When I was around 8 or 9 years old I started view pornographic magazines. I struggle to have relationships with others and am scared of women, but never thought much about looking at porn.

Now that I am older, I look back on my porn obsession throughout the years and see how it has damaged my life. I always felt a great sense of shame and low self-esteem. Could looking at porn from a young child on contribute to having these problems?

thanks

To be honest with you 10klvr, looking at porn at 9 or 10 isn't all that damaging. It could be worse; I've been looking at porn and doing shit since I was 6. Though I've never had sex per say I've done shit with close friends and relatives. Not exactly the shit I would brag about. My big bro being a bit stupid and ignorant him self forced me to look at porn and intimidated me if I didn't watch porn. That started a horrible cycle of chronic masturbation and just having horrible relationships with people period. I never said it can't be damaging but I think it’s not something that will take many years to fix. Most people discover porn at the ages of 9-13. Any younger could cause a scar. I have many battle scars throughout my life.

I personally think you’re a bit too worried about this. We have to remember that even kids can be sexual creatures. Not that I condone adults tainting children, but from my personal life I can say that I have always been a sexual person and desired to express it. This has caused both good and bad in my life. I do think I would be better off if I had discovered it as late as 9 years old instead of being 5 or 6. I barely had a concept of what life is . Quite fucked up but hell life is life man.

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USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR BREAKING RULE #2 and #9

I feel that my addiction to porn from a child skewed me on how relationships should be. I have always been scared to talk to women. I feel like I am damaged and unworthy.

There is another question I have, what effects does molestation have on a child? The reason I ask is, I was sort of molested by another boy the same age as me, right around the time I was 8. I wasn't violently raped or anything, but he forced his genitals on me (which was fuckin disgusting ). I remember feeling very ashamed and embarrased after this event.

thanks

Hi,

I think the molestation might have greater impact than porn, I'm no expert so don't take my word for it. It was a traumatic experience for you. The porn thing, I can see it leaving a scar only if something traumatic happened along with it, like getting caught and being punished for it. Such an experience, for example, caused premature ejaculation problems with a friend of mine. Can you maybe expand on how you feel around women, what kind of fear do you feel?

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rAFC and yes, I'm a chick.

I have bursts of being a lady, but it doesn't last long.

ill admit i watch porn a lot and read mens magazines from fhm to penthouse and have done for years, your right its bad and ill explain why it does certain things,

firstly watching porn leads you to a certain expectation that its easy to get sex from a girl, as all girls in porn are willing to do whatever you want. you never see a guy taking a girl out or anything they met up and straight away have sex sadly as much as we want that to happen it wont not 100% of the time yes it may happen once or twice but a daily thing with insanely hot girls no!

secondly no girl is going to meet your expectation, sadly this effects me badly! i meet girls and i have this mental image of what a woman should look like and if they fail to meet this theyve got no chance and ill stay away. im not saying that this is the right thing but i judge very harshly on looks

and finally porn leads to this thinking of theres nothing to worry about i aint gonna get a girl pregnant or catch a disease, i dont need to use a condom. wrong you will be lucky maybe a couple of times then its gonna hit you when some strange girl you had sex with tells you im pregnant or you may have caught something.
heres what they dont tell you about porn you have to be tested every 30 days and produce a valid clean bill of health against std's or you wont work again. or how many pornstars have caught std's and forced to retire. then theres the amount of girls in porn that have gotten pregnant from performing on screen (apparently 1 known pornstar has had 5 abortions in the last year!) and then a couple of girls didnt know and it was too late to terminate so they were stuck with a baby from a guy that they were paid to have sex with on screen

i dont tell you this to put you off porn but its important to know this so you can think about this, i ve met a couple of pornstars including eva angelina and she said that porn is basically a man and womans fantasy sex life it doesnt exist its not real. its like strip clubs they SELL you a fantasy that you could get a girl like that if you come in but in a sense they give something then take it away.

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life sucks and then you die! deal with it

Thank you guys for your help!

Starting from the time I was a kid, I felt a huge sense of shame and unworthiness around women. I also feel like I am damaged goods. Nobody likes me, including women was the mentality I had.

I have done nothing, but be able to attract people who are losers into my life. I feel unworthy to have anything better. I have had a few girlfriends in my life. They were all girls with severe mental issues. I felt like I had to hang onto these girls, due to the fact that I am unworthy and not capable of securing another woman.

My folks did not help to rehabilitate me when I was struggling as a youth. They knew of what happened and did nothing about it. My father also views pornography, so I am genetically predisposed to liking it.

Life has sucked for me and I think these are some root reasons why. I want to change and overcome my shame and low self-esteem. I appreciate your guys help!

you remind me so much of myself

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life sucks and then you die! deal with it

What is the best way to overcome scars left from childhood?

there are several ways, you can either deal with it and move on or you can brush it under the rug and forget about it. heres a problem if you brush it under the carpet it will come up again and youll be forced to confront it.

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life sucks and then you die! deal with it

What is a way to overcome scars from the past? I can't go back in time and beat the shit out of the kid who molested me.

thank you for your help

sadly this will be harsh but dealing with it means accepting that it happened to you and moving on, youre conflicted because its hard to fathom why it happened. im not a victim of sexual abuse so i cant say i understand why it happened or the trauma it brought on, i ve had harsh experience happen to me but not what youve been through. my history is i was bullied majorly throughout my life because i was the nerdy guy, i can answer any question on star trek or james bond or wrestling but ask me a question about football or cars i wouldnt have a clue, ive been compared to sheldon from the big bang theory! then the first girlfriend i ever had was a girll who abused me cheated on me and got pregnant and baited me by saying its all my fault and that i brought it on myself. i had to accept it happened and move on, if you cant move past it i would say see someone i did and im not ashamed of that

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life sucks and then you die! deal with it

hey I've been watching porn since I was little too probably around 7 or 8 and there have been effects from watching porn since that age but its not anything that has messed me up. I do masterbate a lot n some times and it does kill my sex drive and motivation to approach women but it doesn't give me a lot of misconceptions. I still love many different kinds of women and don't really have amazingly high standards for it. I think the molestion probably played a bigger part and if it did you might want to get some therapy to help get rid of the problems from it.

I feel your simply trying to pin your excuse for being afraid of women on something other than yourself. You have to be a man an take responsiblity. The first time I saw porn I was 4 with my older cuzin who was 7 at the time. I also had a cable box in my house with free porn available. Which led me to watching it every single day. And I'm just fine.

Every guy that hasn't grown up around a lot of women will feel some anxiety about approaching and talking to women. It has nothing to do with you obsession for porn at a young age. I will tell you that masturbation makes you less attractive to women subconsciously because your cheating out of real sex with a women with you self. Now what's that say about your value? It also lowers your testosterone levels and produces " x" (forgot the name) chemicals in your brain which tell your body you like satisfying your self more than being satisfied by a women. And womens feminine senses pick up on this subconsciously.

You just have to get out there and talk to women. Fuck your feelings, they change all the time. Just do it! Ask your self when you want to approach. " am I a man or a bitch?

agreed. I also was exposed to porn at an early age. For a while I delt with what I now understand to be a borderline addiction to porn/masturbation, but when i began to realize it I had to change my habits. I agree the most with the sentiment that mastubation makes you less likely to want to have healthy interactions with women.

Why risk rejection when you can just feed off of the horniness then run home and crank out the best possible fantasy scenario that never happend because you were to shy/insecure/afraid to walk up and take a risk.

It's not the porn that makes you fucked up, its the idea of having it as a fall back. If you want to really push yourself to overcome your hangups, you have to push that aside and force yourself to get off only when a woman does it for you. After a week of going through withdrawls you'll find your testoterone will increase (you burn if off every time you jack it) and you will feel more in control of your drive to succeed. Then, just play the numbers game - fake it till you make it. With full balls and a refusal to cave you will be amazed how driven you will feel.

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"Would it be wrong to join sexaholics anonymous to pick-up chicks?" "...yes, and stop eating that baby."

-Psych3r-