yo, if any of you have read my journal for inner game, you'll see that in the space of about a week to 2 weeks, ive 'unlocked' the more confident dont give a fuck me, but i know theres so much more

The way i see it, however you can imagine yourself, you can be (aside from having superpowers etc lol) if you can imagine yourself as this super-confident cool as fuck guy, you can be it, in an instant, it will just feel a little uncomfortable and scary as your mind tells you its not sure how people will react

so now im left thinking, fuck it, why not go all the way and imagine the best possible me, in terms of beliefs and behaviours and inner game etc, and become it.
i noticed as i thought this, realised its so so possible, and seriously considered this, a real deep fear came to the surface. Its like as I was considering it, my sub-concious popped up to tell me "dont do it, you will get yourself killed" that is literally how i interpreted the fear. not a current im about to get killed fear, but a kind of warning.

has anyone else ever experienced this? hopefully there will be those of you reading this who really have reached a level where they are acting out how they imagine the best-self to be, who can relate.

if so, how do i approach it. I thought of gathering beliefs which tell me, hey, whatever challenges this brings, ill handle it, and well. but the kind of confidence im talking about developing is that of god like, I can never die and im stronger than all of you type confidence, think of eric from true blood.

then i thought of just accepting death, like really facing it and accepting it, and thinking fuck it ill live the most fulfilled life by being the most fullfilled powerful person, and if it gets me killed, fuck it, ive accepted it so am not afraid of it.

sorry for the long post, and deep topic, but any feedback?

cheers

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I refuse to let fear be a problem

Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees

Yea, the type of confidence you're talking about is when you have a base of safety and security.

With you, you will remove all fear and free yourself to be who you really are.

You can achieve this by setting 3 parts of safety and security. These are


- Physical base of security

When you know that nobody can harm you, or "touch" you. So that you can physicly defend yourself


- Emotional base of security

When you know that you can handle anything that happens. Like every kind of rejection.


- Mental base of security

When you make logical decisions, like I'm going to become good at pick up no matter what! A decision can give you a lot of power, because you in that moment accept every kind of consequence, like rejection and you promiss to yourself that you woun't be stopped by no rejection.


When you achieve this kind of base of safety and security, you feel calm inside and when you walk up anywhere, girls just notice you.
You have the confidence and you are really, trully laid back.

_________________
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Cheers man really appreciate this seems to make sense, will post how well its working

_________________
I refuse to let fear be a problem

Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees

Man, Ive definitely felt the same way before, I have personally strove to become a confident individual for a long time. For years I struggled to understand the concept of self confidence, however, it always seemed to elude me, and for a long time I truly felt like I wasnt born with the capability to be confident. To me confidence stems from how certain or assured I feel in my ability to be successful at a given task. Essentially confidence comes from experience, taking right action, and positive reinforcement, which in turn builds certitude and confidence. Although experience is essential the necessary ingredient to ensure that experience leads to confidence is self esteem. Self eseteem and confidence are often confused; however, they are very different. Self esteem does not come from experience, it comes from love. A love of ourselves, of others, life, and the universe, regardless of external conditions, outcomes, or our emotional state. Confidence can be built without self esteem but it has no substance or consistencey. An individual with self esteem may not have confidence in their abilities or effectiveness, however, they will be able to pursue positive experiences freely and easily because they are unaffected by failure. This leads to true confidence in all situations; confidence that is stable, sourced in our certitude and our sheer love for ourselves and all of the experiences that life has to offer. I know this because I worked tirelessly for seven years to improve my self confidence and made very little progress because I lacked self esteem. Focusing on building a foundation of self esteem has allowed me to build solid confidence, and the little voices that used to attack me from my unconscious have started to chill the fuck out.

Lucius, glad to hear you got this shit figured out? How did you go about doing it? Was it the fact that you made it a goal and put your focus towards it, or was it any certain 'things' that did it for you? I'm curious!?

And, what did you do for self-esteem, that's a huge one for me!

Thanks

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"Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced."

- Soren Kierkegaard

By no means have i got it all figured out. However, I feel I do have an understanding of the path I need to be taking in life. 7 years ago before I started studying social dynamics and sexuality I was so afraid of social rejection that I would have an anxiety attack every time I would come into contact with another human being other than my parents. I truly had no social skills, despite being good looking, athletic, having good grades, a wealthy family, guaranteed university education, being super fit, well groomed, etc. I actually had all of the shit we are told gets girls and for some god damn reason they had no interest in me and it drove me insane. So when i was 15 i started studying and practicing, and after years of work finally was in a place where i didnt get anxiety attacks, i had tons of women in my life, and I was the leader of a bunch of social groups. At that time I definitely felt confident, I was like "yeah, look at my skills now, Ive picked up and slept with multiple women in the same day, I have a great relationship, great friends, ive got this shit handled". I had confidence in my ability to be able to go up and get any girl i wanted because I had countless experiences to draw upon that reinforced this belief. However, I still had no self esteem at this point, and even tho I was like "yeah i can get girls" i still felt like I was a valueless piece of shit deep down. Getting a bunch of girls didnt fix it, getting super confident in my game didnt fix it. So i basically had a huge mid life crisis when i was only 20 because i had spent 5 years working my ass off to be able to get girls and once i had got them i felt even more unhappy with my self. I lost everything, almost dropped out of school, then i decided i needed to do something really radical, so i started living with some Vaishnava monks and began practicing meditation for over 3 hrs a day, and was reading and discussing the Bhagavad Gita and other Vedic texts daily. After living with the monks for a month i left to start studying other forms of meditation (Buddhist, Taoist, Therapeutic, Tantric), and for around 5 months i meditated for around 5 hours a day. Around the 4 month mark I began to completely disconnect from external reality. My thought process was no longer being affected by my environment, which allowed me to finally connect with and understand the emotions that had been unconsciously driving my actions. I realized that I had been hiding, hiding from my past and hiding from my true self. When I was a kid i went to a school with only 150 kids, and unfortunately I was the social outcast. I was the social outcast, and the bad kid, because every single day when i would get pushed around by the popular kids I wouldnt just take it like a bitch, I would fight back, but as soon as i fought back they would rat on me, and since the popular kids were also popular with the teachers i would essentially get in trouble. Every single day I would get punished for trying to defend myself, and eventually one day i just broke. I just couldnt keep fighting, i gave up, and just started crying, and went to a corner of the playground by myself, and just stayed there and cried until my teacher realized i didnt come back to class. I broke because the only friend I had dropped me to be cool, I felt like I was going to die, I had nobody, and couldnt figure out why other people were constantly harassing me. The answer my 8 year old self came up with was that I simply had absolutely no value as a human being, that could be the only possible reason why people would treat me this way. From that moment on I spent the rest of my life constantly trying to cultivate more value to counterbalance the fact that I was valueless. Deep down I had no love for myself, no love for others, no love for life, i was constantly thinking about life, death, and purpose, I became obsessed with philosophy and logic. Essentially I had absolutely ZERO self esteem, and after 5 months of intense meditation I was finally able to realize I had created limiting beliefs at various points in my life where I experienced an emotional imprint, and that these limiting beliefs were essentially responsible for all of the bad emotions that I experience on a daily basis. Facing my limiting beliefs was the first step I took towards becoming an individual with self esteem. Now this takes a bit of explaining.

To me self esteem comes from recognizing that value judgement is a function of the ego, value judgement is our unconscious' way of quickly assessing whether or not something is beneficial to our "selves". If I derive my reality from an egoistic perspective then my personal value judgments will be solely responsible for all of the good and bad emotions that I experience. If my ego determines that I am cultivating value then I will experience good emotions, if I am straying from value then i will experience bad emotions. In the end, if I want to seriously be in control of my emotional state then the only solution is to drop value judgments all together by letting go of the ego. If I just let go of my ego completely, and accept that I am who I am, that I am beautiful, that everything is beautiful, then I become emotionally free, independent, strong. From this place of emotional freedom I began to understand true happiness. When I start to accept each moment as it is, without judgement, then each moment (regardless of the circumstances) becomes an integral part of the unfolding of my journey in life. Each moment is an opportunity to experience the greatest gift I have ever been given, life, and that is the greatest gift of all, something which no circumstance could ever detract from. This was the beginning of my journey towards self esteem. Once I freed myself from constantly judging each moment from my insignificant little egoistic perspective I began to accept that all life has equal inherent value in and of itself. When i began to build self esteem it was like starting from scratch, i stopped trying to hide beneath a breathtaking array of social and psychological tactics. In the past i never used routines, but i was in my head constantly moving chess pieces, and i knew i could move the chess pieces so i was confident, but it didnt translate into happiness until i started to let go of the god damn game completely.

For me this was the path i had to take in order to start moving towards a place of true happiness and self esteem. I hope it is helpful, and i dont necessarily prescribe trying to follow what I did exactly, everyone's path is different. I do think there are a few things that will help for everyones journey. Try to slow down your thinking, listen to your emotions, dont resist them, feel them out, try and understand where they are coming from. This will help identify limiting beliefs and emotional imprints that are responsible for negative emotions, which i suggest facing and diving into completely. Once you start to understand yourself emotionally you will begin to be able to take responsibility for your emotional health and happiness. When your in this place of power you will start to understand your path, what you need to give in order to be happy, and how to love without judgment. Then you will definitely be well on your way to realizing how much you fucking love yourself and everything around you, and then you will have self esteem, and happiness. Plus as a side benefit, when you finally love life, yourself and others unconditionally, regardless of fear or emotions, you will have a ridiculous abundance of women in your life because love is sexy as hell. I hope this helps in your journey, i would love to hear your thoughts.

- Lucius
stop going to the gym and start lifting big rocks and carrying them up hills if u want to feel like a real bad ass

this video is actually really great too it helped solidify a lot of things for me, check it out, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mo6jUXEpECI

Lucius, what can I say, thanks for the (long) reply.

I also meditate, a new routine that I picked up to overcome depression. I do 10-20 mins a day. It works well for me. In your experience would you recommend more? Also, I've looked into taking a retreat. Again, something you'd recommend?

Thanks a ton

_________________
"Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced."

- Soren Kierkegaard

I actually have another belief and opinion on this matter. I think self-esteem and confidence goes together. Yeah, sure they're two different things, but if you have a good self-esteem confidence will be a shadow to your self esteem. Before anyone can believe that you're confident, you're sexy, you're this, or whatever you want others to believe, YOU gotta believe that YOU ARE WHATEVER YOU WANT OTHERS TO BELIEVE FIRST! Meaning if you want to project yourself as a leader among men, a powerful man who naturally gains respect from others, get flirty looks and smiles from other women, YOU gotta believe that YOU ARE that man FIRST. The only way to do that is to either do it first then believe it or believe and really have faith in yourself then align yourself with your mindset.

The first one is usually the case, because in order to believe it, we must see it, because seeing is believing.

The second path is usually harder because we must believe, then we shall see. I think if anyone gains the skill of the second choice, that person would really be successful because they're able to materialize their beliefs and desires into reality and I think this is really possible. With discipline and constant strife to improving yourself and to get what you want, you will get it.

So if you want to be more confident, be a bad ass motherfaker, then simply learn what that looks like, what do these bamfs look like, and how they think, and simply position yourself in their paths and start walking. If you make mistakes, if you get off track, notice it, fix it or recalibrate until you align yourself with your goal, then walk again. Confidence has a lot to do with trust and faith with yourself no matter what. There are times when uncertainties and unknown obstacles reveal themselves, but if you know yourself really well, your strengths, your weaknesses, and how you work, with the correct mindset and beliefs in yourself, you can simply overcome it, you just gotta have faith in yourself. Whether you react or not to the situation, somethings still going to happen, and whatever happens, you will learn from it, so it's not that bad. Learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. When you can stay calm and centered no matter whatever problems present itself, you will deal with it confidently, calm, and cool. Hope that helps my friend.


- Nelson

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F*ck it, let's do it

"In order to fill your cup, you must first empty your cup" - Bruce Lee

"Becoming great with women is a by product of becoming great yourself" - Cory Skyy

lucius that was a great post, i particularly like

[quote]Try to slow down your thinking, listen to your emotions, dont resist them, feel them out, try and understand where they are coming from. This will help identify limiting beliefs and emotional imprints that are responsible for negative emotions, which i suggest facing and diving into completely. Once you start to understand yourself emotionally you will begin to be able to take responsibility for your emotional health and happiness. When your in this place of power you will start to understand your path, what you need to give in order to be happy

and will take that as good advice.

what a confusing subject this is! part of me is like 'fuck it man, let your emotions do as they please and just go after girls/job etc, your not ment to figure out the meaning of life at 17'

then part of me understands what an important, life-changing journey this would be, and wants to work at it, but is just so dam confused on where to start, but the qoute above really does make sense to me

_________________
I refuse to let fear be a problem

Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees

Soren K i think 10-20 min to start is great, i find that what works for me is a morning meditation that is a bit longer, a quick 15 min one in the afternoon, and another short meditation before bed. A retreat would be great, what kind of meditation are you studying and what kind of retreat were you thinking of doing?

BoxerSpirit I believe that ever sing day that you are alive you are discovering the true meaning of life. To me the meaning of life is life itself. It requires no higher purpose. All life and all things, in and of themselves, have satisfied the greatest requirement of meaning by simply existing. I want to go on a philosophical rant but i think thats enough, because in the end, the meaning of life really doesnt matter, but the meaning of your life does. I believe the most important question is what is the meaning of my life, lets get selfish here haha. But really, think to yourself, what gift do I have to give? I used to think "what do i want to do with my life?" or "what do i want to accomplish in life?" and I could never find an answer. Then i shifted my thinking and started to ask "what do i want to give?" and my purpose began to start to unfold more and more on a daily basis. Try to let go of your own desires and all of the situations you find yourself in currently that are stressing you out. Try to disconnect from any external influences and listen to your emotions, what are they compelling you to do? what have you been given to share? that process really helped me to find the path that i need to be taking in life, i hope in helps.

- Lucius

"what lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us" - Stephen Covey