Hello

I am kind of introvert, kind of loner, kind of outsider - it didnt really bother me: i escaped to my world of art, spent days reading, listening and creating music, watching movies, working out, drawing... but more i learned to have fun by myself, higher wall i created around myself. I have friends who like me for who i am, but i started to hate this ascetic monk i have become . I said to myself: it will pass, time will change you, you just need to hang out. Years passed but my alienation remains.

The other day while i was sitting immersed in mild melancholy, most gorgeous girl passed my way. Her gaze and her smile she gave to me worked like a splash of cold water or line of cocaine that woke me up from my dreamy tiredness - never have i felt so alive. Moments passed and i see her again. As i build my courage and wonder what to do, the most evil dwarf jumps from my mind and says: "What will you give? Sadness is only thing you have got". I knew he spoke truth, and while i was searching him to smash his fucking face and shut his fucking mouth, i could only find myself. I felt like a caged animal smashing against his cage, or like a criple who would like to walk, or a man who would like to fly.

JUst where and how to channel this desire to socialize. Years of living in the cave deprived me of my sight: i no longer see any light.
Question is simple, it may seem obvious to some, but to form an answer to it is not easy; i dare you to try it, and i hope you will manage to answer it, the question is this: How to have fun with people?