The Pursuit of Pleasure vs. The Avoidance of Pain



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PostPosted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 6:46 pm 
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While I am FAR from any expert in this fileld of approaching strange women AND successfully arousing their desires and interest in me.

I'd have to say that probably 80-90% of men are deathly afraid of rejection, especially from an attractive woman, so most men AVOID THE PAIN and never even try.

Everything we do is motivated by two things, the pursuit of pleasure and the avoidance of pain. Unfortunately the stronger of those two forces is the "avoidance of pain." Even when there are TWO choices or roads and BOTH of them involve pain, it will be the GREATER pain that will be the greater motivator.

Let's say you have a BIG home work assignment OR a huge marketing report that is due on Friday. Well... today is Monday and since this report or assignment is going to be painful, we'll often avoid it (stronger force). BUT... as Friday approaches and we're now faced with TWO pains - the pain of DOING the report/assignment OR the pain of NOT having it done on time. In this case the GREATER pain wins out and we perform the painful task of doing the report, because the pain and embarrassment of NOT having it done would be MORE painful.

For many men who are faced with the proximity of an beautiful woman who has entered into their immediate realm, it is usually that "avoidance of pain" that motivates us more strongly, with thoughts of the shame of rejection and the possible public humility. This MOST powerful of motivating sources, the avoidance of pain, will prevent us from that "pursuit of happiness" (the lesser of the two forces).

NOW... if a man could change his frame of mind and his point of view, then he MIGHT be able to use this "avoidance of pain" to truly "pursue his happiness." Since the GREATER pain will be the stronger force, there IS a MUCH greater pain that never dawns upon us, so let me provide you wiith those thoughts and then see if we can't motivate us with those primal urges, but with some more intelligent reasoning.

Okay... the one pain is the pain of rejection and shame. If I approach this woman and I screw up or get rebuked, then I'll have to crawl back on my belly, because THAT is how low I'll feel... Avoiding the pain. NOW... what if this woman is truly the most amazingly perfectly beautiful woman for you. Each man has specific and unique tastes, so this woman caught your eye and just may well be the most "PERFECT woman" for you.... a TRUE "10" How often do THEY come around. So, try to think about THIS.... here is one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen or may ever see in my life, if I don't take a chance and approach her and give my "opening," which only has to start with, "Hello" or "Hi" If I don't engage her in conversatoin and get her to be... "attracted" to me... if I don't give her a chance to know me, after all... once a lady gets to know me, welll... she can't HELP but fall in love with me.

If I DON"T make this approach and opener with the most amazingly attractive woman I've seen in ages and perhaps EVER.... if I don't get her phone number, if I don't ever see her again.... then I maybe missing out on the greatest, most joyous, and most pleasureable experience of my entire life. Now THAT would be MUCH more painful.

If you do this right, if you focus your thoughts, your dreams, and, your feelings towards the potential PUER creating a truly PAIN, which will carry you through"avoidance of pain" mind-set, where that thing which once seemed TOO painfu l,will

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 03, 2009 1:09 am 
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Tony Robbins did a series about this subject, it was pretty good. Good job posting about this, most guys don't understand this concept.


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