HI all,
First off, I hate to pile on with a back-story, but this is relevant to my post. About five years ago, I was brutally dumped in an LTR; I thought things were going well, but I found out later that she had been thinking of ways to dump me. This was absolutely crushing to my ego, and my self-esteem at that point pretty much fell through the floor and has never really recovered. I haven't been out with a girl since.
My question is, as I try to get my life back together with this PUA thing: How do I deal with this gaping wound in my inner game? I'm learning to do C&F, ramp up attraction with humor, etc, but a part of me is still convinced that no girl could ever love me, and that a female's affections are for "other people". This shakes up my attempts at building game; I manage at times to build up my confidence to the point where I start to feel like I am somebody, but anytime a girl gives me an IOD or responds negatively to my advances, I think "Of course! No girl could ever fall for me/ I don't deserve love", etc, and my self-esteem is reset back to zero.
I know many of you will say "Just man up", but this seems to be a really deep-seated problem with me, and I'd really like some advice on a good approach to fixing this; no matter how long it takes, I'm willing to work on it. I consider myself to be intelligent and appropriately self-critical, and have learned how to get better at things I apply myself to. But this constant reflexive negativity is making it very difficult for me to maintain strong inner game. Naturally, the fact that I haven't been with a girl for 5 years only reaffirms those disempowering thoughts.

Any advice is appreciated. Thanks in advance