Hey guys, I'm sitting here at the library studying communication. I came across an interesting theory about social norms in this book on group psychology. It stated that the definition of social norms is:
"Rules of behaviour manifested in a social pressure in which you are punished for if you break them" (swedish to english translation fair enough?) The punishment could be inofficial disapprovement, rejection or isolation from the closest surroundings.

It also said that the status of the individual is dependent on how well he can conform to the norms. "The more he's able to act according to the norm, the greater the chance is for him to reach a high position."

My question is do I need to be in a group to be attractive. I know I can fake being the leader of a group and all that but really? I have a HUUUUUUGE problem conforming to norms and right now I can't really say I have a strong group belonging.

What do you say?

First, let me say this... there are different social norms depending on what group you belong to. Look at it in terms of cliques in school, you have the jocks who rock all their sports gear, and behave very differently toward one another than say the artsy people, who also have a completely different type of dress. Or even look at differences between cultures, I think these are both perfect examples of what that book could be referring to.

In terms of pick up, it's much much easier if you have a good social circle, so the more groups you're a part of the better. Don't take that book as a cookie cutter science for social dynamics. You'd have to give me more of an idea of what you're referring to when you say you have "trouble conforming to norms", but personally I don't consider myself someone who conforms to the norm either. I like tons of different types of music, I can dress very very nice, or I can go out in sweats n a t shirt, or at times look completely rock star. I love sports, I love being artistic, and I'm a real nerd at times too. I am a part of many different types of groups. Some of my friends in those groups are straight up heavy metal types, my best friend prefers the finer things in life and i'd say would be the more sophisticated type, i've also got a best friend who's a complete redneck. My friends from those different groups do not all mesh together... trust me I've tried that. However, they all accept me for me regardless of what I wear or how I act.

Bottom line, make friends, get as big of a social circle as you can get because there will be many more women available to you. Don't concentrate on fitting to someone else's norms just be yourself. The people who matter will accept you for who you are, those who don't....they don't deserve to be a part of your circle anyway. However, if someone tries to help you change yourself for the better then they are a true friend who care about you, and most importantly don't be afraid to change for the better.

_________________
~ Foxx

Awesome. Great reply, thank you!