new member, 0 confidence, virgin, in college, need help!!!!!



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PostPosted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 6:32 am 
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Hey guys so Im new here with this being my first post so Im gonna give a little summary of me, what im struggling with, and anything else important to add. Please read this guys, I know its long but Im too scared to talk about it with my IRL friends oddly enough and feel more comfortable seeking advice from strangers. I really do need your help. I know someone reading this was in my shoes once so please take the time to read and reply, you have no idea how much it would be appreciated. Cliffnotes will be at the bottom for you lazy fucks too haha.

Im about to be 21 by the end of the month and im not the most excited about it like I should be. Im still a virgin and have 0 confidence in myself at the moment. Im in college at a big university with tons of HB’s. Im even in a fraternity and yet, I still manage to go home alone after parties. I walk by hundreds of girls daily and at parties and I do nothing about it. Why you say? Because A) im a pussy b/c im way too scared of rejection obv. B) I look about 5 years younger than I am, C) Have the physique of a 16 year old, D)terrible at conversations in general, E)very shy, the list can go on for awhile.

It is very frustrating and depressing that Im wasting the best years of my life and Im terrified that Im gonna end up alone and be a loser for the rest of my life. I have sleepless nights thinking about how much I hate the situation im in right now and I would give up a lot of blessings god has given me if I could have the ability of “having game”

I know a lot of the problem comes from my struggle with social anxiety which of course means I also have AA as well. Even thouigh Im in a fraternity, I get very uncomfortable at parties or bars because Im not a person with much to say and my interests are different than most and I struggle a bunch with keeping a convo going. I just always feel left out at parties and don’t get how Im the only one that struggles with fitting in and socializing for hrs during parties.

I do like to blaze more than I do drink which is another problem as well. I spend too much time on xbox thanks to the epicness of COD2, Fifa and NHL 10, when I know I could be using the time for something with more value to my life. And even if I do drunk, I usually don’t like my drunken state b/c even though this sounds dumb, I don’t feel like the same person I know deep down in me. I have noticed that the alcohol does help me not care as much and I do have a tad bit more of out going personality to me obv.

I have read the books conquering your campus, how to become and alpha male, and some of magic bullets, yet I still feel helpless because I haven’t improved at all since reading those, infact, my sitation got worse.

Another reason why I started this is because Im bringing my drumset back to town and am gonna be playing in a band with a couple of my friends from the fraternity. My friend who told me to start playing with him is an Alpha and all he has to do is breathe around HB;s and he’ll f-close. I figured this can be a huge help to me since I will be around him much more often since were gonna be playing at the bars. I feel like this could be the beginning of me changing my life around since playing in this band is gonna force me to go out and socialize a lot more. Should I tell him my situation? It just feels lame asking him for advice for some reason but Im at rock bottom so what do I got to lose right? Plus, don’t girls love a guy that can play instruments? Haha. Anyways, how can I use this situation to my advantage?

So I come to you guys in need of tons of help. Theres so much info out there on improving your game/confidence etc. But I come to you in hope that you guys can show me some links or any tips to help me out. Because I have no idea what is considered good or bad material on here due to the overwhelming amount of info that’s on here.

Heres what I need help with most in order: keeping conversations going, how to be more confident, how to cure my SA and AA, how to be and appear more interesting around others, basically everything I guess. But I know there are people on here that were in my shoes once and I know they can help out. Any favorite links or articles of yours you’ve read or any other shit like that would be really appreciated.

One love yall



CLIFFNOTES:
-about to turn 21, still a virgin
-attend a major university w/tons of HB;s
- even in a fraternity where I could be meeting 100’s of girls on weekends but…
- have no confidence in myself and struggle with keeping a good conversation
- have AA and Social anxiety
- have read a couple books but still no improvment
- gonna be playing in a band with my friends forcing me to go out and socialize more
- need help


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 10:55 am 
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Hey you have come to right place!

The main thing is not to worry about your situation. Sure those things are there but how is a girl that you first meet a party going to know them if you were simply going to ask for an opinion. You have take this in steps. First of all I would go outside in the street and just hold eye contact with a girl until she looks away first.It sounds really silly but it might start to give you some confidence! Next to try smile at the same time while holding eye contact and maybe evenasking for directions?

Simply walk up and say "Hey do you know where X is?" and make sure you do so in a loud confident voice! Dude she aint going no your not feeling confident but if you have a loud voice you might get somewhere.

I know these missions and others can be found at the newbie's question board so it might be worth checking it out.

_________________
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. ~Winston Churchill


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 6:29 pm 
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Search for demonic confidence and download the audio

if you dont pussy out and do it all in a row successfully, youll have zero approach anxiety


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 11, 2010 6:19 am 
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Yo, I was thinking about doing that program! How was it?


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 11, 2010 4:04 pm 
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From what you stated your already going in the right direction by studying materials, but you need to get out in the field and get some practice. All the theory in the world will not teach one how to fly an airplane, at some point a potential pilot must get in the cockpit and actually fly the plane.

Go out for a couple days a week to a place where you do not know anybody, and start using some openers. Just like learning to ride a bike, the more you initiate conversation and practice the better you'll get at it. :) Also, I'd recommend starting out with HB 6 or ugs. You'll not be as nervous and get in some good practice; a military pilot doesn't start out by flying an f-22 Raptor, but learns by flying simpler, easier to operate aircraft to learn the basics.

Good luck! :D


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 12, 2010 7:31 am 
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okay so I managed to find the audio files and pdf and downloaded it all. Im trying to listen to this but I cannot take this seriously. To anyone that has done this "demonic confidence" why does the 2nd guy sound like a retard? It makes it very hard to take seriously and very hard to stay paying attention with. The one guy is cool but the other guy just sounds so fucking stupid.


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 16, 2010 12:16 am 
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Demonic confidence, learn the basic, all good stuff. In reality, you need a mentor, a workout buddy and someone to look up to (like a role model). These days it seems less and less guys are willing to be there for other dudes as role models, but sure have a lot of good intentions.

Your friend sounds cool, the one who is the AMOTG. Being in a band is an easy way to get laid, if you know how to use it. It's all about image, inside and out. You seem to know exactly what's wrong with you, perhaps you even want help to take the first step, but you won't admit it. The thing is, you have to be brave and take that first step in becoming who you want to be.

First imagine yourself as someone you want to be, draw that mental image in your mind. Then take action to achieve it. It's just too easy. Remember to get sleep too, you need sleep.

Intentions and knowledge get you nowhere without action. Just remember that.

_________________
I'm not run of the mill, because it's from the mill I'm running...


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 16, 2010 3:30 am 
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Here's the way I look at it: What are you more afriad of, rejection or the depression you're in now? Is being rejected by ONE girl really that bad compared to what you are currently feeling? HELL NO!! I was once in your situation and I can second that "HELL NO!". So let that be your motivation. Are you really content being sad and not doing anything to better your sexual life? Realise that it can only get better from where you're at now, because it's the truth. The next time you are in a social situation, talk to the hottest girl that you spot. Realise that there is nothing that special about her (asfar as looks go). She didnt earn her looks, she takes shits, and shee bleeds out of her vagina monthly. Yeah, she's the one who should be nervous, not you. Continue doing that for a week and I PROMISE that your anxiety and fear of rejection will start to fade away. Hell, let them reject you, who cares? At least you're making the effort to do something about the situation. Then, just work from there.

Another thing I would reccommend is getting used to being in active and social. The best way to do this is to join a gym, or since you're in college, join an intermural sport at your school. Be out there doing things. You get some great social interaction with women and being active puts you in a great state of mind


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 16, 2010 8:01 pm 
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You said you read John Alexander's "How to Become an Alpha Male"? Read it again, this book is golden, you need to put what you learn into practice though. Try this simple one: hook your thumbs in the back pockets of your jeans or whatever you have on (this demonstrates extremely strong laid back and relaxed "I don't give a fuck" body language) and recite to yourself in your head "I am the most confident person in the world". Feel it know it. Don't do it awkwardly or half-assed you need to really shake yourself into changing your perspective.

Do ridiculous things and speak your mind. Some might say "well...it's not that easy..." or whatever, that's bullshit it is that easy. Do what you want and say what you want to say. Self affirmation is a great way to get over things. Some that I used to use and still use are:

"I am the most confident person in the world"
"I'm an alpha male"
"I don't care what people think about me"
"I'm a social butterfly nothing can phase me"
"Nothing can shake my reality"

Make up your own don't use mine if you don't have to. This may sound stupid but, eventually you'll see reality in a new light and actually start to believe these thoughts if you keep at it. Nothing we can say or what you read will change you. You need to change yourself and you need to want to change.

Stop smoking so much bud too, I don't care what your debate is. I used to smoke a quad a day, bud makes you lazy and takes your energy use it moderately. Laziness will only make your progression into what you want to be slower. You're running out of time make shit happen or else.


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 16, 2010 9:04 pm 
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Dude, wtf are you doing? Ask your self that

Do this:
1.) write a list of affirmations of qualities you want but say them like you already have them. Like "I am confident" "I can attract any women I want" Make sure it's positive and make sure you don't write "I am NOT afraid" If you write NOT, them subconsiously your mind says you are.

2.) Read this list every night before going to bed. I have a list of 18 or so affirmations. If you read this every night it'll slip into your subconsious. Read it also before going out.

3.) Learn not to give a fuck about what people think of you

4.) Don't have expectation! Just go out to have fun and try new things

5.) Actually try working on social skills and pick up. Go out somewhere and start a random conversation. If you used canned stuff use a couple. The most important part of this is the transition into conversation. Notice things about her, pick on her, actually be curious. Don't ask rapid fire questions. Have it be a balance of questions and what you have to say.

6.) Just be fucking confident dude


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