| So it's 5am right now, I'm in my office working on an essay that's due in under 12 hours and I'm about as close to finished as Homer Simpson is to becoming a real life human being. But I don't give a fuck. I've just been hit with a stroke of genius that I need to get out of my system.
During your PUA transformation, you are most likely going to start doubting yourself. Saying shit like "what the fuck am I doing?" or "this isn't really me" or some other bullshit. During these times a lot of people start to really question what they are doing in this community and whether or not it is really worth it. Let me tell you, it is.
But nonetheless there is going to be time when you just feel like stopping this and returning to the old you. If I am going to give one piece of advice on the forums it's this: don't go back to the old you. Shit, there is a reason you are on these boards. There is a reason you are sitting there reading this post. It's because you want a fucking change. You want to stop being who you were and you want to be someone else. Good.
But that is going to be fucking hard if you continue with your old habits. Legitimately, you will not go far in this game if you keep going back to the shit you used to do. Old habits are the one thing that held me back (and continue to hold me back) from being the person that I want to be. If that's becoming a mPUA or a Guru or even just a more confident guy, by continuing to practice my old habits I will always be taking 1 step forward and 2 fucking steps back. The same goes for all of you.
But this shit doesn't come easy. They're called habits for a reason. But, regardless, if you want to change, you need to grow a pair of balls, be a fucking man and make a proactive choice to change your fucking life.
Now since it's 5am and I've been up for countless hours reading political science journals my thoughts might not be too comprehensive so I'll be editing this post in the upcoming days so don't judge this until I'm done. But I'm going to give you guys a sort of list that will hopefully help everyone stop doing what wasn't working.
Ok, here it goes.
1. Recognize your habits
- The first fucking step that you need to do is sit down and see what your habits are. It doesn't matter if your habits include fidgeting when you sit or checking your ass for shit stains (I have had buddies who look at their ass in the mirror before they go out because they think they have shit - actual shit - on their ass). Recognize your habits. This will help you break your habits.
2. Make a decision to proactively stop doing the shit you listed in #1.
- This is straight forward. Decide you want to stop doing what you are doing. Don't half ass this shit either. You will take out what you put in. If you put 1 foot in the pool you won't learn how to swim. If you jump in head first, you'll either a) learn to swim or b) you'll fucking drown, but at least you weren't a pussy.
3. Be conscious of your actions
- During the course of the day, week, month, etc. always pay attention to what you are doing. Habits are sometimes so entrenched in your daily activity that you won't fucking notice that you are doing them. Sometimes it becomes your daily routine like sleeping or jerking off...Always notice what you are doing because I guarantee it, somebody else is going to notice. So fucking notice.
4. Debrief your daily actions
- While this step isn't as important as the last 3, it's still fucking important. At the end of the day, debrief. Look at what you did. Did you check your ass out in the mirror? No? Well then good for you, because you are slowly eliminating your fucking habits. If you realize "shit, I fucking touched my face today in class again and accidentally got ink on it," at least you realized it. Now go and fucking stop doing it.
5. Stop doing the shit you are doing
- This may seem redundant and repetitive, but that's because it's the main point of this post. Perform the previous 4 steps and then stop what you are fucking doing. Legitimately. Just stop. If you've taken the past 4 steps you should realize that the shit you are doing is not what you actually want to do. So stop it. Proactively stop it. Stop checking your ass out in the mirror, stop jerking off in ladies underwear, stop doing all the fucked up shit that you keep doing.
6. If you haven't stopped doing your shit yet, stop hanging around the people you hang out with.
- This part is probably the most difficult. If you are like me and in university, you will find this step next to impossible. I used to hang out with a bunch of goons who whenever I was with them, I went back to my old habits. I would smoke too much weed, or I'd start to bring myself to their idiotic level and then when I got home I'd realize what a fucking ass clown I was. This wasn't because I am an ass clown, it's because people you hang around with while you have these habits tend to bring them back out in you. If you want to change, then fucking do it. This part of change will be the most difficult, but trust me, it will be worth it. When you break your habits, try not to go back to these friends. Or if you do, make a mental note to assert your new self before you go back to being a toolbag.
7. If steps 1-6 haven't worked. Seek help.
- Now I haven't had to do this yet and I hope I will never have to, but if you need to really break a habit and the past 6 steps didn't fucking help. Then seek people who are paid to help. If you stutter, see a speech therapist. If you check your ass out, seek some sort of therapist...Just fix your shit or get someone to help you.
Again, I'll be back here editing this shit so don't get pissed off if this shit doesn't work. It worked for me, i can't say that this applies to all of you. But it's fucking important that you break old habits. Seriously. Break them.
Some good reads that I might recommend are Albert Camus "The Myth of Sisyphus." And yeah, that's it so far. I need to sleep and finish this fucking essay so I'm gone.
Jerry G
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