the dark side of my game



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 Post subject: the dark side of my game
PostPosted: Mon Oct 25, 2010 11:05 pm 
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hi guys
i'm pretty new to the game just some months anyway i'm happy because i've seen some nice results in both outer and inner game and i'm really exited about the journey i'm doing. but sometimes i'm still falling in the old bad habits like taking lot of drugs and drinking too much to the point to be higly self destructive. now i ask myself why i do this? one of the goal of my journey is to become a better person and when i act like this i really sabotate my own plan and that doesn't make any sense. so why i do this shit? i have an idea about this. there is a part in me, and maybe in all of us, that in some specific moments, doesn´t give a shit about the consequences just to enjoy a moment or the hope of a moment of intense pleasure, no matter the consequences.
i think there is something very interesting in this, and i want to have a positive approach and to take the positive part in this and understand deeper the dynamic involved. i mean if there is a desire in me to be high i should include this in my journey transforming it and finding an other way to express it, a way tha is not
a threat for my health and slow down my progress in the game. at least this is my idea and something that i think i have learned in this few months of inner game.
at the same time i would like to be stronger and say no to these bad habits.

any advice or consideration is really welcome
thanks

_________________
terencehill

BLESS THE PRESENT
TRUST YOURSELF
EXPECT THE BEST

the best way to avoid failure is to see it as a feedback


Last edited by terencehill on Wed Oct 27, 2010 5:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 10:33 am 
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I think you need to ask yourself why are you carrying out these destructive things? Is it due to anxiety in situations? Do you drink more when you are anxious? When you aren't as successful as you'd like to be? When you're too harsh on yourself?

By finding the route cause you will improve yourself as this may be what's holding you back-probably a better way than jusgt trying to cut down on the drinking etc is find out what is causing it and rectify it and you will be probably able to get rid of the destructive behaviour and also improve yourself at the same time- a win-win situation :)

Take Care,

Zix.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 5:39 pm 
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thanks bro, yes i have to understand why i carry these old habits. in the past i was a very introspective guy, reserved in a way and i was drinking and taking drugs and doing extreme things probably to be accepted by others, so i created a big part my personality around this . now i've changed a lot i'm more open and really willing to be a very social person, i understood the importance of social relations and is all myself want. i think that i carry these behaviours because they are old habits and also because i have to work more on my confidence i guess cause i often use alchool as a confidence bust. i will try to reduce drastically, still i'm interested to understand more about also the positive sides of that. i mean what am i searching when i go high? is it just an evasion from the reality, a bust of my confidence? or there is also some kind of hidden positive desires expressed in the wrong way? i would say i do it:
to be a more social person
to feel good and relaxed
because most of the people is doing it
to feel excited and have fun
and stuff like that
you see all we do we do it for a positive purpose, and maybe the problem comes when we don't find the proper way to express it.
maybe the key is here instead of saying i don't do this because is bad i would prefer to say i'm doing this because i want to reach these things, seems that this is not the proper way, or at leat not totally, in which way could i satisfy these important values?
you see where i'm going?
please feel free to share your thoughts

thanks

_________________
terencehill

BLESS THE PRESENT
TRUST YOURSELF
EXPECT THE BEST

the best way to avoid failure is to see it as a feedback


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 05, 2010 8:05 pm 
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terencehill your posts are very interesting to me. It sounds very similar to my situation.

Perhaps i worry too much about the world to ever be happy, and this is why i need a high, to take a step back from the constant worry and devilish anxiety and enjoy myself and other peoples company. I once used destructive drugs but have tinkered over the edge of no return too many times to enjoy drugs anymore.

I have made the choice that yoga is a better option. You know the comedown? 'what goes up must come down' and all that.. well the way i see things is yoga is a progressive art of getting high with the power of ones mind. There appears to be no negative affects..

Some Buddhists use drugs to calm themselves for meditation like kava kava which has no comedown which enables progression.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 10, 2010 9:24 pm 
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Quote:

Perhaps i worry too much about the world to ever be happy
.
hey bro do u mean u want to do something good for the world would u like to share that?
Quote:

I have made the choice that yoga is a better option. You know the comedown? 'what goes up must come down' and all that.. well the way i see things is yoga is a progressive art of getting high with the power of ones mind. There appears to be no negative affects..
.
i agree with u the comedown sucks!
what kind of yoga u do? i was into kundalini for a while then i moved to kung fu. it really helped a lot in many ways, i'm thinking to start again. for example when i practice kung fu i want to be in good shape and have lot of energies so i limit a lot drinking or behaviours that still my energy.also is a great way to detoxify the body.
[/quote]

just to add something to my previous posts
i'm reading an AMAZING book "NLP THE NEW TECHNOLOGY OF ACHIEVMENT" and there is a section about achieve the "personal congruence" trying to saying it with my words is when you can satisfy all the sides of your personality.

i paste a section of the book (from here http://ultimatesecretofnlp.com/nlp-basi ... congruence)

"Congruence means that all parts of you are in total alignment with what you’re doing at the moment. It means to have such rapport with yourself that what you say comes powerfully from within and can attract and influence others before a word is spoken.

Perhaps the best way to illustrate congruence is to describe incongruence. If you’ve ever made a presentation while part of you was worrying about bills, or the kids’ school, you know what it’s like to have your attention divided between what you’re actually doing now and other concerns that need to be taken care of later. You have also probably noticed that your presentation suffers when your attention is divided in this way.

Congruence is total attention to what you’re doing now. In Rob­ert A. Heinlein’s science-fiction classic, Stranger in a Strange Land, a woman describes Michael Valentine Smith’s total attention in this way: “When he’s kissing you, he isn’t doing anything else!”

When we’re incongruent, the parts of us that are not focused on the task at hand typically express themselves in nonverbal behavior like foot tapping, glancing out the window, a high-pitched, strained voice tone, etc. At best, these will only distract and confuse your client. At worst, he or she will interpret these signals to mean that you are incompetent or dishonest. Study after study indicates that approximately 80 percent of communication is nonverbal. These studies also find that when people are faced with a verbal message that has an incongruent nonverbal component (such as the words “I respect you,” spoken in a snickering voice tone) they will usually respond to the nonverbal message—even when they don’t con­sciously recognize it! Since people respond so powerfully to incon­gruence, it can undermine or destroy your communication, even when everything else you do is appropriate.

Since you’ve decided that the people with whom you do business and those with whom you have other kinds of relationships deserve this kind of consider­ation, there’s one more person you should consider deserving of it—you, including all the different parts of you. A wise person once said: “You’re the only person you have to wake up with every morning . and since you’re going to do it the rest of your life, it might as well be something you feel great about and en­joy.” In life we often push ourselves along because we need a shove to get going. Certainly there are times when we do need to plow through our resistance or suppress some feeling. But you can quickly get tired of doing that. There are probably times when you just want to attend to yourself. Consider the possibility that you might want to pay attention to yourself even more than you do now.

When it comes to ourselves, some of us have more experience at breaking rapport than building it. Think of just a few of the times when you’ve ignored what you intuitively knew was right for you—times you didn’t do something that you valued highly. Perhaps when you’ve done that in the past, things didn’t turn out well. Sometimes you might even have felt out of rapport with yourself– where one aspect of you wanted one thing and another part of you wanted something else. Often people only notice these feelings after something goes wrong. “You know, I had a funny feeling about that situation at the time.” The first step in dealing within congru­ence is to notice it clearly as it is happening, so that you can do something about it before it’s too late."

i find this stuff really inspiring.

so i took a piece of paper and i wrote down a list of my "sides"

for example:

i like to have fun
i like music
i like to dance
i like sex
i like to be high
(probably finding an alternative way to drinking or chemical drugs for example with meditacion)
i want to grow as a person
i want to be an enviromental activist
and so on...
(it's long :))

when i had this list under my eyes i think i realized some stuff about me. i felt like if i had the map of my life in my hands.

:idea: maybe this could be a sort of map to achieve what i want in life, maybe to find my pourpose.

also it make little sense to say i don't want to do this more and that's it, because in this way i'm not listening to some desire of myself, which intent is always good, maybe expressed in a way that is not convenient, and chances are that this part will come back later and even stronger, so is more wise to listen to it and change it in an other form

and think about it if people could satisfy all their wishes this world would be a cool place!

actually i want to try to follow my "map" and satisfy all my sides. i want to put myself in an environment where i can get it, maybe it will require a considerable amount of courage but WTF it worth trying!

i'm very happy to share any opinion and talking with u guys

i close this post with some guidelines from HUNA:

Bless the Present
Trust yourself.
Expect the best

_________________
terencehill

BLESS THE PRESENT
TRUST YOURSELF
EXPECT THE BEST

the best way to avoid failure is to see it as a feedback


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