As I write this I wonder why I am so painfully shy. I live my life as a big apology to everybody. I drink myself to sleep everyday because I have nobody to turn to. I have nobody to talk to about my problems, fears, insecurities. I wish I had just ONE good friend. One good friend to hear me out and motivate me out of my self-loathing. I feel like I'm alone when it comes to feeling like that, but, I'm sure that other guys out there feel the same way I do. I'm sure there are guys out there that feel just like me and wish they could find just ONE good friend. I lost mine a couple weeks ago. I treated her like shit just to keep my own ego high. After several years of taking my shit she finally had an epiphany. She finally realized that there were SO many other people out there that could give her such a better friendship. People that wouldn't constantly analyze her or judge her just for being herself. I'm so judgemental that it makes me SICK. I'm getting a nauseating feeling in my stomach right now just thinking about it. It's that kind of feeling you get when you find out your girlfriend's been cheating on you those nights she said she was "at work." God, it sucks.
If I could go sarging right now I would. I would go hit up the nearest mall and just meet people. I wouldn't even be looking for a lay or for a girlfriend... just somebody to relate to, somebody that could occupy my mind and free me from my chains of self-destruction. I know this is such a depressing post to read. I'm not suicidal or anything, just really depressed and I need of some comfort from friends that I don't have. I guess when nothing else is left you turn to whatever you have left. I'm sorry for those of you who are reading this. I'm sure you think I'm being a whiny bitch, but, I just needed to do this to get it off my chest. I feel like crying. I hardly cry, I hardly show any kind of emotion. But I think crying would help. It would serve as a way of purging this PAINFUL feeling out of me. Only time will cure this hurt that I have over my bestfriend. But, something DRASTIC will have to happen in order for me to change my shy ways. If I wasn't so shy I would have people to lean on, or I wouldn't have to lean on anybody period. But, until then I'll just keep to myself. Hoping like a true AFC that I wish change would just magically happen. What a sad way to look at life....

I know where you're coming from dude.I'm going through the same shit here.It's rough not having anyone to lean onto.One can only move so far on their own before reality sets in:That everyone needs friends to live a life.

I hate to be realistic on this dude(I hate saying what I'm about to say),but this is what people have proven to me,what they are going to prove to you,and what people like that have proven through time:

-They will not give a shit.Most people are too busy worrying about themselves,and more and more,people are losing bonds with each other and end up backstabbing everyone just to get ahead,or nail the girl.Honor and integrity is dying dude.

-They will also take time to screw you over(You in general).People these days are willing to make another suffer so that they can move upwards in life,even in the pick up game.I went to a teen night in a club,and made many approaches.Out of about 20 different approaches,13 of them were taken by assholes who tried to make me look bad(Young guys,especially in High school,will always fuck with you to get ahead).In the field,it's called AMOGing.You will see it more as you grow in the Pick up arts.

-And yes,unless one has unshakeable confidence,you will ultimately fail(Again,you in general).Mystery had said in the opening chapters of the Mystery Method that "Nature will unapogetically weed your genes out of existence" if you fail to attract women.Although I think that is one of the most fucked up things to ever tell people,it is truth,and life's truths CANNOT be overriden.Those who suffer must,according to the rules of social relationships,overcome,or perish.

Trust me,I,and most likely everyone else involved in pickup,wish this werent the case,and that the whole pickup game wasn't as complicated as it is,but,as Darwin had proved,only the strong survive.Of course,I am in no way,shape,and form calling you weak.It's just that,like me right now,you're getting beat down unfairly by life,and cant seem to find any solution in sight.

Well,I'm not going to tell you what you SHOULD do,cause that would just be the easy way out.I could tell you just hang on,everything will be alright,but that wont do you any good,because that's not what you want to hear.What I will tell you is what you CAN do:

Take up a physical hobby,such as martial arts,parkour,or weight lifting.Working out will allow you to get in touch with you're inner animal,as well as get you in good shape to even further help you suceed with women.

Read more books.Not so much the academic-style mumbo-jumbo you were forced to read at school,but more like Robert Greene's "48 Laws of Power",Mystery Method,Magic Bullets*,Sun Tzu's "Art of War",and all related books.Knowledge is power.

Look more into the subject of "Emotional intelligence".IN NO WAY am I hinting that you're emotionally stupid,but trust me,it might help get in touch of how you can read people.

As for the future,life is unpredictable.Hopefully,if you do the right things,events will set up in a way that,if you put your mind to it,you can get out of your rut.

Take it easy.

And your plan is? What are you going to do about this, yes you are being a whiney bitch. and tbh, you sound like a foul person to be around. So change it, become a better person. Instead of writing a post about your depression, write one about ways you have listed to improve yourself. At some point, everyone just needs to be jerked back to reality. You dont liek your life, change it holmes.

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'Oh my, you sir are the Moriarty of self awareness and personnal refelection'

What a title!

I know what you're going through. I had a long long period of time (most of highschool) were I really didn't have any real friends. My one best friend who I had for two years passed away and I legit just had nobody to talk to. I wasn't getting any ass, no gf, no friends... it sucked. I was self-deprecating and I tried a lot of shit. I read lost of books about how to be happy and they all said things that I really understood, but none of it actually changed anything.

Going to college (just a new scene) really helped me but I realized one day what really really got me out of my depression. You have to WANT IT. Obviously I didn't want to be depressed, but it was so much easier to just sit and sulk and feel tired and dead than to actually do something about it.

SO: Every time you start feeling miserable first thing you need to do is break out of the miserable frame of mind. Easiest way to do that, just yell something. Seriously... You start thinking "I'm such a worthless piece of..." and then just yell as loud as you can. It breaks the train of thought. As soon as you've done that within 30 seconds decide you're going to go do something active. Go to the gym, call some people you haven't talked to in years and see if they wanna hang out, go sarge... anything. Just DO NOT let yourself sit and sulk - it's a downward spiral.

Hope it helps.
Last thought: Being happy isn't about having what you want, it's about wanting what you have.

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You're not gonna be having any less sex with her if you don't talk to her.

Hey guys it's me again. I just read your replies and wanted to thank you all. Even you Curse. I think I just needed some words of encouragement. I needed a reality check, and boy, I do sound like a sour person to be around. I appreciate you guys giving me your input, it helps a lot. Nothing better than some ICE COLD reality to wake you up. Lol, I'm actually about to leave to go to the gym. I haven't been there in about a year! Good news is I'm going sarging this weekend at the mall with my cousin. He knows about the Game and when I told him I was going to the mall to open sets he challenged me. He said he would open more sets than I would. See... this is the type of shit that some people need. Somebody to push you. I'm NOT going to be outdone. Our only goal is to CRASH and BURN every set. I'm going to take it one step at a time until I'm able to piece everything I've seen, read, and heard into ONE. Wish me luck fellas. Or better yet, luck has nothing to do with it, only my determination to change.