Ok, the whole thing is a but much for an openeing post and I realise I need to get a good grip on my life.

This morning I had to face the inevitable break up of a 10+ year relationship. We seperated about 15 months ago initially. We have been seeing each other during that time with plans of sorting our issues and moving on. The last 2 months have been full of unanswered calls, sloppy replies to messgaes etc. Yes I did the wrong things and pushed for more only to drive the relationship into the ground.

There was another guy involved but the depth of this relationship was drinks/meals etc, or that is all I am told. Anyway today I was told she cannot take the risk of being involved with me for fear of things not working out and having to go through leaving me again.

For the last 2 weeks, I now feel like I was her little puppet on a string. She would play with me when she felt like it and needed some form of entertainment and I was left to stew in my own thoughts when she didn't. The strings are now cut and I am no longer dancing to her tune. I've accepted that I must now put this behind me and at the ripe old age of 38, I need to start focusing on myself and my future life and just let go of what was.

I have only a few friends in the area now as we both moved to another area for a few years and I lost touch with a few old friends. I find it generally easy to open in silly places like supermarket checkouts etc, and always have a little fun banter at these sort of locations. My sticking points is really having the confidence in myself after this knock and keeping conversation going in a fun way.

I've kinda been prowling these forums for the last week or so. I know I need to start working on my inner self and start appreciating myself a lot more.

The bonus is, I have just finsihed work and have 16 days holiday to sort myself out, and start getting out there. I am currently trying to set my personal goals to achieve.

TLDR:- I'm low, I'm down, I know what I've got to do and I intend to get on with it!

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Moving forward. 1 day at a time.

You can get better then her...much better in regards to looks, personality and internal substance. Youre lucky this didnt happen 10 more years down the road. 38 is the new 28 lol...seriously bro Im dealing with something similar and I feel you.