First of all, I would like to say that if anyone replies to this telling me to just be myself and not care what others think etc., I will be extremely disappointed that you did not carefully read my post.

I have two concerns:

1) I have been told numerous times to be myself in public. But wait a minute...

When I see all the 'popular' people, or people at the height of confidence, they tend to act in certain ways. The girls act the way the media portrays them to be, as do the guys. E.g. the guys are all amazing at at least one sport, and walk like athletes or something, the girls put on makeup and such under the influence of those beautiful actresses etcetera. Let's look at people off MTV's Jersey Shore show ('guidos' as they call themselves), which is heavily criticized due to its 'extreme' portrayals of Italian Americans in the NY-NJ area. These 'guidos' and 'guidettes' have grown up acting loud and being party animals, it's not like they're faking it or anything, that's why it looks amazingly natural.

Now, they are being themselves! They aren't faking anything. They have learned to act that way over a long period of time and have found comfort acting like that. People who look at them and try to act as such just look stupid.

I would like to learn to be like that and be comfortable with it...only then would I be comfortable being myself. The reason for this is because being outside of the social expectations requires one to be immensely happy all the time and exceedingly strong, to meditate and force oneself to be calm in order to be comfortable with oneself; I can do that, but it would just be easier if I could learn how to be 'cool' if you know what I mean by now.

E.g. in the olden days, rich young guys and girls who did not possess social skills as strong as others were taught how to be gentlemen and ladies, either by teachers or at schools, or by relatives; how to court girls/be courted by guys, walk, talk, dress, eat, display etiquette etcetera so that it would be second nature to them and they would thus become popular. Today, I'm guessing, it's just relatives who teach their younger family members how to 'be'. Isn't there anything like that now? Is there a way I can learn how to be cool? Lol sounds weird but..

and 2) I would like to practice talking to people, but where I live you can't just walk up to a stranger and start talking let alone say 'hi'. It's damn creepy over here. And no-one walks around outside where I live, the weather isn't suitable for that kind of leisure. So how do I practice talking to strangers if I can't even find any? The only place where I really meet people is at school, and I'm already quite unpopular there so I dunno what to do. You don't really 'meet' people at school everyday anyway. So how do I do this practice talking to people thing?

If you want people to love you, you must first love yourself.

You seem to lack self-confidence. Workout, change your style, do whatever you gotta do to make yourself feel great, then come back for advice.

You can't tell someone to be a certain way, man. Identify your strengths and weaknesses, don't pretend to be someone you're not. You don't have to be the loud party guy. You can be quiet and be just as successful as the obnoxious frat boys if you are comparable in confidence.

i don't get how to love myself. i honestly don't know what to feel. dunno what to do, i'm completely lost. do i have to hang out with the right people and learn from them or something?

and not really, if you're quiet like that people walk all over you. even when i'm older, in my twenties, people will still gravitate towards them, including women, or so i've been steered into believing.

Ah, the pleasantries of life. Yes, you can learn to love yourself; and that's the first prerequisite to be socially successful. The men and women you call 'cool' are not just like that because they were born pretty. They also exude confidence, because they believe that they're worth a million bucks, and act like it. A lot of these 'cool' people are not always handsome or gorgeous - a lot of times it seems like a regular Joe, like you and me, suddenly graduated to alpha status.

Start today. Start reading www.positivityblog.com, read the 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene, also read The Art of Seduction by the same author (severely underrated book that predated the e-dating guru phenomenon and gives you extensive knowledge not only about those around you, but how to attract and seduce them too).

Now these books are supplements to your actual growth. There is no one key to happiness or social success, except the action you take. It's a combination of many things. You have to have a vision, a dream. You need to be focused, you need to have prominent goals in your life. Chase the dream.

Don't worry about singularly working on how to attract more women - in most cases it's not a man's seduction that's lacking, it's his overall confidence. You need to do things that please you and flabbergast those around you. The better you get at anything - ANYTHING, literally - be it working out, investing money, playing an instrument, writing poems, painting, fixing cars..anything under the blue moon - you will feel more confident about yourself and your self-esteem will boost up. Do things that you only felt others could do - and when you tell yourself that glorious sentence, "I can't believe I pulled that off", you will only look one way - forward. Suddenly you will start telling yourself "If I could do that, then I can definitely do this", and it will be a lifetime of growth and happiness.