from your actions that you decided to take. But before you make these choices, you have this mindset or belief. What is it? What do you think? What do you believe? What do you want? Handle those first, and everything will take care of itself.



-Nelson

_________________
F*ck it, let's do it

"In order to fill your cup, you must first empty your cup" - Bruce Lee

"Becoming great with women is a by product of becoming great yourself" - Cory Skyy