Hello,
I wanted to write this post for anyone that is a nice person and ended up in the position I was in two years ago: adult male with low self esteem, little social/sexual experience but a MASSIVE drive to turn things around, and hope that it's possible, but hardly any idea how to.
I've lurked on these forums and made a few posts, but I've taken a new name to make this post since my old nameis pretty close to my real name and a couple of things that I say might be controversial.
This is what worked for me, in order of importance. I hope it will work for some of you.
1. If it means a LOT to you to sleep with a beautiful woman, or more. Hire an escort. Seriously.
You might have the best sex of your life.
I found myself far more confident after hiring an escort since I was no longer obsessed with thinking about sex with a beautiful woman. More clued up. Less at stake. Yeah sex is great but I realised through this experience not to 'put pussy on a pedastal' so to speak.
Yes ethically it's something to ponder, but if you watch porn, you watch some other guy pay for sex.
And er... good prostitutes enjoy their work
K enough whoremongering
2. Take up boxing. Learning to fight and getting fit makes you feel great and confident, especially on a night out surrounded by other males. Can you be an alpha male without believing yourself physically secure in your environment?
Plus in a boxing gym its social without you having to really talk - you just join in with the classes and you're part of something cool.
Martial arts is something I always wanted to do, but only got around to it after literally years of making other things my priority - now its one of the coolest things in my life.
If you don't want to fight, take up something else athletic that you admire and are inspired by, and realise that it's take hundreds of hours of practice at least before you're competent so give yourself some slack when you goof up.
Healthy soul in a healthy body
3. Move out of parents house. Don't live with parents unless you can help it.
Guess it's a no brainer for most people but I never realised how good I'd feel having my own place and taking care of everything myself.
4. Go out to bars by yourself.
Trust me on this one. I read this on msn article that says women prefer to pull men who go out by themselves. I've tried this the last two weeks running and meeting women has been child's play
To be fair I went out with the main intention of watching football but I was surprised and pleased by the results.
5. If there are any good looking middle aged women i.e. Milfs around FLIRT WITH THEM! They love it, and they will be guaranteed to flirt back, your confidence will rise as you realise that your personality IS sexy to women, when they are receptive. These women have, in my experience where I live, no 'bitch shield' or whatever, or in my preferred terminology they are easy to create rapport with. Don't be shy, C'mon you know you'd f*ck her if you got the chance, lol
6. Learn to sing. This is a low priority compared to the others but I think it gives me an edge - I've been learning to sing for two years now and I've improved remarkably with a lot of effort. It's great for lifting your spirits by singing a nice song, like Frank Sinatra's music. Also you can end up with a nice smooth voice and able to make conversation better since you will like the sound of your voice and others will be willing to listen. You can learn to sound upbeat or warm and seductive or caring, all great for stimulating emotions. (Don't be discouraged if you sound less than inspiring, it can take years of practice to improve - I would encourage you to concentrate real hard on listening to yourself, as much as anything else, you will be surprised how good you can become.)
7. Eat properly/well. Good food is good for your wellbeing. I recommend good vegetable soup, home made, steak, chicken curry, spaghetti bolognaise. (Not all at the same time wiseass.)
Above all you need life experience as much if not more than theory. I think theory is great for pointing out where you are going wrong, but if you want to rebuild what was broken and not working, you need to get new experiences and reform your life somehow. Then you will have those three simple things that women adore: confidence, confidence, confidence.
Good Luck!
CHAT