I don't know who I am.life was good the last few months but now I hit a low point.The problem is I don't know who I am, I don't feel like I have an identity.This makes it hard when meeting people because how can people get to know me when I don't know who I am.
I have oneitis aswell I really like this girl and she was mad about me, I know I am the right person for her but because I don't know who I am its like I have many different personalities, sometimes I'm the funny guy, sometimes the cool guy, sometimes the crazy guy or the serious guy.she fell for me but I don't know which me.
I wish I had a label which defined me as a person...I want to know who I am but I don't know how to find that person I feel confused and lost would appreciate any advice...

Hey seansmc,

I've been through, exactly, what you've been through. I feel you man.

I know, how it feels like, to have many, different personalities, which really showed itselves when you hit rock bottom.

I personally believe, it's because, of over-analysing things bit by bit, just continue to do the high-value stuff, which your girl finds attractive.

Create a definite plan, start with small plans, accomplish them. Because when you, are not doing anything, you tend to over-analyse things.

I feel, you are a normal person, everyone has a cool, serious, funny side of them. Let these personalities flow, it's only human. Don't think too much about it, & you will be fine brother.

Sonney

I got a label for you: Emo. You're welcome. You don't have an identity because you don't have interests. You don't have interests because nothing makes you passionate (other people don't count). Nothing makes you passionate because you are depressed. Loop back to the beginning. It's up to you to break this loop and try something new, even if you "don't feel like it". Fucking man up and do it anyway, you owe it to yourself and this girl. If you keep up the pattern you're living now, you're just going to keep getting the same results, don't you think?

Thanks both replies are good.Yeah sonney your right I do over analyze things far too much.Your right it is only human to have different personalities within yourself. Thanks for the advice man.I think with this girl its finished but I'm just going to get over it and move on, she was really into me we got on well but to her it was like she didn't know me at times, I fucked up

minsok I understand what your saying and your right at the moment I'm not passionate about anything.I do have interests but they are going out clubbing and watching football that's it.I do need to change and take something up.. The way I was the last few weeks was like an emo and I only realized this now, I was feeling depressed over certain things.
Things that people are passionate about help create their identity, I need to find something I'm passionate about.

Serious I realized something now, thanks for the help

Finding goals and aspirations is difficult, and it does contribute to identity crisis. And deep down, you probably are depressed, not just about the girl, but life in general. Your foundation isn't solid. Clear your mind, start over, forget about the girl because thinking about her isn't going to bring her back, look at things you like, big or small, look at things other people have, and make it your goal to have those things of your own. Get passionate about those things, learn about them, be able to talk about them with other people. Its a starting point, but once people know you for your passions, you become someone of value to them. Not that there's anything terribly wrong with being a drinking buddy, but there is if that's all you are. Walking emptiness waiting for the next party or club.

_________________
The best PUA advice is also the best fighting advice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ijCSu87 ... rn-1r-4-HM

"walking emptiness waiting for the next party/club" that sums me up perfectly right now.Thanks for the advice Tundra it was helpful, new start for me tomorrow..

Its almost like smoking, its a negative addiction. You don't like that you do it, you know its bad for you, but trying to stop being that way feels too difficult. You can't imagine yourself. You try going cold turkey - you try being social, positive, and motivated to fill in those gaps, you will make some inroads (acquaintances), but ultimately you only take 1 step forward yet feel 2 steps behind because you don't feel genuine, or comfortable with yourself, you feel inadequate, and that feeling translates into the depths of your friendships and ability to make new friends. You cycle back into not having an identity and being depressed because you can't imagine yourself.


Try to imagine yourself. What would the ideal you be? Find the middle ground and work towards making it reality. Imagining yourself is a big task, for some its like telling someone to create matter from nothing, you don't know where to begin. This is where you start, with your current life, and expand. Think of ways to enrich your current life until you have a conceivable path of being who you imagined. Think of it like a tree, you want it to grow & branch out, you want it full of leaves, you want to be so enriching that others can live off of the fiber, climb you, enjoy your shade - being "that social guy" who is always grounded at the center of everyone. On that path, you synchronize, you find yourself and your identity. You become a person, a memory, someone with a foundation in people's minds. If you've been around here long enough, you'll know that routines and looks aren't the core of game, its how you feel and how you radiate that to others. You don't have to actually be the person you imagined, you have to think you are, and the only true, genuine way to do that is to have a philosophy of enriching your life and working toward being who you imagined.


And no, I'm not sitting at the top of the mountain giving you these scrolls, but I've looked at every moment in my life where I made a serious friend, and it was because I was adventurous and expanded subconsciously. I shared interests with others and each time, it developed a piece of identity. Even if that identity didn't directly translate into pick up, the point is it makes you a richer person.


/end sage advice.

_________________
The best PUA advice is also the best fighting advice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ijCSu87 ... rn-1r-4-HM