Some of you will know that I am recovering from a break-up; the reason I signed on here. I saw my ex last week and I tried to be what I learned from hours and hours of David D stuff, but I failed, I failed hard.

She wants to be friends, but I don’t, so I said I wanted to say goodbye to her. I broke up all contact with her.

The hard part of all is that she goes out of her way to meet other people, she is flirting with all sorts of guys and especially romantically with one of them even though she told me 3 weeks ago that she doesn’t want to get involved in another relation. For me this is really mind-blowing that she could do something like this. I get why, but I just don’t understand. It is like the girl I once knew has completely changed who she was with me. Like something died in her. I still miss that sweet part, but I hate and I am grossed out by the ‘new’ she. She let me believe in the whole ‘love is real’ thing, but now I really am basing everything on science.

The good thing about this all is that I realized I should enjoy every moment and live every day the fullest. I want to achieve my dreams and goals and this is easier now with the mindset I created. Although I still need to fight the thoughts that crawl in my head like ‘I wish I could enjoy the life with her I had’. I also think that a part of my new drive Is the anger towards her. I know that being emotionally affected because of this it let me know that my self-worth needs more improvement. I am the nr 1 guy in the world, people should be glad to roll along if I let them. I shouldn’t have to care when someone wants to leave. But this is still something I will have to develop, because it’s a hard one.

I’m asking myself the question; Who am I?

I know what I want in life and I know what I want from relations to people. I am not the kind of guy that goes out to a bar or disco and have fun. I like to get some friends over to my place, watch a good movie, go out late at night to the ocean, pitch a tent somewhere in the woods and enjoy each other company.

About meeting girls; I enjoy having deep relations with a girl. I personally wouldn’t want to kiss a girl before I know her. I want to have something going before I get involved romantically. But after having a LTR I don’t know how well this works out. I enjoy being a sweet guy, I enjoy doing things for her. I like it when she sleeps on the couch I can lift her up and carry her into bed, giving her a glass of water and her tooth brush so she can brush her teeth. I like it as a hobby, but this is how you can lose a girl. Also when I am with a girl, I want nobody around. I like all the romantic stuff. Hugging, kissing, bringing a carpet with you to an open field and watch the stars together, having a small bbq on the beach together, pitch a tent in the woods later at night and build a campfire and read some Donald Ducks. I like to take care of her but it can be really suffocating.

This is what I like and what I want. But as I said before; girls don’t want this kind of stuff and will find it unattractive. But how do I merge these two things together? Can it be done with the right attitude?

Dude

I like you man
I see a lot of you in me, i enjoy doing stuff for my girl as well, I am not a party animal either, I don't find fulfillment in kissing a girl just for the kissing. It's too shallow for me.

but my girlfriend also broke up with me. I was suffocating her. I had a relationship for 2.5 years. I was the best boyfriend she could imagine. But she screwed up.
Or I screwed up,, I dunno
You might think I was all sweet and pussy towards her but thats wrong, I gave her all the freedom she wanted. I was there for her when she needed me, I had her back.
I was sweet towards her when she deserved it, but at one point she started seeing older guys, went on a holiday with them, smoking pot with them and getting drunk
thats when I got really mad and called her out on it. She thought I was jealous and beta and broke up with me for it.
I still hate her for it. She wanted to be just friends as well, she literally said she was not in love with me anymore and that I was her best friend and she did not want to lose her best friend.
I also got into a course from David D lol

I broke off all contact as well. But I did not wait long enough, I waited 2.5 weeks. But you should wait at least 4 weeks. I swear to God.
Let me give you some advice to turn the tables lol

Alright, I dunno what happened between the 2 of you but do this asap:
Leave her a text message, an email or call her (you pick)
and let her know you are absolutely fine with the break up, and you think it is for the best.
Since you are probably lying about this, I would go for either the email or the text. so she can't hear your voice which might give away you are not thinking the break up is for the best.

After that break off all contact with her for at least 4 weeks. I swear to God this is so important.
In those 4 weeks, hit the gym, work on your goals, do whatever you want that makes you happy.
Start dating other girls, but don't have sex with them yet unless you really dont want her back or she wont find out about it.
It also works if you have other girls flirting with you a little on facebook, and upload cool pictures from you partying or at least being preselected.
If she calls you, texts you whatever. Don't reply instantly, reply a day or so later.
Keep things light, unless she brings shit up. then its okay to talk about the heavy stuff.

After the 4 weeks, the new, more confident, improved you is ready. While she has been pitying about you.
Give her a call, make sure its light hearted and you sound happy. Tell her it would be a waste to throw away such a beautiful friendship and meet up with her for a drink, or buy some clothes for you.
Now, be funny, light hearted, act like you don't care. Have fun with your ex girlfriend while she is falling in love with you all over again lol

Take things slow, let her make all the moves. If she does not no sweat, just kino her and make her laugh.
It's important to not panic, dont look needy and look confident. I failed those, especially needy.



About your question;
I balanced being sweet, and being alpha in those 2.5 yeras. That's how I did it. You must find the right balance.

_________________
Failure was never an option


Because girls don't like sex.. Yeah RIGHT!
Why else do you think girls have P*ssies