Hey guys I've been going out with this girl for 5 months and shes the first ive gone out with or dated or done anything with in over 5 years. Our relationship was going really really great. I would tease her a lot, she would tease back, we would have a lot of great times and I would take the lead most of the time physically to move forward on that level. I took her further than she ever had been with any other guy which was 3rd base. We were both really happy. there was only one problem which was that her dad wouldn't let us date so we had to keep it a secret and now she has school and work we never get to see each other much, maybe once a week or two weeks. We talked a few weeks ago and she said she didn't think she could do it anymore because of her being so busy with school work and us not being able to see each other much.

So we didnt talk for a couple days and I was going through pure hell with anxiety attacks and deep depression but I kept making my self move and do stuff productive even though I fucking hated it. Two days later she messaged me and we talked and she said how she missed me so much and how she wished I was there now. Going on she said how it just felt normal to talk to me. So we talked some on text and phone for a week then I saw her last Sunday. We took a walk and I gave her a big hug and she didn't hold back and she seemed happy to see me. I sat her down and talked to her. She admitted she still has feelings for me but didnt think they were as deep as mine but she still thinks of me more than just a friend and didn't feel the same for any other guy like me. We agreed to continue to hang out and not be dating but be able to express our feelings for each other and she said she was glad we had that talk. for the rest of that day we laughed a lot and teased each other and watched a movie and she gave me a really nice shoulder massage like she use to always do. She was really excited to see me. I was about to leave and we gave each other a big hug and she was smiling a lot like she use to always do. Since then we've been texting and teasing each other again with a lot of happy faces and tonque faces like we use to but I was suppose to see her today but she had to end up going to work with her dad for CAS hours for her IB Diploma. Ive been getting those really panicky feelings and depression again not as bad but still pretty bad.

Anyways, I cant tell you exactly how everything was and what happened, but that should be a good start. I really like this girl and want to keep her in my life, she still has feelings for me and gets excited when im around like before. Shes always playing with her hair, blushing, loosing her train of thought, playing with something in her hand, and she still likes it when I tease her. I think Im on the right track to getting her back but I just need some help from you guys to help get me through this. What can I do to get her back?

Now I know your going to instantly think this guy is such an AFC and maybe I am because this is the first girl ive felt any real feelings for in a long time and the relationship was great and were still doing pretty decent. I feel really weird and bad when I think about other girls and think about doing stuff with them even if I logically tell myself that its ok since were not dating or going out. It just makes me feel really bad. I need real help from you guys, not just people talking about growing balls and getting over it. I really appreciate it as I need as much help as I can to see things in a better way.