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i read somewhere that instead of bragging you should just instead show them that you are an attractive guy by letting what you do and who you are speak for you. what exactly does this mean though? what do i "do" and who am "i"?
Whim,
Hi, I will try to help you answer this to the best of my ability. It sounds like the person giving you that information was talking about using Demonstrations of Higher Value or DHVs for short. If you have ever been around someone that brags non stop it can be annoying and it doesn't get you the girl. There is a more subtle way of communicating that you are a great guy and to build attraction than to brag.
The idea of using Demonstrations of Higher Value or DHV came from the Venutian Artist Handbook which I highly suggest you check out. You can sometimes find copies circulating the Internet. Or you can purchase Mystery's book which will also explain this. Basically there are a few DHV spikes that you should be concerned with communicating when talking to a woman.
These DHV or Attraction spikes have been around for many years and are universal in triggering attraction inside women. These are as follows:
Pre-Selection - which is the idea that we are demonstrating women already like us. This also shows we are safe to be around to women. Since they already know women like you they can skip a step of qualifying you and making sure you're cool enough to be around. This skipping of the step triggers the Attraction. That doesnt mean you have to be Brad Pitt and have women all over you, you can simply mention hanging out with a girl, or a past girlfriend during a conversation to initiate this spike.
Protector of Loved Ones - This is one of the oldest of DHV spikes. The idea that you are a protector and take care of those around you is a basic need of people including women. That doesn't mean you have to beat up someone to prove your point while around her, rather you can simply mention how you'd do anything for your friends or especially FAMILY.
Leader of Men - No you don't have to be President of the USA to qualify for this one. Women like leaders, whether its the lead singer in a rock band, quarterback on a football team, or the leader of a social circle. If you can somehow demonstrate to the girl you are talking to that you lead your group of peers of friends then you have successfully show this.
There are others as well but these 3 are the main ones to first concern yourself with. Others include:
Being Unaffected - Showing that you are not affected easily by emotions.
Being Socially Savvy- showing you have understand of what's going around you socially.
Non-Needyness - showing that you don't need the girl or need to be in a relationship with her. For instance texting a girl 50 times in a day would show that she is very important and you are needy. It's kind of the idea of detaching from the outcome to get your results.
Sorry for the long message but I do hope this helps get you started. You can find more on DHV or Demonstrations of Higher Value by searching the forum or checking out those books I mentioned. Also, the other parts of your question is simply communicated to the girl by telling stories about yourself. You might tell her stories about things you go do, or hobbies you might have.
Jon
CHAT