These are the important points that I notice KILL THE VIBE with women during your interactions

1, Needing That Outcome
You may have heard this before but it’s such a huge sticking point. During the interaction, needing that outcome, that response, that end result. The overwhelming desire to make it work and for things to go perfectly. This stiffens up the interaction and causes you to take on a wooden like demeanour (Think of trying to carefully to carry a full cup of tea and not spill it. Trying so hard makes you spill it).

You should be aware when you are in this outcome dependence state during the interaction. You find yourself analysing her a little too deeply and thinking about your responses far too much. In return she picks up on this hesitation and what ultimately gets communicated to her is that you are trying really hard to make this work. You lose value and lower attractiveness.

You need to keep an important point in mind when interacting with women. We humans always strive towards the perceived higher value person and generally the least reactive person in an interaction would be the one who holds this value. If you are looking for outcome with her and this causes you to react… It reduces your value and attractiveness.

2, Getting Bombarded with Emotions of Self Doubt
Ever been in an interaction with a girl and all of a sudden you start to doubt yourself and feel that you aren’t good enough? This is another huge sticking point for many men. Again this lowers your value and destroys attraction as your insecurities seep through. Think about this… If you were the real deal, high value and filled with genuine emotions of esteem and self worth. You knew without a shadow of doubt that her life would be enriched with you in it… Would emotions of self doubt come up for you? Would you fear a negative outcome? I think the answer is clear.

3, Putting in too much Energy to Early on During the Interaction
This is to do with calibration and can only be uncovered through lots of field experience. Going in to hard to early and then losing momentum. In other words the vibe just dies. You see you have great-approach-game but you let it all unleash too quickly. In other words you go in with major fire power and guns fill blazing, but then experience burn out. It just dies. So what’s the solution? Calibration is key. You need a good balance of energy that can be worked up as things progress. I guess this behaviour would occur from the mindset of ‘let her also work for you.’ Being slightly mysterious and making her have to figure you out, to push YOUR buttons.

Can you see the common thread with the above three points? They all go back to value. In order to create and sustain attractiveness you must demonstrate genuine and persistent value. This value begins with your internal emotions and ultimately gets communicated through your behaviours. But it’s all linked! A good balance between self development and live field experience is the perfect way to grow your game and become truly amazing at cold approaching and picking up women.

Day/Night whatever… Just get out there and do it. If you are just starting out I would suggest a ratio of 70% field experience and 30% personal development (including learning about dating-such as this article). As you skills improve I would tend to work more on yourself while still been out there. A good ratio of 50% infield and 50% personal development

By Colin Dubb

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Kelly Austin
Admin
Day Game Dating (Australia)

This one really frustrates me talking with men AND women both doing this sort of thing. The television/media doesn't help with this at all because they constantly bombard people with emotions that the people watching are almost worthy but not quite there.

So...i'm going to work out some thoughts on this here.

I rarely get the following across to guys because most aren't generally as perceptive as the women...women HAVE to develop this skill a bit so they usually start off being more observant. What I try to tell them is that they're stuck in a catch-22 of their own making that seems ridiculously easy to break out of when you "get it".

If a person thinks that s/he that s/he is not valuable, the other people pick up on this, and then act in ways they would to a person who is not valuable. SO FRIGGIN SIMPLE TO DO THE OPPOSITE.

I demonstrate this successfully to women who are friends when we are out. I'll look around, pick a couple of girls and say "girl #1 is going to automatically and instantly reject my suggestion to come over here and talk with us and #2 is going to (at least obviously consider it) come over here unless her friends are able to convince her not to but even if that happens you'll see that she wants to and will keep glancing over and may come over later".

At first girls who don't have clear (& conscious!) value perception will call bs and I'll explain "#1 there, look at her, she's fidgeting around, overly concerned about other girls that are wandering in and out of her area, watching for reactions to what she's saying, etc etc etc (i don't explain the rest, I could spend an hour) #2 is just chill, not scanning what other girls are wearing, she's just in the moment, open body posture in general, etc... (again, I could spend an hour making observations) IT'S COMPLETELY OBVIOUS THAT #2 FEELS SHE'S TRULY HIGH VALUE (no attention whoring, or other stuff like that)

And sure enough, I'll tell #1 to come over, she'll refuse (because that doesn't happen in a low-value girl/guys's reality) and #2 will (at least be curious and want to) come over because a chill, open posture, high value signaling guy who's hanging out with girls who signal that they value him suggested she come over to hang out with another group.

It's so obvious I am always reminded of David D's "Elusive Obvious" phrase, it's in plain sight, so ridiculously simple that people completely miss it: Believe that you have high value and that things that happen to high value people will happen and they WILL HAPPEN.

Another mention of this that comes to mind is in Blueprint Decoded where Tyler mentions (vaguely remember details) "have you ever had some girls tell you that you were hot and you reflexively dismissed them as messing with you?" (not sure exactly, but that was the main idea). That immediately destroys the connection!