...that's what I've been feeling lately. It ebbs and flows.

It's the same trigger too: Being around people.

I went to the gym yesterday, and the same people I've gotten to know for over 8 months...I didn't even want to talk to.

In fact, I wanted to hurt some of them. Badly.
Yeah, I said it.



Everytime I see someone who I perceive as a person who gets girls (Read: Every human being I see), I get angry. Furious. Vehement. Smoke comes out of my head).

The same thought runs through my head: Why does this motherfucker get the girls, and I dont.




Forget me being sick and tired of not getting any, or even being able to develop a tight knit circle of friends...


...fuck them. Fuck everyone else. If I have to hurt to get women, fuck it, I WILL.




I've typed this before, and I'll type it again. I hate people. I hate seeing jerks walk off with beautiful girls, and I hate not being able to go out of my house. I know if I leave my house, and go to a club/bar, I will fucking demolish someone's face. I'm too angry to even leave my house.



I'm tired man. I'm tired of being lonely and isolated. I'm tired of suffering. No one seems to give a shit, which, in turn, is going to prompt me TO MAKE THEM GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ME BY FORCE.



I want my cut. I want my time to shine. If I have to injure someone to get it, I have no fucking problem.






How do you assholes do it? How the fuck do you get so many girls using these stupid parlor tricks you call "Pick up"? I swear if one of you fags tried to outgame me in a bar, I'd smash your fucking face in with a chair.

I'm sick and fucking tired of not being able to get the girls I want. I'm sick and tired of watching total tools and fucktards getting the women I want. I'm fucking tired of it.



Someone's gonna get hurt. I swear to fucking god. And it's going to be one of those AMOG assholes. I will rip the motherfucker to shreds. The dominant male is going to fucking die.


I swear by it.


...which is why I don't even leave my house anymore. I see a Psychologist, and a Psychiatrist. Not working.

I've sought counsel with my brother. Nothing.

I take meds. Nothing.


Nothing works. I just want revenge. I want all the popular kids I went to high school with to fucking suffer. I want them to feel the pain I felt. I want all those fucking jocks I was teammates with; all those fucking jerkoffs...to fucking die in a multi car accident.


And even then, I wont be happy.



All because I've been bullied since I was a little kid. All because I was urinated on in 5th grade. All because I got rejected by every single girl for prom, only to find out each of them went out with football/soccer players, and popular kids.



I'm fucking tired man. I'm fucking sick and tired. I want justice. I want my turn at bat. I want a girl sooo bad.

Yet, all you fucking assholes keep taking them, and making fun of people like me.


You rejoice when guys fail at getting women. You label AFCs, mPUAs, AMOGS, and all these other people, make fun of them, exclude guys who just WANT TO BE ACCEPTED, you fucking assholes.

I just want acceptance. A friend. Someone to confide in.


But no, all I get is manipulation, pain, ostracism, and shit-talking behind my back.



The hell do you expect me to do? You WANT me to kill myself? Do you people LIKE seeing others suffer?


Just tell me the fucking truth. What do I have to do to get what I want?

Please tell me. I'm having a hard time wanting to live.


...I want to end my life. Seriously. It's not worth being lonely and unwanted in the world, espeicially when you have a mental condition you're not even aware about hampering your ability to make it in an already difficult society to live in.



...and I bet your fucking laughing right now.

Yes not having sex or being in a relationship can lead to some deviant behavior. I personally have some demons.

It comes and goes...

My advice go out and get some sun...go out to the mall or club (this will get you over the scarcity issue). Maybe sarge a little hang in there, small steps.

Anger and self-pity, which I do not disparage you for. I go through this cycle of anger and suicidal thoughts myself, but it is twisted mind fuck that takes you on the road to nowhere. You have a choice of whether or not to embrace your irrational thoughts and turn them into feelings. That is a choice.

Read Eckhart Tolle's book "The power of now". I tried psychology for years, but only his book truly lets you kow why your mind twists things about so much.

Seriously dude, I can fucking relate. My friends abandoned me. I was in a country in Europe for 3 weeks without any social contact or connection. I was all by myself. This really fucked me up psychologically. I was beat up in a club for nu fucking reason. People talk behind my back for no fucking reason. I have these irrational phobias about the stupidest shit possible. I cant trust anyone. Im always on the lookout if I can trust people. I have been clinically depressed for a half a year. I was suicidal. But that doesnt matter anymore. Im past that. Of course I still have alot of issues but I got the tools to overcome these issues. Its just a matter of how much im gonna give in into those tools.

I meditate pretty much everyday. I meditate for a span of 80-120 minutes every day. Thats almost 2 fucking hours of meditation EVERY FUCKING DAY. And it doesnt get boring because of the progress im seeing. Seriously dude, check out the POWER OF NOW. I dont know how much times I have told you this but check it the fuck out. Fuck psychiatrists, fuck psychologists. Its too much money and you can get even better results from just reading books from the best self improvement people out there. Or if its really that bad and you truluy feel hopeless then check out Lucinda Bassets attacking anxuiety and deppression program. Youll get over this once you find the right tools and when you start taking action.

Your not geting girls simply because your inner game is fucked up man. Havent you watched any david deangelo seminars? If you get your inner shit together everything else will take care of itself. Dont expect a woman to bring you happiness because that same women will bring you pain. You need to be happy with yourself first. Fuck all the approaching for now. Start working on yourself. Start reading the power of now. Then start working on your shadow. Then start reading daler carnegeis book how to win friends and influence people. Bitching aint gonna solve your problems. Action will.

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Cut the shit, time to fuck.

Oh man,finally someone i can relate with,all i see here is "F-Closed HB8","K-Closed HB10",and that REALLY annoys me.
I get you buddie,i also have no chicks,im a freakin ugly monster,i want to see people suffer,I want to see them in the very deep shit,so they can feel as bad as i feel.
Its just not fair,they having a nice life,while you are just being a FUCKING LOSER.
Its very clear,that pick up is not a MAGICAL THING,some people,EVEN with pickup,are just gonna be the same losers,pickup DOES NOT save everybody.
I feel i want to give up,shoot myself in the head,i have zero motivation on moving foward,and i also dont feel im capable of improving.
What did i do to deserve this fucked up live god?

I read this post and it seriously worries the hell out of me. I am a compassionate person and I really feel for you guys. No-one deserves to feel this shit. I'm going to try and help you, but be warned I am going to be brutally honest and direct. If you can handle it, read on. If you can't, stop here.

I don't want to be harsh, but you guys need to realise that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I know you believe there is no-one who cares about you, but what about your families? I have just lost someone close to me through suicide and it has been so painful to deal with. He believed he was all alone in the world with no-one who cared about him. But his funeral proved otherwise - the amount of people who attended was astounding - he had no idea just how many lives he had touched. His only daughter is now left with a painful wound that will never completely heal.

I also have another friend who has been through what you guys are going through. He went crazy and believed everyone was out to get him. He even believed his own mother was trying to poison him, so he refused to eat or drink anything. This nearly killed him. He would watch TV and believe the characters in the shows were bitching about him and plotting against him. He would go for long walks in the middle of the night in dodgy neighbourhoods not caring if he was stabbed. He would read street signs and somehow in his brain believe that there were messages within these signs which were people plotting against him. He was violent towards others and ended up in prison.

He somehow realised that he had hit lower than he ever thought possible and realised the only place to go was up. He worked on his inner self and managed to come out on top. 15 years on, he has a beautiful and supportive girlfriend who knows all of this and loves him for the person he is. He also has a great job and circle of friends. It was hard work and he doesn't tell everyone this story, but it is possible to come out the other side as a better person.

It all comes from inside you. No-one can tell you how awesome you are if you don't believe it yourself. As for attracting girls and friends, why would anyone be attracted to someone who is so down on life and themselves? People want to be around other people who make them feel good about themselves. Seriosuly, do you go for women who are so openly depressed and honestly believe they are ugly and believe that life isn't worth living? So if not, then why would women go for men who are like this?
Ok Smarpesh, you have to realise you are on a PUA forum! These guys want to share their experiences because they are proud of their efforts. On the other hand, it is the internet so you can never be too sure how much of what you read is actual truth and how much is false. Also, it comes down to taste. They could be saying they K-Closed a HB10 but if you saw her, she could actually be a UG in your eyes.
I highly doubt this. But if you are projecting this image to others, this is how they will see you. Looks are not everything. Ok, there are a lot of superficial women out there, but why would you want to be with a superficial woman who probably doesn't have any brains. Would you not prefer to be with a woman who is on your level and you can actually have a conversation with? My boyfriend loves that I'm not a bimbo and can hold serious intelligent conversations with him and his friends.
They are having a nice life because they believe they deserve it. You are a "FUCKING LOSER" because that is how you perceive yourself and what you project onto others.
You are correct in saying PU is not a magical thing. But at least the guys who try and learn pick up are trying to improve their skills and are out there trying to meet women. If they really are complete losers, the women will realise this and then make up their own minds.
This will not help things. Like I have said above, suicide is not the answer. I think you need proffessional help - it seems like you are seriously depressed and there is help out there for you Smarpesh. Don't give up - you have to rise above this and be strong. I know it seems like the whole world is against you, but there is help.
This is awesome advice from Jlax - he was in the same position as you and managed to get out so it is possible.
This is more good advice from Sergeant Troy. Listen to these guys - they know what they are talking about.
Rune, this is a serious worry and you really need to calm down. Do you do anger management classes?
What's the point? If you hurt someone else in front of a woman, I doubt she will be impressed and you will end up with her being scared of you for being able to inflict so much pain on another human being.
If you feel like you have to injure someone else to have your time to shine, enjoy your shining life in prison.
I am so sorry to hear this. It is disgusting what kids can do to other kids. Rune, you have to rise above them though. What they did was wrong but you have to show them you didn't let them affect you and ruin your life, otherwise they have won. Why did the girls favour the popular boys over you for prom? Because people are drawn to confident and happy people. No matter how big a fucktard the popular guys were, they had the confidence to attract girls and friends. You need to work on increasing your confidence to get the girls.
It's natural to want this - everyone wants this. You need to find someone on the same level as you, but first you need to calm down. Because you are not going to attract anyone decent with this sort of behavior you are displaying. The only people you will attract at the moment are pyschopaths who would rather fuck you over harder than you ever thought possible than be your confidant.
You need to calm down and work on your inner self in order to attract good people to you. Acting the way you are will totally scare good girls away from you or if it does attract them (which is doubtful), it will just be the ones who feel sorry for you. You do NOT want a woman who just feels sorry for you.
Rune, I know it feels that way, but you are not unwanted in the world. You just need to change your outlook to a more positive one and you will be amazed what you can achieve and the people who you will attract. There are compassionate people out there (like me) who will want to help you, so please get some help.
I highly doubt anyone who reads this post will laugh. I read it and cried (I know, such a woman thing to do). It makes me so sad to hear that there are people living such horribly depressing lives and there is nothing I can do to help them. I don't even know you and this is affecting me - I am an emotional person though I guess.

I really hope this has at least shown you that there are compassionate people out there who want to help you.

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....Thought you might like a girl's opinion....

Thanks for the word of adivice GF of a PUA.
But its hard when you are uglier than the son of the devil,like if i have a total deformed face,and fucked up skin,even harder when you see other dudes dating and picking up girls,i feel SO unable.
In the end, looks are 60% of the game,so the game doesnt really help in my case.
thats why i wanna end my life.
I also have no money,and no health.
An if a guy is fucking handsome,he didnt do any effort,the only thing he should be proud of,are his luck.

You're welcome.

If looks are 60% of the game so the game deosn't help you, then don't use the game - just be yourself.

There will be a girl out there for you - you just need to believe that and have more faith in yourself and more self confidence. It would help if you read books like Jlax suggested - I have heard from friends that the Power of Now is an amazing read and seriously helps one's mindset.

My boyfriend is currently going through what you are feeling (not to the same extent maybe) but he feels like he isn't attractive enough, he has no money to spend on me or to improve himself and he is constantly getting sick. I absolutely adore him and I want to help him, but I don't think you realise just quite how difficult it is to be around someone who is so down on themselves ALL THE TIME! Nothing I say can make him feel better and nothing anyone says to you can make you feel better or more confident. It has to come from within yourself.

Therefore, you really need proffessional help to get over this. Because nothing is so bad it's worth ending your life over.

Are you close with your parents or any siblings?

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....Thought you might like a girl's opinion....

[quote="Girlfriendofapua"][quote]Thanks for the word of adivice GF of a PUA.
But its hard when you are uglier than the son of the devil,like if i have a total deformed face,and fucked up skin,even harder when you see other dudes dating and picking up girls,i feel SO unable.
In the end, looks are 60% of the game,so the game doesnt really help in my case.
thats why i wanna end my life.
I also have no money,and no health.
An if a guy is fucking handsome,he didnt do any effort,the only thing he should be proud of,are his luck.[/quote]

You're welcome.

If looks are 60% of the game so the game deosn't help you, then don't use the game - just be yourself.

There will be a girl out there for you - you just need to believe that and have more faith in yourself and more self confidence. It would help if you read books like Jlax suggested - I have heard from friends that the Power of Now is an amazing read and seriously helps one's mindset.

My boyfriend is currently going through what you are feeling (not to the same extent maybe) but he feels like he isn't attractive enough, he has no money to spend on me or to improve himself and he is constantly getting sick. I absolutely adore him and I want to help him, but I don't think you realise just quite how difficult it is to be around someone who is so down on themselves ALL THE TIME! Nothing I say can make him feel better and nothing anyone says to you can make you feel better or more confident. It has to come from within yourself.

Therefore, you really need proffessional help to get over this. Because nothing is so bad it's worth ending your life over.

Are you close with your parents or any siblings?[/quote]

Im relatively close with my parents,but telling them about his would be a bad idea.
Im actually better now,than when i wrote the post,i dont know why,but i am,too bad i feel,this good feeling is gonna be over soon.
The girl i was sarging fucking played with me,and now is dating another guy. :D
The game helps,but game with ZERO looks,is same as shit,thats what i tried to say.
I dont know what else to say either hehehe.
Maybe the lack of success is putting me down,it kinda sucks anywayss.

I agree with you. But you say you want to end your life - think of how badly it would affect them if you did. Their lives would be ruined - do you really want to do that to the people you love and who love you?
Hold onto the good mood then! Don't believe that it will be over soon. Kepp holding on.
That stuff happens to everyone - even the guys you think are so perfect and get everything they want. She is obviously not worth your time and effort.
At least the game helps you a bit.
Maybe. But it seems like you have deeper emotional issues that just a lack of success bringing you down. I think you should see a doctor - you could have bipolar or a depression disorder.

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....Thought you might like a girl's opinion....

Rune this pick up shit is fucking tough. Man I don't know how you're feeling because I'm not you. I can tell you a little of my story and how I feel sometimes that might be similar. I doubt it will ever be as bad as it is for you man. I grew up in a sheltered environment where my parents drowned every aspect of my life besides academics. I was the fat kid with no friends. The friends I thought I had would talk about me behind my back. Never got invited to anything and even if I did I wasn't allowed to go. At 18 I'd never been to a party or had a gf.
When I left my school to go to university I had just read the game. Decided then and there to change my life. My campus is apart from the campus where all my 'friends' go. I changed my life there. I did every fucking thing that I wouldn't dare to do in my old school or with my old friends. I built a strong social proof base and actually have some real friends. But, whenever I see my old friends from school I feel angry and defeated. I feel like they took away the earlier years of my life. Truth is it was my fault but I hate that they don't fucking respect me the way I deserve now. They feel that I am the same fucker who I was in the past. I changed as much of myself as I could and these guys don't accept it. That's fucked up too isn't it man. But I realised that sometimes you need to move physically away from the things in your life that have kept you in the bad state.

Listen, I want you too look at your life and grasp all the aspects that cause these intense feelings. As you hold them before you, take a look at each in it's entirety, feel it out and hear what each says to you. It will lead you to the root of the problem. Fuck the psychiatrists and all that...they're a fucking waste of time by my standard. Take the root of the problem and analyse it, know exactly what it is and gather it all up and toss it away. See it moving farther and farther from you. Listen to the sound it makes as it soars away and take note of the newfound feeling that fills your body. That relief and confidence that shines through you perhaps beats within you.
That's a basic way to get rid of bad feelings. I've used it because it's easy to do even infield. I suggest that you work on inner game. Take time for yourself man. I try to every single day. PM me and I'll recommend some inner game stuff for you and where you can get it.

PS I lost my best friend to suicide a couple months ago. Problem is he thought no one cared about him.

Smarpesh man hang in there. I'm not exactly good looking but I realised that's a lot of fun. Being so awesome that you can get 10s that all the other guys, even the handsome ones want and can't get is great. Sure girls are shallow (sorry girlfriendofapua ) but they're only shallow until you get them talking. Women make things real by talking about it. So I help them feel emotions by talking. Trust me an ugly 'ass faced' guy who can make a woman feel and have a deep emotional and sexual connection is better than any handsome guy. I recommend a little nlp to boost your confidence.

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Fox

I can relate to you guys...i was made fun of by everyone since i was in grade 5 till high school ended n it really fucked me up...i was soo depressed and didnt believe in myself and wanted to put a gun to my head n i wouldve if i didnt have ppl around me who cared for me...but after i was out of high school i was all on my own i went to a university that no one in my high school went to...im in my 4th year now n im still fucked up from all the bullying and shit and im very shy but ive realized that my life is my own hands and im in control of it and how ever i want to feel is based on my thoughts and behavior...theres a lot of negitivity coming from u i dont blame u at all i was like that too but everything changed when i watched david d's videos and it really helped me to understand a lot about inner game and right now im reading feeling good by david burns..this book really helps u to deal with depression but u gotta put the time n effort into it man hope this stuff helps u...n btw u say that no one gives a shit about u but look at all the ppl here that r trying to give u a hand to overcome this...stay strong man life is worth living u just gotta take control of it.

Guys this is just a stage of life. Refuckinglax. Work on yourself and youll become happy eventually. Actually im happier than I have ever been because I have taken action. These 80-120 minute meditations everyday are really paying off and ive only been doing them for a month. The power of now is truly a life changer if you put the principles and teachings in action. It will truly change your life. Give it time. All this writing isnt gonna solve shit. You know what is. So get after it! You got this. I seriously thought I was a worhtless piece of shit who didnt deserve to live. But now im fucking past that and its something I bareley even think about because its a thing of the past.

All of your problems are in the past. Theres nothing wrong with the present moment. All the shit that happendis done and gone. Youll never get it back so whats the point in wishing you did? There is none. Your just wasting time and energy thinking aout the past. Fuck the past the present moment is the only thing well ever have so cherish it. Nothing will happen in the future it will happen in the now. Nothing happened in the past it happened in the now. Everything around you is going around right now. and your missing out because your not right here in the now.

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Cut the shit, time to fuck.

Indeed it is a stage of life.

It was called growing up. I had to kill the boy, and become a man.

Even as a man, the same shit permeates. The same problems are there...but as a MAN...they are irrelevant, because to LIVE as a MAN...

...makes this already difficult life sustainable. The glimmer of hope for all males...lies in the very genitalia that makes man man.


Balls. That is what it means to live as a man. Brass balls.

The girl got away, and is fucking another dude. Be a man, accept and move on.

Job sucks? Be a man, suck it up until you MAN UP, and seek a new job.

It's not easy being a man. Many boys are scared to become men. To be a man is more than just being MALE. Big difference.

Most women today are more of a MAN than a MALE.



I'm no teacher. I'm not qualified to teach or share info. YET...being a man so far, I can attest to this: The real world, as a MAN, is a fucking scary place. Forget death, gangs, or other non-relevant danger situation; the greatest danger to mankind is their own self, their own crying infant inside them.

To kill the baby inside you; which whines and complains at what is otherwise NORMAL EVERYDAY CIRCUMSTANCES...



...that is the test of manhood. Once the baby is dead...you can have all the sex you want, get whatever needs to be done done, and live another day knowing that, because you are a MAN, you have the greatest reason to live.



The girl at work is fucking another dude. I had to accept that as a man. Instead of moping, I went to Starbucks right after I got out of work, saw a "Now hiring" sign, went in, befriended the staff in less than 7 seconds, got instant social proof, built my rep, got the assistant manager's #, and in less than 10 minutes, I got an interview Wednesday to get out of my hell job?

Why? Cause I did what a man has to do (Under God)...



BEING A MAN IS ALL THAT MATTERS. It is your reason for existence.

To be a man. That is life.


Let's see where this goes.

Good to see that your seeing progress man. Keep up the good work.

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Cut the shit, time to fuck.