how?
nobody would like to be insecure and everybody would like to be very confident.
let's forget for a second the "woman " topic and talk in general.
some people have problem with women and are insecure....so they focus on that topic but they forget that their lack of confidence come also from other part of their life.
so building a big self extime in other areas can also help you with women.
an area in wich i'm very bad is "job " and this insecurity influence me also with women even if with women i'm good.
so guys when you are bad in an area, you feel anxiety and you would like to build confidence what do you do ?
to be onest i haven't tryed many tecniques and i would like to hear your advices about that.
what i tryed didn't work for me.
the only way that i know to be better in an area is trying to do what make you scared.....fail....try again.....doing this over and over again until you find it easy to do.
probably is not the best way and isn't also the only one so i'd like to hear something that can make you more secure in genaral.
something that really worked for you

Write down every compliment you have ever heard. Read them every day. Every time you get a compliment write it down.

Handing other people compliments also helps, I recommend complimenting accessories, style, or character(not looks). It makes you more confident because you can endorse the strengths of others. Always remember if you make everyone around you feel good than it is easier for you to feel good and confident. Part of charisma is accepting your humiliation while making everyone feel good. Every insult I get I blow out of proportion while accepting them and laughing at it in front and at the person. Life is truly funny, remember don't take life so seriously you will never get out of it alive.

This is one of my favorites. Write down 100 things you love about your self, whether it is your hair, smile, laugh, eyes, knowledge, friends, family, intelligence, sense of humor, add more every day and read them every day. When you do these types of things like focus on how great you are rather than your negatives it will lift your confidence tremendously. While I agree with Hobbit's post, I would say that it is very simple just find out what you like/love about yourself and expand it. You may not realize how great a person you are until you expect yourself to be great through what you love of yourself.

These things can make you confident in a hurry because when you read all the compliments you have been given it gives you validation. When you read all the things you love about yourself it will become ingrained in your mind. You are this guy other people have said it about and you are this guy who loves a lot about yourself.

I actually wrote it across my mirror, every time I see me, I see a guy who has compliments written all over him. Things I love about me, things said about me.

Confidence is about nothing more than self love. Comfortable with who you are and love who you are. I have also been on this kick lately where I have been saying to myself I am the man. Visualizing exercises are very good, every day when you wake up see who you want to be. Every time you go to sleep doze off thinking of this guy you want to be. Through out the day think of yourself as that guy, you are that guy. Soon enough you will be him. There are some good NLP tactics to helping change your mind about yourself.

Good advice, poeticlyskuac. I will definitely try this!

I think this one of the greatest ways to build confidence. There is a lot to come to terms with about yourself, the majority of us focus on our flaws, we don't realize how much we have going for us. Every person is unique and has something interesting about them. Every person has lots of great qualities. It doesn't mean that you aren't as good as someone with what ever advantage. A lot of time we focus on our flaws, most of us focus on our physical attributes, in reality people(men and women) would rather have a fun ugly person than a obnoxious good looking person. Our physical attributes mean very little to our company after thirty seconds, it is our character that will make the moment, the things that makes us interesting that make us fun. Don't take this to mean you shouldn't dress well or groom yourself, both of those things will give you even more confidence, your presentation of yourself is very important.

I give away a lot of compliments every day(to men and women) and working in grocery I see a lot of people, I receive just as many or more compliments. Just make sure you don't compliment their physical attributes like everyone else does, their shirt, skirt, bracelet, glasses(this one is huge), necklace, dress, shoes, hair, things that are choices that they make, parts of their personality and presentation. I'd recommend finding ways to compliment others so it sounds witty and less generic. I like, that is cool, sweet, etc. I love works more often than any of the generalities.

Those are smooth ground grippers(kicks, floor lovers, etc. rather than shoes).
That is a slick necklace.
Quality decision on selecting those earrings.
Your threads are nasty smooth.
That was a good moment when you selected those glasses.

I give a lot of compliments that are stunning but will make them turn red rather than blow you off. A lot of people talk about negs, but I don't neg as hard, I am rather playful. It is the way I say my compliments that make me different it also helps you do back handed compliments easier. It is always good when everyone feels good around you, you also naturally become the Alphas, your comfortable and everyone is comfortable. Complimenting Alphas works very well in disarming them, they like you now, you endorse their strengths and play cool while at the same time show it doesn't mean much, your not scared of their best feature.

When you compliment someone it shouldn't be a big deal, there is a lot to be said about a great compliment. I have never been shut down for saying your earrings are smooth. Those are some smooth ground grippers. Look at you little mama togged out to the bricks. They just need to realize you give everyone compliments it is not a big deal.

Remember the more compliments you will send out the more you will receive. I compliment a necklace half the time I get a compliment back on mine, I wear an Aztec calendar medallion every where I go.

To me this is the biggest part of getting confidence is giving compliments, because you receive so many in return. It is important however to be able to just say thank you, that is very nice of you, remember you will be getting compliments all the time. Receiving compliments should make you happy but as a confident human you know that about your self, they just gave you some validation. Just because someone gives you a compliment doesn't mean you owe them one. A confident person knows how to receive a compliment

I have got some ridiculous compliments ones that have literally scared the hell out of me. One lady told me(more than one has said something similar) when ever I am having a bad day if your here and I come in you make me feel better automatically. That to me was almost like pressure to be that guy, who I didn't try to be. Another one said everyone in the store can be happier when you are here. I get compliments every day, some of them are so tremendous both of those struck me as the best I have ever received. Compliments on other things are awesome but I mean that is to me the best compliment you can ever receive, that is saying you are a tremendous human being, and what person shouldn't enjoy your company? What girl wouldn't be lucky to date a guy that is like that? How could that not boost your confidence? All because I consistently hand out compliments, what you give is what you will receive.

Someone who has charisma makes people around them feel good, show they are human just like them. A charismatic person is always on level with the person/people they are talking to, they are never better.

Sorry but to me handing compliments out is more important than the rest of the things I said because you receive validation from everyone around you. The fact that you did the other things helps reinforce all of those things. You inscribed all those compliments, you inscribed everything you like/love about yourself, you reconfirm all of this when you read it. You aren't lying to yourself that is the best thing about it all. LONG POST I APOLOGIZE!

This is a great post poeticskpua i just how its a long term so you look at it everyday??? how does this help AA?

Actually it becomes habit. It only takes like 5 minutes for you to go over all your compliments. I like to read them slow and remember when I got them. Remember how good those compliments felt. I also like to read and realize all things I like and love about myself. Man this is at best 10 minutes to start your day. Once you remember them you can go over them in the shower. I look at all of this everyday. I do all of this stuff. It isn't that hard to do this stuff. I do it before bed as well, good way to go to sleep is feeling great. Visualization exercises are awesome as well.

A.A. is a situation that can't be helped with out you just going out and failing unfortunately. You need to just get off your "but" and do it. "Just pull up your skirt grab your sack and go" in the words of one of my buddies.

I have a friend that had a goal to get denied 10 times in one night so that he would not be afraid to get denied. He even told them to deny him. He'd walk up start a conversation ask them to deny him via words and/or slap him. I'd recommend it.

You can visualize yourself going up to girls and being denied over and over again. In fact you do it until it doesn't matter, you do it until you are numb to it. So you see yourself failing so much that failure doesn't matter. It isn't a fear anymore. You have seen yourself walk up to so many different girls and fail that you aren't afraid anymore. Now when you walk up this girl doesn't matter. I am not at all saying to expect failure that would be a terrible decision, I am merely saying our fear is of being denied or failing in most cases and because of that we need to just be denied. We need to understand that it is ok to fail. It is ok to be denied. Everyone is at some point. Most of us have been denied several times and that is ok. It isn't that big a deal to be denied. If you are so what, not doing anything puts you in absolutely the same boat. If you are denied you won't get her just the same as never approaching her.

If you see a girl you like, especially if you've made eye contact I recommend walking up to the girl immediately. Rather than think about what to say. Conversation will come if there is an attraction there.

If you are walking over and say "Hi My name is........."(confident body language) and stick your hand out and shake her hand(I bow my head slightly looking at them in the eyes, while turning my palm up, it's charming and chivalrous, girls love it.) you will seem far more confident than if you beat around the bush, just be "the man" when you do it. If you are complimenting like always all you have to do is say that was a fantastic/quality selection on the "insert accessory/clothing". You can also make an observation about her(if you have been studying body language you can tell her how she feels, bored, happy, annoyed, etc.). No need for canned lines if you can tell something about her from looking. Jewelry, clothes, tattoos, hair style, all clue you into what type of music or lifestyle they like. After all their style is their billboard for what they want to be recognized as. Music is one of the best topics to get into, most of us listen to a wide variety. You can usually find a common ground, just don't be to intimidating with your opinions.

There isn't really a perfect answer for A.A. it is different for all of us, but the only way to get over a fear is to face it my friend. Good luck.