Aim for rejection



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 Post subject: Aim for rejection
PostPosted: Tue Jan 25, 2011 7:43 pm 
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Is this a good idea or not?

I am new to any of this and was introduced by a friend, we are becoming each others wing and he's helping me a lot. I wanted to get rid of self doubt and fear of rejection, by aiming to be rejected.

I will say some bullshit like "I'm hoping to get laid tonight, you interested?"
Is this a good idea to help build confidence, and hell for all I know, one day a girl might actually be interested.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 25, 2011 8:56 pm 
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It's one of the stupider things I've found on this site. Do you think a pro athlete gets good by trying to fail, ever? No, he tries his best, figures out where he's fucking up and tweaks it. This "go out to fail" exercise is for pussies that are too scared to actually try and fail. It's just another way of avoiding rejection because you can just tell yourself, "She didn't like me because I wasn't really trying." It's pathetic and a waste of time. Also, the newbie mission made me feel like a Wal-Mart greeter. Gay.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 6:18 am 
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While I wont be as blunt as minsok, I agree overall with what he's saying. Aiming for rejection is counterproductive (after all, what is your end goal? Hopefully not failure). It does nothing to build confidence and by aiming for failure, you arent going to learn anything. Being shot down when you give it effort is normal and productive, but what you're suggesting sounds like a bad idea.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 10:15 am 
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Do you think a pro athlete gets good by trying to fail, ever?
Yes. It's highly relevant to combative arts. "Invest in loss." How do you cope with a situation when you do not have the upper hand?

Zen joke: don't just do something, stand there! :idea:


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:39 pm 
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You deliberately get yourself pinned/knocked out you mean?

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 3:02 pm 
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It was an idea for a warm up, maybe not as crude in the field. Just say some one liners or something I guessed. Without the intention of seduction or hanging around.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 5:49 pm 
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Why don't you just go around giving women compliments instead of horrible and offensive pick up lines. Seeing a woman light up motivates me, seeing them laugh and quickly walk away from me makes me feel like shit. But fuck it, if you want to try it, do it and report back why it was a terrible/great idea.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 7:09 pm 
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You deliberately get yourself pinned/knocked out you mean?
Yes. And especially for real world survival, beaten upon. Not to the point of causing injury to your organs, that's foolish, but destroying the ego within you that causes tension in your body that leads to physical damage. At least, that is a Russian way to look at taking a punch. The point isn't to become tougher, the point is to remove fear by dealing with fear. You cannot remove fear by insisting on being successful. From a combat perspective the question about professional athletes is just flat out wrong. I know that professional sports training must be grueling, but I have to wonder if non-combat sports that proceed towards a simple defined goal like "getting a ball into a basket" just aren't comparable to combat. I imagine the struggle of coaching and sports psychology, the internal struggle, is very similar though. They probably have to "invest in loss" even if the sport itself says "you must win."


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 8:16 am 
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Quote:
You deliberately get yourself pinned/knocked out you mean?
Yes. And especially for real world survival, beaten upon. Not to the point of causing injury to your organs, that's foolish, but destroying the ego within you that causes tension in your body that leads to physical damage. At least, that is a Russian way to look at taking a punch. The point isn't to become tougher, the point is to remove fear by dealing with fear. You cannot remove fear by insisting on being successful. From a combat perspective the question about professional athletes is just flat out wrong. I know that professional sports training must be grueling, but I have to wonder if non-combat sports that proceed towards a simple defined goal like "getting a ball into a basket" just aren't comparable to combat. I imagine the struggle of coaching and sports psychology, the internal struggle, is very similar though. They probably have to "invest in loss" even if the sport itself says "you must win."
You went totally off the rails and for what? Just to be the devil's advocate? Going out to fail is a stupid practice, in professional sports, in non-professional sports, in fights, in romance. You know how you remove fear here, you actually go out and try to pick up women until you get used to it. Half-assing it doesn't work, but if you've actually tried this exercise, if you actually can say why it's a good idea, without changing the subject to Russian cage fighting, then I'd like to hear your side. Otherwise, stop playing the devil's advocate for no good reason.

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 Post subject: ..
PostPosted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 10:12 am 
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aye trying to pick up chicks isnt like throwing a football 80 yards for your reciever to score a touch down. when you play a sport you dont have no deep concious feelings of fear when you shoot a basketball. the way girls work is a wholeee different world.

Not trying to score a girl while talking to her might help for beginers.
Its a bitch just talking to one. trying to suceed and fail is like someone punching you in the stomach.

thats my 2 cents.

i will go back to lurking now.

:lol:


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 3:14 pm 
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Aiming for rejection isn't a good idea. All that is is shielding your ego from harm by letting nobody close enough to touch it. To get good with women, you must actually try and reveal who you are. You get better at dealing with rejection when your character is solid enough to override individual opinions.

Ask yourself this. Is a robot confident? I'm sure one could be programed to walk up to women, say something dirty, and take a slap. But of course it isn't confident. It's just a mindless automation with no ego to destory. Real confidence involves risk. Don't become a robot.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 6:33 am 
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Ask yourself this. Is a robot confident? I'm sure one could be programed to walk up to women, say something dirty, and take a slap. But of course it isn't confident. It's just a mindless automation with no ego to destory. Real confidence involves risk. Don't become a robot.
Actually, emptying your mind of ego is an excellent description of how to invest in loss. When you are not seeking to win, the path can open to you, because that which was an impediment within your own mind is no longer present.

Don't know how much y'all like The Matrix, but "there is no spoon."

In another thread I tried to point a young man at thousands of years back, and thousands of years forwards. Sex and reproduction are illusions, it's an Evolutionary pattern and the cosmos does not care about you. What will the pickup mean when you are dead? The win, the loss?


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